--- title: "20 False-self Quotes by 10 authors" description: "Browse 20 False-self quotes by 10 authors. Discover the best False-self sayings and thoughts." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ba/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_tragedy-always-moves-our-story-forward-i_3004525.png" --- > [“Tragedy always moves our story forward in a way shalom could never accomplish.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/tragedy-always-moves-our-story-forward-in-a-way-shalom-could-never/) [Dan B. Allender](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-b-allender/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ba/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_tragedy-always-moves-our-story-forward-i_3004525.png) > [“The ultimate barrier against love is the barrier of the constructed self.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/the-ultimate-barrier-against-love-is-the-barrier-of-the-constructed/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/026/vironika-tugaleva-2648_authentic-self_the-ultimate-barrier-against-love-is-the_1103180.jpg) > [“There's no weakness as great as false strength.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stefan-molyneux/there-s-no-weakness-as-great-as-false-strength/) [Stefan Molyneux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stefan-molyneux/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dac/stefan-molyneux-1819_abuse_there-s-no-weakness-as-great-as-false-st_1670830.png) > [“I imagine everyone wears layered masks, and parades around a variety or panoply of false selves depending on the occasion.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendy-hoffman/i-imagine-everyone-wears-layered-masks-and-parades-around-a-variety-2/) [Wendy Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendy-hoffman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0aa/wendy-hoffman-43498_false-self_i-imagine-everyone-wears-layered-masks-a_2852439.jpg) > [“If we enter our story in heartache, we will hear the whisper of the name that will one day be ours.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/if-we-enter-our-story-in-heartache-we-will-hear-the-whisper-of-the/) [Dan B. Allender](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-b-allender/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee7/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_if-we-enter-our-story-in-heartache-we-wi_1826709.png) > [“Our story will gain momentum and depth only to the degree that we honestly embrace both loss and fear.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/our-story-will-gain-momentum-and-depth-only-to-the-degree-that-we/) [Dan B. Allender](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-b-allender/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/372/dan-b-allender-8754_embrace_our-story-will-gain-momentum-and-depth-o_3200585.png) > [“Beginning in infancy (or even before) each of us, in response to perceived threats to our well-being, develops a false self: a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cynthia-bourgeault/beginning-in-infancy-or-even-before-each-of-us-in-response-to/) [Cynthia Bourgeault](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cynthia-bourgeault/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ec/cynthia-bourgeault-36188_emotional-investment_beginning-in-infancy-or-even-before-each_834439.jpg) > [ “The shattering \[of shalom\] moves us from a place of shalom to a place that is harsh and unrelenting. The shattering brings… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/the-shattering-of-shalom-moves-us-from-a-place-of-shalom-to-a-place/) [Dan B. Allender](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-b-allender/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9c9/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_the-shattering-of-shalom-moves-us-from-a_2098623.png) > [“We dislike matter, that is ourselves, because we are destined to matter, because anonymous matter is called death. Perhaps it isn't matter…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-l-ne-cixous/we-dislike-matter-that-is-ourselves-because-we-are-destined-to-matter/) [Hélène Cixous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/h-l-ne-cixous/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/403/h-l-ne-cixous-3823_death_we-dislike-matter-that-is-ourselves-beca_2435705.jpg) > [“In every story, in every life, there are moments of death that take away our name and rename us as strangers, orphans…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/in-every-story-in-every-life-there-are-moments-of-death-that-take/) [Dan B. Allender](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-b-allender/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb9/dan-b-allender-8754_death_in-every-story-in-every-life-there-are-m_1928061.png) > [“...you can be assured that the inciting events call for you to sacrifice your comfort and ease in order for your story…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/you-can-be-assured-that-the-inciting-events-call-for-you-to-sacrifice/) [Dan B. Allender](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-b-allender/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/964/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_you-can-be-assured-that-the-inciting-eve_2090419.png) > [“One of our greatest failures in our busy, driven culture is that we don't celebrate the temporary untying of a complex narrative...What…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/one-of-our-greatest-failures-in-our-busy-driven-culture-is-that-we/) [Dan B. Allender](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-b-allender/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c9/dan-b-allender-8754_another-day_one-of-our-greatest-failures-in-our-busy_708754.jpg) > [“In those moments of unnaming when we have lost ourselves, we must remember to return to our past redemptions to find God's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/in-those-moments-of-unnaming-when-we-have-lost-ourselves-we-must/) [Dan B. Allender](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-b-allender/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d3c/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_in-those-moments-of-unnaming-when-we-hav_3232116.png) > [“Our