--- title: "13 Hey Quotes By Christopher Titus" description: "13 Hey quotes by Christopher Titus. Plus more from Christopher Titus and more Hey sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f67/christopher-titus-1916_bad-news_bad-news-has-never-been-broken-gently-in_3054315.jpg" --- > [Bad news has never been broken gently in my family. Because, breaking it gently takes a few extra seconds. And who's got…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/bad-news-has-never-been-broken-gently-in-my-family-because-breaking/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f67/christopher-titus-1916_bad-news_bad-news-has-never-been-broken-gently-in_3054315.jpg) > [My mom shot and killed her last husband. Yeah, my dad used to say "Hey, dodged that bullet. Ha ha."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/my-mom-shot-and-killed-her-last-husband-yeah-my-dad-used-to-say-hey/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fed/christopher-titus-1916_bullets_my-mom-shot-and-killed-her-last-husband_1552748.jpg) > [Fathers and sons are natural enemies. Look at any species. Shark, sees his father in the water, he's not thinking, Hey dad,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/fathers-and-sons-are-natural-enemies-look-at-any-species-shark-sees/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/25a/christopher-titus-1916_courses_fathers-and-sons-are-natural-enemies-loo_469974.jpg) > [Sometimes, to help someone you love, you have to commit a felony. But, you don't want to go to prison for that.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/sometimes-to-help-someone-you-love-you-have-to-commit-a-felony-but/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7fe/christopher-titus-1916_armed-robbery_sometimes-to-help-someone-you-love-you-h_1321952.jpg) > [Being a parent is a life sentence. From the day that kid is born until the day you die and then some.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/being-a-parent-is-a-life-sentence-from-the-day-that-kid-is-born-until/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bda/christopher-titus-1916_being-a-parent_being-a-parent-is-a-life-sentence-from-t_549745.jpg) > [Normal people terrify me, because they haven't had enough problems in their life to know how to handle problems when they come…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/normal-people-terrify-me-because-they-haven-t-had-enough-problems-in/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd3/christopher-titus-1916_come-up_normal-people-terrify-me-because-they-ha_2961012.jpg) > [Hey! D'you guys hear Dr. Atkins died? Slipped on some ice, hit his head, died on life support. The man who invented…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/hey-d-you-guys-hear-dr-atkins-died-slipped-on-some-ice-hit-his-head/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a1a/christopher-titus-1916_damn_hey-d-you-guys-hear-dr-atkins-died-slipp_647615.jpg) > [My mom was crazy. And her mom was crazy. And her mom's mom was crazy. Is it my turn? Am I going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/my-mom-was-crazy-and-her-mom-was-crazy-and-her-mom-s-mom-was-crazy-is/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/879/christopher-titus-1916_baby_my-mom-was-crazy-and-her-mom-was-crazy-a_302076.jpg) > [The Los Angeles Times reported that sixty-three percent of American families are now considered dysfunctional. Good. 'Cause that means when Armageddon really…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/the-los-angeles-times-reported-that-sixty-three-percent-of-american/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/702/christopher-titus-1916_american-family_the-los-angeles-times-reported-that-sixt_2613067.jpg) > [Being a teenager is the worst thirty years of your life. But it all changes after that. You get a great car,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/being-a-teenager-is-the-worst-thirty-years-of-your-life-but-it-all/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/091/christopher-titus-1916_being-a-teenager_being-a-teenager-is-the-worst-thirty-yea_827418.jpg) > [Normal people, fear the day their parents die. Screwed up people, fear that their parents are going to live forever. Showing up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/normal-people-fear-the-day-their-parents-die-screwed-up-people-fear-2/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b0/christopher-titus-1916_boys_normal-people-fear-the-day-their-parents_2777615.jpg) > [Blood doesn't make you family. Hell, an only child can bleed. It's the sharing of pain that makes you family. 'Cause, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/blood-doesn-t-make-you-family-hell-an-only-child-can-bleed-it-s-the/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a2/christopher-titus-1916_blood_blood-doesn-t-make-you-family-hell-an-on_1062233.jpg) > [When you are a screwed up person, you have a responsibility to keep your normal friends from getting walked on. 'Cos, how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/when-you-are-a-screwed-up-person-you-have-a-responsibility-to-keep/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f58/christopher-titus-1916_bad-guy_when-you-are-a-screwed-up-person-you-hav_114688.jpg) ## Other authors on Hey ## More by Christopher Titus > [My father thrives on fear. You know that prayer If I should die before I wake? I had sheets that said that!