--- title: "12 Get Quotes By Mike Birbiglia" description: "12 Get quotes by Mike Birbiglia. Plus more from Mike Birbiglia and more Get sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cf/mike-birbiglia-1343_food_the-moment-i-walk-into-a-room-i-have-kin_2921187.png" --- > [The moment I walk into a room, I have kind of like the Terminator's tracking system for where the food is, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/the-moment-i-walk-into-a-room-i-have-kind-of-like-the-terminator-s/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cf/mike-birbiglia-1343_food_the-moment-i-walk-into-a-room-i-have-kin_2921187.png) > [You know the quickest way to get comedians to hate you? Do Letterman at age 24.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/you-know-the-quickest-way-to-get-comedians-to-hate-you-do-letterman/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2dc/mike-birbiglia-1343_age_you-know-the-quickest-way-to-get-comedia_1217704.png) > [I never looked at my parents' marriage or really anyone who had been married more than 30 years and thought, 'I gotta…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/i-never-looked-at-my-parents-marriage-or-really-anyone-who-had-been/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfd/mike-birbiglia-1343_anyone_i-never-looked-at-my-parents-marriage-or_3133050.png) > [When I started out, I really struggled as a comic because no one knew who I was, and sometimes I was telling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/when-i-started-out-i-really-struggled-as-a-comic-because-no-one-knew/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/364/mike-birbiglia-1343_because_when-i-started-out-i-really-struggled-as_372481.png) > [It's a difficult line to tread, where sometimes you go to the movies or you watch someone do publicity for movies or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/it-s-a-difficult-line-to-tread-where-sometimes-you-go-to-the-movies/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/190/mike-birbiglia-1343_about_it-s-a-difficult-line-to-tread-where-som_2044537.jpg) > [Every sleep doctor I've talked to said it was an urban legend that you shouldn't wake up a sleepwalker. All that will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/every-sleep-doctor-i-ve-talked-to-said-it-was-an-urban-legend-that/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/24c/mike-birbiglia-1343_doctor_every-sleep-doctor-i-ve-talked-to-said-i_2000645.jpg) > [I was completely unqualified to get into Harvard. But then I went to my interview for Harvard, and the woman asked, 'Why…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/i-was-completely-unqualified-to-get-into-harvard-but-then-i-went-to/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/536/mike-birbiglia-1343_asked_i-was-completely-unqualified-to-get-into_1461626.png) > [I got out of school in 2000, and I always wanted to be on 'This American Life,' since I first started telling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/i-got-out-of-school-in-2000-and-i-always-wanted-to-be-on-this/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c6/mike-birbiglia-1343_always_i-got-out-of-school-in-2000-and-i-always_827941.jpg) > [I think that my regrets mostly have to do with my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Every once in a while, you get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/i-think-that-my-regrets-mostly-have-to-do-with-my-relationship-with/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b04/mike-birbiglia-1343_communication_i-think-that-my-regrets-mostly-have-to-d_1253349.jpg) > [You get to the end of something, you're laughing, you're like, 'That's funny, and that's funny,' and then you get to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/you-get-to-the-end-of-something-you-re-laughing-you-re-like-that-s/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f93/mike-birbiglia-1343_come_you-get-to-the-end-of-something-you-re-l_2704541.jpg) > [When I wrote the screenplay for 'Sleepwalk with Me,' I was imagining that another person would direct it. So I was using…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/when-i-wrote-the-screenplay-for-sleepwalk-with-me-i-was-imagining/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bc/mike-birbiglia-1343_amateur_when-i-wrote-the-screenplay-for-sleepwal_3050059.png) > [Directing a movie is a little bit like being back in student government and putting on the homecoming dance. You're like, 'You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/directing-a-movie-is-a-little-bit-like-being-back-in-student/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/589/mike-birbiglia-1343_awesome_directing-a-movie-is-a-little-bit-like-b_2474008.png) ## Other authors on Get ## More by Mike Birbiglia > [So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal' and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/so-i-went-to-a-club-the-other-day-which-is-timely-because-my-self/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) > [My writing process is very feedback-based. When I do stand-up, I listen to the audience. I try to understand what's connecting, what's not connecting,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/my-writing-process-is-very-feedback-based-when-i-do-stand-up-i-listen/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) > [I've actually always wanted to write like a one-person show that was sort of a romantic comedy - a show that was kind of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/i-ve-actually-always-wanted-to-write-like-a-one-person-show-that-was/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) > [It's interesting how sleepwalking in a certain way becomes an accumulation of your outside stimuli that's actually there and what's happening in your brain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/it-s-interesting-how-sleepwalking-in-a-certain-way-becomes-an/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) > [I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, "We found…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/i-went-to-the-doctor-and-they-found-something-in-my-bladder-and/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) > [Bears are simultaneously so graceful and so strong. Bears know who they are, but they often don’t know who you are, which is why…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/bears-are-simultaneously-so-graceful-and-so-strong-bears-know-who/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) > [Once you start writing something obsessively, it's almost like someone has to rip it from your hands in order for you to put it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/once-you-start-writing-something-obsessively-it-s-almost-like-someone/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) > [I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/i-always-try-to-attack-the-most-honest-issues-i-can-in-my-comedy/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) > [The list of fun and easily fixed brain diseases is very short.