---
title: "56 Funny golfing Quotes by 43 authors"
description: "Browse 56 Funny golfing quotes by 43 authors. Discover the best Funny golfing sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f0/peter-dobereiner-59826_fun_half-of-golf-is-fun-the-other-half-is-pu_389446.jpg"
---

> [Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-dobereiner/half-of-golf-is-fun-the-other-half-is-putting/)

[Peter Dobereiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-dobereiner/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f0/peter-dobereiner-59826_fun_half-of-golf-is-fun-the-other-half-is-pu_389446.jpg)

> [Luck is predictable; the harder you work, the luckier you get.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-tracy/luck-is-predictable-the-harder-you-work-the-luckier-you-get/)

[Brian Tracy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-tracy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/316/brian-tracy-216_bodybuilding_luck-is-predictable-the-harder-you-work_935977.jpg)

> [My father's saying, The harder you work, the luckier you get.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fiona-wood/my-father-s-saying-the-harder-you-work-the-luckier-you-get/)

[Fiona Wood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fiona-wood/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0e0/fiona-wood-22328_bodybuilding_my-father-s-saying-the-harder-you-work-t_2001742.png)

> [May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-hogan/may-thy-ball-lie-in-green-pastures-and-not-in-still-waters/)

[Ben Hogan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-hogan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/940/ben-hogan-10856_ball_may-thy-ball-lie-in-green-pastures-and-n_2376011.png)

> [The woods are full of long drivers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harvey-penick/the-woods-are-full-of-long-drivers/)

[Harvey Penick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harvey-penick/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c76/harvey-penick-22919_drivers_the-woods-are-full-of-long-drivers-19664_1966458.png)

> [The harder you work, the luckier you become.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-karcher/the-harder-you-work-the-luckier-you-become/)

[Carl Karcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-karcher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/661/carl-karcher-36947_bodybuilding_the-harder-you-work-the-luckier-you-beco_3041064.png)

> [Baseball reveals character; golf exposes it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernie-banks/baseball-reveals-character-golf-exposes-it/)

[Ernie Banks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernie-banks/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d2b/ernie-banks-21240_baseball_baseball-reveals-character-golf-exposes_348047.png)

> [My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/keith-michael/my-body-is-here-but-my-mind-has-already-teed-off/)

[Keith Michael](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/keith-michael/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/18d/keith-michael-53597_body_my-body-is-here-but-my-mind-has-already_198548.jpg)

> [Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/earl-wilson/golf-is-a-lot-of-walking-broken-up-by-disappointment-and-bad/)

[Earl Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/earl-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5a/earl-wilson-12541_arithmetic_golf-is-a-lot-of-walking-broken-up-by-di_3122082.png)

> [My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-robertson-baron-robertson-of-port-ellen/my-favorite-shots-are-the-practice-swing-and-the-conceded-putt-the/)

[George Robertson, Baron Robertson of Port Ellen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-robertson-baron-robertson-of-port-ellen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/def/george-robertson-baron-roberts_conceded_my-favorite-shots-are-the-practice-swing_491189.png)

> [I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chi-chi-rodriguez/i-don-t-fear-death-but-i-sure-don-t-like-those-three-footers-for-par/)

[Chi Chi Rodriguez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chi-chi-rodriguez/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/052/chi-chi-rodriguez-11677_death_i-don-t-fear-death-but-i-sure-don-t-like_3008737.png)

> [The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pete-dye/the-ardent-golfer-would-play-mount-everest-if-somebody-put-a/)

[Pete Dye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pete-dye/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b43/pete-dye-52420_ardent_the-ardent-golfer-would-play-mount-evere_2265093.jpg)

> [One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-archer/one-thing-about-golf-is-you-don-t-know-why-you-play-bad-and-why-you/)

[George Archer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-archer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eaf/george-archer-50033_funny-golf_one-thing-about-golf-is-you-don-t-know-w_2339100.jpg)