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/my-father-thrives-on-fear-you-know-that-prayer-if-i-should-die-before/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Ladies, if you're at the mall and you think your man is looking at other girls just remember: If your man is at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/ladies-if-you-re-at-the-mall-and-you-think-your-man-is-looking-at/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [I find that Americans are all in the middle somewhere, except for the extreme nuts, and extreme nuts on both sides are the loudest.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/i-find-that-americans-are-all-in-the-middle-somewhere-except-for-the/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [My father? A hard drinking man from the 70's. We actually have no pictures of my dad where he is not holding a beer.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/my-father-a-hard-drinking-man-from-the-70-s-we-actually-have-no/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Everybody I've ever met was destroyed by a member of the opposite sex early on and that damage you took into every relationship after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/everybody-i-ve-ever-met-was-destroyed-by-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Psychiatrist are like mind hookers. Give them 200 dollars and they just screw with your head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/psychiatrist-are-like-mind-hookers-give-them-200-dollars-and-they/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [All of Dad's relationships ended exactly the same: subpoena, beep of a moving van backing up the driveway, pile of his clothes burning on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/all-of-dad-s-relationships-ended-exactly-the-same-subpoena-beep-of-a/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Texas is a hell hole, man. Dirt, cactus, lizards, dirt, cactus, the Bush family.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/texas-is-a-hell-hole-man-dirt-cactus-lizards-dirt-cactus-the-bush/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Sometimes failure makes your future because you set the past on fire.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/sometimes-failure-makes-your-future-because-you-set-the-past-on-fire/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [When you are a screwed up person, you have a responsibility to keep your normal friends from getting walked on. 'Cos, how bad could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/when-you-are-a-screwed-up-person-you-have-a-responsibility-to-keep/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [If you're a racist, right now, in 2011... You just look like a retard, man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/if-you-re-a-racist-right-now-in-2011-you-just-look-like-a-retard-man/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Why should I learn English? I'm never going to England. Shah, pffff, ur, doy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/why-should-i-learn-english-i-m-never-going-to-england-shah-pffff-ur/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Passion, manners, and 80 ounces of beer will win the heart of any woman. And if it doesn't, you'll be too hammered to remember.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/passion-manners-and-80-ounces-of-beer-will-win-the-heart-of-any-woman/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [The most powerful person in your life is the one that knows all your secrets and all your lies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/the-most-powerful-person-in-your-life-is-the-one-that-knows-all-your/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Haiti fell over? Who built Haiti? Two of the three little pigs?!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/haiti-fell-over-who-built-haiti-two-of-the-three-little-pigs/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hey/christopher-titus/#itemlist", "name": "13 Hey Quotes By Christopher Titus", "numberOfItems": 13, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Bad news has never been broken gently in my family. Because, breaking it gently takes a few extra seconds. And who's got that kinda time? 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Ha ha.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/my-mom-shot-and-killed-her-last-husband-yeah-my-dad-used-to-say-hey/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fed/christopher-titus-1916_bullets_my-mom-shot-and-killed-her-last-husband_1552748.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fed/christopher-titus-1916_bullets_my-mom-shot-and-killed-her-last-husband_1552748.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fed/christopher-titus-1916_bullets_my-mom-shot-and-killed-her-last-husband_1552748.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My mom shot and killed her last husband. Yeah, my dad used to say \"Hey, dodged that bullet. 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Leave you father a thigh.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/fathers-and-sons-are-natural-enemies-look-at-any-species-shark-sees/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/25a/christopher-titus-1916_courses_fathers-and-sons-are-natural-enemies-loo_469974.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/25a/christopher-titus-1916_courses_fathers-and-sons-are-natural-enemies-loo_469974.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/25a/christopher-titus-1916_courses_fathers-and-sons-are-natural-enemies-loo_469974.