--- title: "17 Firsts Quotes By David Sedaris" description: "17 Firsts quotes by David Sedaris. Plus more from David Sedaris and more Firsts sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5db/david-sedaris-333_firsts_jeremy-good-luck-on-your-first-marriage_3206207.png" --- > [Jeremy, Good luck on your first marriage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/jeremy-good-luck-on-your-first-marriage/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5db/david-sedaris-333_firsts_jeremy-good-luck-on-your-first-marriage_3206207.png) > [I started writing when I was twenty. My first book came out when I was thirty-five. But I never expected that it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-started-writing-when-i-was-twenty-my-first-book-came-out-when-i-was/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d3b/david-sedaris-333_book_i-started-writing-when-i-was-twenty-my-f_2036947.png) > [At first, writing for The New Yorker was very scary to me. I couldn't imagine anything that I would write in that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/at-first-writing-for-the-new-yorker-was-very-scary-to-me-i-couldn-t/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f1/david-sedaris-333_firsts_at-first-writing-for-the-new-yorker-was_2144866.png) > [I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-started-writing-when-i-was-twenty-and-my-first-book-came-out/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dcd/david-sedaris-333_book_i-started-writing-when-i-was-twenty-and_2484569.png) > [If finding an apartment is like falling in love, buying one is like proposing on your first date and agreeing not to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/if-finding-an-apartment-is-like-falling-in-love-buying-one-is-like/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/306/david-sedaris-333_apartment_if-finding-an-apartment-is-like-falling_3042842.png) > [I don't like to read anything on the radio for the very first time, because I don't have any notion of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-don-t-like-to-read-anything-on-the-radio-for-the-very-first-time/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cae/david-sedaris-333_first-time_i-don-t-like-to-read-anything-on-the-rad_1360741.png) > [The difference between the first time I read something and the tenth time I read something is generally pretty profound. Even if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/the-difference-between-the-first-time-i-read-something-and-the-tenth/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32e/david-sedaris-333_differences_the-difference-between-the-first-time-i_2261105.png) > [My first semester I had only nine students. Hoping they might view me as professional and well prepared, I arrived bearing name…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/my-first-semester-i-had-only-nine-students-hoping-they-might-view-me/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d0/david-sedaris-333_firsts_my-first-semester-i-had-only-nine-studen_914639.png) > [He die one day, and then he go above of my head to live with your father." He weared the long hair,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/he-die-one-day-and-then-he-go-above-of-my-head-to-live-with-your/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f98/david-sedaris-333_father_he-die-one-day-and-then-he-go-above-of-m_947634.jpg) > [I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day. At first I had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-started-writing-one-afternoon-when-i-was-twenty-and-ever-since-then/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d1/david-sedaris-333_afternoon_i-started-writing-one-afternoon-when-i-w_1065014.png) > [I tend to write things seven times before I show them to my editor. I write them seven times, then I take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-tend-to-write-things-seven-times-before-i-show-them-to-my-editor-i/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/276/david-sedaris-333_dozen_i-tend-to-write-things-seven-times-befor_768401.png) > [I was first published in the newspaper put out by School of The Art Institute of Chicago, where I was a student.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-was-first-published-in-the-newspaper-put-out-by-school-of-the-art/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf1/david-sedaris-333_art_i-was-first-published-in-the-newspaper-p_1961540.jpg) > [It can take years. With the first draft, I just write everything. With the second draft, it becomes so depressing for me,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/it-can-take-years-with-the-first-draft-i-just-write-everything-with/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d5/david-sedaris-333_depressing_it-can-take-years-with-the-first-draft-i_2466912.jpg) > [As I searched the atlas for somewhere to run to, Hugh made a case for his old stomping grounds. His first suggestion…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/as-i-searched-the-atlas-for-somewhere-to-run-to-hugh-made-a-case-for/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a4d/david-sedaris-333_africa_as-i-searched-the-atlas-for-somewhere-to_1576980.png) > [“States vote to take away my marriage rights, and even though I don’t want to get married, it tends to hurt my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/states-vote-to-take-away-my-marriage-rights-and-even-though-i-don-t/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e98/david-sedaris-333_bugs_states-vote-to-take-away-my-marriage-rig_1377292.png) > [Writing helped to have jobs that involved running around, pushing things like dish carts and wheelbarrows. It would be hard to