---
title: "630 Grandma Quotes by 497 authors"
description: "Browse 630 Grandma quotes by 497 authors. Discover the best Grandma sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/004/grandpa-57593_grandson_grandma-with-grandson-2085382_2085382.jpg"
---

> [Grandma with Grandson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/grandpa/grandma-with-grandson/)

[Grandpa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/grandpa/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/004/grandpa-57593_grandson_grandma-with-grandson-2085382_2085382.jpg)

> [That's wat my grandma says lao](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hahaha-lmao/that-s-wat-my-grandma-says-lao/)

Hahaha Lmao

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e4f/hahaha-lmao-241136_quote_that-s-wat-my-grandma-says-lao-1101957_1101957.jpg)

> [We have become a grandmother.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-thatcher/we-have-become-a-grandmother/)

[Margaret Thatcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-thatcher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/30e/margaret-thatcher-463_grandma_we-have-become-a-grandmother-1283598_1283598.jpg)

> [His face when he talks to grandma<333 :3](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/his-face/his-face-when-he-talks-to-grandma-333-3/)

His Face

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c1d/his-face-146349_my-little-man_his-face-when-he-talks-to-grandma-333-3_2010130.jpg)

> [“Play the tiles you get" -Grandma Nelly”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-j-palacio/play-the-tiles-you-get-grandma-nelly/)

[R.J. Palacio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-j-palacio/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd9/r-j-palacio-2789_grandma_play-the-tiles-you-get-grandma-nelly-984_984654.png)

> [Im beautiful? I get it from my granny..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mayra-galvan/im-beautiful-i-get-it-from-my-granny/)

[Mayra Galvan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mayra-galvan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df8/mayra-galvan-46468_beautiful_im-beautiful-i-get-it-from-my-granny-126_1267067.jpg)

> [My grandma was a ballerina.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kiersey-clemons/my-grandma-was-a-ballerina/)

[Kiersey Clemons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kiersey-clemons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/85d/kiersey-clemons-20082_ballerina_my-grandma-was-a-ballerina-785317_785317.jpg)

> [So many things we love are you!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-morrow-lindbergh/so-many-things-we-love-are-you/)

[Anne Morrow Lindbergh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-morrow-lindbergh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad2/anne-morrow-lindbergh-983_funny_so-many-things-we-love-are-you-2614114_2614114.png)

> [I just wanted to see how it felt to shoot Grandma.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edmund-kemper/i-just-wanted-to-see-how-it-felt-to-shoot-grandma/)

[Edmund Kemper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edmund-kemper/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/64c/edmund-kemper-41432_grandma_i-just-wanted-to-see-how-it-felt-to-shoo_716352.jpg)

> [I hope to be working and eating dessert at 93 just like my grandma.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-boston/i-hope-to-be-working-and-eating-dessert-at-93-just-like-my-grandma/)

[Rachel Boston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-boston/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c15/rachel-boston-17490_dessert_i-hope-to-be-working-and-eating-dessert_1019658.jpg)

> [I'm proud of my hands; they look like my grandma's.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/serinda-swan/i-m-proud-of-my-hands-they-look-like-my-grandma-s/)

[Serinda Swan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/serinda-swan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/65b/serinda-swan-16882_grandma_i-m-proud-of-my-hands-they-look-like-my_32107.jpg)

> [“Man, Grandma, what big hair you have." "The better to style with, my dear.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/man-grandma-what-big-hair-you-have-the-better-to-style-with-my-dear/)

[Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/63e/neal-shusterman-412_big-hair_man-grandma-what-big-hair-you-have-the-b_1496506.png)

> [Almost everybody I know has died,” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/almost-everybody-i-know-has-died-grandma-said-bunch-of-wimps/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8cd/janet-evanovich-291_bunch_almost-everybody-i-know-has-died-grandma_2577155.png)

> [HOW LONG IS THIS DORITOS COMMERCIAL!? Grandma, that's just Jersey Shore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/how-long-is-this-doritos-commercial-grandma-that-s-just-jersey-shore/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a38/anonymous-1_amazing_how-long-is-this-doritos-commercial-gran_1752331.jpg)

