---
title: "2 Funny-and-random Quotes By Mark Twain"
description: "2 Funny-and-random quotes by Mark Twain. Plus more from Mark Twain and more Funny-and-random sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a2c/mark-twain-22_becoming_if-your-mother-tells-you-to-do-a-thing-i_1163604.png"
---

> [If your mother tells you to do a thing, it is wrong to reply that you won't. It is better and more becoming to intimate that you will do as she bids you, and then afterwards act quietly in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/if-your-mother-tells-you-to-do-a-thing-it-is-wrong-to-reply-that-you/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a2c/mark-twain-22_becoming_if-your-mother-tells-you-to-do-a-thing-i_1163604.png)

> [“He done his level best. Was he a mining on the flat.. He done it with a zest.. Was he a leading of the choir.. He done his level best. If he'd a reg'lar task to do, He never took…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/he-done-his-level-best-was-he-a-mining-on-the-flat-he-done-it-with-a/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cc6/mark-twain-22_funny-and-random_he-done-his-level-best-was-he-a-mining-o_1368644.png)

## Other authors on Funny-and-random

## More by Mark Twain

> [Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/sing-like-no-one-s-listening-love-like-you-ve-never-been-hurt-dance/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/if-you-had-made-the-acquiring-of-ignorance-the-study-of-your-life-you/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-creator-sat-upon-the-throne-thinking-behind-him-stretched-the/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/it-s-easy-to-quit-smoking-i-ve-done-it-hundreds-of-times/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [“It is never wrong to do the right thing.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/it-is-never-wrong-to-do-the-right-thing/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/a-man-accustomed-to-american-food-and-american-domestic-cookery-would/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [There is nothing training can't cannot do. Nothing is above its reach.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/there-is-nothing-training-can-t-cannot-do-nothing-is-above-its-reach/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/i-never-write-metropolis-for-seven-cents-because-i-can-get-the-same/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-higher-animals-get-their-teeth-without-pain-or-inconvenience-man/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/as-far-as-i-can-see-italy-for-fifteen-hundred-years-has-turned-all/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/begin-with-the-determination-to-succeed-and-the-work-is-half-done/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/many-public-school-children-seem-to-know-only-two-dates-1492-and-4th/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/if-we-could-imagine-such-a-man-that-is-a-man-who-could-invent-the-fly/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/you-perceive-now-that-these-things-are-all-impossible-except-in-a/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/lord-save-us-all-from-a-hope-tree-that-has-lost-the-faculty-of/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

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