---
title: "54 Hot tub Quotes by 52 authors"
description: "Browse 54 Hot tub quotes by 52 authors. Discover the best Hot tub sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08a/charles-woodson-5033_best_the-hot-tub-is-my-best-friend-1964891_1964891.jpg"
---

> [The hot tub is my best friend.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-woodson/the-hot-tub-is-my-best-friend/)

[Charles Woodson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-woodson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08a/charles-woodson-5033_best_the-hot-tub-is-my-best-friend-1964891_1964891.jpg)

> [There's nothing better than sitting in a hot tub.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ashley-roberts/there-s-nothing-better-than-sitting-in-a-hot-tub/)

[Ashley Roberts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ashley-roberts/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a29/ashley-roberts-5396_better_there-s-nothing-better-than-sitting-in-a_442276.png)

> [Oh, that sound? I'm in the hot tub, reading a novel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-smiley/oh-that-sound-i-m-in-the-hot-tub-reading-a-novel/)

[Jane Smiley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-smiley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e21/jane-smiley-2120_books_oh-that-sound-i-m-in-the-hot-tub-reading_2064250.png)

> [“Just don’t drink the Kool-Aid,” sniggered Chuck, nodding toward the hot tub. He leaned down and”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-mather/just-don-t-drink-the-kool-aid-sniggered-chuck-nodding-toward-the-hot/)

[Matthew Mather](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-mather/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cc0/matthew-mather-12556_hot-tub_just-don-t-drink-the-kool-aid-sniggered_1707853.jpg)

> [Trust me I'm mountain clean, if the boy in my regime. On stage I'm poison, Hot Tub Time Machine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jae-millz/trust-me-i-m-mountain-clean-if-the-boy-in-my-regime-on-stage-i-m/)

[Jae Millz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jae-millz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d75/jae-millz-20926_hot-tub_trust-me-i-m-mountain-clean-if-the-boy-i_1094520.jpg)

> [I love a spa day, so put me in a hot tub and give me a massage, and I am a very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ashley-roberts/i-love-a-spa-day-so-put-me-in-a-hot-tub-and-give-me-a-massage-and-i/)

[Ashley Roberts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ashley-roberts/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c0/ashley-roberts-5396_day_i-love-a-spa-day-so-put-me-in-a-hot-tub_2617717.png)

> [“Jumping in the hot tub with this woman had been a decision of epically stupid proportions.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abby-niles/jumping-in-the-hot-tub-with-this-woman-had-been-a-decision-of/)

[Abby Niles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abby-niles/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/24c/abby-niles-42329_hot-tub_jumping-in-the-hot-tub-with-this-woman-h_2873655.jpg)

> [“When you get to Hell, I'll be sitting in the hot tub waiting.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-houghton/when-you-get-to-hell-i-ll-be-sitting-in-the-hot-tub-waiting/)

[Kristen Houghton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-houghton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/38d/kristen-houghton-82284_crime_when-you-get-to-hell-i-ll-be-sitting-in_2652923.jpg)

> [Imagine a hot tub for the mind. That is what meditation is; it can bathe your mind in relaxing thoughts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eknath-easwaran/imagine-a-hot-tub-for-the-mind-that-is-what-meditation-is-it-can/)

[Eknath Easwaran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eknath-easwaran/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c1/eknath-easwaran-7274_hot_imagine-a-hot-tub-for-the-mind-that-is-w_898285.jpg)

> [“that was about as good as it was going to get this side of a hot tub, a good-looking man, and a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-weber/that-was-about-as-good-as-it-was-going-to-get-this-side-of-a-hot-tub/)

[David Weber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-weber/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/376/david-weber-10416_chocolate-milk_that-was-about-as-good-as-it-was-going-t_634165.jpg)

> [“When you get to Hell, I'll be sitting in the hot tub waiting." Cate Harlow, PI”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-houghton/when-you-get-to-hell-i-ll-be-sitting-in-the-hot-tub-waiting-cate/)

