--- title: "3 Got Bartender Quotes by 2 authors" description: "Browse 3 Got Bartender quotes by 2 authors. Discover the best Got Bartender sayings and thoughts." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be8/john-green-12_cancer_she-wasn-t-a-particularly-funny-person-i_1589406.jpg" --- > [“She wasn't a particularly funny person. It suited her professionally - I mean, you don't want your cancer surgeon to walk into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/she-wasn-t-a-particularly-funny-person-it-suited-her-professionally-i/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be8/john-green-12_cancer_she-wasn-t-a-particularly-funny-person-i_1589406.jpg) > [Tobin," Mom said disapprovingly. She wasn't a particularly funny person. It suited her professionally - I mean, you don't want your cancer…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/tobin-mom-said-disapprovingly-she-wasn-t-a-particularly-funny-person/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d55/john-green-12_bars_tobin-mom-said-disapprovingly-she-wasn-t_2899956.jpg) > [“Ha! Listen, this guy walks into a bar, with a shopping bag, right? He sits down, puts the bag on the bar.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-alanson/ha-listen-this-guy-walks-into-a-bar-with-a-shopping-bag-right-he-sits/) [Craig Alanson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-alanson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4f1/craig-alanson-17860_bartender_ha-listen-this-guy-walks-into-a-bar-with_3103754.jpg) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/got-bartender/#itemlist", "name": "Got Bartender Quotes", "numberOfItems": 3, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“She wasn't a particularly funny person. It suited her professionally - I mean, you don't want your cancer surgeon to walk into the examination room and be like, \"Guy walks into a bar. Bartender says, 'What'll ya have?' And the guy says, 'Whaddaya got?' And the bartender says, 'I don't know what I got, but I know what you got: Stage IV melanoma.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "John Green" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/she-wasn-t-a-particularly-funny-person-it-suited-her-professionally-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be8/john-green-12_cancer_she-wasn-t-a-particularly-funny-person-i_1589406.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be8/john-green-12_cancer_she-wasn-t-a-particularly-funny-person-i_1589406.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be8/john-green-12_cancer_she-wasn-t-a-particularly-funny-person-i_1589406.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“She wasn't a particularly funny person. 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And the bartender says, 'I don't know what I got, but I know what you got: Stage IV melanoma.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "John Green" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/tobin-mom-said-disapprovingly-she-wasn-t-a-particularly-funny-person/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d55/john-green-12_bars_tobin-mom-said-disapprovingly-she-wasn-t_2899956.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d55/john-green-12_bars_tobin-mom-said-disapprovingly-she-wasn-t_2899956.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d55/john-green-12_bars_tobin-mom-said-disapprovingly-she-wasn-t_2899956.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Tobin,\" Mom said disapprovingly. She wasn't a particularly funny person. It suited her professionally - I…” — John Green", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Ha! Listen, this guy walks into a bar, with a shopping bag, right? He sits down, puts the bag on the bar. Something in the bag is moving, and the bartender says ‘Hey, buddy, no animals in here’. You with me, Jones?” “Yah.” “The guy is looking real unhappy, totally down in the dumps, he reaches in the bag. He pulls out a brass lantern, then a small piano, a little stool, and finally a little guy in a tuxedo, about a foot tall. The little guy sits on the stool and starts playing the piano. Playing the piano, right?” “Yah. Got, it.” “Bartender says,” Williams’ grasp on a handhold slipped for a heart-stopping moment before the suit gloves restored their sticky grip. He could see the problem was some sort of fluid leaking from the access hatch above had coated the handhold. He moved his hand to the left to avoid the slippery fluid, and continued climbing down. “Bartender says, ‘That’s amazing, where’d you get him?’ Guy points to the lamp. ‘Magic genie granted me a wish, But he don’t hear so well-’ Before the guy can stop him, the bartender grabs the lamp, rubs it and shouts ‘I want a million bucks!’. POOF! The bar is filled with ducks! Ducks everywhere, under the tables, in the street outside, feathers flying all over the place. The bartender says ‘What the hell?’ So the guy says ‘I told you the genie don’t hear so well. 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