---
title: "6 Episodes Quotes By John Mulaney"
description: "6 Episodes quotes by John Mulaney. Plus more from John Mulaney and more Episodes sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5a/john-mulaney-7291_chasing_with-the-first-episode-of-john-mulaney-s_268266.jpg"
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> [ With the first episode \[of John Mulaney Show\] I tell a story that happened to me accidentally chasing a woman down the… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/with-the-first-episode-of-john-mulaney-show-i-tell-a-story-that/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5a/john-mulaney-7291_chasing_with-the-first-episode-of-john-mulaney-s_268266.jpg)

> [An episode that is near and dear to my heart is the entire cast in one room for the night because we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/an-episode-that-is-near-and-dear-to-my-heart-is-the-entire-cast-in/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ba/john-mulaney-7291_apartment_an-episode-that-is-near-and-dear-to-my-h_864038.jpg)

> ["The Doula" was and is a very, very special episode to me because I think it's very funny and very weird and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/the-doula-was-and-is-a-very-very-special-episode-to-me-because-i/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/670/john-mulaney-7291_different_the-doula-was-and-is-a-very-very-special_993164.jpg)

> [I wish I could go tell 12-year-old me like I don't worry that you just fainted in front of all the girls,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/i-wish-i-could-go-tell-12-year-old-me-like-i-don-t-worry-that-you/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/972/john-mulaney-7291_able_i-wish-i-could-go-tell-12-year-old-me-li_1745393.jpg)

> [ There's \[John Mulaney Show\] jokes that I have in stand up that I wouldn't try to put in, I would try to… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/there-s-john-mulaney-show-jokes-that-i-have-in-stand-up-that-i-wouldn/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b3/john-mulaney-7291_episodes_there-s-john-mulaney-show-jokes-that-i-h_1959102.jpg)

> [The best-case scenario is everything goes perfect and smooth, but we're also a new and weird show. So all my conversations were,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/the-best-case-scenario-is-everything-goes-perfect-and-smooth-but-we/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b56/john-mulaney-7291_cases_the-best-case-scenario-is-everything-goe_2929823.jpg)

## Other authors on Episodes

## More by John Mulaney

> [I don't know if there's a strategy really so much as, like I learned doing standup and had to learn fast, you always just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/i-don-t-know-if-there-s-a-strategy-really-so-much-as-like-i-learned/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

> [I never turn on the crowd. Sometimes, you think it's a terrible show, and then afterward, sometimes people say they really liked it. So…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/i-never-turn-on-the-crowd-sometimes-you-think-it-s-a-terrible-show/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

> [If I was at the Comedy Cellar at midnight you yelled at the back of the room. But you, for television, play it to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/if-i-was-at-the-comedy-cellar-at-midnight-you-yelled-at-the-back-of/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

> [Ill book a ticket on some garbage airline. I dont wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/ill-book-a-ticket-on-some-garbage-airline-i-dont-wanna-name-an-actual/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

> [You can't always see both sides of the story. Eventually, you have to pick a side and stick with it. No more equivocating. You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/you-can-t-always-see-both-sides-of-the-story-eventually-you-have-to/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

> [ With the first episode \[of John Mulaney Show\] I tell a story that happened to me accidentally chasing a woman down the subway. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/with-the-first-episode-of-john-mulaney-show-i-tell-a-story-that/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

> [Part of standup is being loose and having a good time yourself and that translates to the audience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/part-of-standup-is-being-loose-and-having-a-good-time-yourself-and/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

> [Maybe I just have high self-esteem, but I have a lot that I really enjoy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/maybe-i-just-have-high-self-esteem-but-i-have-a-lot-that-i-really/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

> [I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/i-have-a-lot-of-stories-about-being-a-kid-because-it-was-the-last/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

> [Going on the road for long stretches can seem daunting, and I certainly miss being home sometimes, but the chance to see so many…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/going-on-the-road-for-long-stretches-can-seem-daunting-and-i/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

> [I do longer runs on things, a lot stories. I really like one-liners, I like a lot of different kinds of standup but I've…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/i-do-longer-runs-on-things-a-lot-stories-i-really-like-one-liners-i/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

> [I look back on being 17 and think, 'Oh my God, how did I not die?'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/i-look-back-on-being-17-and-think-oh-my-god-how-did-i-not-die/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

> [ If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them \[the n-word\], that’s the worse word. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/if-you-re-comparing-the-badness-of-two-words-and-you-won-t-even-say/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

> [In every case, I find pre-planning noble, but not always that useful in comedy. You know comedy once you're doing it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/in-every-case-i-find-pre-planning-noble-but-not-always-that-useful-in/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

> [Most open-mic experiences I had were okay.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mulaney/most-open-mic-experiences-i-had-were-okay/)

[John Mulaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mulaney/)

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