[Kristen Houghton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-houghton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c2d/kristen-houghton-82284_crime-thriller_when-you-get-to-hell-i-ll-be-sitting-in_3123862.jpg)

> [I do an old style. I don't use a hot tub. I don't use water loads. I just do my own something…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/merab-dvalishvili/i-do-an-old-style-i-don-t-use-a-hot-tub-i-don-t-use-water-loads-i/)

[Merab Dvalishvili](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/merab-dvalishvili/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1d/merab-dvalishvili-6541_crazy_i-do-an-old-style-i-don-t-use-a-hot-tub_715841.jpg)

> [If you're in a company, you're dancing from 9 a.m. till 7 in the evening, and then you go home and get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neve-campbell/if-you-re-in-a-company-you-re-dancing-from-9-a-m-till-7-in-the/)

[Neve Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neve-campbell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c5/neve-campbell-9519_body_if-you-re-in-a-company-you-re-dancing-fr_2948546.jpg)

> [Where I live in Oklahoma, it's all ranchers. My friends are all cowboys and pretty rough guys. If I had a hot…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/blake-shelton/where-i-live-in-oklahoma-it-s-all-ranchers-my-friends-are-all-cowboys/)

[Blake Shelton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/blake-shelton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c7a/blake-shelton-2265_cowboy_where-i-live-in-oklahoma-it-s-all-ranche_2039683.jpg)

> [Do you know who is ready to go with the presidential campaign? Jeb Bush. Jeb already has plans to end the war…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-letterman/do-you-know-who-is-ready-to-go-with-the-presidential-campaign-jeb/)

[David Letterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-letterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/449/david-letterman-378_brother_do-you-know-who-is-ready-to-go-with-the_3220847.jpg)

> [Golf in Indonesia has something else to offer: ways to make you forget the last four hours and take away the aches.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/raymond-bonner/golf-in-indonesia-has-something-else-to-offer-ways-to-make-you-forget/)

[Raymond Bonner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/raymond-bonner/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/12c/raymond-bonner-37469_aches_golf-in-indonesia-has-something-else-to_3222206.jpg)

> [You ever spent eight hours acting in water? It's a lot easier to get in and out of a bath. Hot tubs…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-pally/you-ever-spent-eight-hours-acting-in-water-it-s-a-lot-easier-to-get/)

[Adam Pally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-pally/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac2/adam-pally-11313_acting_you-ever-spent-eight-hours-acting-in-wat_1258612.png)

> [I like the public hot-tub at the hotels. I like when a guy is already in there, I say, "Hey, do you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-like-the-public-hot-tub-at-the-hotels-i-like-when-a-guy-is-already/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9fd/mitch-hedberg-695_add_i-like-the-public-hot-tub-at-the-hotels_2111337.png)

> [Now on Friday nights, if I want to go hang out with friends, I go hang out with friends. If I want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demi-lovato/now-on-friday-nights-if-i-want-to-go-hang-out-with-friends-i-go-hang/)

[Demi Lovato](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demi-lovato/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/082/demi-lovato-612_friday_now-on-friday-nights-if-i-want-to-go-han_202048.jpg)

> [“If it hadn’t been for the tequila shots at the taco stand, I’d like to think I would have turned and walked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anson-scott/if-it-hadn-t-been-for-the-tequila-shots-at-the-taco-stand-i-d-like-to/)

[Anson Scott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anson-scott/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9cf/anson-scott-38546_hot-tub_if-it-hadn-t-been-for-the-tequila-shots_2081266.jpg)

> [Oh definitely. It'll be in a hot tub, with my entire head squeezed into a jet. The photos are going to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-sudeikis/oh-definitely-it-ll-be-in-a-hot-tub-with-my-entire-head-squeezed-into/)

[Jason Sudeikis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jason-sudeikis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b18/jason-sudeikis-20098_articles_oh-definitely-it-ll-be-in-a-hot-tub-with_3006896.png)