need to be "greater than" or "less than" has been a defense against toxic shame. A shameful act was committed upon…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maureen-brady/our-need-to-be-greater-than-or-less-than-has-been-a-defense-against/) Maureen Brady [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/75b/maureen-brady-118321_abuse-survivors_our-need-to-be-greater-than-or-less-than_1895235.jpg) > [“We're in the presence of a good story when the flaw that shatters shalom is also the doorway to redemption... Whether it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/we-re-in-the-presence-of-a-good-story-when-the-flaw-that-shatters/) [Dan B. Allender](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-b-allender/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cc9/dan-b-allender-8754_bible_we-re-in-the-presence-of-a-good-story-wh_496384.jpg) > [“Your True Self is who you objectively are from the beginning, in the mind and heart of God, "the face you had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-rohr/your-true-self-is-who-you-objectively-are-from-the-beginning-in-the/) [Richard Rohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-rohr/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/33f/richard-rohr-618_false-self_your-true-self-is-who-you-objectively-ar_1695800.png) > [“So we grow up in a sea of stories told in a way that fits what we want others to know about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/so-we-grow-up-in-a-sea-of-stories-told-in-a-way-that-fits-what-we/) [Dan B. Allender](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-b-allender/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/257/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_so-we-grow-up-in-a-sea-of-stories-told-i_2218594.jpg) > [“I imagine everyone wears layered masks, and parades around a variety or panoply of false selves depending on the occasion. Normal people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendy-hoffman/i-imagine-everyone-wears-layered-masks-and-parades-around-a-variety/) [Wendy Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendy-hoffman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c0/wendy-hoffman-43498_false-self_i-imagine-everyone-wears-layered-masks-a_2671937.jpg) > [“Healthy people understand that others have the capacity to choose to end relationships and it serves as motivation for them to learn…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendy-mahill/healthy-people-understand-that-others-have-the-capacity-to-choose-to/) Wendy Mahill [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b82/wendy-mahill-139245_abuse-survivors_healthy-people-understand-that-others-ha_595492.jpg) > [“Secularity is a way of being dependent on the responses of our milieu. The secular or false self is the self which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-j-m-nouwen/secularity-is-a-way-of-being-dependent-on-the-responses-of-our-milieu/) [Henri J.M. Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-j-m-nouwen/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9cc/henri-j-m-nouwen-4122_false-self_secularity-is-a-way-of-being-dependent-o_726260.jpg) ## Top authors on False-self - [Dan B. Allender 10 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/false-self/dan-b-allender/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/false-self/#itemlist", "name": "False-self Quotes", "numberOfItems": 20, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Tragedy always moves our story forward in a way shalom could never accomplish.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dan B. Allender" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/tragedy-always-moves-our-story-forward-in-a-way-shalom-could-never/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ba/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_tragedy-always-moves-our-story-forward-i_3004525.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ba/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_tragedy-always-moves-our-story-forward-i_3004525.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ba/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_tragedy-always-moves-our-story-forward-i_3004525.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Tragedy always moves our story forward in a way shalom could never accomplish.” — Dan B. 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Allender" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/if-we-enter-our-story-in-heartache-we-will-hear-the-whisper-of-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee7/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_if-we-enter-our-story-in-heartache-we-wi_1826709.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee7/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_if-we-enter-our-story-in-heartache-we-wi_1826709.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee7/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_if-we-enter-our-story-in-heartache-we-wi_1826709.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If we enter our story in heartache, we will hear the whisper of the name that will one day be ours.” — Dan B. Allender", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Our story will gain momentum and depth only to the degree that we honestly embrace both loss and fear.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dan B. Allender" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/our-story-will-gain-momentum-and-depth-only-to-the-degree-that-we/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/372/dan-b-allender-8754_embrace_our-story-will-gain-momentum-and-depth-o_3200585.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/372/dan-b-allender-8754_embrace_our-story-will-gain-momentum-and-depth-o_3200585.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/372/dan-b-allender-8754_embrace_our-story-will-gain-momentum-and-depth-o_3200585.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Our story will gain momentum and depth only to the degree that we honestly embrace both loss and fear.” — Dan B. Allender", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Beginning in infancy (or even before) each of us, in response to perceived threats to our well-being, develops a false self: a set of protective behaviors driven at root by a sense of need and lack. The essence of the false self is driven, addictive energy, consisting of tremendous emotional investment in compensatory \"emotional programs for happiness,\" as Keating calls them.