---
title: "11 Hands Quotes By Darynda Jones"
description: "11 Hands quotes by Darynda Jones. Plus more from Darynda Jones and more Hands sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/846/darynda-jones-474_bumper_yeah-but-what-happens-if-life-hands-me-p_1771275.png"
---

> [Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/yeah-but-what-happens-if-life-hands-me-pickles-bumper-sticker/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/846/darynda-jones-474_bumper_yeah-but-what-happens-if-life-hands-me-p_1771275.png)

> [God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/god-i-loved-sammy-i-d-considered-marrying-him-but-his-wife-got-upset/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d5/darynda-jones-474_hands_god-i-loved-sammy-i-d-considered-marryin_20999.png)

> [If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/if-life-hands-you-lemons-keep-them-because-hey-free-lemons-t-shirt/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c68/darynda-jones-474_hands_if-life-hands-you-lemons-keep-them-becau_2926050.png)

> [When life hands you lemons say, "Lemons? What else have you got?" - bumper sticker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/when-life-hands-you-lemons-say-lemons-what-else-have-you-got-bumper/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df7/darynda-jones-474_bumper_when-life-hands-you-lemons-say-lemons-wh_1733434.png)

> [Time-out,” I said. He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?” “Yes,” I said…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/time-out-i-said-he-twisted-his-hand-around-and-wound-his-fingers-into/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b20/darynda-jones-474_fingers_time-out-i-said-he-twisted-his-hand-arou_1094108.jpg)

> [I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, "This is Beam Me Up." Then to my right. "And this is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/i-pointed-in-the-general-vicinity-of-my-left-ovary-this-is-beam-me-up/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9c1/darynda-jones-474_beam_i-pointed-in-the-general-vicinity-of-my_311124.png)

> [Oh, my god!" I said, throwing my hands over my eyes and hurtling my body against the counter. "What?" "You're naked." "I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/oh-my-god-i-said-throwing-my-hands-over-my-eyes-and-hurtling-my-body/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19e/darynda-jones-474_blind_oh-my-god-i-said-throwing-my-hands-over_2153486.png)

> [But give up my business? The same business I'd built from the ground up with my own two hands and designer Louis…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/but-give-up-my-business-the-same-business-i-d-built-from-the-ground/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6bd/darynda-jones-474_blood_but-give-up-my-business-the-same-busines_1327854.jpg)

> [I brought out the most powerful tool I had in my arsenal. "If you resist," I said into Reyes's ear, "I'll be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/i-brought-out-the-most-powerful-tool-i-had-in-my-arsenal-if-you/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/98e/darynda-jones-474_apps_i-brought-out-the-most-powerful-tool-i-h_3137866.jpg)

> [Oh, my god!” I said to Reyes, my eyes radiating accusations at him. “She took your picture? Just what kind of game…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/oh-my-god-i-said-to-reyes-my-eyes-radiating-accusations-at-him-she/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c96/darynda-jones-474_accusation_oh-my-god-i-said-to-reyes-my-eyes-radiat_376882.png)

> [For one week, all I could think about was drinking margaritas--well, that and running my tongue along Reyes's teeth--but I didn't have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/for-one-week-all-i-could-think-about-was-drinking-margaritas-well/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bec/darynda-jones-474_apartment_for-one-week-all-i-could-think-about-was_523104.png)

## Other authors on Hands

## More by Darynda Jones

> [He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/he-bombarded-me-with-words-of-all-things-apparently-clueless-to-the/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding." I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I was bleeding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/i-have-three-words-for-you-emt-guy-said-possible-internal-bleeding-i/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/see-you-in-a-few-hold-down-the-fort-mr-wong/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/when-fighting-clowns-always-go-for-the-juggler/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/god-i-loved-sammy-i-d-considered-marrying-him-but-his-wife-got-upset/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“Oh, my god, I don't know. What do you want?" "You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/oh-my-god-i-don-t-know-what-do-you-want-you-he-said-his-voice/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“Las mujeres que se portan bien no suelen hacer historia.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/las-mujeres-que-se-portan-bien-no-suelen-hacer-historia/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“If ever there was a time to carry a flashlight, it would definitely be at night.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/if-ever-there-was-a-time-to-carry-a-flashlight-it-would-definitely-be/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [In three hundred feet, turn right," Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/in-three-hundred-feet-turn-right-darth-vader-said-the-darth-vader-i/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“The asshole slipped Peggy a five-spot to bring him his burger first. Never trust a man with a penis.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/the-asshole-slipped-peggy-a-five-spot-to-bring-him-his-burger-first/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“I reported to work the next morning looking like something the cat dragged in, half eaten yet somehow still alive.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/i-reported-to-work-the-next-morning-looking-like-something-the-cat/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/it-isn-t-the-fall-that-will-kill-you-but-the-sudden-stop/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“One day, I’m going to get to the bottom of you, Charley Davidson.” I had no idea she was into anal.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/one-day-i-m-going-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-you-charley-davidson-i-had/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“We should date." I laughed, curled him into my arms, and kissed the soft spot underneath his earlobe. "You're going to have to go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/we-should-date-i-laughed-curled-him-into-my-arms-and-kissed-the-soft/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“A girl, a mocha latte, and a naked dead man walk into a bar,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/a-girl-a-mocha-latte-and-a-naked-dead-man-walk-into-a-bar/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

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                        "text": "Time-out,” I said. He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?” “Yes,” I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips. “If I don‘t go, do I get a spanking?",
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                        "text": "Oh, my god!\" I said, throwing my hands over my eyes and hurtling my body against the counter. \"What?\" \"You're naked.\" \"I'm not naked.\" \"I'm blind.\" \"You're not blind. I'm wearing pants.\" \"Oh.\" That was embarrassing.",
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                        "text": "I brought out the most powerful tool I had in my arsenal. \"If you resist,\" I said into Reyes's ear, \"I'll be forced to Taser you.\" He looked at what I had in my hand. \"That's a phone.\" \"I have an app. You'll probably experience nerve damage. Slight memory loss.",
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                        "text": "Oh, my god!” I said to Reyes, my eyes radiating accusations at him. “She took your picture? Just what kind of game are you playing? You’re under arrest, mister.” His mouth tilted and a dimple emerged on one cheek as I took his wrist and threw him against a wall. Or, well, urged him toward it. I held him against the cool wood with one hand and frisked him with the other.",
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                        "text": "For one week, all I could think about was drinking margaritas--well, that and running my tongue along Reyes's teeth--but I didn't have salt--or Reyes's teeth. I'd also lacked the energy to leave my apartment to get some--or the desire to stoop low enough to beg Reyes to let me lick his teeth after what he did--so I could only wish for a margarita. And dream of Reyes's teeth. I'd secretly hoped a margarita would magically appear in my hand, but that would mean I would have to put down the remote, and God knew that was not going to happen.",
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