--- title: "10 Firsts Quotes By Dennis Miller" description: "10 Firsts quotes by Dennis Miller. Plus more from Dennis Miller and more Firsts sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b68/dennis-miller-1315_birth_i-don-t-need-to-be-born-again-i-got-it-r_1858683.png" --- > [I don't need to be born again. I got it right the first time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-don-t-need-to-be-born-again-i-got-it-right-the-first-time/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b68/dennis-miller-1315_birth_i-don-t-need-to-be-born-again-i-got-it-r_1858683.png) > [I'm sorry, those pictures from the Abu Ghraib. At first, they, like infuriated me, I was sad. Then like, a couple days…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-m-sorry-those-pictures-from-the-abu-ghraib-at-first-they-like/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f53/dennis-miller-1315_abu-ghraib_i-m-sorry-those-pictures-from-the-abu-gh_3196983.jpg) > [After 7 years of marriage, I am sure of 2 things: First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need 2 bathrooms .…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/after-7-years-of-marriage-i-am-sure-of-2-things-first-never-wallpaper/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/402/dennis-miller-1315_bathroom_after-7-years-of-marriage-i-am-sure-of-2_960085.jpg) > [Lotto fever hit New York again this week, and like the old saying goes, 'You gotta be in it to win it'...…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/lotto-fever-hit-new-york-again-this-week-and-like-the-old-saying-goes/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bf3/dennis-miller-1315_chance_lotto-fever-hit-new-york-again-this-week_2610762.jpg) > [Ouch! And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/ouch-and-marino-goes-down-quicker-than-his-boonesfarm-infused-sister/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fcf/dennis-miller-1315_first-date_ouch-and-marino-goes-down-quicker-than-h_1411374.jpg) > [The soldiers kill suicide bombers. Think about that. When a guys whole thing in life is to kill himself and you get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-soldiers-kill-suicide-bombers-think-about-that-when-a-guys-whole/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bda/dennis-miller-1315_ass_the-soldiers-kill-suicide-bombers-think_2547073.png) > [Only man is a narcissistic enough species to think that a highly evolved alien life force would travel across billions and billions…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/only-man-is-a-narcissistic-enough-species-to-think-that-a-highly/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b74/dennis-miller-1315_alien_only-man-is-a-narcissistic-enough-specie_462755.png) > [I don't know what I think of George W. Bush when he first got in, but I've grown fond of the man,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-don-t-know-what-i-think-of-george-w-bush-when-he-first-got-in-but-i/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41a/dennis-miller-1315_care_i-don-t-know-what-i-think-of-george-w-bu_2170399.jpg) > [Campaign analysts say that Dean has produced the most innovative web site in this year's presidential race. I particularly like today's blog,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/campaign-analysts-say-that-dean-has-produced-the-most-innovative-web/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd5/dennis-miller-1315_analysts_campaign-analysts-say-that-dean-has-prod_2522087.jpg) > [And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/and-finally-and-most-importantly-the-next-time-we-go-to-war-don-t/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/13a/dennis-miller-1315_ads_and-finally-and-most-importantly-the-nex_1929266.jpg) ## Other authors on Firsts ## More by Dennis Miller > [Laughter is one of the great beacons in life because we don't refract it by gunning it through our intellectual prism. What makes us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/laughter-is-one-of-the-great-beacons-in-life-because-we-don-t-refract/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/it-takes-zero-politically-correct-people-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/drop-the-veneer-periodically-and-be-like-ok-i-m-an-imperfect-human/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-m-left-on-a-lot-of-things-if-two-gay-guys-want-to-get-married-i/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/american-s-could-be-any-more-self-absorbed-if-they-were-made-of-equal/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/nowadays-with-history-not-being-taught-anymore-in-american-public/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-think-abortion-s-wrong-but-it-s-none-of-my-business-to-tell/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/americans-stick-their-nose-where-it-doesn-t-belong-more-than-cyrano/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/we-need-anything-politically-important-rationed-out-like-pez-small/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/dennis-kucinich-s-politics-are-more-scrambled-than-rod-steiger-s/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/somebody-call-janet-reno-i-think-i-just-saw-donato-dragging-doug/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-have-sympathy-for-any-human-being-that-s-driven-by-their-limbic/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-haven-t-seen-someone-so-overmatched-since-mike-tyson-tried-to/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [ There's a lot of differing data \[about global warming\], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/there-s-a-lot-of-differing-data-about-global-warming-but-as-far-as-i/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [The good thing about Pittsburgh, it's a good place to be raised... it doesn't tolerate assholes. You're either a good guy or you're a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-good-thing-about-pittsburgh-it-s-a-good-place-to-be-raised-it/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/firsts/dennis-miller/#itemlist", "name": "10 Firsts Quotes By Dennis Miller", "numberOfItems": 10, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I don't need to be born again. 