---
title: "5 Fats Quotes By Jim Gaffigan"
description: "5 Fats quotes by Jim Gaffigan. Plus more from Jim Gaffigan and more Fats sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f42/jim-gaffigan-580_applause_when-you-hear-bacon-cooking-that-sizzlin_102178.jpg"
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> [When you hear bacon cooking…that sizzling sound isn't the fat cooking…that's applause.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/when-you-hear-bacon-cooking-that-sizzling-sound-isn-t-the-fat-cooking/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f42/jim-gaffigan-580_applause_when-you-hear-bacon-cooking-that-sizzlin_102178.jpg)

> [I've never tried fatback. Probably 'cause it's called fatback. I don't know which word creeps me out more: fat or back. Why…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/i-ve-never-tried-fatback-probably-cause-it-s-called-fatback-i-don-t/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d86/jim-gaffigan-580_causes_i-ve-never-tried-fatback-probably-cause_1434684.jpg)

> [I'm getting fat ... as I planned. Luckily, my gut is intentional. I'm actually preparing for a big role. Sure, it's a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/i-m-getting-fat-as-i-planned-luckily-my-gut-is-intentional-i-m-2/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/324/jim-gaffigan-580_bigs_i-m-getting-fat-as-i-planned-luckily-my_2024400.jpg)

> [I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there. "All right, I'm standing in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/i-can-t-believe-we-got-grades-in-gym-class-i-ve-never-used-anything-i/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bf7/jim-gaffigan-580_balls_i-can-t-believe-we-got-grades-in-gym-cla_2246295.jpg)

> [My wife and I, we work together. And we wrote this book, "Dad Is Fat." And in the book, I was encouraged…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/my-wife-and-i-we-work-together-and-we-wrote-this-book-dad-is-fat-and/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a7/jim-gaffigan-580_book_my-wife-and-i-we-work-together-and-we-wr_2954207.jpg)

## Other authors on Fats

## More by Jim Gaffigan

> [“Cousins are like celebrities for little kids.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/cousins-are-like-celebrities-for-little-kids/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

> [Stand-up comedy in the end, unlike the rest of the entertainment industry, is a meritocracy. There's a certain level of undeniability you can work…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/stand-up-comedy-in-the-end-unlike-the-rest-of-the-entertainment/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

> [I think growing up in Indiana prepares anyone for a life in comedy. I do feel like there is a certain kind of self-effacing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/i-think-growing-up-in-indiana-prepares-anyone-for-a-life-in-comedy-i/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

> [Besides hot pockets keeps introducing new products every 10 minutes so I always have new stuff on the topic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/besides-hot-pockets-keeps-introducing-new-products-every-10-minutes/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

> [“The song goes, “Morning has broken,” and I’m pretty sure my children broke it. Like everything else they break, if they did break it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/the-song-goes-morning-has-broken-and-i-m-pretty-sure-my-children/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

> [I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/i-am-single-i-don-t-drink-it-s-kind-of-hard-to-get-a-woman-buzzed/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

> [Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/babies-and-toddlers-are-mostly-what-i-ve-been-exposed-to-at-this/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

> [Isn't it strange -- when you're single, all you see is couples, and when you're part of a couple, all you see are hookers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/isn-t-it-strange-when-you-re-single-all-you-see-is-couples-and-when/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

> [I usually don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but it is 4th of July. And I need the energy if I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/i-usually-don-t-have-a-burger-a-brat-and-a-steak-but-it-is-4th-of/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

> [“If you complain about how you spend your Saturdays taking your kid to birthday parties, that means you are taking your kid to birthday…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/if-you-complain-about-how-you-spend-your-saturdays-taking-your-kid-to/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

> [Ever eat so much you feel sick? Isn't that the best?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/ever-eat-so-much-you-feel-sick-isn-t-that-the-best/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

> [I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/i-believe-that-comedians-do-what-they-do-and-then-they-get-credit-or/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

> [“Being a parent is a selfless adventure. The worldview of “Take care of yourself first” is no longer logical to a sane person if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/being-a-parent-is-a-selfless-adventure-the-worldview-of-take-care-of/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

> [“Occasionally, a dog will be presented as some training method for having a baby. "My girlfriend and I got a dog. We are going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/occasionally-a-dog-will-be-presented-as-some-training-method-for/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

> [Cookies at both of them. The cookies are probably better at Letterman though.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/cookies-at-both-of-them-the-cookies-are-probably-better-at-letterman/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

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