---
title: "61 Funny baseball Quotes by 55 authors"
description: "Browse 61 Funny baseball quotes by 55 authors. Discover the best Funny baseball sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb2/phil-linz-94106_baseball_baseball-is-a-fun-game-it-beats-working_2304590.png"
---

> [Baseball is a fun game. It beats working for a living.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-linz/baseball-is-a-fun-game-it-beats-working-for-a-living/)

Phil Linz

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb2/phil-linz-94106_baseball_baseball-is-a-fun-game-it-beats-working_2304590.png)

> [Three more saves and he ties John the Baptist.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hank-greenwald/three-more-saves-and-he-ties-john-the-baptist/)

Hank Greenwald

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7cc/hank-greenwald-80900_baptist_three-more-saves-and-he-ties-john-the-ba_1455574.png)

> [Once (Stan) Musial timed your fastball, your infielders were in jeopardy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-spahn/once-stan-musial-timed-your-fastball-your-infielders-were-in-jeopardy/)

[Warren Spahn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-spahn/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4bf/warren-spahn-28433_baseball_once-stan-musial-timed-your-fastball-you_688316.png)

> [Feeling is to lose a major league game.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-tanner/feeling-is-to-lose-a-major-league-game/)

[Chuck Tanner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-tanner/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d35/chuck-tanner-45015_baseball_feeling-is-to-lose-a-major-league-game-1_100584.png)

> [I never took the game home with me. I always left it in some bar.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-lemon/i-never-took-the-game-home-with-me-i-always-left-it-in-some-bar/)

[Bob Lemon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-lemon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ae/bob-lemon-52915_bars_i-never-took-the-game-home-with-me-i-alw_2392324.png)

> [I played seven years without ever hitting the ball.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mickey-mantle/i-played-seven-years-without-ever-hitting-the-ball/)

[Mickey Mantle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mickey-mantle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bea/mickey-mantle-3879_athlete-motivational_i-played-seven-years-without-ever-hittin_1477064.jpg)

> [Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/baseball-is-the-only-major-sport-that-appears-backwards-in-a-mirror/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/973/george-carlin-155_backwards_baseball-is-the-only-major-sport-that-ap_1480179.jpg)

> [To a pitcher, a base hit is the perfect example of negative feedback.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-hovley/to-a-pitcher-a-base-hit-is-the-perfect-example-of-negative-feedback/)

Steve Hovley

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ae/steve-hovley-279879_baseball_to-a-pitcher-a-base-hit-is-the-perfect-e_75549.jpg)

> [A critic once characterized baseball as six minutes of action crammed into two-and-one-half hours.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ray-fitzgerald/a-critic-once-characterized-baseball-as-six-minutes-of-action-crammed/)

Ray Fitzgerald

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d5/ray-fitzgerald-97579_action_a-critic-once-characterized-baseball-as_1464934.jpg)

> [You know you're pitching well when the batters look as bad as you do at the plate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/duke-snider/you-know-you-re-pitching-well-when-the-batters-look-as-bad-as-you-do/)

[Duke Snider](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/duke-snider/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f4/duke-snider-33152_baseball_you-know-you-re-pitching-well-when-the-b_1695205.png)

> [A lot of things run through your head when you're going in to relieve in a tight spot. One of them was,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lefty-gomez/a-lot-of-things-run-through-your-head-when-you-re-going-in-to-relieve/)

[Lefty Gomez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lefty-gomez/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/610/lefty-gomez-20835_funny-baseball_a-lot-of-things-run-through-your-head-wh_645781.jpg)

> [Baseball statistics are like a girl in a bikini. They show a lot, but not everything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toby-harrah/baseball-statistics-are-like-a-girl-in-a-bikini-they-show-a-lot-but/)

Toby Harrah

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5c/toby-harrah-110833_baseball_baseball-statistics-are-like-a-girl-in-a_1694808.png)

