---
title: "17 Guy Quotes By Dennis Miller"
description: "17 Guy quotes by Dennis Miller. Plus more from Dennis Miller and more Guy sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ce/dennis-miller-1315_ass_the-nazi-signs-have-got-to-stop-if-you-r_2837338.jpg"
---

> [The Nazi signs have got to stop. If you're in a peace march and the guy next to you has a sign…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-nazi-signs-have-got-to-stop-if-you-re-in-a-peace-march-and-the/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ce/dennis-miller-1315_ass_the-nazi-signs-have-got-to-stop-if-you-r_2837338.jpg)

> [When I went to college, I lived on campus, and the guys I hung out with made the characters in Revenge of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/when-i-went-to-college-i-lived-on-campus-and-the-guys-i-hung-out-with/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/047/dennis-miller-1315_boogers_when-i-went-to-college-i-lived-on-campus_2798942.png)

> [Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/women-don-t-like-guys-who-are-dangerous-women-just-want-us-to-think/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/466/dennis-miller-1315_dangerous_women-don-t-like-guys-who-are-dangerous_1373197.png)

> [Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/bill-gates-is-just-a-monocle-and-a-persian-cat-away-from-being-one-of/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c27/dennis-miller-1315_bad-guy_bill-gates-is-just-a-monocle-and-a-persi_1808566.png)

> [Of \*course\* he needs to renegotiate his salary - the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/of-course-he-needs-to-renegotiate-his-salary-the-guy-buys-more-snow/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58e/dennis-miller-1315_alaska_of-course-he-needs-to-renegotiate-his-sa_614104.png)

> [When the hell is Warren Moon going to retire? I mean, this guy is older than the cuneiform in Nebuchadnezzar's tomb.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/when-the-hell-is-warren-moon-going-to-retire-i-mean-this-guy-is-older/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea4/dennis-miller-1315_cuneiform_when-the-hell-is-warren-moon-going-to-re_1667332.png)

> [I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-m-left-on-a-lot-of-things-if-two-gay-guys-want-to-get-married-i/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a6d/dennis-miller-1315_blow_i-m-left-on-a-lot-of-things-if-two-gay-g_62082.png)

> [The soldiers kill suicide bombers. Think about that. When a guys whole thing in life is to kill himself and you get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-soldiers-kill-suicide-bombers-think-about-that-when-a-guys-whole/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bda/dennis-miller-1315_ass_the-soldiers-kill-suicide-bombers-think_2547073.png)

> [I come from that earlier time in America when palm pilot was a nickname you recieved upon entering puberty! I was more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-come-from-that-earlier-time-in-america-when-palm-pilot-was-a/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/310/dennis-miller-1315_america_i-come-from-that-earlier-time-in-america_759723.jpg)

> [I'm sorry, those pictures from the Abu Ghraib. At first, they, like infuriated me, I was sad. Then like, a couple days…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-m-sorry-those-pictures-from-the-abu-ghraib-at-first-they-like/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f53/dennis-miller-1315_abu-ghraib_i-m-sorry-those-pictures-from-the-abu-gh_3196983.jpg)

> [The good thing about Pittsburgh, it's a good place to be raised... it doesn't tolerate assholes. You're either a good guy or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-good-thing-about-pittsburgh-it-s-a-good-place-to-be-raised-it/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/44c/dennis-miller-1315_bad-guy_the-good-thing-about-pittsburgh-it-s-a-g_141788.png)

> [It's a cocktail-party circuit in D.C., That guy who couldn't master the guitar and get in a band and get laid, he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/it-s-a-cocktail-party-circuit-in-d-c-that-guy-who-couldn-t-master-the/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/058/dennis-miller-1315_band_it-s-a-cocktail-party-circuit-in-d-c-tha_2538646.jpg)

> [My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/my-fear-of-flying-starts-as-soon-as-i-buckle-myself-in-and-then-the/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/946/dennis-miller-1315_acceleration_my-fear-of-flying-starts-as-soon-as-i-bu_753959.png)

> [Forbes magazine has named Mel Gibson this year's most powerful celebrity. ... Forbes' least powerful celebrity? \[Miller displayed the widely circulated image…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/forbes-magazine-has-named-mel-gibson-this-year-s-most-powerful/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f7/dennis-miller-1315_arms_forbes-magazine-has-named-mel-gibson-thi_1793773.png)

> [The second type you have at these parades seems to be the people who want to mislabel Hitler. Everybody in the world…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-second-type-you-have-at-these-parades-seems-to-be-the-people-who/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/560/dennis-miller-1315_disagree_the-second-type-you-have-at-these-parade_1553361.png)