> [I've been an ambassador of goodwill all over the world, spreading this message, did we do heal the world, treaty of all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-jackson/i-ve-been-an-ambassador-of-goodwill-all-over-the-world-spreading-this/)

[Michael Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-jackson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d8/michael-jackson-411_ambassadors_i-ve-been-an-ambassador-of-goodwill-all_1387599.jpg)

> [“As I stood there, with the two of them staring at me, I suddenly realised that this was more than just a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-bayswater/as-i-stood-there-with-the-two-of-them-staring-at-me-i-suddenly/)

[Michael Bayswater](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-bayswater/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d8c/michael-bayswater-85571_adventure_as-i-stood-there-with-the-two-of-them-st_2334965.jpg)

> [“A week ago, if someone had told her she’d be sitting in a hillbilly hot tub with a bunch of sexy, shirtless…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-s-joyce/a-week-ago-if-someone-had-told-her-she-d-be-sitting-in-a-hillbilly/)

[T.S. Joyce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-s-joyce/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19b/t-s-joyce-21031_crazy_a-week-ago-if-someone-had-told-her-she-d_2983655.jpg)

> [When I was 14, a camp counselor explained what "eating out" was and I vowed to never have it done to me.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sloane-crosley/when-i-was-14-a-camp-counselor-explained-what-eating-out-was-and-i/)

[Sloane Crosley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sloane-crosley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5b0/sloane-crosley-1764_cabins_when-i-was-14-a-camp-counselor-explained_2574309.png)

> [I was religious with the way I stretched, the way I would do my soft-tissue work, whether it be massages or foam…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-thomas/i-was-religious-with-the-way-i-stretched-the-way-i-would-do-my-soft/)

[Joe Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-thomas/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f7a/joe-thomas-10196_cold_i-was-religious-with-the-way-i-stretched_2883766.jpg)

> [We are going to do 'Hot Tub' until we die. Every Monday. Then we'll come back and do it as zombies. 'Hot…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kurt-braunohler/we-are-going-to-do-hot-tub-until-we-die-every-monday-then-we-ll-come/)

[Kurt Braunohler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kurt-braunohler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b0/kurt-braunohler-12250_back_we-are-going-to-do-hot-tub-until-we-die_1656694.jpg)

> [“that would be enough for even one of his fancy chrome portholes. ‘I don’t get technology. Any technology. It mystifies me.’ He…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-prowse/that-would-be-enough-for-even-one-of-his-fancy-chrome-portholes-i-don/)

[Amanda Prowse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-prowse/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/846/amanda-prowse-33086_hot-tub_that-would-be-enough-for-even-one-of-his_768948.jpg)

> [“Everyone and their TV commercial wants you to believe that the key to a good life is a nicer job, or a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-manson/everyone-and-their-tv-commercial-wants-you-to-believe-that-the-key-to/)

[Mark Manson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-manson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fae/mark-manson-537_better-life_everyone-and-their-tv-commercial-wants-y_1067132.jpg)

> [“You’re not gonna believe what just happened to me,” Jase says the minute I flip my cell open, taking advantage of break…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/huntley-fitzpatrick/you-re-not-gonna-believe-what-just-happened-to-me-jase-says-the/)

[Huntley Fitzpatrick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/huntley-fitzpatrick/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ad/huntley-fitzpatrick-4385_facts-of-life_you-re-not-gonna-believe-what-just-happe_712340.jpg)

> [“It's all a lie. I said to myself. Romance. This notion that some guy is going to swoop and fall madly in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-mackler/it-s-all-a-lie-i-said-to-myself-romance-this-notion-that-some-guy-is/)

[Carolyn Mackler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-mackler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be0/carolyn-mackler-20590_first-time_it-s-all-a-lie-i-said-to-myself-romance_134070.png)

> [“You wonder about me. I wonder about you. Who are you and what are you doing? Are you in a New York…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruth-ozeki/you-wonder-about-me-i-wonder-about-you-who-are-you-and-what-are-you/)