> [A man once told me to walk with the Lord. I'd rather walk with the bases loaded.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ken-singleton/a-man-once-told-me-to-walk-with-the-lord-i-d-rather-walk-with-the/)

Ken Singleton

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/51e/ken-singleton-110209_baseball_a-man-once-told-me-to-walk-with-the-lord_1042948.jpg)

> [The pitcher has to find out if the hitter is timid. And if the hitter is timid, he has to remind the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-drysdale/the-pitcher-has-to-find-out-if-the-hitter-is-timid-and-if-the-hitter/)

[Don Drysdale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/don-drysdale/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06b/don-drysdale-31205_baseball_the-pitcher-has-to-find-out-if-the-hitte_163387.png)

> [When you're in a slump, it's almost as if you look out at the field and it's one big glove.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vance-law/when-you-re-in-a-slump-it-s-almost-as-if-you-look-out-at-the-field/)

Vance Law

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1aa/vance-law-285142_baseball_when-you-re-in-a-slump-it-s-almost-as-if_1290230.png)

> [When you win you eat better, sleep better and your beer tastes better. And your wife looks like Gina Lollobrigida.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-pesky/when-you-win-you-eat-better-sleep-better-and-your-beer-tastes-better/)

Johnny Pesky

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a5/johnny-pesky-77196_baseball_when-you-win-you-eat-better-sleep-better_2919055.png)

> [Chicks who dig home runs aren't the ones who appeal to me. I think there's sexiness in infield hits because they require…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ichiro-suzuki/chicks-who-dig-home-runs-aren-t-the-ones-who-appeal-to-me-i-think/)

[Ichiro Suzuki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ichiro-suzuki/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a52/ichiro-suzuki-12132_appeals_chicks-who-dig-home-runs-aren-t-the-ones_2503178.jpg)

> [There are three things in my life which I really love: God, my family, and baseball. The only problem - once baseball…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/there-are-three-things-in-my-life-which-i-really-love-god-my-family/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7d1/anonymous-1_baseball_there-are-three-things-in-my-life-which_49420.jpg)

> [Every hitter likes fastballs, just like everybody likes ice cream. But you don't like it when someone's stuffing it into you by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/reggie-jackson/every-hitter-likes-fastballs-just-like-everybody-likes-ice-cream-but/)

[Reggie Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/reggie-jackson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f8a/reggie-jackson-7951_ball-games_every-hitter-likes-fastballs-just-like-e_1640183.jpg)

> [Baseball is a lot like the Army, there aren't many individuals. About the only difference is that baseball players get to stay…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-lee/baseball-is-a-lot-like-the-army-there-aren-t-many-individuals-about/)

[Bill Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-lee/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e59/bill-lee-26393_army_baseball-is-a-lot-like-the-army-there-ar_1421747.jpg)

> [It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in spring, when everything else begins again, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-bartlett-giamatti/it-breaks-your-heart-it-is-designed-to-break-your-heart-the-game/)

[A. Bartlett Giamatti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-bartlett-giamatti/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7cf/a-bartlett-giamatti-13095_afternoon_it-breaks-your-heart-it-is-designed-to-b_2065482.png)

> [When you're in a slump, it's almost as if you look out at the field and it's one big glove. Vance Law…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-lemon/when-you-re-in-a-slump-it-s-almost-as-if-you-look-out-at-the-field-2/)

[Bob Lemon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-lemon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d5/bob-lemon-52915_baseball_when-you-re-in-a-slump-it-s-almost-as-if_2553902.jpg)

> [It's no coincidence that female interest in the sport of baseball has increased greatly since the ballplayers swapped those wonderful old-time baggy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-royko/it-s-no-coincidence-that-female-interest-in-the-sport-of-baseball-has-2/)

[Mike Royko](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-royko/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c7/mike-royko-15745_baseball_it-s-no-coincidence-that-female-interest_2698845.jpg)