> [I would have wanted my mom to see me settle down and to be a grandma to my kids.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-dorff/i-would-have-wanted-my-mom-to-see-me-settle-down-and-to-be-a-grandma/)

[Stephen Dorff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-dorff/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e21/stephen-dorff-13120_down-and_i-would-have-wanted-my-mom-to-see-me-set_418908.jpg)

> [We believed in our grandmother’s cooking more fervently than we believed in God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/we-believed-in-our-grandmother-s-cooking-more-fervently-than-we/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2cd/jonathan-safran-foer-136_cooking_we-believed-in-our-grandmother-s-cooking_2200179.png)

> [“Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcy-demaree/grandma-always-made-you-feel-she-had-been-waiting-to-see-just-you-all/)

Marcy DeMaree

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/801/marcy-demaree-259476_quote_grandma-always-made-you-feel-she-had-bee_1081034.jpg)

> [During the day, I'm constantly reapplying hand cream. My grandma used to do it all the time, so maybe I got it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lily-collins/during-the-day-i-m-constantly-reapplying-hand-cream-my-grandma-used/)

[Lily Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lily-collins/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/348/lily-collins-1760_day_during-the-day-i-m-constantly-reapplying_2376769.jpg)

> [During my grandma's funeral, I looked over once and saw my mom crying, and I felt so bad for her.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kendra-wilkinson/during-my-grandma-s-funeral-i-looked-over-once-and-saw-my-mom-crying/)

[Kendra Wilkinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kendra-wilkinson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/870/kendra-wilkinson-3750_bad_during-my-grandma-s-funeral-i-looked-ove_2926304.jpg)

> [I remember watching 'Apollo' with my other grandma - I have so many grandmas - and seeing these young girls sing... I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ari-lennox/i-remember-watching-apollo-with-my-other-grandma-i-have-so-many/)

[Ari Lennox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ari-lennox/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d33/ari-lennox-14093_moment_i-remember-watching-apollo-with-my-other_1396499.jpg)

> [“Like my grandpa used to say - if everybody liked the same thing, they'd all be after your grandma.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brett-bydairk/like-my-grandpa-used-to-say-if-everybody-liked-the-same-thing-they-d/)

Brett Bydairk

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/998/brett-bydairk-224443_quote_like-my-grandpa-used-to-say-if-everybody_1158557.jpg)

> [My mother was really quick. My grandma was really quick and my father was quick, but not so quick.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erling-haaland/my-mother-was-really-quick-my-grandma-was-really-quick-and-my-father/)

[Erling Haaland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erling-haaland/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f4/erling-haaland-6632_father_my-mother-was-really-quick-my-grandma-wa_1168914.jpg)

> [“Lula leaned forward so she could whisper. “You talking about size? Was your man’s part that big?” “Heck no,” Grandma said. “His…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/lula-leaned-forward-so-she-could-whisper-you-talking-about-size-was/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ca/janet-evanovich-291_grandma_lula-leaned-forward-so-she-could-whisper_968264.png)

> [My grandma was a child of the Depression, and knew the tragedy of having her home outside Diller was destroyed by a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-sasse/my-grandma-was-a-child-of-the-depression-and-knew-the-tragedy-of/)

[Ben Sasse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-sasse/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8aa/ben-sasse-4268_children_my-grandma-was-a-child-of-the-depression_3113681.jpg)

> [I love the simplicity, the ingredients, the culture, the history and the seasonality of Italian cuisine. In Italy people do not travel.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-burrell/i-love-the-simplicity-the-ingredients-the-culture-the-history-and-the/)

[Anne Burrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-burrell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2fe/anne-burrell-16210_available_i-love-the-simplicity-the-ingredients-th_2134358.jpg)

> [My family always says my voice is a gift—a precious jewel I inherited from my maternal grandma, Julia Kate Hudson. My sister…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-hudson/my-family-always-says-my-voice-is-a-gift-a-precious-jewel-i-inherited/)

