--- title: "7 Five Quotes By Woody Allen" description: "7 Five quotes by Woody Allen. Plus more from Woody Allen and more Five sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f8f/woody-allen-176_analysts_those-modern-analysts-they-charge-so-muc_880282.jpg" --- > [Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/those-modern-analysts-they-charge-so-much-in-my-day-for-five-marks/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f8f/woody-allen-176_analysts_those-modern-analysts-they-charge-so-muc_880282.jpg) > [I've never had a block. I'm talking within the limits of my abilities. But in my own small way, I've had an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/i-ve-never-had-a-block-i-m-talking-within-the-limits-of-my-abilities/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7f6/woody-allen-176_ability_i-ve-never-had-a-block-i-m-talking-withi_944117.jpg) > [Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/standard-mathematics-has-recently-been-rendered-obsolete-by-the/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/01c/woody-allen-176_algebra_standard-mathematics-has-recently-been-r_1242275.jpg) > [ If the \[actors\] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/if-the-actors-are-working-and-i-have-a-dinner-engagement-i-don-t-do/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/93d/woody-allen-176_actors_if-the-actors-are-working-and-i-have-a-d_2043603.jpg) > [Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night. I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/bisexuality-doubles-your-chances-of-a-date-on-a-saturday-night-i/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/563/woody-allen-176_beatty_bisexuality-doubles-your-chances-of-a-da_2685131.jpg) > [My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/my-mother-never-had-time-for-me-when-you-re-the-middle-child-in-a/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/72e/woody-allen-176_attention_my-mother-never-had-time-for-me-when-you_2840467.jpg) > [I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/i-believe-that-sex-is-a-beautiful-thing-between-two-people-between/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/20f/woody-allen-176_beautiful_i-believe-that-sex-is-a-beautiful-thing_3127650.jpg) ## Other authors on Five ## More by Woody Allen > [“True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/true-science-has-conquered-many-diseases-broken-the-genetic-code-and/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) > [Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/bisexuality-immediately-doubles-your-chances-for-a-date-on-saturday/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) > [In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/in-every-generation-there-are-a-few-people-who-are-authentically/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) > [I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/i-think-frank-capra-was-a-much-craftier-filmmaker-a-wonderful/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) > [The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/the-food-here-is-terrible-and-the-portions-are-too-small/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) > [Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/gauguin-flew-into-a-frenzy-he-held-my-head-under-the-x-ray-machine/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) > [What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/what-has-gotten-into-you-lately-save-a-little-craziness-for-menopause/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) > [I enjoy the making of the film and it's something for me to do. If nobody ever comes to my films, if people don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/i-enjoy-the-making-of-the-film-and-it-s-something-for-me-to-do-if/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) > [Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/why-does-man-kill-he-kills-for-food-and-not-only-food-frequently/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) > [A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/a-stockbroker-is-someone-who-invests-other-people-s-money-until-it-is/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) > [Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/man-cannot-live-by-bread-alone-every-once-in-awhile-he-needs-a-salad/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) > [All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/all-literature-is-a-footnote-to-faust-i-have-no-idea-what-i-mean-by/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) > [There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/there-are-two-important-things-in-the-world-the-first-is-sex-the/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) > [You can't ride two horses with one behind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/you-can-t-ride-two-horses-with-one-behind/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) > [Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/is-old-age-really-so-terrible-not-if-you-ve-brushed-your-teeth/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/five/woody-allen/#itemlist", "name": "7 Five Quotes By Woody Allen", "numberOfItems": 7, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. 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