> [Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sam-snead/keep-close-count-of-your-nickels-and-dimes-stay-away-from-whiskey-and/)

[Sam Snead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sam-snead/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a2/sam-snead-9856_concede_keep-close-count-of-your-nickels-and-dim_181048.jpg)

> [Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/golf-combines-two-favorite-american-pastimes-taking-long-walks-and/)

[P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c3/p-j-o-rourke-184_funny-golf_golf-combines-two-favorite-american-past_1165721.png)

> [I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chi-chi-rodriguez/i-never-pray-to-god-to-make-a-putt-i-pray-to-god-to-help-me-react/)

[Chi Chi Rodriguez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chi-chi-rodriguez/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/15c/chi-chi-rodriguez-11677_funny-golf_i-never-pray-to-god-to-make-a-putt-i-pra_1139170.png)

> [Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bobby-jones/golf-is-the-closest-game-to-the-game-we-call-life-you-get-bad-breaks/)

[Bobby Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bobby-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b97/bobby-jones-10373_balls_golf-is-the-closest-game-to-the-game-we_2712263.png)

> [They throw their clubs backwards, and that's wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don't have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tommy-bolt/they-throw-their-clubs-backwards-and-that-s-wrong-you-should-always/)

[Tommy Bolt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tommy-bolt/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4f1/tommy-bolt-29440_backwards_they-throw-their-clubs-backwards-and-tha_1886793.png)

> [Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/drugs-are-very-much-a-part-of-professional-sports-today-but-when-you/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/257/bob-hope-1406_addiction_drugs-are-very-much-a-part-of-profession_940091.jpg)

> [The more you play it the less you know about it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patty-berg/the-more-you-play-it-the-less-you-know-about-it/)

[Patty Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patty-berg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bbf/patty-berg-45825_funny-golf_the-more-you-play-it-the-less-you-know-a_1619735.jpg)

> [Never admit that your back goes out more than you do](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/never-admit-that-your-back-goes-out-more-than-you-do/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0c1/joan-rivers-669_admit_never-admit-that-your-back-goes-out-more_1499653.png)

> [You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bobby-jones/you-swing-your-best-when-you-have-the-fewest-things-to-think-about/)

[Bobby Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bobby-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/653/bobby-jones-10373_fewest_you-swing-your-best-when-you-have-the-fe_2480690.png)

> [The most important shot in golf is the next one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-hogan/the-most-important-shot-in-golf-is-the-next-one/)

[Ben Hogan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-hogan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ded/ben-hogan-10856_best-shot_the-most-important-shot-in-golf-is-the-n_2032105.png)

> [My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lee-trevino/my-swing-is-so-bad-i-look-like-a-caveman-killing-his-lunch/)

[Lee Trevino](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lee-trevino/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58f/lee-trevino-3680_funny-golf_my-swing-is-so-bad-i-look-like-a-caveman_1616204.png)

> [The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chi-chi-rodriguez/the-best-wood-in-most-amateurs-bags-is-the-pencil/)

[Chi Chi Rodriguez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chi-chi-rodriguez/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9cd/chi-chi-rodriguez-11677_bags_the-best-wood-in-most-amateurs-bags-is-t_1703051.png)

> [I never learned anything from a match that I won.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bobby-jones/i-never-learned-anything-from-a-match-that-i-won/)

[Bobby Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bobby-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/804/bobby-jones-10373_funny_i-never-learned-anything-from-a-match-th_483206.png)

> [Playing golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/winston-churchill/playing-golf-is-like-chasing-a-quinine-pill-around-a-cow-pasture/)

[Winston Churchill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/winston-churchill/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c7b/winston-churchill-95_chasing_playing-golf-is-like-chasing-a-quinine-p_2107224.jpg)

> [This is a game of misses. The guy who misses the best is going to win.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-hogan/this-is-a-game-of-misses-the-guy-who-misses-the-best-is-going-to-win/)

