---
title: "5 Fats Quotes By Joan Rivers"
description: "5 Fats quotes by Joan Rivers. Plus more from Joan Rivers and more Fats sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/773/joan-rivers-669_broke_i-m-so-fat-and-i-m-so-depressed-last-nig_346634.png"
---

> [I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/i-m-so-fat-and-i-m-so-depressed-last-night-i-tried-to-hang-myself-but/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/773/joan-rivers-669_broke_i-m-so-fat-and-i-m-so-depressed-last-nig_346634.png)

> [Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/elizabeth-taylor-s-so-fat-she-puts-mayonnaise-on-aspirin/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f88/joan-rivers-669_aspirin_elizabeth-taylor-s-so-fat-she-puts-mayon_666074.png)

> [I hate thin people; 'Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/i-hate-thin-people-oh-does-the-tampon-make-me-look-fat/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/016/joan-rivers-669_aging_i-hate-thin-people-oh-does-the-tampon-ma_912483.png)

> [Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/elizabeth-taylor-was-so-fat-that-whenever-she-went-to-london-in-a-red/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d1/joan-rivers-669_boards_elizabeth-taylor-was-so-fat-that-wheneve_1249084.png)

> [She's so fat, she's my two best friends.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/she-s-so-fat-she-s-my-two-best-friends/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/141/joan-rivers-669_best_she-s-so-fat-she-s-my-two-best-friends-2_2212375.png)

## Other authors on Fats

## More by Joan Rivers

> [I didn't want to do 'Fashion Police' because I thought, 'This is stupid, this is beneath me, who wants to talk about fashion?' It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/i-didn-t-want-to-do-fashion-police-because-i-thought-this-is-stupid/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

> [I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/i-was-getting-dressed-and-a-peeping-tom-looked-in-the-window-took-a/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

> [All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/all-my-way-through-college-i-worked-my-way-as-a-window-dresser-for/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

> [Everyone thinks Angelina Jolie was the first celebrity baby hoarder, but she wasn't. Before Angelina there was Mia Farrow. Mia had an entire farm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/everyone-thinks-angelina-jolie-was-the-first-celebrity-baby-hoarder/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

> [I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/i-have-no-sex-appeal-which-kills-me-the-only-way-i-can-ever-hear/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

> [Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/life-goes-by-fast-enjoy-it-calm-down-it-s-all-funny/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

> [If you hate something, you hate it, and if you like something or somebody, you like it, but tell the truth. And most celebrities…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/if-you-hate-something-you-hate-it-and-if-you-like-something-or/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

> [I have no line. If I think it's funny, it's funny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/i-have-no-line-if-i-think-it-s-funny-it-s-funny/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

> [I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/i-know-now-that-everybody-in-the-arts-is-forever-a-beginner/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

> [Why women don't blink during foreplay... not enough time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/why-women-don-t-blink-during-foreplay-not-enough-time/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

> [My breasts are so low now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/my-breasts-are-so-low-now-i-can-have-a-mammogram-and-a-pedicure-at/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

> [I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/i-love-vines-you-make-this-6-4-second-drama-and-you-can-reach-6/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

> [Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink"? It's like talking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/grandchildren-can-be-annoying-how-many-times-can-you-go-and-the-cow/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

> [I'm a New York girl. I come out of New York theater.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/i-m-a-new-york-girl-i-come-out-of-new-york-theater/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

> [All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/all-babies-look-like-ren-e-zellweger-pushed-against-a-glass-window/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

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