---
title: "16 Guy Quotes By Darynda Jones"
description: "16 Guy quotes by Darynda Jones. Plus more from Darynda Jones and more Guy sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8b/darynda-jones-474_bad-guy_i-sort-of-got-off-on-making-bad-guys-swe_1281535.png"
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> [I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/i-sort-of-got-off-on-making-bad-guys-sweat-which-was-not-unlike-my/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8b/darynda-jones-474_bad-guy_i-sort-of-got-off-on-making-bad-guys-swe_1281535.png)

> [She still wasn't convinced. "So, if you were a guy, would you be into me?" "Hon, if I were a guy, I'd…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/she-still-wasn-t-convinced-so-if-you-were-a-guy-would-you-be-into-me/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c74/darynda-jones-474_convinced_she-still-wasn-t-convinced-so-if-you-wer_534715.png)

> [Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/surely-my-macking-on-some-guy-in-an-insane-asylum-wouldn-t-hurt-him/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/206/darynda-jones-474_asylum_surely-my-macking-on-some-guy-in-an-insa_2442405.png)

> [guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/guys-have-feelings-too-but-like-who-cares-inspirational-poster/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/82e/darynda-jones-474_care_guys-have-feelings-too-but-like-who-care_1961890.png)

> [A guy in an SUV tried to kill me.” “That’s strange.” “Why?” “Because the guy I hired doesn’t drive an SUV.” “That…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/a-guy-in-an-suv-tried-to-kill-me-that-s-strange-why-because-the-guy-i/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb0/darynda-jones-474_guy_a-guy-in-an-suv-tried-to-kill-me-that-s_1340875.png)

> [You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/you-take-everything-onto-your-shoulders-like-that-guy-who-holds-up/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ab/darynda-jones-474_guy_you-take-everything-onto-your-shoulders_2914873.png)

> [We stood there, the three of us, our jaws firmly planted on the floor. Aunt Lil recovered first. She nudged me with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/we-stood-there-the-three-of-us-our-jaws-firmly-planted-on-the-floor/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cfc/darynda-jones-474_aunt_we-stood-there-the-three-of-us-our-jaws_2557460.png)

> [You rented the apartment with a dead guy in the corner?” I shrugged. “I wanted the apartment, and I figured I could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/you-rented-the-apartment-with-a-dead-guy-in-the-corner-i-shrugged-i/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/22e/darynda-jones-474_apartment_you-rented-the-apartment-with-a-dead-guy_138112.png)

> [I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding." I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/i-have-three-words-for-you-emt-guy-said-possible-internal-bleeding-i/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/757/darynda-jones-474_bleeding_i-have-three-words-for-you-emt-guy-said_201.png)

> [For the first time in my life, I was in a shoot-out. A real, honest-to-goodness shoot-out with a bad guy. And, apparently,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/for-the-first-time-in-my-life-i-was-in-a-shoot-out-a-real-honest-to/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f63/darynda-jones-474_bad-guy_for-the-first-time-in-my-life-i-was-in-a_579245.png)

> [The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. “I can’t move my legs.” I snorted. “You can’t move your arms either,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/the-dead-guy-looked-at-me-with-wide-eyes-i-can-t-move-my-legs-i/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/258/darynda-jones-474_arms_the-dead-guy-looked-at-me-with-wide-eyes_3118070.png)

> [This guy in high school tried to run me over with his dad’s SUV. Bad shoved the vehicle through a store window.”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/this-guy-in-high-school-tried-to-run-me-over-with-his-dad-s-suv-bad/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d55/darynda-jones-474_dad_this-guy-in-high-school-tried-to-run-me_1557464.png)

> [Where have you been?" I stepped into my apartment and met Uncle Bob's glare with one of my own. "Out trying to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/where-have-you-been-i-stepped-into-my-apartment-and-met-uncle-bob-s/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f6/darynda-jones-474_apartment_where-have-you-been-i-stepped-into-my-ap_2954267.png)

> [I've been thinking," Brooklyn said as I gawked at the god sitting next to me, "if you get all lovey-dovey and decide…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/i-ve-been-thinking-brooklyn-said-as-i-gawked-at-the-god-sitting-next/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/17a/darynda-jones-474_brooklyn_i-ve-been-thinking-brooklyn-said-as-i-ga_1166279.jpg)