> [When you say you're a padre, people ask when did you become a parent. When you say you're a cardinal, they tell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tommy-lasorda/when-you-say-you-re-a-padre-people-ask-when-did-you-become-a-parent/)

[Tommy Lasorda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tommy-lasorda/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fa/tommy-lasorda-6435_asks_when-you-say-you-re-a-padre-people-ask-w_612925.jpg)

> [I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ron-shelton/i-believe-in-the-church-of-baseball-i-ve-tried-all-the-major/)

Ron Shelton

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/847/ron-shelton-70477_baseball_i-believe-in-the-church-of-baseball-i-ve_1525735.png)

> [I stare out the window and wait for spring,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rogers-hornsby/i-stare-out-the-window-and-wait-for-spring/)

[Rogers Hornsby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rogers-hornsby/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d76/rogers-hornsby-26573_american-baseball_i-stare-out-the-window-and-wait-for-spri_3119217.jpg)

> [Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/will-rogers/baseball-is-a-skilled-game-it-s-america-s-game-it-and-high-taxes/)

[Will Rogers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/will-rogers/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cfb/will-rogers-272_america_baseball-is-a-skilled-game-it-s-america_456820.jpg)

> [Why do people sing Take Me Out to The Ballgame when they're already there?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alex-rodriguez/why-do-people-sing-take-me-out-to-the-ballgame-when-they-re-already/)

[Alex Rodriguez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alex-rodriguez/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f6e/alex-rodriguez-9496_ballgame_why-do-people-sing-take-me-out-to-the-ba_2014833.jpg)

> [NO MAN CAN AVOID BEING BORN AVERAGE, BUT NO MAN HAS TO STAY AVERAGE.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/satchel-paige/no-man-can-avoid-being-born-average-but-no-man-has-to-stay-average/)

[Satchel Paige](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/satchel-paige/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87d/satchel-paige-11316_average_no-man-can-avoid-being-born-average-but_1809495.jpg)

> [Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-e-lewis/rooting-for-the-yankees-is-like-rooting-for-u-s-steel/)

[Joe E. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-e-lewis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/51f/joe-e-lewis-20279_baseball_rooting-for-the-yankees-is-like-rooting_2214437.jpg)

> [The other sports are just sports. Baseball is a love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bryant-gumbel/the-other-sports-are-just-sports-baseball-is-a-love/)

[Bryant Gumbel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bryant-gumbel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d5/bryant-gumbel-25418_baseball_the-other-sports-are-just-sports-basebal_3001978.jpg)

> [Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/confucius/baseball-is-wrong-man-with-four-balls-cannot-walk/)

[Confucius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/confucius/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/532/confucius-164_balls_baseball-is-wrong-man-with-four-balls-ca_1302317.jpg)

> [It ain't like football. You can't make up no trick plays.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yogi-berra/it-ain-t-like-football-you-can-t-make-up-no-trick-plays/)

[Yogi Berra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yogi-berra/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1db/yogi-berra-1349_baseball_it-ain-t-like-football-you-can-t-make-up_562146.png)

> [Bruce Benedict is so slow he'd finish third in a race with a pregnant woman.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tommy-lasorda/bruce-benedict-is-so-slow-he-d-finish-third-in-a-race-with-a-pregnant/)

[Tommy Lasorda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tommy-lasorda/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a08/tommy-lasorda-6435_baseball_bruce-benedict-is-so-slow-he-d-finish-th_386984.png)

> [I'm glad I don't play anymore. I could never learn all those handshakes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-rizzuto/i-m-glad-i-don-t-play-anymore-i-could-never-learn-all-those-handshakes/)

[Phil Rizzuto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-rizzuto/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a37/phil-rizzuto-43450_baseball_i-m-glad-i-don-t-play-anymore-i-could-ne_2758936.png)