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Cynthia Bourgeault" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cynthia-bourgeault/beginning-in-infancy-or-even-before-each-of-us-in-response-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ec/cynthia-bourgeault-36188_emotional-investment_beginning-in-infancy-or-even-before-each_834439.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ec/cynthia-bourgeault-36188_emotional-investment_beginning-in-infancy-or-even-before-each_834439.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ec/cynthia-bourgeault-36188_emotional-investment_beginning-in-infancy-or-even-before-each_834439.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Beginning in infancy (or even before) each of us, in response to perceived threats to our well-being…” — Cynthia Bourgeault", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“The shattering [of shalom] moves us from a place of shalom to a place that is harsh and unrelenting. The shattering brings us a keen awareness that we are alone and in danger. We are on our own.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dan B. Allender" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/the-shattering-of-shalom-moves-us-from-a-place-of-shalom-to-a-place/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9c9/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_the-shattering-of-shalom-moves-us-from-a_2098623.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9c9/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_the-shattering-of-shalom-moves-us-from-a_2098623.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9c9/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_the-shattering-of-shalom-moves-us-from-a_2098623.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The shattering [of shalom] moves us from a place of shalom to a place that is harsh and unrelenting. The…” — Dan B. Allender", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“We dislike matter, that is ourselves, because we are destined to matter, because anonymous matter is called death. Perhaps it isn't matter we dislike, perhaps it's anonymity. The anonymity to which we are destined - the loss of name - is what we repress at any price.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Hélène Cixous" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-l-ne-cixous/we-dislike-matter-that-is-ourselves-because-we-are-destined-to-matter/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/403/h-l-ne-cixous-3823_death_we-dislike-matter-that-is-ourselves-beca_2435705.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/403/h-l-ne-cixous-3823_death_we-dislike-matter-that-is-ourselves-beca_2435705.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/403/h-l-ne-cixous-3823_death_we-dislike-matter-that-is-ourselves-beca_2435705.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“We dislike matter, that is ourselves, because we are destined to matter, because anonymous matter is called…” — Hélène Cixous", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“In every story, in every life, there are moments of death that take away our name and rename us as strangers, orphans or widows. At the moment of being unnamed, we are thrown into our story. We lose the name Friend and are given the name Reject.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dan B. Allender" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/in-every-story-in-every-life-there-are-moments-of-death-that-take/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb9/dan-b-allender-8754_death_in-every-story-in-every-life-there-are-m_1928061.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb9/dan-b-allender-8754_death_in-every-story-in-every-life-there-are-m_1928061.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb9/dan-b-allender-8754_death_in-every-story-in-every-life-there-are-m_1928061.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“In every story, in every life, there are moments of death that take away our name and rename us as…” — Dan B. Allender", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“...you can be assured that the inciting events call for you to sacrifice your comfort and ease in order for your story to move forward. It's easy to ignore such inciting events...It's easy to flee your story.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dan B. Allender" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/you-can-be-assured-that-the-inciting-events-call-for-you-to-sacrifice/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/964/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_you-can-be-assured-that-the-inciting-eve_2090419.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/964/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_you-can-be-assured-that-the-inciting-eve_2090419.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/964/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_you-can-be-assured-that-the-inciting-eve_2090419.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“...you can be assured that the inciting events call for you to sacrifice your comfort and ease in order for…” — Dan B. Allender", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“One of our greatest failures in our busy, driven culture is that we don't celebrate the temporary untying of a complex narrative...What is your style of celebrating an ending? Do you only throw large parties after someone graduates, gets married, or dies? If so, then all the other endings in your story are lost in the wake of another day's busyness. Perhaps one of the reasons you and I don't party well, is that we don't know what to do with the tragedies that linger in our life...Can you imagine receiving an invitation \"JOIN ME IN A CELEBRATION OF NO LONGER BELIEVING I'M STUPID\"? We don't allow endings to be noted, let alone celebrated. Therefore we never allow denouement to be invigorate the upward movement of a new story.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dan B. Allender" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/one-of-our-greatest-failures-in-our-busy-driven-culture-is-that-we/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c9/dan-b-allender-8754_another-day_one-of-our-greatest-failures-in-our-busy_708754.