--- title: "2 Funny-and-random Quotes By Oliver Markus Malloy" description: "2 Funny-and-random quotes by Oliver Markus Malloy. Plus more from Oliver Markus Malloy and more Funny-and-random sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dee/oliver-markus-malloy-6767_atheism-quotes_if-god-created-man-in-his-image-does-god_1022930.jpg" --- > [“If God created man in his image... Does God have a functioning penis? And does God manually handle every penis he creates? Or does he outsource the job to penis-manufacturing elves?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/if-god-created-man-in-his-image-does-god-have-a-functioning-penis-and/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dee/oliver-markus-malloy-6767_atheism-quotes_if-god-created-man-in-his-image-does-god_1022930.jpg) > [“Men looove pussy. They can never get enough of it. If you send a guy a pussy pic, he's gonna think you're awesome. And he assumes you feel the same way if he sends you an unsolicited dick pic. He…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/men-looove-pussy-they-can-never-get-enough-of-it-if-you-send-a-guy-a/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e9e/oliver-markus-malloy-6767_creepy-dude_men-looove-pussy-they-can-never-get-enou_2867306.jpg) ## Other authors on Funny-and-random ## More by Oliver Markus Malloy > [“Medical studies have shown that cursing reduces levels of stress and pain. Repressing your anger is not healthy. It's much better to verbalize it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/medical-studies-have-shown-that-cursing-reduces-levels-of-stress-and/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [“Claiming to be offended is a great way to elevate yourself at the expense of others: “Look at me! I'm a much better person…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/claiming-to-be-offended-is-a-great-way-to-elevate-yourself-at-the/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [“Have you ever played Monopoly? It's a board game designed to teach kids capitalism. And what happens in the end? The winner has all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/have-you-ever-played-monopoly-it-s-a-board-game-designed-to-teach/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [“Food for thought: Every dead body on Mount Everest was once a highly motivated person. Stay lazy my friends. It may save your life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/food-for-thought-every-dead-body-on-mount-everest-was-once-a-highly/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [“The world would be a better place without billionaires.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/the-world-would-be-a-better-place-without-billionaires/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [“How come there's no commandment that says "Thou shalt not rape"? Did God ask Mary for consent before he put a baby in her?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/how-come-there-s-no-commandment-that-says-thou-shalt-not-rape-did-god/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [“If you think of yourself as a follower of Christ’s teachings, if you consider yourself a good person, you are morally obligated to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/if-you-think-of-yourself-as-a-follower-of-christ-s-teachings-if-you/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [“There's a reason why most men don't read romance: Romance novels are wish-fulfillment for women. The fictitious men in romance novels fall all over…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/there-s-a-reason-why-most-men-don-t-read-romance-romance-novels-are/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [“The fictitious men in romance novels are as fake and imaginary as vampires. They're not real.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/the-fictitious-men-in-romance-novels-are-as-fake-and-imaginary-as/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [“Why ban guns? Let's give everyone rocket launchers! What could possibly go wrong?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/why-ban-guns-let-s-give-everyone-rocket-launchers-what-could-possibly/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [“Political Correctness started out as a movement that intended to protect minorities from harassment. But it has morphed into an excuse for self-righteous zealots…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/political-correctness-started-out-as-a-movement-that-intended-to/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [“These social media shamings bear an uncanny resemblance to medieval witch hunts.” If you were accused of being a witch back then, you were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/these-social-media-shamings-bear-an-uncanny-resemblance-to-medieval/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [“Ladies, I have bad news for you. Men are pigs. No really. I know you think you know what I'm talking about but you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/ladies-i-have-bad-news-for-you-men-are-pigs-no-really-i-know-you/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [“MAGA dumbfucks are trailer park yokels with 6 teeth who support robber barons with 6 yachts.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/maga-dumbfucks-are-trailer-park-yokels-with-6-teeth-who-support/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [“Why are so many Americans for male circumcision but against female circumcision? Both are equally cruel and barbaric traditions.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/why-are-so-many-americans-for-male-circumcision-but-against-female/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/funny-and-random/oliver-markus-malloy/#itemlist", "name": "2 Funny-and-random Quotes By Oliver Markus Malloy", "numberOfItems": 2, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“If God created man in his image... Does God have a functioning penis? And does God manually handle every penis he creates? 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But that's not what he sees. To him that sock is the most awesome thing in the whole world. And he is putting The Most Awesome Thing In The Whole World in your lap. Then he sits down in front of you and stares into your eyes as if to say: \"This is my gift to you. May it give you the same endless hours of joy and happiness that it has given me.\" And that's exactly what men think when they send you a dick pic.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Oliver Markus Malloy" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/men-looove-pussy-they-can-never-get-enough-of-it-if-you-send-a-guy-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e9e/oliver-markus-malloy-6767_creepy-dude_men-looove-pussy-they-can-never-get-enou_2867306.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e9e/oliver-markus-malloy-6767_creepy-dude_men-looove-pussy-they-can-never-get-enou_2867306.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e9e/oliver-markus-malloy-6767_creepy-dude_men-looove-pussy-they-can-never-get-enou_2867306.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Men looove pussy. They can never get enough of it. 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