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/the-list-of-fun-and-easily-fixed-brain-diseases-is-very-short/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) > [When I met my wife, I was a working comic, so the first week we went out, she saw me perform, and it was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/when-i-met-my-wife-i-was-a-working-comic-so-the-first-week-we-went/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) > [I think because I've been working in front of audiences for so many years, I'm able to take in the input, good or bad,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/i-think-because-i-ve-been-working-in-front-of-audiences-for-so-many/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) > [Directing your first film is like showing up to the field trip in seventh grade, getting on the bus, and making an announcement, 'So…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/directing-your-first-film-is-like-showing-up-to-the-field-trip-in/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) > [Media is so weird; everything is so accessible now. It used to be this thing where, if you did something on 'This American Life,'…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/media-is-so-weird-everything-is-so-accessible-now-it-used-to-be-this/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) > [As artists, we'd all love to not be commercial - to not sell out to the full extent that we are able. But you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/as-artists-we-d-all-love-to-not-be-commercial-to-not-sell-out-to-the/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) > [Comedy is tragedy plus time, but the time is different for everybody.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/comedy-is-tragedy-plus-time-but-the-time-is-different-for-everybody/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/get/mike-birbiglia/#itemlist", "name": "12 Get Quotes By Mike Birbiglia", "numberOfItems": 12, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The moment I walk into a room, I have kind of like the Terminator's tracking system for where the food is, and I can get there immediately.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mike Birbiglia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/the-moment-i-walk-into-a-room-i-have-kind-of-like-the-terminator-s/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cf/mike-birbiglia-1343_food_the-moment-i-walk-into-a-room-i-have-kin_2921187.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cf/mike-birbiglia-1343_food_the-moment-i-walk-into-a-room-i-have-kin_2921187.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cf/mike-birbiglia-1343_food_the-moment-i-walk-into-a-room-i-have-kin_2921187.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The moment I walk into a room, I have kind of like the Terminator's tracking system for where the food is…” — Mike Birbiglia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You know the quickest way to get comedians to hate you? 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I'm not that psyched about it.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mike Birbiglia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/it-s-a-difficult-line-to-tread-where-sometimes-you-go-to-the-movies/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/190/mike-birbiglia-1343_about_it-s-a-difficult-line-to-tread-where-som_2044537.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/190/mike-birbiglia-1343_about_it-s-a-difficult-line-to-tread-where-som_2044537.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/190/mike-birbiglia-1343_about_it-s-a-difficult-line-to-tread-where-som_2044537.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It's a difficult line to tread, where sometimes you go to the movies or you watch someone do publicity for…” — Mike Birbiglia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Every sleep doctor I've talked to said it was an urban legend that you shouldn't wake up a sleepwalker. All that will happen is that you will get condescended to.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mike Birbiglia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/every-sleep-doctor-i-ve-talked-to-said-it-was-an-urban-legend-that/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/24c/mike-birbiglia-1343_doctor_every-sleep-doctor-i-ve-talked-to-said-i_2000645.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/24c/mike-birbiglia-1343_doctor_every-sleep-doctor-i-ve-talked-to-said-i_2000645.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/24c/mike-birbiglia-1343_doctor_every-sleep-doctor-i-ve-talked-to-said-i_2000645.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Every sleep doctor I've talked to said it was an urban legend that you shouldn't wake up a sleepwalker. All…” — Mike Birbiglia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I was completely unqualified to get into Harvard. But then I went to my interview for Harvard, and the woman asked, 'Why do you want to go here?' And I took out all of my comedy writing samples that I had done. I couldn't have been more delusional in terms of what I thought they wanted in a candidate for college.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mike Birbiglia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/i-was-completely-unqualified-to-get-into-harvard-but-then-i-went-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/536/mike-birbiglia-1343_asked_i-was-completely-unqualified-to-get-into_1461626.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/536/mike-birbiglia-1343_asked_i-was-completely-unqualified-to-get-into_1461626.