---
title: "54 Funny basketball Quotes by 47 authors"
description: "Browse 54 Funny basketball quotes by 47 authors. Discover the best Funny basketball sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/286/kareem-abdul-jabbar-1909_athlete-motivational_one-man-cannot-make-a-team-1839195_1839195.png"
---

> [One man cannot make a team.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kareem-abdul-jabbar/one-man-cannot-make-a-team/)

[Kareem Abdul-Jabbar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kareem-abdul-jabbar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/286/kareem-abdul-jabbar-1909_athlete-motivational_one-man-cannot-make-a-team-1839195_1839195.png)

> [If cocaine were helium, the NBA would float away.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/art-rust-jr/if-cocaine-were-helium-the-nba-would-float-away/)

[Art Rust, Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/art-rust-jr/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e91/art-rust-jr-101627_basketball_if-cocaine-were-helium-the-nba-would-flo_1739035.png)

> [Insist upon yourself. Be original.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/insist-upon-yourself-be-original/)

[Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eea/ralph-waldo-emerson-6_creating_insist-upon-yourself-be-original-796334_796334.png)

> [To win, you've got to put the ball in the macramé.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-mcguire/to-win-you-ve-got-to-put-the-ball-in-the-macram/)

[Terry McGuire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-mcguire/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/89b/terry-mcguire-282085_ball_to-win-you-ve-got-to-put-the-ball-in-the_800454.png)

> [Basketball doesn't build character it reveals it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-naismith/basketball-doesn-t-build-character-it-reveals-it/)

[James Naismith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-naismith/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/afd/james-naismith-33040_awesome-basketball_basketball-doesn-t-build-character-it-re_126535.png)

> [On the best tactic when playing alongside Kareem Abdul-Jabbar- Just give him the ball.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/magic-johnson/on-the-best-tactic-when-playing-alongside-kareem-abdul-jabbar-just/)

[Magic Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/magic-johnson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f56/magic-johnson-2707_balls_on-the-best-tactic-when-playing-alongsid_1381338.jpg)

> [On females officiating in the NBA -Incompetence should not be confined to one sex.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-russell/on-females-officiating-in-the-nba-incompetence-should-not-be-confined/)

[Bill Russell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-russell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a11/bill-russell-12966_basketball_on-females-officiating-in-the-nba-incomp_1446098.jpg)

> [When I dunk, I put something on it. I want the ball to hit the floor before I do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darryl-dawkins/when-i-dunk-i-put-something-on-it-i-want-the-ball-to-hit-the-floor/)

[Darryl Dawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darryl-dawkins/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/97d/darryl-dawkins-34167_balls_when-i-dunk-i-put-something-on-it-i-want_1418131.png)

> [Basketball has so much showboating you'd think it was invented by Jerome Kern.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/art-spander/basketball-has-so-much-showboating-you-d-think-it-was-invented-by/)

[Art Spander](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/art-spander/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/620/art-spander-62912_basketball_basketball-has-so-much-showboating-you-d_3088690.png)

> [Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-shackleford/left-hand-right-hand-it-doesn-t-matter-i-m-amphibious/)

[Charles Shackleford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-shackleford/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/839/charles-shackleford-66042_ambidextrous_left-hand-right-hand-it-doesn-t-matter-i_656703.png)

> [I only know how to play two ways: reckless and abandon.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/magic-johnson/i-only-know-how-to-play-two-ways-reckless-and-abandon/)

[Magic Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/magic-johnson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d01/magic-johnson-2707_abandon_i-only-know-how-to-play-two-ways-reckles_660656.jpg)

> [Fans never fall asleep at our games, because they're afraid they might get hit by a pass.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-raveling/fans-never-fall-asleep-at-our-games-because-they-re-afraid-they-might/)

[George Raveling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-raveling/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3fd/george-raveling-43816_basketball_fans-never-fall-asleep-at-our-games-beca_678558.jpg)

> [I look at the NBA as a football game without the helmet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-tolbert/i-look-at-the-nba-as-a-football-game-without-the-helmet/)

[Tom Tolbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-tolbert/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b7/tom-tolbert-283812_ball-game_i-look-at-the-nba-as-a-football-game-wit_454504.png)

> [If the NBA were on channel 5 and a bunch of frogs making love were on channel 4, I'd watch the frogs,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bobby-knight/if-the-nba-were-on-channel-5-and-a-bunch-of-frogs-making-love-were-on/)

[Bobby Knight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bobby-knight/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/642/bobby-knight-2680_basketball_if-the-nba-were-on-channel-5-and-a-bunch_824807.png)

> [ Going into a game against Lew Alcindor \[later Kareem Abdul-Jabbar\] is like going into a knife fight and finding there's no blade… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-fitch/going-into-a-game-against-lew-alcindor-later-kareem-abdul-jabbar-is/)

[Bill Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-fitch/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/701/bill-fitch-72748_basketball_going-into-a-game-against-lew-alcindor-l_1307275.png)

