---
title: "7 Groucho Quotes By Groucho Marx"
description: "7 Groucho quotes by Groucho Marx. Plus more from Groucho Marx and more Groucho sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/02f/groucho-marx-788_accurate_he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-tr_22161.jpg"
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> [ He \[Groucho's father\] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-training-and-if-you-had-ever/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/02f/groucho-marx-788_accurate_he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-tr_22161.jpg)

> [No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend. I never forget a face, but in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/no-groucho-is-not-my-real-name-i-am-breaking-it-in-for-a-friend-i/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb7/groucho-marx-788_adverse_no-groucho-is-not-my-real-name-i-am-brea_807756.jpg)

> [ \[Mrs. Teasdale\]: He's had a change of heart. \[Groucho\]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/mrs-teasdale-he-s-had-a-change-of-heart-groucho-a-lot-of-good-that-ll/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/311/groucho-marx-788_change_mrs-teasdale-he-s-had-a-change-of-heart_1235981.jpg)

> [Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar" Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change." Chico: "I don't have change I'd have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/chico-here-s-the-book-it-s-a-dollar-groucho-here-s-a-ten-and-shoot/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/93e/groucho-marx-788_book_chico-here-s-the-book-it-s-a-dollar-grou_1547441.jpg)

> [Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world? Woman: Really? Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/groucho-you-know-i-think-you-re-the-most-beautiful-woman-in-the-world/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7b0/groucho-marx-788_beautiful_groucho-you-know-i-think-you-re-the-most_1808530.jpg)

> [No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/no-groucho-is-not-my-real-name-i-am-breaking-it-in-for-a-friend/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df3/groucho-marx-788_friendship_no-groucho-is-not-my-real-name-i-am-brea_2080754.jpg)

> [ He \[Groucho's father\] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-training-and-if-you-had-ever-2/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/472/groucho-marx-788_accurate_he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-tr_2679609.jpg)

## More by Groucho Marx

> [No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/no-one-is-completely-unhappy-at-the-failure-of-his-best-friend/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/there-is-no-sweeter-sound-than-the-crumbling-of-one-s-fellow-man/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/television-is-where-you-watch-people-in-your-living-room-that-you/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [ He \[Groucho's father\] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-training-and-if-you-had-ever/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [Women should be obscene and not heard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/women-should-be-obscene-and-not-heard/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/why-would-i-want-to-join-an-organization-that-would-encourage-people/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/you-re-the-most-beautiful-woman-i-ve-ever-seen-and-that-s-not-saying/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/the-only-game-i-like-to-play-is-old-maid-providing-she-s-not-too-old/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/who-are-you-going-to-believe-me-or-your-own-eyes/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/my-favourite-poem-is-the-one-that-starts-thirty-days-hath-september/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [Afraid? Me? A man who's licked his weight in wild caterpillars?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/afraid-me-a-man-who-s-licked-his-weight-in-wild-caterpillars/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [I hate London when it's not raining.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/i-hate-london-when-it-s-not-raining/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/i-never-forget-a-face-but-in-your-case-i-ll-be-glad-to-make-an/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/let-there-be-dancing-in-the-streets-drinking-in-the-saloons-and/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/if-women-dressed-for-men-the-stores-wouldn-t-sell-much-just-an/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

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