--- title: "5 Horrible Quotes By Joan Rivers" description: "5 Horrible quotes by Joan Rivers. Plus more from Joan Rivers and more Horrible sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cff/joan-rivers-669_forward_the-worst-thing-that-ever-happened-to-me_639804.jpg" --- > [The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/the-worst-thing-that-ever-happened-to-me-on-stage-is-someone-ran/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cff/joan-rivers-669_forward_the-worst-thing-that-ever-happened-to-me_639804.jpg) > [What could be nicer than to have three horrible children behind you in an airplane, and the next set, you go onstage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/what-could-be-nicer-than-to-have-three-horrible-children-behind-you/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d0/joan-rivers-669_airplane_what-could-be-nicer-than-to-have-three-h_1116059.png) > [As comedians, we are all laughing because life is so horrible. Life is so difficult, and I cope with it by making…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/as-comedians-we-are-all-laughing-because-life-is-so-horrible-life-is/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/24e/joan-rivers-669_about_as-comedians-we-are-all-laughing-because_1289689.png) > [Life is very tough, you know. You sit at a dinner party and talk to the person on your right or your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/life-is-very-tough-you-know-you-sit-at-a-dinner-party-and-talk-to-the/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/45d/joan-rivers-669_break_life-is-very-tough-you-know-you-sit-at-a_2029655.png) > [Obama came in and said he was going turn everything around, and you can't. Give the guy a break. But I question…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/obama-came-in-and-said-he-was-going-turn-everything-around-and-you/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2de/joan-rivers-669_break_obama-came-in-and-said-he-was-going-turn_2097068.png) ## Other authors on Horrible ## More by Joan Rivers > [I didn't want to do 'Fashion Police' because I thought, 'This is stupid, this is beneath me, who wants to talk about fashion?' It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/i-didn-t-want-to-do-fashion-police-because-i-thought-this-is-stupid/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) > [I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/i-was-getting-dressed-and-a-peeping-tom-looked-in-the-window-took-a/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) > [All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/all-my-way-through-college-i-worked-my-way-as-a-window-dresser-for/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) > [Everyone thinks Angelina Jolie was the first celebrity baby hoarder, but she wasn't. Before Angelina there was Mia Farrow. Mia had an entire farm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/everyone-thinks-angelina-jolie-was-the-first-celebrity-baby-hoarder/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) > [I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/i-have-no-sex-appeal-which-kills-me-the-only-way-i-can-ever-hear/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) > [Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/life-goes-by-fast-enjoy-it-calm-down-it-s-all-funny/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) > [If you hate something, you hate it, and if you like something or somebody, you like it, but tell the truth. And most celebrities…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/if-you-hate-something-you-hate-it-and-if-you-like-something-or/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) > [I have no line. If I think it's funny, it's funny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/i-have-no-line-if-i-think-it-s-funny-it-s-funny/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) > [I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/i-know-now-that-everybody-in-the-arts-is-forever-a-beginner/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) > [Why women don't blink during foreplay... not enough time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/why-women-don-t-blink-during-foreplay-not-enough-time/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) > [My breasts are so low now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/my-breasts-are-so-low-now-i-can-have-a-mammogram-and-a-pedicure-at/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) > [I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/i-love-vines-you-make-this-6-4-second-drama-and-you-can-reach-6/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) > [Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink"? It's like talking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/grandchildren-can-be-annoying-how-many-times-can-you-go-and-the-cow/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) > [I'm a New York girl. I come out of New York theater.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/i-m-a-new-york-girl-i-come-out-of-new-york-theater/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) > [All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/all-babies-look-like-ren-e-zellweger-pushed-against-a-glass-window/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/horrible/joan-rivers/#itemlist", "name": "5 Horrible Quotes By Joan Rivers", "numberOfItems": 5, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. 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That's the only time I would gladly take a terrorist on. 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