--- title: "13 Feels Quotes By Gary Chapman" description: "13 Feels quotes by Gary Chapman. Plus more from Gary Chapman and more Feels sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f2/gary-chapman-1325_controlled_by-nature-most-people-are-controlled-by_693058.png" --- > [By nature, most people are controlled by their emotions. They feel sad, so they look sad.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/by-nature-most-people-are-controlled-by-their-emotions-they-feel-sad/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f2/gary-chapman-1325_controlled_by-nature-most-people-are-controlled-by_693058.png) > [I think people desperately want to feel love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-think-people-desperately-want-to-feel-love/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/703/gary-chapman-1325_desperately_i-think-people-desperately-want-to-feel_1001156.png) > [All of us blossom when we feel loved and wither when we do not feel loved.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/all-of-us-blossom-when-we-feel-loved-and-wither-when-we-do-not-feel/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff1/gary-chapman-1325_feel_all-of-us-blossom-when-we-feel-loved-and_2099879.png) > [I have been doing marriage counseling for about 15 years and I realized that what makes one person feel loved, doesn't make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-have-been-doing-marriage-counseling-for-about-15-years-and-i/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14f/gary-chapman-1325_about_i-have-been-doing-marriage-counseling-fo_2840785.png) > [Very few alcoholics get into a treatment program until they are at the end of the rope, often when they feel like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/very-few-alcoholics-get-into-a-treatment-program-until-they-are-at/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fbe/gary-chapman-1325_abusive_very-few-alcoholics-get-into-a-treatment_2321769.jpg) > [We cannot rely on our native tongue if our spouse does not understand it. If we want them to feel the love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/we-cannot-rely-on-our-native-tongue-if-our-spouse-does-not-understand/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/540/gary-chapman-1325_communicate_we-cannot-rely-on-our-native-tongue-if-o_3009449.png) > [Inside every child is an 'emotional rani's waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/inside-every-child-is-an-emotional-rani-s-waiting-to-be-filled-with/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d7/gary-chapman-1325_child_inside-every-child-is-an-emotional-rani_2845890.jpg) > [Expressing love in the right language. We tend to speak our own love language, to express love to others in a language…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/expressing-love-in-the-right-language-we-tend-to-speak-our-own-love/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ca1/gary-chapman-1325_expressing-love_expressing-love-in-the-right-language-we_2846486.png) > [Togetherness has to do with focused attention. It is giving someone your undivided attention. As humans, we have a fundamental desire to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/togetherness-has-to-do-with-focused-attention-it-is-giving-someone/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d3/gary-chapman-1325_attention_togetherness-has-to-do-with-focused-atte_3140468.png) > [Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, if you don't speak a person's primary love language, that person…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/love-can-be-expressed-and-received-in-all-five-languages-however-if/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c26/gary-chapman-1325_cake_love-can-be-expressed-and-received-in-al_2396957.png) > [Once you identify and learn to speak your spouse’s primary love language, I believe that you will have discovered the key to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/once-you-identify-and-learn-to-speak-your-spouse-s-primary-love/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc9/gary-chapman-1325_alive_once-you-identify-and-learn-to-speak-you_2906059.jpg) > [Before I discovered the concept of the 5 love languages, a bit of advice I was given was to become a student…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/before-i-discovered-the-concept-of-the-5-love-languages-a-bit-of/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70d/gary-chapman-1325_advice_before-i-discovered-the-concept-of-the-5_2700525.jpg) > [What is emotional intimacy? It is that depp sense of being connected to one another. It is feeling loved, respected and appreciated,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/what-is-emotional-intimacy-it-is-that-depp-sense-of-being-connected/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06d/gary-chapman-1325_ability_what-is-emotional-intimacy-it-is-that-de_1764735.png) ## Other authors on Feels ## More by Gary Chapman > [Marriages are always moving from one season to another. Sometimes we find ourselves in winter--discouraged, detached, and dissatisfied; other times we experience springtime, with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/marriages-are-always-moving-from-one-season-to-another-sometimes-we/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/something-in-our-nature-cries-out-to-be-loved-by-another-isolation-is/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/most-of-us-have-more-potential-than-we-will-ever-develop-what-holds/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [On the other hand, if I walk in the house, I don't even bother to find her, I just walk in the den and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/on-the-other-hand-if-i-walk-in-the-house-i-don-t-even-bother-to-find/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [“I look for three things in hiring people. The first is personal integrity, the second is intelligence, and the third is a high