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c9/dan-b-allender-8754_another-day_one-of-our-greatest-failures-in-our-busy_708754.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c9/dan-b-allender-8754_another-day_one-of-our-greatest-failures-in-our-busy_708754.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“One of our greatest failures in our busy, driven culture is that we don't celebrate the temporary untying of…” — Dan B. Allender", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“In those moments of unnaming when we have lost ourselves, we must remember to return to our past redemptions to find God's mark of glory on our abandonment, betrayal, and shame. We wrongly believe that we will be happy if we can escape the past. But without our past we are hollow and plastic beings who have only common names and conventional stories. When we enter into our story at the point we lost our name, we are most likely to hear the whisper of our new name.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dan B. Allender" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/in-those-moments-of-unnaming-when-we-have-lost-ourselves-we-must/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d3c/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_in-those-moments-of-unnaming-when-we-hav_3232116.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d3c/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_in-those-moments-of-unnaming-when-we-hav_3232116.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d3c/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_in-those-moments-of-unnaming-when-we-hav_3232116.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“In those moments of unnaming when we have lost ourselves, we must remember to return to our past redemptions…” — Dan B. Allender", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Our need to be \"greater than\" or \"less than\" has been a defense against toxic shame. A shameful act was committed upon us. The perpetrator walked away, leaving us with the shame. We absorbed the notion that we are somehow defective. To cover for this we constructed a false self, a masked self. And it is this self that is the overachiever or the dunce, the tramp or the puritan, the powermonger or the pathetic loser.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Maureen Brady" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maureen-brady/our-need-to-be-greater-than-or-less-than-has-been-a-defense-against/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/75b/maureen-brady-118321_abuse-survivors_our-need-to-be-greater-than-or-less-than_1895235.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/75b/maureen-brady-118321_abuse-survivors_our-need-to-be-greater-than-or-less-than_1895235.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/75b/maureen-brady-118321_abuse-survivors_our-need-to-be-greater-than-or-less-than_1895235.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Our need to be \"greater than\" or \"less than\" has been a defense against toxic shame. A shameful act was…” — Maureen Brady", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“We're in the presence of a good story when the flaw that shatters shalom is also the doorway to redemption... Whether it be our own flaw or the sin of others, God uses the raw material of sin to create the edifice of his redeemed glory. The point cannot be overemphasized: your plight is also your redemption. The Bible assumes that its stories are also our story... We are Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Their stories are a paradigm of our own. Each of us is called, redeemed, and exiled - again and again.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dan B. Allender" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/we-re-in-the-presence-of-a-good-story-when-the-flaw-that-shatters/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cc9/dan-b-allender-8754_bible_we-re-in-the-presence-of-a-good-story-wh_496384.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cc9/dan-b-allender-8754_bible_we-re-in-the-presence-of-a-good-story-wh_496384.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cc9/dan-b-allender-8754_bible_we-re-in-the-presence-of-a-good-story-wh_496384.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“We're in the presence of a good story when the flaw that shatters shalom is also the doorway to…” — Dan B. Allender", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Your True Self is who you objectively are from the beginning, in the mind and heart of God, \"the face you had before you were born,\" as the Zen masters say. It is your substantial self, your absolute identify, which can never be gained nor lost by any technique, group affiliation, morality, or formula whatsoever. The surrendering of our false self, which we have usually taken for our absolute identity, yet is merely a relative identity, is the necessary suffering needed to find \"the pearl of great price\" that is always hidden inside this lovely but passing shell.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Richard Rohr" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-rohr/your-true-self-is-who-you-objectively-are-from-the-beginning-in-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/33f/richard-rohr-618_false-self_your-true-self-is-who-you-objectively-ar_1695800.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/33f/richard-rohr-618_false-self_your-true-self-is-who-you-objectively-ar_1695800.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/33f/richard-rohr-618_false-self_your-true-self-is-who-you-objectively-ar_1695800.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Your True Self is who you objectively are from the beginning, in the mind and heart of God, \"the face you…” — Richard Rohr", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 17, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“So we grow up in a sea of stories told in a way that fits what we want others to know about us. The stories told in most families are a kind of propaganda. The tragedy is that often these stories are simply a form of dis-information... But our families name us without knowing the consequences. So our life is a journey to discover our true name, though; sadly many of us never choose to begin that search.