> [I don't know (if they were men or women running naked across the field). They had bags over their heads.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yogi-berra/i-don-t-know-if-they-were-men-or-women-running-naked-across-the-field/)

[Yogi Berra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yogi-berra/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09c/yogi-berra-1349_bags_i-don-t-know-if-they-were-men-or-women-r_921195.png)

> [Baseball is the only game left for people. To play basketball, you have to be 7 feet 6 inches. To play football,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-veeck/baseball-is-the-only-game-left-for-people-to-play-basketball-you-have/)

[Bill Veeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-veeck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b25/bill-veeck-14961_baseball_baseball-is-the-only-game-left-for-peopl_1148729.png)

> [I think I throw the ball as hard as anyone. The ball just doesn't get there as fast.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eddie-bane/i-think-i-throw-the-ball-as-hard-as-anyone-the-ball-just-doesn-t-get/)

Eddie Bane

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e24/eddie-bane-234534_balls_i-think-i-throw-the-ball-as-hard-as-anyo_366714.png)

> [I'd be willing to bet you, if I was a betting man, that I have never bet on baseball.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pete-rose/i-d-be-willing-to-bet-you-if-i-was-a-betting-man-that-i-have-never/)

[Pete Rose](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pete-rose/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/91a/pete-rose-3178_baseball_i-d-be-willing-to-bet-you-if-i-was-a-bet_861533.png)

> [Baseball without fans is like Jayne Mansfield without a sweater. Hang on, that can be taken two ways.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-m-nixon/baseball-without-fans-is-like-jayne-mansfield-without-a-sweater-hang/)

[Richard M. Nixon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-m-nixon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/408/richard-m-nixon-727_baseball_baseball-without-fans-is-like-jayne-mans_3123941.jpg)

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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "A man once told me to walk with the Lord. I'd rather walk with the bases loaded.",
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                        "text": "The pitcher has to find out if the hitter is timid. And if the hitter is timid, he has to remind the hitter he's timid.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "When you're in a slump, it's almost as if you look out at the field and it's one big glove.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "When you win you eat better, sleep better and your beer tastes better. And your wife looks like Gina Lollobrigida.",
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                        "text": "Chicks who dig home runs aren't the ones who appeal to me. I think there's sexiness in infield hits because they require technique. I'd rather impress the chicks with my technique than with my brute strength. Then, every now and then, just to show I can do that, too, I might flirt a little by hitting one out.",
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                        "text": "There are three things in my life which I really love: God, my family, and baseball. The only problem - once baseball season starts, I change the order around a bit.",
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                        "text": "Every hitter likes fastballs, just like everybody likes ice cream. But you don't like it when someone's stuffing it into you by the gallon. That's what it feels like when Nolan Ryan's thrown balls by you.",
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                        "text": "Baseball is a lot like the Army, there aren't many individuals. About the only difference is that baseball players get to stay in nice hotels instead of barracks.",
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                        "text": "It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone.",
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                        "text": "When you're in a slump, it's almost as if you look out at the field and it's one big glove. Vance Law Baseball was made for kids, and grown-ups only screw it up.",
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                        "text": "It's no coincidence that female interest in the sport of baseball has increased greatly since the ballplayers swapped those wonderful old-time baggy flannel uniforms for leotards.",
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                        "text": "I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance.",
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                        "text": "Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes.",
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                        "text": "Why do people sing Take Me Out to The Ballgame when they're already there?",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "NO MAN CAN AVOID BEING BORN AVERAGE, BUT NO MAN HAS TO STAY AVERAGE.",
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                        "text": "Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The other sports are just sports. Baseball is a love.",
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                        "text": "Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "It ain't like football. You can't make up no trick plays.",
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                        "text": "Bruce Benedict is so slow he'd finish third in a race with a pregnant woman.",
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                        "text": "I'm glad I don't play anymore. I could never learn all those handshakes.",
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                        "text": "I don't know (if they were men or women running naked across the field). They had bags over their heads.",
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