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And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after watching 'Love Story' at the drive-in.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dennis Miller" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/ouch-and-marino-goes-down-quicker-than-his-boonesfarm-infused-sister/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fcf/dennis-miller-1315_first-date_ouch-and-marino-goes-down-quicker-than-h_1411374.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fcf/dennis-miller-1315_first-date_ouch-and-marino-goes-down-quicker-than-h_1411374.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fcf/dennis-miller-1315_first-date_ouch-and-marino-goes-down-quicker-than-h_1411374.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Ouch! 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When a guys whole thing in life is to kill himself and you get there first... you are halling ass my friends.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dennis Miller" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-soldiers-kill-suicide-bombers-think-about-that-when-a-guys-whole/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bda/dennis-miller-1315_ass_the-soldiers-kill-suicide-bombers-think_2547073.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bda/dennis-miller-1315_ass_the-soldiers-kill-suicide-bombers-think_2547073.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bda/dennis-miller-1315_ass_the-soldiers-kill-suicide-bombers-think_2547073.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The soldiers kill suicide bombers. Think about that. When a guys whole thing in life is to kill himself and…” — Dennis Miller", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Only man is a narcissistic enough species to think that a highly evolved alien life force would travel across billions and billions of light-years- a group of aliens so intelligent, so insouciant, so utterly above it all, they feel no need whatsoever to equip their spacecraft with windows so that they can gaze out on all that celestial beauty-but then immediately upon landing, their first impulse is to get in some hick's ass with a flashlight.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dennis Miller" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/only-man-is-a-narcissistic-enough-species-to-think-that-a-highly/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b74/dennis-miller-1315_alien_only-man-is-a-narcissistic-enough-specie_462755.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b74/dennis-miller-1315_alien_only-man-is-a-narcissistic-enough-specie_462755.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b74/dennis-miller-1315_alien_only-man-is-a-narcissistic-enough-specie_462755.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Only man is a narcissistic enough species to think that a highly evolved alien life force would travel…” — Dennis Miller", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I don't know what I think of George W. Bush when he first got in, but I've grown fond of the man, and maybe it's the times we live in. They say he's not an environmentalist. But every time I see his ranch on TV, it looks pretty nice. You know something, if we all took care of our own, we'd have a great environment.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dennis Miller" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-don-t-know-what-i-think-of-george-w-bush-when-he-first-got-in-but-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41a/dennis-miller-1315_care_i-don-t-know-what-i-think-of-george-w-bu_2170399.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41a/dennis-miller-1315_care_i-don-t-know-what-i-think-of-george-w-bu_2170399.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41a/dennis-miller-1315_care_i-don-t-know-what-i-think-of-george-w-bu_2170399.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I don't know what I think of George W. 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In Dean's case, this may be the first instance where the actually entity represented by the web site has crashed more often than the site did.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dennis Miller" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/campaign-analysts-say-that-dean-has-produced-the-most-innovative-web/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd5/dennis-miller-1315_analysts_campaign-analysts-say-that-dean-has-prod_2522087.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd5/dennis-miller-1315_analysts_campaign-analysts-say-that-dean-has-prod_2522087.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd5/dennis-miller-1315_analysts_campaign-analysts-say-that-dean-has-prod_2522087.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Campaign analysts say that Dean has produced the most innovative web site in this year's presidential race…” — Dennis Miller", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it. Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dennis Miller" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/and-finally-and-most-importantly-the-next-time-we-go-to-war-don-t/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/13a/dennis-miller-1315_ads_and-finally-and-most-importantly-the-nex_1929266.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/13a/dennis-miller-1315_ads_and-finally-and-most-importantly-the-nex_1929266.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/13a/dennis-miller-1315_ads_and-finally-and-most-importantly-the-nex_1929266.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that…” — Dennis Miller", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/firsts/dennis-miller/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/firsts/dennis-miller/", "name": "Firsts Quotes by Dennis Miller", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/firsts/dennis-miller/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b68/dennis-miller-1315_birth_i-don-t-need-to-be-born-again-i-got-it-r_1858683.png" }, "description": "10 Firsts quotes by Dennis Miller. 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