sit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/writing-helped-to-have-jobs-that-involved-running-around-pushing/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c85/david-sedaris-333_abandon_writing-helped-to-have-jobs-that-involve_3153273.png) > [I attributed their behavior to the fact that they didn't have a TV, but television didn't teach you everything. Asking for candy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-attributed-their-behavior-to-the-fact-that-they-didn-t-have-a-tv/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a63/david-sedaris-333_alive_i-attributed-their-behavior-to-the-fact_2100057.png) ## Other authors on Firsts ## More by David Sedaris > [“Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—“A rescue snake, she’d be quick…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/plenty-of-animals-had-pets-but-few-were-more-devoted-than-the-mouse/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never get drunk…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/never-fall-asleep-in-a-dumpster-never-underestimate-a-bee-never-drive/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [“It was a father, one hand resting teapot-style on his hip, and the other - what would be the spout - formed into a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/it-was-a-father-one-hand-resting-teapot-style-on-his-hip-and-the/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [“A Japanese woman we’d met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/a-japanese-woman-we-d-met-in-paris-came-to-the-apartment-yesterday/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/one-thing-i-like-about-the-united-states-and-i-kind-of-miss-about-the/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/when-you-read-comic-material-and-people-aren-t-laughing-how-do-you/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [“You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/you-have-how-many-children-in-your-family-the-teacher-would-ask-i-m/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [“Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/like-most-seasoned-phonies-i-roundly-suspect-that-everyone-is-as/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/as-a-child-i-assumed-that-when-i-reached-adulthood-i-would-have-grown/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [“You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/you-just-take-and-take-don-t-you-out-there-with-your-thumb-in-the-air/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/in-other-parts-of-the-country-people-tried-to-stay-together-for-the/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/my-boyfriend-got-me-a-computer-three-years-ago-i-ll-admit-it-does/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [I spent months searching for some secret code before I realized that common sense has nothing to do with it. Hysteria, psychosis, torture, depression:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-spent-months-searching-for-some-secret-code-before-i-realized-that/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [I hated leaving a hole in the smoking world, and so I recruited someone to take my place. People have given me a lot…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-hated-leaving-a-hole-in-the-smoking-world-and-so-i-recruited/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [Write relentlessly, until you find your voice. Then, use it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/write-relentlessly-until-you-find-your-voice-then-use-it/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/firsts/david-sedaris/#itemlist", "name": "17 Firsts Quotes By David Sedaris", "numberOfItems": 17, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Jeremy, Good luck on your first marriage.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Sedaris" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/jeremy-good-luck-on-your-first-marriage/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5db/david-sedaris-333_firsts_jeremy-good-luck-on-your-first-marriage_3206207.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5db/david-sedaris-333_firsts_jeremy-good-luck-on-your-first-marriage_3206207.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5db/david-sedaris-333_firsts_jeremy-good-luck-on-your-first-marriage_3206207.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Jeremy, Good luck on your first marriage.” — David Sedaris", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I started writing when I was twenty. 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Hoping they might view me as professional and well prepared, I arrived bearing name tags fashioned in the shape of maple leaves.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Sedaris" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/my-first-semester-i-had-only-nine-students-hoping-they-might-view-me/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d0/david-sedaris-333_firsts_my-first-semester-i-had-only-nine-studen_914639.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d0/david-sedaris-333_firsts_my-first-semester-i-had-only-nine-studen_914639.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d0/david-sedaris-333_firsts_my-first-semester-i-had-only-nine-studen_914639.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My first semester I had only nine students. 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With the first draft, I just write everything. With the second draft, it becomes so depressing for me, because I realize that I was fooled into thinking I'd written the story. I hadn't-I had just typed for a long time. So then I have to carve out a story from the 25 or so pages. It's in there somewhere-but I have to find it. 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