[Jennifer Hudson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-hudson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/524/jennifer-hudson-3443_family_my-family-always-says-my-voice-is-a-gift_1297418.jpg)

> [And he isn't crying for her, not for his grandma, he's crying for himself: that he: too, is going to die one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/and-he-isn-t-crying-for-her-not-for-his-grandma-he-s-crying-for/)

[Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cdb/nicole-krauss-920_bitter_and-he-isn-t-crying-for-her-not-for-his_2026188.jpg)

> [Sadly, some folks want others to feel their pain, to hurt as much as they do-or more. My grandmother once told me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/walter-inglis-anderson/sadly-some-folks-want-others-to-feel-their-pain-to-hurt-as-much-as/)

[Walter Inglis Anderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/walter-inglis-anderson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/21f/walter-inglis-anderson-25941_advice_sadly-some-folks-want-others-to-feel-the_1800426.jpg)

> [Some people will have working-class, front-room grandma taste that is better than other people's. I went to stately homes that are a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/grayson-perry/some-people-will-have-working-class-front-room-grandma-taste-that-is/)

[Grayson Perry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/grayson-perry/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b64/grayson-perry-3535_better_some-people-will-have-working-class-fron_180629.png)

> [“How'd you know that would help, Grandma? Used to have a regular who had attacks like that all the time. Poor guy.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-leblanc/how-d-you-know-that-would-help-grandma-used-to-have-a-regular-who-had/)

Jennifer LeBlanc

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62b/jennifer-leblanc-76327_anxiety_how-d-you-know-that-would-help-grandma-u_85267.jpg)

> [“It was mesmerizing,” Grandma said. “It was like staring into the eye of a cobra. I don’t care if I do anything…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/it-was-mesmerizing-grandma-said-it-was-like-staring-into-the-eye-of-a/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c12/janet-evanovich-291_bucket-list_it-was-mesmerizing-grandma-said-it-was-l_706105.png)

> [I got a great grandma. Her name is Pearl, and she was at one time married to an Indian chief, who, in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eddie-vedder/i-got-a-great-grandma-her-name-is-pearl-and-she-was-at-one-time/)

[Eddie Vedder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eddie-vedder/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/649/eddie-vedder-2057_chiefs_i-got-a-great-grandma-her-name-is-pearl_1274901.png)

> [Deep patriots don't just sing the song, 'America the Beautiful' and then go home. We actually stick around to defend America’s beauty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/van-jones/deep-patriots-don-t-just-sing-the-song-america-the-beautiful-and-then/)

[Van Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/van-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cc2/van-jones-984_america_deep-patriots-don-t-just-sing-the-song-a_1313652.png)

> [Standing Here My entire world far beneath my feet, I should be filled with pride. Instead, I feel overwhelmed by a sense…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-hopkins/standing-here-my-entire-world-far-beneath-my-feet-i-should-be-filled/)

[Ellen Hopkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-hopkins/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/700/ellen-hopkins-475_air_standing-here-my-entire-world-far-beneat_3129820.jpg)

> [ He \[Ranger\] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/he-ranger-stopped-in-front-of-my-parents-house-and-we-both-looked-to/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/248/janet-evanovich-291_babe_he-ranger-stopped-in-front-of-my-parents_2142810.png)

> [“Grandpa, in his male armchair, deaf aid occasionally whistling and pipe making a hubble-bubble noise as he sucked on it, would shake…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julian-barnes/grandpa-in-his-male-armchair-deaf-aid-occasionally-whistling-and-pipe/)

[Julian Barnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julian-barnes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e74/julian-barnes-522_daily-work_grandpa-in-his-male-armchair-deaf-aid-oc_274950.png)

> [Although Grandma's passion had led me to the power of food, not all of her recipes were healthy. I kept her gusto…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kris-carr/although-grandma-s-passion-had-led-me-to-the-power-of-food-not-all-of/)

[Kris Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kris-carr/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/479/kris-carr-7216_addiction_although-grandma-s-passion-had-led-me-to_662095.jpg)