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/536/mike-birbiglia-1343_asked_i-was-completely-unqualified-to-get-into_1461626.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I was completely unqualified to get into Harvard. But then I went to my interview for Harvard, and the woman…” — Mike Birbiglia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I got out of school in 2000, and I always wanted to be on 'This American Life,' since I first started telling stories. And that, I mean, that show is a little bit of a fortress. It's really hard to get stuff on that show.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mike Birbiglia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/i-got-out-of-school-in-2000-and-i-always-wanted-to-be-on-this/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c6/mike-birbiglia-1343_always_i-got-out-of-school-in-2000-and-i-always_827941.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c6/mike-birbiglia-1343_always_i-got-out-of-school-in-2000-and-i-always_827941.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c6/mike-birbiglia-1343_always_i-got-out-of-school-in-2000-and-i-always_827941.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I got out of school in 2000, and I always wanted to be on 'This American Life,' since I first started…” — Mike Birbiglia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I think that my regrets mostly have to do with my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Every once in a while, you get those flashback memories of conversations you had with your exes, and you just, like, wince when you're walking down the street. Something occurs to you, 'Oh, no, I said that.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mike Birbiglia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/i-think-that-my-regrets-mostly-have-to-do-with-my-relationship-with/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b04/mike-birbiglia-1343_communication_i-think-that-my-regrets-mostly-have-to-d_1253349.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b04/mike-birbiglia-1343_communication_i-think-that-my-regrets-mostly-have-to-d_1253349.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b04/mike-birbiglia-1343_communication_i-think-that-my-regrets-mostly-have-to-d_1253349.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I think that my regrets mostly have to do with my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Every once in a while…” — Mike Birbiglia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You get to the end of something, you're laughing, you're like, 'That's funny, and that's funny,' and then you get to the end, and the credits come down, and you're like, 'That's it?! That's the whole thing?! You had me here for that?!' I just don't want to do that.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mike Birbiglia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/you-get-to-the-end-of-something-you-re-laughing-you-re-like-that-s/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f93/mike-birbiglia-1343_come_you-get-to-the-end-of-something-you-re-l_2704541.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f93/mike-birbiglia-1343_come_you-get-to-the-end-of-something-you-re-l_2704541.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f93/mike-birbiglia-1343_come_you-get-to-the-end-of-something-you-re-l_2704541.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You get to the end of something, you're laughing, you're like, 'That's funny, and that's funny,' and then…” — Mike Birbiglia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When I wrote the screenplay for 'Sleepwalk with Me,' I was imagining that another person would direct it. So I was using all my undergraduate film writing amateur expertise of 'don't direct on the page' because someone else was going to direct this. And then I ended up being in a situation where I couldn't get it financed at a micro-studio level.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mike Birbiglia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/when-i-wrote-the-screenplay-for-sleepwalk-with-me-i-was-imagining/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bc/mike-birbiglia-1343_amateur_when-i-wrote-the-screenplay-for-sleepwal_3050059.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bc/mike-birbiglia-1343_amateur_when-i-wrote-the-screenplay-for-sleepwal_3050059.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bc/mike-birbiglia-1343_amateur_when-i-wrote-the-screenplay-for-sleepwal_3050059.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When I wrote the screenplay for 'Sleepwalk with Me,' I was imagining that another person would direct it. So…” — Mike Birbiglia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Directing a movie is a little bit like being back in student government and putting on the homecoming dance. You're like, 'You put up the streamers, and you hire the DJ, and you get the punch bowl.' Some people are just like, 'This dance sucks.' And you're like, 'No no, this dance is awesome!' You have to be really positive.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mike Birbiglia" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/directing-a-movie-is-a-little-bit-like-being-back-in-student/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/589/mike-birbiglia-1343_awesome_directing-a-movie-is-a-little-bit-like-b_2474008.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/589/mike-birbiglia-1343_awesome_directing-a-movie-is-a-little-bit-like-b_2474008.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/589/mike-birbiglia-1343_awesome_directing-a-movie-is-a-little-bit-like-b_2474008.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Directing a movie is a little bit like being back in student government and putting on the homecoming dance…” — Mike Birbiglia", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/get/mike-birbiglia/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/get/mike-birbiglia/", "name": "Get Quotes by Mike Birbiglia", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/get/mike-birbiglia/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cf/mike-birbiglia-1343_food_the-moment-i-walk-into-a-room-i-have-kin_2921187.png" }, "description": "12 Get quotes by Mike Birbiglia. 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