> [The way my team are doing, we could get Wilt Chamberlain in a trade and find out that he's really two midgets…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-shue/the-way-my-team-are-doing-we-could-get-wilt-chamberlain-in-a-trade/)

[Gene Shue](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-shue/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cdf/gene-shue-239246_basketball_the-way-my-team-are-doing-we-could-get-w_674144.png)

> [Magic Johnson is the best player who plays on the ground, and Michael Jordan is the best player who plays in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-paxson/magic-johnson-is-the-best-player-who-plays-on-the-ground-and-michael/)

[John Paxson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-paxson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e26/john-paxson-72338_air_magic-johnson-is-the-best-player-who-pla_1072675.jpg)

> [We told Stanley Roberts to go on a water diet, and Lake Superior disappeared. Pat Williams When Xavier McDaniel plays against Orlando…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mychal-thompson/we-told-stanley-roberts-to-go-on-a-water-diet-and-lake-superior/)

[Mychal Thompson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mychal-thompson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e7f/mychal-thompson-61373_basketball_we-told-stanley-roberts-to-go-on-a-water_946741.jpg)

> [I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-layden/i-told-him-son-what-is-it-with-you-is-it-ignorance-or-apathy-he-said/)

[Frank Layden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-layden/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e63/frank-layden-56270_afl_i-told-him-son-what-is-it-with-you-is-it_1873472.jpg)

> [If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly. If they tell you a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-barkley/if-you-go-out-with-a-girl-and-they-say-she-has-a-great-personality/)

[Charles Barkley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-barkley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/77c/charles-barkley-1266_auburn_if-you-go-out-with-a-girl-and-they-say-s_2409038.png)

> [Part of the charm of basketball lies in the fact that it's a simple game to understand. Players race up and down…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-jenkins/part-of-the-charm-of-basketball-lies-in-the-fact-that-it-s-a-simple/)

[Dan Jenkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-jenkins/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8b6/dan-jenkins-3942_areas_part-of-the-charm-of-basketball-lies-in_2893377.png)

> [On how to make the game more exciting - Eliminate the referees, raise the basket four feet, double the size of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/al-mcguire/on-how-to-make-the-game-more-exciting-eliminate-the-referees-raise/)

[Al McGuire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/al-mcguire/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d4/al-mcguire-11312_basketball_on-how-to-make-the-game-more-exciting-el_944916.png)

> [Some things you just can't question. Like you can't question why two plus two is four. So don't question it, don't try…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shaquille-o-neal/some-things-you-just-can-t-question-like-you-can-t-question-why-two/)

[Shaquille O'Neal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shaquille-o-neal/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/53c/shaquille-o-neal-659_basketball_some-things-you-just-can-t-question-like_512536.jpg)

> [It is necessary to any originality to have the courage to be an amateur.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wallace-stevens/it-is-necessary-to-any-originality-to-have-the-courage-to-be-an/)

[Wallace Stevens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wallace-stevens/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/272/wallace-stevens-846_amateur_it-is-necessary-to-any-originality-to-ha_693965.jpg)

> [In my prime I could have handled Michael Jordan. Of course, he would be only 12 years old.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-sloan/in-my-prime-i-could-have-handled-michael-jordan-of-course-he-would-be/)

[Jerry Sloan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-sloan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b3/jerry-sloan-60862_basketball_in-my-prime-i-could-have-handled-michael_1556106.png)

> [Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-vaughan/any-american-boy-can-be-a-basketball-star-if-he-grows-up-up-up/)

[Bill Vaughan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-vaughan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/99b/bill-vaughan-706_basketball_any-american-boy-can-be-a-basketball-sta_2818800.png)

> [I liked the choreography, but I didn't care for the costumes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tommy-tune/i-liked-the-choreography-but-i-didn-t-care-for-the-costumes/)

[Tommy Tune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tommy-tune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/420/tommy-tune-38472_basketball_i-liked-the-choreography-but-i-didn-t-ca_917190.png)

> [We're shooting 100 percent - 60 percent from the field and 40 percent from the free-throw line.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/norm-stewart/we-re-shooting-100-percent-60-percent-from-the-field-and-40-percent/)

[Norm Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/norm-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ce0/norm-stewart-266890_basketball_we-re-shooting-100-percent-60-percent-fr_3236382.png)

> [Here's a six-foot-ten guy in sneakers and the lady's asking me, 'Profession?'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-mcmahon/here-s-a-six-foot-ten-guy-in-sneakers-and-the-lady-s-asking-me/)

[Jack McMahon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-mcmahon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db0/jack-mcmahon-244815_asking_here-s-a-six-foot-ten-guy-in-sneakers-an_866896.png)

> [I hate it. It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven. Five guys standing there with their hands in the air.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/norm-sloan/i-hate-it-it-looks-like-a-stickup-at-7-eleven-five-guys-standing/)

[Norm Sloan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/norm-sloan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ee/norm-sloan-51386_air_i-hate-it-it-looks-like-a-stickup-at-7-e_776953.jpg)