[Ruth Ozeki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruth-ozeki/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40d/ruth-ozeki-2896_cat_you-wonder-about-me-i-wonder-about-you-w_954997.jpg)

> [“You will get thru it because you have no choice, really . . . it just happens . . . no matter what you may feel now. There’s…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-kushner/you-will-get-thru-it-because-you-have-no-choice-really-it-just/)

[David Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-kushner/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/620/david-kushner-33677_death_you-will-get-thru-it-because-you-have-no_2008579.jpg)

> [“Everett and his mom broke up with me ,thank you very much." "You shouldn't have made out with him in his mother's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-echols/everett-and-his-mom-broke-up-with-me-thank-you-very-much-you-shouldn/)

[Jennifer Echols](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-echols/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e60/jennifer-echols-943_gaze_everett-and-his-mom-broke-up-with-me-tha_1113298.jpg)

> [“In our culture, the water temperature increases daily. Without realizing it, we slowly become acclimated to a toxic environment full of poisonous…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-groeschel/in-our-culture-the-water-temperature-increases-daily-without/)

[Craig Groeschel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-groeschel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e77/craig-groeschel-1762_first-love_in-our-culture-the-water-temperature-inc_1829277.jpg)

> [“Which made him think of drizzling honey all over the body waiting for him in that hot tub. Or, better yet, of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rory-ni-coileain/which-made-him-think-of-drizzling-honey-all-over-the-body-waiting-for/)

[Rory Ni Coileain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rory-ni-coileain/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d6/rory-ni-coileain-10190_horny_which-made-him-think-of-drizzling-honey_3038897.jpg)

> [There is this image of a guy in a hot tub, drinking champagne with two buxom blondes. But that is not the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-leach/there-is-this-image-of-a-guy-in-a-hot-tub-drinking-champagne-with-two/)

[Robin Leach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-leach/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/156/robin-leach-9196_am_there-is-this-image-of-a-guy-in-a-hot-tu_972248.jpg)

> [People come over, and we watch things like 'The Paul Lynde Halloween Special.' I have a hot tub. Everybody puts on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paget-brewster/people-come-over-and-we-watch-things-like-the-paul-lynde-halloween/)

[Paget Brewster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paget-brewster/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3cf/paget-brewster-27598_around_people-come-over-and-we-watch-things-lik_449809.jpg)

> [As the summer moves on, there are Saturday nights when I come home and find friends I haven't even been out with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-o-driscoll/as-the-summer-moves-on-there-are-saturday-nights-when-i-come-home-and/)

[Brian O'Driscoll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-o-driscoll/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec8/brian-o-driscoll-7399_been_as-the-summer-moves-on-there-are-saturda_3078582.png)

> [My wife and I have always thought it odd that, on social occasions, couples play the 'hot tub fantasy' game where you're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lee-mack/my-wife-and-i-have-always-thought-it-odd-that-on-social-occasions/)

[Lee Mack](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lee-mack/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c7b/lee-mack-7146_celebrity_my-wife-and-i-have-always-thought-it-odd_1635324.jpg)