[Ben Hogan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-hogan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/42a/ben-hogan-10856_football_this-is-a-game-of-misses-the-guy-who-mis_1965210.png)

> [I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-crenshaw/i-m-about-five-inches-from-being-an-outstanding-golfer-that-s-the/)

[Ben Crenshaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-crenshaw/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ee/ben-crenshaw-20899_distance_i-m-about-five-inches-from-being-an-outs_326592.png)

> [You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-bruce/you-know-you-re-on-the-senior-tour-when-your-back-goes-out-more-than/)

[Bob Bruce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-bruce/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/909/bob-bruce-65711_funny-golf_you-know-you-re-on-the-senior-tour-when_3019236.png)

> [It takes hundreds of good golf shots to gain confidence, but only one bad one to lose it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-nicklaus/it-takes-hundreds-of-good-golf-shots-to-gain-confidence-but-only-one/)

[Jack Nicklaus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-nicklaus/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bba/jack-nicklaus-1429_confidence_it-takes-hundreds-of-good-golf-shots-to_2077673.png)

> [I'd like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seve-ballesteros/i-d-like-to-see-the-fairways-more-narrow-then-everybody-would-have-to/)

[Seve Ballesteros](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seve-ballesteros/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/02a/seve-ballesteros-3947_funny-golfing_i-d-like-to-see-the-fairways-more-narrow_2347641.png)

> [Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tommy-bolt/putting-allows-the-touchy-golfer-two-to-four-opportunities-to-blow-a/)

[Tommy Bolt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tommy-bolt/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7b5/tommy-bolt-29440_blow_putting-allows-the-touchy-golfer-two-to_2942756.png)

> [Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-demaret/golf-and-sex-are-about-the-only-things-you-can-enjoy-without-being/)

[Jimmy Demaret](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-demaret/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/909/jimmy-demaret-35346_be-good_golf-and-sex-are-about-the-only-things-y_1308079.png)

> [Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-williams/golf-is-a-game-where-white-men-can-dress-up-as-black-pimps-and-get/)

[Robin Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-williams/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23f/robin-williams-682_black_golf-is-a-game-where-white-men-can-dress_198467.jpg)

> [Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alex-hay/fifty-years-ago-100-white-men-chasing-one-black-man-across-a-field/)

[Alex Hay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alex-hay/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/808/alex-hay-217409_black_fifty-years-ago-100-white-men-chasing-on_1783128.png)

> [They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated than that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gardner-dickinson/they-say-golf-is-like-life-but-don-t-believe-them-it-s-more/)

[Gardner Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gardner-dickinson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/efe/gardner-dickinson-71562_believe_they-say-golf-is-like-life-but-don-t-bel_2096201.jpg)

> [I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-hope/i-went-to-play-golf-and-tried-to-shoot-my-age-but-i-shot-my-weight/)

[Bob Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb0/bob-hope-1406_age_i-went-to-play-golf-and-tried-to-shoot-m_2535940.jpg)

> [One minute you're bleeding. The next minute you're hemorrhaging. The next minute you're painting the Mona Lisa.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mac-o-grady/one-minute-you-re-bleeding-the-next-minute-you-re-hemorrhaging-the/)

[Mac O'Grady](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mac-o-grady/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db2/mac-o-grady-46977_bleeding_one-minute-you-re-bleeding-the-next-minu_1792392.jpg)

> [To give yourself the best possible chance of playing to your potential, you must prepare for every eventuality. That means practice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seve-ballesteros/to-give-yourself-the-best-possible-chance-of-playing-to-your/)

[Seve Ballesteros](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seve-ballesteros/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c3/seve-ballesteros-3947_chance_to-give-yourself-the-best-possible-chanc_2606378.png)

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                        "text": "I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt.",
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                        "text": "Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots - but you have to play the ball where it lies.",
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