> [If Kyle Korver blocks your shot there should be a penalty box you should go to!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-van-gundy/if-kyle-korver-blocks-your-shot-there-should-be-a-penalty-box-you/)

[Jeff Van Gundy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-van-gundy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc0/jeff-van-gundy-4113_basketball-leadershi_if-kyle-korver-blocks-your-shot-there-sh_617238.png)

> [Tracy McGrady is doing things we've never seen from anybody - from any planet!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-walton/tracy-mcgrady-is-doing-things-we-ve-never-seen-from-anybody-from-any/)

[Bill Walton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-walton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ca0/bill-walton-3531_basketball_tracy-mcgrady-is-doing-things-we-ve-neve_2661032.png)

> [Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shelby-metcalf/son-looks-to-me-like-you-re-spending-too-much-time-on-one-subject/)

[Shelby Metcalf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shelby-metcalf/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/520/shelby-metcalf-277778_basketball_son-looks-to-me-like-you-re-spending-too_3027944.png)

> [Winning is like deodorant - it comes up and a lot of things don't stink.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doc-rivers/winning-is-like-deodorant-it-comes-up-and-a-lot-of-things-don-t-stink/)

[Doc Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doc-rivers/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d5/doc-rivers-24659_basketball_winning-is-like-deodorant-it-comes-up-an_1220822.jpg)

> [I'm in favour of drug tests, just so long as they are multiple choice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kurt-rambis/i-m-in-favour-of-drug-tests-just-so-long-as-they-are-multiple-choice/)

[Kurt Rambis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kurt-rambis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/545/kurt-rambis-61175_basketball_i-m-in-favour-of-drug-tests-just-so-long_41767.png)

> [We told Stanley Roberts to go on a water diet, and Lake Superior disappeared.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pat-williams/we-told-stanley-roberts-to-go-on-a-water-diet-and-lake-superior-2/)

[Pat Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pat-williams/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a68/pat-williams-22657_basketball_we-told-stanley-roberts-to-go-on-a-water_2087400.png)

> [On his telepathic understanding with James Worthy- It's almost like we have ESPN.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/magic-johnson/on-his-telepathic-understanding-with-james-worthy-it-s-almost-like-we/)

[Magic Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/magic-johnson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/822/magic-johnson-2707_basketball_on-his-telepathic-understanding-with-jam_2685672.jpg)

> [The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-naismith/the-invention-of-basketball-was-not-an-accident-it-was-developed-to-2/)

[James Naismith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-naismith/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55d/james-naismith-33040_accidents_the-invention-of-basketball-was-not-an-a_999615.png)

> [I never thought I'd lead the NBA in rebounding, but I got a lot of help from my team-mates - they did…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/moses-malone/i-never-thought-i-d-lead-the-nba-in-rebounding-but-i-got-a-lot-of/)

[Moses Malone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/moses-malone/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/111/moses-malone-19693_basketball_i-never-thought-i-d-lead-the-nba-in-rebo_2455984.png)

> [What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/what-is-so-fascinating-about-sitting-around-watching-a-bunch-of/)

[Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bef/woody-allen-176_balls_what-is-so-fascinating-about-sitting-aro_1535124.jpg)

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                        "text": "I look at the NBA as a football game without the helmet.",
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                        "text": "Going into a game against Lew Alcindor [later Kareem Abdul-Jabbar] is like going into a knife fight and finding there's no blade in your handle.",
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                        "text": "The way my team are doing, we could get Wilt Chamberlain in a trade and find out that he's really two midgets Scotch-taped together.",
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                        "text": "We told Stanley Roberts to go on a water diet, and Lake Superior disappeared. Pat Williams When Xavier McDaniel plays against Orlando Wooldridge, it's a coach's dream - X vs O.",
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                        "text": "Part of the charm of basketball lies in the fact that it's a simple game to understand. Players race up and down a fairly small area indoors and stuff the ball into a ring with Madonna's dress hanging on it.",
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                        "text": "On how to make the game more exciting - Eliminate the referees, raise the basket four feet, double the size of the basketball, limit the height of the players to 5 feet 9 inches, bring back the centre jump, allow taxi drivers in for free and allow the players to carry guns.",
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                        "text": "I liked the choreography, but I didn't care for the costumes.",
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                        "text": "We're shooting 100 percent - 60 percent from the field and 40 percent from the free-throw line.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Here's a six-foot-ten guy in sneakers and the lady's asking me, 'Profession?'",
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                            "name": "Jack McMahon"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I hate it. It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven. Five guys standing there with their hands in the air.",
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                        "text": "If Kyle Korver blocks your shot there should be a penalty box you should go to!",
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                        "text": "Tracy McGrady is doing things we've never seen from anybody - from any planet!",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Winning is like deodorant - it comes up and a lot of things don't stink.",
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                        "text": "I'm in favour of drug tests, just so long as they are multiple choice.",
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                        "text": "We told Stanley Roberts to go on a water diet, and Lake Superior disappeared.",
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