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Fathers and sons are natural enemies. Look at any species. Shark, sees his father in the water, he's not…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Sometimes, to help someone you love, you have to commit a felony. But, you don't want to go to prison for that. Hey, dude, what are you in for? Armed robbery? Murder? And then, you have to say, Love. And, that's definitely going to get you, you know, picked last for prison kick ball.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/sometimes-to-help-someone-you-love-you-have-to-commit-a-felony-but/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7fe/christopher-titus-1916_armed-robbery_sometimes-to-help-someone-you-love-you-h_1321952.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7fe/christopher-titus-1916_armed-robbery_sometimes-to-help-someone-you-love-you-h_1321952.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7fe/christopher-titus-1916_armed-robbery_sometimes-to-help-someone-you-love-you-h_1321952.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Sometimes, to help someone you love, you have to commit a felony. But, you don't want to go to prison for…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Being a parent is a life sentence. From the day that kid is born until the day you die and then some. Mom, there is nothing to forgive. You gave me life. And, hey, you're not crazy anymore. Everybody thinks I am. Real funny, mom.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/being-a-parent-is-a-life-sentence-from-the-day-that-kid-is-born-until/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bda/christopher-titus-1916_being-a-parent_being-a-parent-is-a-life-sentence-from-t_549745.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bda/christopher-titus-1916_being-a-parent_being-a-parent-is-a-life-sentence-from-t_549745.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bda/christopher-titus-1916_being-a-parent_being-a-parent-is-a-life-sentence-from-t_549745.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Being a parent is a life sentence. From the day that kid is born until the day you die and then some. Mom…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Normal people terrify me, because they haven't had enough problems in their life to know how to handle problems when they come up. Something little happens and they snap. But being from a dysfunctional family means nothing rattles me. Hey once you've driven a drunken father to moms' parole hearing, what else is there?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/normal-people-terrify-me-because-they-haven-t-had-enough-problems-in/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd3/christopher-titus-1916_come-up_normal-people-terrify-me-because-they-ha_2961012.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd3/christopher-titus-1916_come-up_normal-people-terrify-me-because-they-ha_2961012.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd3/christopher-titus-1916_come-up_normal-people-terrify-me-because-they-ha_2961012.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Normal people terrify me, because they haven't had enough problems in their life to know how to handle…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Hey! D'you guys hear Dr. Atkins died? Slipped on some ice, hit his head, died on life support. The man who invented the all-meat diet... died a vegetable. That's a damn good joke. But that joke's like a Toyota Camry - reliable, not inspiring.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/hey-d-you-guys-hear-dr-atkins-died-slipped-on-some-ice-hit-his-head/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a1a/christopher-titus-1916_damn_hey-d-you-guys-hear-dr-atkins-died-slipp_647615.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a1a/christopher-titus-1916_damn_hey-d-you-guys-hear-dr-atkins-died-slipp_647615.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a1a/christopher-titus-1916_damn_hey-d-you-guys-hear-dr-atkins-died-slipp_647615.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Hey! D'you guys hear Dr. Atkins died? Slipped on some ice, hit his head, died on life support. The man who…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "My mom was crazy. And her mom was crazy. And her mom's mom was crazy. Is it my turn? Am I going to live the rest of my life giggling at raindrops, wearing paper slippers ? When I go to dinner with friends, should I not use a fork 'cause I just might snap? Hey, you guys look great. How's the baby?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/my-mom-was-crazy-and-her-mom-was-crazy-and-her-mom-s-mom-was-crazy-is/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/879/christopher-titus-1916_baby_my-mom-was-crazy-and-her-mom-was-crazy-a_302076.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/879/christopher-titus-1916_baby_my-mom-was-crazy-and-her-mom-was-crazy-a_302076.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/879/christopher-titus-1916_baby_my-mom-was-crazy-and-her-mom-was-crazy-a_302076.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My mom was crazy. And her mom was crazy. And her mom's mom was crazy. Is it my turn? Am I going to live the…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The Los Angeles Times reported that sixty-three percent of American families are now considered dysfunctional. Good. 'Cause that means when Armageddon really happens, thirty-seven percent of this population is going to lose their minds. Oh my God, the world is over! Us sixty-three percent? We're going to go, Hey... there's no one watching the Lexus dealership! We're going to the Apocalypse with leather and a CD changer! You guys have been great. Thank you.