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                        "text": "Where I live in Oklahoma, it's all ranchers. My friends are all cowboys and pretty rough guys. If I had a hot tub back there, I may as well have Richard Simmons come over and live with me.",
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                        "text": "Do you know who is ready to go with the presidential campaign? Jeb Bush. Jeb already has plans to end the war in Iraq that his brother started. All he needs is a hot tub time machine.",
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                        "text": "Now on Friday nights, if I want to go hang out with friends, I go hang out with friends. If I want to stay in and be in the hot tub and have people over to watch movies, I do that.",
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                        "text": "“If it hadn’t been for the tequila shots at the taco stand, I’d like to think I would have turned and walked away in a state of moral indignation. But the reality was that a platoon of Marines couldn’t have kept me out of that hot tub. It was an auspicious start to an otherwise doomed relationship. I should have just enjoyed the first night of debauchery and walked away, but never one to let good sense in the way of good sex, I stuck around for the ride.”",
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                        "text": "Oh definitely. It'll be in a hot tub, with my entire head squeezed into a jet. The photos are going to be hilarious. Man, I really hope the internet sticks around so people can reference this article in my obituaries and see that what sounds like a joke was actually amazingly prescient.",
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                        "text": "I've been an ambassador of goodwill all over the world, spreading this message, did we do heal the world, treaty of all nations, circling this huge globe? What I don't understand is just singing about sex and \"I want to get in a hot tub with you baby and rub you all over\" and, but I get battered in the press as the weirdo.",
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                        "text": "“As I stood there, with the two of them staring at me, I suddenly realised that this was more than just a one-night tryst in a hot tub or a drunken fumble with a horny couple, this was the start of something, an adventure. Not just for me, but for the three of us. We had finally made the jump across a gap that had been holding us back ever since we had met and what boundaries and reservations there had been were now destroyed.”",
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                        "text": "“A week ago, if someone had told her she’d be sitting in a hillbilly hot tub with a bunch of sexy, shirtless lumberjacks, chucking darts at one of her paintings and smiling harder than she had in months, she would’ve told them they were crazy. And”",
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                        "text": "When I was 14, a camp counselor explained what \"eating out\" was and I vowed to never have it done to me. It seemed cannibalistic and unhygienic. I also remember that she claimed--in front of an entire cabin of girls--to have been \"eaten out\" by one of the maintenance men in a hot tub. Under hot water. Either something is amiss in my memory of this conversation or she found the most talented man on the planet and all hope is lost for the rest of us.",
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                            "caption": "“When I was 14, a camp counselor explained what \"eating out\" was and I vowed to never have it done to me. It…” — Sloane Crosley",
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                        "text": "I was religious with the way I stretched, the way I would do my soft-tissue work, whether it be massages or foam rollers. I was very good about getting in the hot tub and cold tub, and getting in the training room. I also love to do yoga, and I give yoga a lot of credit for my longevity in the NFL.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Joe Thomas"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "We are going to do 'Hot Tub' until we die. Every Monday. Then we'll come back and do it as zombies. 'Hot Tub' is very important. What we do is based on our live skills. It's stand-up and sketch and improv; everything we do in 'Hot Tub' is important to our jobs. And every Monday I'm excited to do it.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Kurt Braunohler"
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                            "caption": "“We are going to do 'Hot Tub' until we die. Every Monday. Then we'll come back and do it as zombies. 'Hot…” — Kurt Braunohler",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“that would be enough for even one of his fancy chrome portholes. ‘I don’t get technology. Any technology. It mystifies me.’ He reached for a glossy brochure, flipping it open to show her a diagram. Standing close to him was like torture. She felt her stomach flip. ‘We design our systems so they are very intuitive. The panels in each zone are the same, so you only have to learn it once. You can control every element of the boat from the central hub in the main salon, all from the comfort of your armchair. For example, you can alter the deck lighting to suit your mood – there’s a rainbow of colours; you can switch on the hot tub, get it warmed up; and you can even programme the sound system in the bathrooms. All”",