energy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-look-for-three-things-in-hiring-people-the-first-is-personal/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/love-is-always-freely-given-love-cannot-be-demanded-we-can-request/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [“Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/psychologist-william-james-said-that-possibly-the-deepest-human-need/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [I think that in today's world, by nature, we are all self-centered. And that often leads to selfishness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-think-that-in-today-s-world-by-nature-we-are-all-self-centered-and/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Sometimes when the spouse is really the culprit, it is hard to admit what you consider your little failures, but if you are going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/sometimes-when-the-spouse-is-really-the-culprit-it-is-hard-to-admit/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [“There is a third truth, which only the mature lover will be able to hear. My spouse’s criticisms about my behavior provide me with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/there-is-a-third-truth-which-only-the-mature-lover-will-be-able-to/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [ The getting out part \[of advise\] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/the-getting-out-part-of-advise-may-well-be-true-because-if-you-have/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [ I wrote this book \[ Desperate Marriages\] because of my own marriage. My wife and I struggled greatly in the early years of marriage.… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-wrote-this-book-desperate-marriages-because-of-my-own-marriage-my/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [As a senior in high school, I had a strong sense that God wanted me in some kind of ministry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/as-a-senior-in-high-school-i-had-a-strong-sense-that-god-wanted-me-in/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [We all desperately need love. If a spouse in a difficult marriage will learn the love language of that spouse, and they will, with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/we-all-desperately-need-love-if-a-spouse-in-a-difficult-marriage-will/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [“If acts of service do not come naturally for you, it is still a love language worth acquiring. It is a way of expressing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/if-acts-of-service-do-not-come-naturally-for-you-it-is-still-a-love/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feels/gary-chapman/#itemlist", "name": "13 Feels Quotes By Gary Chapman", "numberOfItems": 13, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "By nature, most people are controlled by their emotions. 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The same is true with those who are physically and verbally abusive.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/very-few-alcoholics-get-into-a-treatment-program-until-they-are-at/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fbe/gary-chapman-1325_abusive_very-few-alcoholics-get-into-a-treatment_2321769.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fbe/gary-chapman-1325_abusive_very-few-alcoholics-get-into-a-treatment_2321769.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fbe/gary-chapman-1325_abusive_very-few-alcoholics-get-into-a-treatment_2321769.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Very few alcoholics get into a treatment program until they are at the end of the rope, often when they feel…” — Gary Chapman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "We cannot rely on our native tongue if our spouse does not understand it. If we want them to feel the love we are trying to communicate, we must express it in his or her primary love language.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/we-cannot-rely-on-our-native-tongue-if-our-spouse-does-not-understand/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/540/gary-chapman-1325_communicate_we-cannot-rely-on-our-native-tongue-if-o_3009449.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/540/gary-chapman-1325_communicate_we-cannot-rely-on-our-native-tongue-if-o_3009449.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/540/gary-chapman-1325_communicate_we-cannot-rely-on-our-native-tongue-if-o_3009449.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“We cannot rely on our native tongue if our spouse does not understand it. If we want them to feel the love…” — Gary Chapman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Inside every child is an 'emotional rani's waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty 'love tank", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/inside-every-child-is-an-emotional-rani-s-waiting-to-be-filled-with/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d7/gary-chapman-1325_child_inside-every-child-is-an-emotional-rani_2845890.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d7/gary-chapman-1325_child_inside-every-child-is-an-emotional-rani_2845890.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d7/gary-chapman-1325_child_inside-every-child-is-an-emotional-rani_2845890.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Inside every child is an 'emotional rani's waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved…” — Gary Chapman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Expressing love in the right language. We tend to speak our own love language, to express love to others in a language that would make us feel loved. But if it is not his/her primary love language, it will not mean to them what it would mean to us.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/expressing-love-in-the-right-language-we-tend-to-speak-our-own-love/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ca1/gary-chapman-1325_expressing-love_expressing-love-in-the-right-language-we_2846486.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ca1/gary-chapman-1325_expressing-love_expressing-love-in-the-right-language-we_2846486.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ca1/gary-chapman-1325_expressing-love_expressing-love-in-the-right-language-we_2846486.