> [Look, we're Americans: optimistic, addicted to the quick fix, constantly on the hunt for the new and exotic. It's much easier for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/look-we-re-americans-optimistic-addicted-to-the-quick-fix-constantly/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/263/dennis-miller-1315_accepting_look-we-re-americans-optimistic-addicted_2704882.png)

> [A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/a-third-myth-is-that-men-think-that-women-like-guys-who-are-dangerous/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/390/dennis-miller-1315_cigarette_a-third-myth-is-that-men-think-that-wome_3166057.png)

## Other authors on Guy

## More by Dennis Miller

> [Laughter is one of the great beacons in life because we don't refract it by gunning it through our intellectual prism. What makes us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/laughter-is-one-of-the-great-beacons-in-life-because-we-don-t-refract/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/it-takes-zero-politically-correct-people-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/drop-the-veneer-periodically-and-be-like-ok-i-m-an-imperfect-human/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-m-left-on-a-lot-of-things-if-two-gay-guys-want-to-get-married-i/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/american-s-could-be-any-more-self-absorbed-if-they-were-made-of-equal/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/nowadays-with-history-not-being-taught-anymore-in-american-public/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-think-abortion-s-wrong-but-it-s-none-of-my-business-to-tell/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/americans-stick-their-nose-where-it-doesn-t-belong-more-than-cyrano/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/we-need-anything-politically-important-rationed-out-like-pez-small/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/dennis-kucinich-s-politics-are-more-scrambled-than-rod-steiger-s/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/somebody-call-janet-reno-i-think-i-just-saw-donato-dragging-doug/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-have-sympathy-for-any-human-being-that-s-driven-by-their-limbic/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-haven-t-seen-someone-so-overmatched-since-mike-tyson-tried-to/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [ There's a lot of differing data \[about global warming\], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/there-s-a-lot-of-differing-data-about-global-warming-but-as-far-as-i/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [The good thing about Pittsburgh, it's a good place to be raised... it doesn't tolerate assholes. You're either a good guy or you're a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-good-thing-about-pittsburgh-it-s-a-good-place-to-be-raised-it/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

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                        "text": "When the hell is Warren Moon going to retire? I mean, this guy is older than the cuneiform in Nebuchadnezzar's tomb.",
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                        "text": "I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from overseas wants to blow up their wedding, that's when I'm right.",
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                        "text": "The soldiers kill suicide bombers. Think about that. When a guys whole thing in life is to kill himself and you get there first... you are halling ass my friends.",
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                        "text": "I come from that earlier time in America when palm pilot was a nickname you recieved upon entering puberty! I was more than a palm pilot I was the palm Chuck Jager. Tom Wolfe wrote a book about me called The Right Hand Stuff. I was the only guy in my class hip enough to move to the European grip.",
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                        "text": "I'm sorry, those pictures from the Abu Ghraib. At first, they, like infuriated me, I was sad. Then like, a couple days later, after they cut the guy's head off, they didn't seem like much. And now, I like to trade them with my friends.",
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                        "text": "The good thing about Pittsburgh, it's a good place to be raised... it doesn't tolerate assholes. You're either a good guy or you're a bad guy... When I'm in Los Angeles having these incredibly surreal moments where nobody's saying anything and everybody's talking incessantly, I always have that Pittsburgh voice in my head - shut up, smile, get the job, move on.",
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                        "text": "It's a cocktail-party circuit in D.C., That guy who couldn't master the guitar and get in a band and get laid, he ends up there. Gary Condit make sense to me. He's away from his family, he's in D.C. - if he was a car dealer in the [San Fernando] Valley somewhere out there, he'd be the guy who was trying to get laid by offering you the free undercoating package.",
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                        "text": "My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I'm thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.",
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                        "text": "Forbes magazine has named Mel Gibson this year's most powerful celebrity. ... Forbes' least powerful celebrity? [Miller displayed the widely circulated image from the Lynndie England photographs of a hooded Iraqi prisoner with wires attached to his outstretched arms] You're looking at him. Screw this guy. ... [He's a] bad guy.",
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                        "text": "The second type you have at these parades seems to be the people who want to mislabel Hitler. Everybody in the world is Hitler. Bush is Hitler, Ashcroft is Hitler, Rumsfeld is Hitler. The only guy who isn't Hitler is the foreign guy with a mustache dropping people who disagree with him into the wood chipper. He's not Hitler.",
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                        "text": "Look, we're Americans: optimistic, addicted to the quick fix, constantly on the hunt for the new and exotic. It's much easier for us to accept a guy with a big white beard hawking his own custom blend of saw palmetto and squirrel dandruff that it is to hear a real doctor telling us to lay off the big macs, and get off our fat asses and take a walk every decade or so.",
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                        "text": "A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.",
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