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                            "name": "Amanda Prowse"
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                            "caption": "“that would be enough for even one of his fancy chrome portholes. ‘I don’t get technology. Any technology. It…” — Amanda Prowse",
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                        "text": "“Everyone and their TV commercial wants you to believe that the key to a good life is a nicer job, or a more rugged car, or a prettier girlfriend, or a hot tub with an inflatable pool for the kids. The world is constantly telling you that the path to a better life is more, more, more—buy more, own more, make more, fuck more, be more. You are constantly bombarded with messages to give a fuck about everything, all the time. Give a fuck about a new TV. Give a fuck about having a better vacation than your coworkers. Give a fuck about buying that new lawn ornament. Give a fuck about having the right kind of selfie stick. Why? My guess: because giving a fuck about more stuff is good for business.”",
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                        "text": "“You’re not gonna believe what just happened to me,” Jase says the minute I flip my cell open, taking advantage of break at the B&T. I turn away from the picture window just in case Mr. Lennox, disregarding the break sign, will come dashing out to slap me with my first-ever demerit. “Try me.” His voice lowers. “You know how I put that lock on the door of my room? Well, Dad noticed it. Apparently. So today, I’m stocking the lawn section and he comes up and asks why it’s there.” “Uh-oh.” I catch the attention of a kid sneaking into the hot tub (there’s a strict no-one-under-sixteen policy) and shake my head sternly. He slinks away. Must be my impressive uniform. “So I say I need privacy sometimes and sometimes you and I are hanging out and we don’t want to be interrupted ten million times.” “Good answer.” “Right. I think this is going to be the end of it. But then he tells me he needs me in the back room to have a ‘talk.’” “Uh-oh again.” Jase starts to laugh. “I follow him back and he sits me down and asks if I’m being responsible. Um. With you.” Moving back into the shade of the bushes, I turn even further away from the possible gaze of Mr. Lennox. “Oh God.” “I say yeah, we’ve got it handled, it’s fine. But, seriously? I can’t believe he’s asking me this. I mean, Samantha. Jesus. My parents? Hard not to know the facts of life and all in this house. So I tell him that we’re moving slowly and—” “You told him that?” God, Jase! How am I ever going to look Mr. Garret in the eye again? Help. “He’s my dad, Samantha. Yeah. Not that I didn’t want to exit the conversation right away, but still . . .” “So what happened then?” “Well, I reminded him they’d covered that really thoroughly in school, not to mention at home, and we weren’t irresponsible people.” I close my eyes, trying to imagine having this conversation with my mother. Inconceivable. No pun intended. “So then . . . he goes on about”—Jase’s voice drops even lower—“um . . . being considerate and um . . . mutual pleasure.” “Oh my god! I would’ve died. What did you say?” I ask, wanting to know even while I’m completely distracted by the thought. Mutual pleasure, huh? What do I know about giving that? What if Shoplifting Lindy had tricks up her sleeve I know nothing about? It’s not like I can ask Mom. “State senator suffers heart attack during conversation with daughter.” “I said ‘Yes sir’ a lot. And he went on and on and on and all I could think was that any minute Tim was gonna come in and hear my dad saying things like, ‘Your mom and I find that . . . blah blah blah.’” I can’t stop laughing. “He didn’t. He did not mention your mother.” “I know !” Jase is laughing too. “I mean . . . you know how close I am to my parents, but . . . Jesus.”",
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                        "text": "“It's all a lie. I said to myself. Romance. This notion that some guy is going to swoop and fall madly in love with me and change my life and make everything perfect. It's one big, horrible lie and I bought it. Hook, line, and a ten thousand-pound sinker. Or I guess I should say it's a lie for a girl like me. For Skye, that's another story. The first time Dakota kissed me, down at the hot tub, I remember thinking, this is too good to be true. But if something feels too good to be true, maybe it's not true. Maybe the truth is that Skye deserves him. She'll always be the winner. And I, pathetically, will always be me.”",
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                            "name": "Carolyn Mackler"
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                        "text": "“You wonder about me. I wonder about you. Who are you and what are you doing? Are you in a New York subway car hanging from a strap, or soaking in your hot tub in Sunnyvale? Are you sunbathing on a sandy beach in Phuket, or having your toenails buffed in Brighton? Are you a male or a female or somewhat in between? Is your girlfriend cooking you a yummy dinner, or are you eating cold Chinese noodles from a box? Are you curled up with your back turned coldly toward your snoring wife, or are you eagerly waiting for your beautiful lover to finish his bath so you can make passionate love to him? Do you have a cat and is she sitting on your lap? Does her forehead smell like cedar trees and fresh sweet air?”",