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dan B. Allender" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-b-allender/so-we-grow-up-in-a-sea-of-stories-told-in-a-way-that-fits-what-we/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/257/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_so-we-grow-up-in-a-sea-of-stories-told-i_2218594.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/257/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_so-we-grow-up-in-a-sea-of-stories-told-i_2218594.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/257/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_so-we-grow-up-in-a-sea-of-stories-told-i_2218594.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“So we grow up in a sea of stories told in a way that fits what we want others to know about us. The stories…” — Dan B. Allender", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 18, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I imagine everyone wears layered masks, and parades around a variety or panoply of false selves depending on the occasion. Normal people do that out of their own insecurities and ambitions. Mind-controlled people are hollow because their minds were taken away from them. Their controllers instruct these shells of people about what to do and when. Theirs is institutionalized, manufactured falsity.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Wendy Hoffman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendy-hoffman/i-imagine-everyone-wears-layered-masks-and-parades-around-a-variety/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c0/wendy-hoffman-43498_false-self_i-imagine-everyone-wears-layered-masks-a_2671937.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c0/wendy-hoffman-43498_false-self_i-imagine-everyone-wears-layered-masks-a_2671937.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c0/wendy-hoffman-43498_false-self_i-imagine-everyone-wears-layered-masks-a_2671937.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I imagine everyone wears layered masks, and parades around a variety or panoply of false selves depending on…” — Wendy Hoffman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 19, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Healthy people understand that others have the capacity to choose to end relationships and it serves as motivation for them to learn to relate in healthy and loving ways. However, when we are driven by shame, we don't just fear losing a relationship, but we live in terror that if we let anyone really get to know us, we would never be desired, pursued, or loved. In us, that fear can be worked out in the development of unhealthy denial, workaholism, perfectionism, chameleon-type behavior, and sadly, even revictimization... When we live in denial or present a false self out of fear... we will do anything to be accepted by people... When we begin to tell the truth about what happened to us we also begin the process of turning about from this type of idolatry... When we begin to tear away our layers of illegitimate shame... When our own vision is not distorted by our shame we can discern what was our responsibility and what wasn't.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Wendy Mahill" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendy-mahill/healthy-people-understand-that-others-have-the-capacity-to-choose-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b82/wendy-mahill-139245_abuse-survivors_healthy-people-understand-that-others-ha_595492.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b82/wendy-mahill-139245_abuse-survivors_healthy-people-understand-that-others-ha_595492.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b82/wendy-mahill-139245_abuse-survivors_healthy-people-understand-that-others-ha_595492.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Healthy people understand that others have the capacity to choose to end relationships and it serves as…” — Wendy Mahill", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 20, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Secularity is a way of being dependent on the responses of our milieu. The secular or false self is the self which is fabricated, as Thomas Merton says, by social compulsions. 'Compulsive' is indeed the best adjective for the false self. It points to the need for ongoing and increasing affirmation. Who am I? I am the one who is liked, praised, admired, disliked, hated or despised. Whether I am a pianist, a businessman or a minister, what matters is how I am perceived by my world. If being busy is a good thing, then I must be busy. If having money is a sign of real freedom, then I must claim my money. If knowing many people proves my importance, I will have to make the necessary contacts. The compulsion manifests itself in the lurking fear of failure and the steady urge to prevent this by gathering more of the same - more work, more money, more friends.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Henri J.M. Nouwen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-j-m-nouwen/secularity-is-a-way-of-being-dependent-on-the-responses-of-our-milieu/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9cc/henri-j-m-nouwen-4122_false-self_secularity-is-a-way-of-being-dependent-o_726260.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9cc/henri-j-m-nouwen-4122_false-self_secularity-is-a-way-of-being-dependent-o_726260.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9cc/henri-j-m-nouwen-4122_false-self_secularity-is-a-way-of-being-dependent-o_726260.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Secularity is a way of being dependent on the responses of our milieu. The secular or false self is the self…” — Henri J.M. Nouwen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/false-self/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/false-self/", "name": "False-self Quotes", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/false-self/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ba/dan-b-allender-8754_false-self_tragedy-always-moves-our-story-forward-i_3004525.png" }, "description": "Browse 20 False-self quotes by 10 authors. 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