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Expressing love in the right language. We tend to speak our own love language, to express love to others in…” — Gary Chapman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Togetherness has to do with focused attention. It is giving someone your undivided attention. As humans, we have a fundamental desire to connect with others. We may be in the presence of people all day long, but we do not always feel connected.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/togetherness-has-to-do-with-focused-attention-it-is-giving-someone/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d3/gary-chapman-1325_attention_togetherness-has-to-do-with-focused-atte_3140468.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d3/gary-chapman-1325_attention_togetherness-has-to-do-with-focused-atte_3140468.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d3/gary-chapman-1325_attention_togetherness-has-to-do-with-focused-atte_3140468.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Togetherness has to do with focused attention. It is giving someone your undivided attention. As humans, we…” — Gary Chapman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, if you don't speak a person's primary love language, that person will not feel loved, even though you may be speaking the other four. Once you are speaking his or her primary love language fluently, then you can sprinkle in the other four and they will be like icing on the cake.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/love-can-be-expressed-and-received-in-all-five-languages-however-if/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c26/gary-chapman-1325_cake_love-can-be-expressed-and-received-in-al_2396957.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c26/gary-chapman-1325_cake_love-can-be-expressed-and-received-in-al_2396957.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c26/gary-chapman-1325_cake_love-can-be-expressed-and-received-in-al_2396957.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, if you don't speak a person's primary…” — Gary Chapman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Once you identify and learn to speak your spouse’s primary love language, I believe that you will have discovered the key to a long-lasting, loving marriage. Love need not evaporate after the wedding, but in order to keep it alive most of us will have to put forth effort to learn a secondary love language. We cannot rely on our native tongue if our spouse does not understand it. If we want them to feel the love we are trying to communicate, we must express it in his or her primary love language.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/once-you-identify-and-learn-to-speak-your-spouse-s-primary-love/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc9/gary-chapman-1325_alive_once-you-identify-and-learn-to-speak-you_2906059.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc9/gary-chapman-1325_alive_once-you-identify-and-learn-to-speak-you_2906059.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc9/gary-chapman-1325_alive_once-you-identify-and-learn-to-speak-you_2906059.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Once you identify and learn to speak your spouse’s primary love language, I believe that you will have…” — Gary Chapman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Before I discovered the concept of the 5 love languages, a bit of advice I was given was to become a student of my wife and to take time to learn what makes her feel loved. I soon learned that what makes her feel loved may not always be the thing I want to do because it may not come natural to me. But learning to love her in the way that makes her feel loved is a greater demonstration of my love for her, because I've chosen to do it with a goal of pleasing her.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/before-i-discovered-the-concept-of-the-5-love-languages-a-bit-of/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70d/gary-chapman-1325_advice_before-i-discovered-the-concept-of-the-5_2700525.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70d/gary-chapman-1325_advice_before-i-discovered-the-concept-of-the-5_2700525.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70d/gary-chapman-1325_advice_before-i-discovered-the-concept-of-the-5_2700525.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Before I discovered the concept of the 5 love languages, a bit of advice I was given was to become a student…” — Gary Chapman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "What is emotional intimacy? It is that depp sense of being connected to one another. It is feeling loved, respected and appreciated, while at the same time seeking to reciprocate. To feel loved is to have the sense that the other person genuinely cares about your well-being. Respect has to do with feeling that your potential spouse has positive regard for your personhood, intellect, abilities and personality. Appreciation is that inner sense that your partner values your contribution to the relationship.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/what-is-emotional-intimacy-it-is-that-depp-sense-of-being-connected/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06d/gary-chapman-1325_ability_what-is-emotional-intimacy-it-is-that-de_1764735.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06d/gary-chapman-1325_ability_what-is-emotional-intimacy-it-is-that-de_1764735.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06d/gary-chapman-1325_ability_what-is-emotional-intimacy-it-is-that-de_1764735.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“What is emotional intimacy? It is that depp sense of being connected to one another. It is feeling loved…” — Gary Chapman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feels/gary-chapman/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feels/gary-chapman/", "name": "Feels Quotes by Gary Chapman", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feels/gary-chapman/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f2/gary-chapman-1325_controlled_by-nature-most-people-are-controlled-by_693058.png" }, "description": "13 Feels quotes by Gary Chapman. 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