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                        "text": "“You will get thru it because you have no choice, really . . . it just happens . . . no matter what you may feel now. There’s something built-in that enables most human beings . . . not all, to be sure . . . but most, to get thru this . . . like feeling very tense and tight and getting into a hot tub and finding there is no way not to be relaxed in the hot water because the water does wonderful physiological stuff to you and emotionally too that you cannot avoid. It is built-in to enable us to get thru, to enable us, force us, to survive, to stay alive. The question then becomes, after you’ve understood that it will be different, less raw, that the death can not be undone, that you will continue to live and that you will return, a different person, to the life other people define as “normal”: “What shall I do with the rest of my life?” 1. the situation is real and will remain so. 2. there’s nothing you can do about it, nothing at all. 3. now what happens to you? 4. who do you want to be? As”",
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                        "text": "“Everett and his mom broke up with me ,thank you very much.\" \"You shouldn't have made out with him in his mother's scrapbooking room,\" Liz said sagely. \"We're seventeen,\"I snapped, \"and Everett and I had been dating for two months when that happened.What were we supposed to do,eat dinner with his family and keep our hands on the table where everyone could see them?I mean, you and Davis are Mr. and Mrs. Polite Reserve, and even you were macking in the hot tub an hour ago.\" I picked up a pink fuzzy pillow that had fallen from he bed and threw it at Liz. \"You were ?\" Chloe gushed. \"You what ? Hello,I need the details of Liz and Davis.\" \"Hayden!\" Liz squealed, ducking behind Chloe. \"I'm not saying you shouldn't have made out with Everett.I'm saying you shouldn't have done it in his mother's scrapbooking room.Location, location,location.You might have disorganized her supplies.Some people are very particular about their chipboard getting mixed up with their cardstock.\" I closed my eyes,inhaled through my nose,and felt my lungs fill with air. My blood spread the life-giving oxygen throughout my body. \"Watch out,\"Chloe whispered to Liz. \"She's doing yoga.\" My eyes snapped open.So much for controlling my temper. \"Why the hell didn't you tell me Nick's mother left before I went into the sauna with him?\" I hollered at Chloe. \"We didn't know he was here!\" Liz came to Chloe's defense. \"And if we'd warned you about him before he got here,\" Chloe explained, \"You would have known he was coming.We didn't want you to leave.The two of you are surprisingly hard to throw together,let me tell you.\" \"I'm not buying it,\" I informed Chloe. \"You were distracted.You had your mind on taking inventory.\" Liz giggled,turned red, and fell back to the pillows. \"Taking inventory requires enormous concentration!\" Chloe said with a straight face,but she was blushing,too.”",
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                        "text": "“In our culture, the water temperature increases daily. Without realizing it, we slowly become acclimated to a toxic environment full of poisonous influences. As the water temperature rises, we keep pretending we’re soaking in a hot tub having the time of our lives, never dreaming that we’re scalding our souls. As we become scarred and desensitized to what is right and wrong, good and evil, life-giving and life-draining, we lose sight of our first love. We move away from God one degree at a time.”",
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                        "text": "“Which made him think of drizzling honey all over the body waiting for him in that hot tub. Or, better yet, of being covered in it himself, and letting Tiernan lick him clean. Was I always this horny, and didn’t realize it?”",
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                        "text": "There is this image of a guy in a hot tub, drinking champagne with two buxom blondes. But that is not the real me. I am a father, and I am a grandfather, too.",
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                        "text": "People come over, and we watch things like 'The Paul Lynde Halloween Special.' I have a hot tub. Everybody puts on a bathing suit and we splash around.",
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                        "text": "As the summer moves on, there are Saturday nights when I come home and find friends I haven't even been out with sitting up in the hot tub.",
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                        "text": "My wife and I have always thought it odd that, on social occasions, couples play the 'hot tub fantasy' game where you're allowed to pick a celebrity you'd like to share a hot tub with.",
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