> [“You know the one about the old man whose grandson is getting married? Just before the wedding, he calls the boy in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-manette-ansay/you-know-the-one-about-the-old-man-whose-grandson-is-getting-married/)

[A. Manette Ansay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-manette-ansay/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b8b/a-manette-ansay-44525_getting-married_you-know-the-one-about-the-old-man-whose_1710923.jpg)

> [The groove is so mysterious. We're born with it and we lose it and the world seems to split apart before our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lynda-barry/the-groove-is-so-mysterious-we-re-born-with-it-and-we-lose-it-and-the/)

[Lynda Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lynda-barry/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/371/lynda-barry-3343_baby_the-groove-is-so-mysterious-we-re-born-w_3126032.jpg)

> [It was an emergency!" Seth blurted. "Read my lips - emergency reading - not some demented idea of fun. If I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-mull/it-was-an-emergency-seth-blurted-read-my-lips-emergency-reading-not/)

[Brandon Mull](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-mull/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c63/brandon-mull-1617_appetite_it-was-an-emergency-seth-blurted-read-my_2520403.png)

## Top authors on Grandma

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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Im beautiful? I get it from my granny..",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "My grandma was a ballerina.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I just wanted to see how it felt to shoot Grandma.",
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                        "text": "I hope to be working and eating dessert at 93 just like my grandma.",
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                        "text": "I'm proud of my hands; they look like my grandma's.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Man, Grandma, what big hair you have.\" \"The better to style with, my dear.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Almost everybody I know has died,” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "HOW LONG IS THIS DORITOS COMMERCIAL!? Grandma, that's just Jersey Shore",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I would have wanted my mom to see me settle down and to be a grandma to my kids.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "We believed in our grandmother’s cooking more fervently than we believed in God.",
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                        "text": "“Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete.”",
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                        "text": "During the day, I'm constantly reapplying hand cream. My grandma used to do it all the time, so maybe I got it from her.",
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                        "text": "During my grandma's funeral, I looked over once and saw my mom crying, and I felt so bad for her.",
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                        "text": "I remember watching 'Apollo' with my other grandma - I have so many grandmas - and seeing these young girls sing... I knew in that moment that I wanted to sing.",
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                        "text": "“Like my grandpa used to say - if everybody liked the same thing, they'd all be after your grandma.”",
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                        "text": "My mother was really quick. My grandma was really quick and my father was quick, but not so quick.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Lula leaned forward so she could whisper. “You talking about size? Was your man’s part that big?” “Heck no,” Grandma said. “His part was that dead.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "My grandma was a child of the Depression, and knew the tragedy of having her home outside Diller was destroyed by a tornado.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I love the simplicity, the ingredients, the culture, the history and the seasonality of Italian cuisine. In Italy people do not travel. They cook the way grandma did, using fresh ingredients and what is available in season.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "My family always says my voice is a gift—a precious jewel I inherited from my maternal grandma, Julia Kate Hudson. My sister and I used to joke that the 'Kates' in our family got all the talent.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "And he isn't crying for her, not for his grandma, he's crying for himself: that he: too, is going to die one day. And before that his friends wil die, and the friends of his friends, and, as time passes, the children of his friends, and, if his fate is truly bitter, his own children. (58)",
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                            "name": "Nicole Krauss"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Sadly, some folks want others to feel their pain, to hurt as much as they do-or more. My grandmother once told me to avoid colds and angry people whenever I could. It's sound advice.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Walter Inglis Anderson"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Some people will have working-class, front-room grandma taste that is better than other people's. I went to stately homes that are a bit duff, and stately homes that were absolutely eye-popping.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Grayson Perry"