> [If Cameron kidnaps you, kills you, then buries your lifeless body in a shallow grave in the desert where your remains lay…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/if-cameron-kidnaps-you-kills-you-then-buries-your-lifeless-body-in-a/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d6/darynda-jones-474_body_if-cameron-kidnaps-you-kills-you-then-bu_1875472.jpg)

> [Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/hey-i-m-going-to-super-dog-for-a-quick-bite-and-to-pass-along-a/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ccc/darynda-jones-474_afternoon_hey-i-m-going-to-super-dog-for-a-quick-b_3123104.jpg)

## Other authors on Guy

## More by Darynda Jones

> [He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/he-bombarded-me-with-words-of-all-things-apparently-clueless-to-the/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding." I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I was bleeding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/i-have-three-words-for-you-emt-guy-said-possible-internal-bleeding-i/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/see-you-in-a-few-hold-down-the-fort-mr-wong/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/when-fighting-clowns-always-go-for-the-juggler/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/god-i-loved-sammy-i-d-considered-marrying-him-but-his-wife-got-upset/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“Oh, my god, I don't know. What do you want?" "You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/oh-my-god-i-don-t-know-what-do-you-want-you-he-said-his-voice/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“Las mujeres que se portan bien no suelen hacer historia.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/las-mujeres-que-se-portan-bien-no-suelen-hacer-historia/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“If ever there was a time to carry a flashlight, it would definitely be at night.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/if-ever-there-was-a-time-to-carry-a-flashlight-it-would-definitely-be/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [In three hundred feet, turn right," Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/in-three-hundred-feet-turn-right-darth-vader-said-the-darth-vader-i/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“The asshole slipped Peggy a five-spot to bring him his burger first. Never trust a man with a penis.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/the-asshole-slipped-peggy-a-five-spot-to-bring-him-his-burger-first/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“I reported to work the next morning looking like something the cat dragged in, half eaten yet somehow still alive.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/i-reported-to-work-the-next-morning-looking-like-something-the-cat/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/it-isn-t-the-fall-that-will-kill-you-but-the-sudden-stop/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“One day, I’m going to get to the bottom of you, Charley Davidson.” I had no idea she was into anal.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/one-day-i-m-going-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-you-charley-davidson-i-had/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“We should date." I laughed, curled him into my arms, and kissed the soft spot underneath his earlobe. "You're going to have to go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/we-should-date-i-laughed-curled-him-into-my-arms-and-kissed-the-soft/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“A girl, a mocha latte, and a naked dead man walk into a bar,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/a-girl-a-mocha-latte-and-a-naked-dead-man-walk-into-a-bar/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

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                        "text": "You rented the apartment with a dead guy in the corner?” I shrugged. “I wanted the apartment, and I figured I could cover him up with a bookcase or something.",
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                        "text": "I have three words for you,\" EMT Guy said. \"Possible internal bleeding.\" I turned back to him. \"Don't you think if I was bleeding internally, I'd know somewhere deep inside? Like, internally?",
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                        "text": "The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. “I can’t move my legs.” I snorted. “You can’t move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You’re dead.",
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                        "text": "This guy in high school tried to run me over with his dad’s SUV. Bad shoved the vehicle through a store window.” The memory brought a smile to my face.",
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                        "text": "Where have you been?\" I stepped into my apartment and met Uncle Bob's glare with one of my own. \"Out trying to pass myself off as a movie producer to get hot guys to sleep with me. Where have you been?",
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                        "text": "I've been thinking,\" Brooklyn said as I gawked at the god sitting next to me, \"if you get all lovey-dovey and decide to elope to Las Vegas where Jared uses his powers to clean up at the poker tables and you guys buy a mansion in the Manzano Mountains with twenty-seven rooms and decide - because you're rich and all - to buy a new computer, can I have your iMac then?\" \"Um, no, you're not getting my iMac.\" \"Dang.",
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                        "text": "If Cameron kidnaps you, kills you, then buries your lifeless body in a shallow grave in the desert where your remains lay decomposing for several decades until they're accidentally discovered by some guy on a journey to awaken his spirit at the Salinas Pueblo Missions, can I have your iMac?\" I gaped at her. \"You've really thought this out. \"I love your iMac.\" \"I love my iMac too, and you're not getting her.\" \"But you'll be decomposing.",
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                        "text": "Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me.\" \"I can't go with you.\" \"Is it because of my questionable morals?\" \"No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school.\" \"Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bother you?",
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