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/the-los-angeles-times-reported-that-sixty-three-percent-of-american/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/702/christopher-titus-1916_american-family_the-los-angeles-times-reported-that-sixt_2613067.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/702/christopher-titus-1916_american-family_the-los-angeles-times-reported-that-sixt_2613067.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/702/christopher-titus-1916_american-family_the-los-angeles-times-reported-that-sixt_2613067.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The Los Angeles Times reported that sixty-three percent of American families are now considered…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Being a teenager is the worst thirty years of your life. But it all changes after that. You get a great car, a great job. You got a wife, kids, you got your health. But then your company is sold out from under you, your stocks tank, your wife's sleeping with the gardener and your teenage daughter is pregnant. And you notice that you have a prostate so hard, you can actually take a hammer to it. But hey, not one zit.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/being-a-teenager-is-the-worst-thirty-years-of-your-life-but-it-all/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/091/christopher-titus-1916_being-a-teenager_being-a-teenager-is-the-worst-thirty-yea_827418.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/091/christopher-titus-1916_being-a-teenager_being-a-teenager-is-the-worst-thirty-yea_827418.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/091/christopher-titus-1916_being-a-teenager_being-a-teenager-is-the-worst-thirty-yea_827418.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Being a teenager is the worst thirty years of your life. But it all changes after that. You get a great car…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Normal people, fear the day their parents die. Screwed up people, fear that their parents are going to live forever. Showing up at your house at weird hours of the night, smelling all funny, with a bunch of their friends. Hey boy, this is Harold, Cecil and Dicky. Dicky lost his wife about a year ago. I hear Erin made cookies. Where can I put my shoes ? If that doesn't scare you, you're not human.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/normal-people-fear-the-day-their-parents-die-screwed-up-people-fear-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b0/christopher-titus-1916_boys_normal-people-fear-the-day-their-parents_2777615.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b0/christopher-titus-1916_boys_normal-people-fear-the-day-their-parents_2777615.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b0/christopher-titus-1916_boys_normal-people-fear-the-day-their-parents_2777615.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Normal people, fear the day their parents die. Screwed up people, fear that their parents are going to live…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Blood doesn't make you family. Hell, an only child can bleed. It's the sharing of pain that makes you family. 'Cause, you can't really love a brother or sister until you know that they're as scarred and broken as you are. And, hey, if you grow up with a father like mine and you aren't at least a little scarred and broken, well then, that's not your father. You were spawned by an entirely different guy.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/blood-doesn-t-make-you-family-hell-an-only-child-can-bleed-it-s-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a2/christopher-titus-1916_blood_blood-doesn-t-make-you-family-hell-an-on_1062233.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a2/christopher-titus-1916_blood_blood-doesn-t-make-you-family-hell-an-on_1062233.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a2/christopher-titus-1916_blood_blood-doesn-t-make-you-family-hell-an-on_1062233.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Blood doesn't make you family. Hell, an only child can bleed. 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Ha ha, oh, I'm the bad guy.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/when-you-are-a-screwed-up-person-you-have-a-responsibility-to-keep/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f58/christopher-titus-1916_bad-guy_when-you-are-a-screwed-up-person-you-hav_114688.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f58/christopher-titus-1916_bad-guy_when-you-are-a-screwed-up-person-you-hav_114688.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f58/christopher-titus-1916_bad-guy_when-you-are-a-screwed-up-person-you-hav_114688.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When you are a screwed up person, you have a responsibility to keep your normal friends from getting walked…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hey/christopher-titus/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hey/christopher-titus/", "name": "Hey Quotes by Christopher Titus", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hey/christopher-titus/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f67/christopher-titus-1916_bad-news_bad-news-has-never-been-broken-gently-in_3054315.jpg" }, "description": "13 Hey quotes by Christopher Titus. 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