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                            "caption": "“Some people will have working-class, front-room grandma taste that is better than other people's. I went to…” — Grayson Perry",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“How'd you know that would help, Grandma? Used to have a regular who had attacks like that all the time. Poor guy. He was an accountant, loveless marriage-most of em were back then-and vaginas scared the bejeezus outta him.”",
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                            "name": "Jennifer LeBlanc"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“It was mesmerizing,” Grandma said. “It was like staring into the eye of a cobra. I don’t care if I do anything else on the bucket list. This was awesome. It was like a biblical experience.”",
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                            "caption": "“It was mesmerizing,” Grandma said. “It was like staring into the eye of a cobra. I don’t care if I do…” — Janet Evanovich",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I got a great grandma. Her name is Pearl, and she was at one time married to an Indian chief, who, in a wonderful crossing of cultures, she integrated some of his, and some of hers, and um, it was a combination of peyote and preserves, and it was this hallucinogenic jam.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Deep patriots don't just sing the song, 'America the Beautiful' and then go home. We actually stick around to defend America’s beauty -- from the oil spillers, the clear-cutters and the mountaintop removers. Deep patriots don't just visit the Statue of Liberty and send a postcard home to grandma. We defend the principles upon which that great monument was founded -- 'give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.'",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Standing Here My entire world far beneath my feet, I should be filled with pride. Instead, I feel overwhelmed by a sense of defeat. Suddenly it comes to me, toes tempted to test the ledge, that there is a way out of this. Clam surety flows through my veins, and as I turn to wave good-bye, I wonder if it will hurt or if a single person will cry at my funeral. I take a deep breath, a final taste of sweet mountain air. I conjure Leona, Emily. Move my feet closer. Closer There's Grandma One, Grandma Two, and their spouses, waiting for me. I see Dad. Cara. Mommy. I screw up my courage, step over",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were standing there, watching us. \"I'm not sure I feel comfortable about the way your grandma looks at me,\" Ranger said. [Stephanie] \"She wants to see you naked.\" \"I wish you hadn't told me that, babe.\" \"Everyone I know wants to see you naked.\" \"And you?\" \"Never crossed my mind.\" I held my breath when I said it, and I hoped God wouldn't stike me down dead for lying.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Grandpa, in his male armchair, deaf aid occasionally whistling and pipe making a hubble-bubble noise as he sucked on it, would shake his head over DAILY EXPRESS, which described to him a world where truth and justice were constantly imperilled by the Communist Threat. In her softer, female armchair - in the red corner - Grandma would tut-tut away over DAILY WORKER, which described to her a world where truth and justice, in their updated versions, were constantly imperilled by Capitalism and Imperialism.”",
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                        "text": "Although Grandma's passion had led me to the power of food, not all of her recipes were healthy. I kept her gusto and the love that she put into her cuisine but ditched the ingredients that bought her a one-way ticket to arthritis, diverticulitis and a host of other inflammatory conditions. I also ditched my own addictions and compulsions around food, especially sugar.",
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                        "text": "“You know the one about the old man whose grandson is getting married? Just before the wedding, he calls the boy in for a chat. “My child,” he says, “I want you to know that all marriages go through phases. At first, you and you wife will make love all the time. But then, as the children come along, you will find that you are having sex less and less. And by the time they are grown and gone, you’ll be just like your grandmother and me. All you’ll ever have is oral sex. I just wanted you to know how things will go.” The boy looks at him, incredulous. “You and Grandma have oral sex?” “Every single night,” the old man says, “and it’s a perfectly natural thing. She goes into her bedroom and calls, ‘Fuck you!’ And I go into my bedroom and call back to her, ‘No, fuck you!”",
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                        "text": "The groove is so mysterious. We're born with it and we lose it and the world seems to split apart before our eyes into stupid and cool. When we get it back, the world unifies around us, and both stupid and cool fall away. I am grateful to those who are keepers of the groove. The babies and the grandmas who hang on to it and help us remember when we forget that any kind of dancing is better than no dancing at all.",
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                        "text": "It was an emergency!\" Seth blurted. \"Read my lips - emergency reading - not some demented idea of fun. If I was starving, I would eat asparagus. If somebody held a gun to my head, I would watch a soap opera. And to save Fablehaven, I would read a book, okay, are you happy?\" You had best be careful, Seth,\" Grandma warned. \"The love of reading can be contagious.\" I just lost my appetite,\" he declared...",
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