--- title: "9 Enormous Quotes By Dave Barry" description: "9 Enormous quotes by Dave Barry. Plus more from Dave Barry and more Enormous sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dce/dave-barry-222_animal_disney-resort-and-world-and-compound-a-p_2826868.png" --- > [Disney Resort and World and Compound, a place where your dreams really do come true, if you dream about having people wearing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/disney-resort-and-world-and-compound-a-place-where-your-dreams-really/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dce/dave-barry-222_animal_disney-resort-and-world-and-compound-a-p_2826868.png) > [What I think is that the F-word is basically just a convenient nasty-sounding word that we tend to use when we would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/what-i-think-is-that-the-f-word-is-basically-just-a-convenient-nasty/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/afe/dave-barry-222_allies_what-i-think-is-that-the-f-word-is-basic_3158364.png) > [Some archeologists believe that Stonehenge - the mysterious arrangement of enormous elongated stones in England - is actually a crude effort by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/some-archeologists-believe-that-stonehenge-the-mysterious-arrangement/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d7/dave-barry-222_arrangements_some-archeologists-believe-that-stonehen_2585089.png) > [Elsewhere in Italy is the lovely city of Venice, which each year attracts millions of visitors despite the fact that it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/elsewhere-in-italy-is-the-lovely-city-of-venice-which-each-year/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7fe/dave-barry-222_cities_elsewhere-in-italy-is-the-lovely-city-of_1716525.png) > [The more boring a newspaper is, the more it is respected. The most respected newspaper in the United States is The New…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-more-boring-a-newspaper-is-the-more-it-is-respected-the-most/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/275/dave-barry-222_arrested_the-more-boring-a-newspaper-is-the-more_2143291.png) > [Turbulence.” This is what pilots announce that you have encountered when your plane strikes an object in midair. You'll be flying along,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/turbulence-this-is-what-pilots-announce-that-you-have-encountered/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb7/dave-barry-222_airborne_turbulence-this-is-what-pilots-announce_1992556.png) > [Harry is heavily into camping, and every year in the late fall, he makes us all go to Assateague, which is an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/harry-is-heavily-into-camping-and-every-year-in-the-late-fall-he/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5a/dave-barry-222_atlantic-ocean_harry-is-heavily-into-camping-and-every_2686833.png) > [The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the Department of Energy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-problem-is-that-we-have-run-out-of-dinosaurs-to-form-oil-with/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f2/dave-barry-222_animal_the-problem-is-that-we-have-run-out-of-d_1271756.jpg) > [Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/let-s-talk-about-how-to-fill-out-your-1984-tax-return-here-s-an-often/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/690/dave-barry-222_accounting_let-s-talk-about-how-to-fill-out-your-19_644395.jpg) ## Other authors on Enormous ## More by Dave Barry > [This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/this-is-true-virtually-all-edible-substances-and-many-automotive/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/this-ball-was-so-crowded-that-it-took-me-a-trained-professional/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-hardest-thing-about-being-a-guy-is-that-women-don-t-accept-that/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-ultimate-camping-trip-was-the-lewis-and-clark-expedition/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/although-golf-was-originally-restricted-to-wealthy-overweight/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/entire-new-continent-can-emerge-from-the-ocean-in-the-time-it-takes/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [He was distracted by a giggle, and turned to see a rare sight: a girl.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/he-was-distracted-by-a-giggle-and-turned-to-see-a-rare-sight-a-girl/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-major-parties-could-conduct-live-human-sacrifices-on-their/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/if-you-look-at-any-list-of-great-modern-writers-such-as-ernest/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/don-t-you-wish-you-had-a-job-like-mine-all-you-have-to-do-is-think-up/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/despite-the-gulf-physical-and-cultural-between-the-united-states-and/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/before-going-on-a-diet-you-should-consult-your-doctor-or-at-least/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Never trust anything you read in a travel article.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/never-trust-anything-you-read-in-a-travel-article/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/in-the-old-days-it-was-not-called-the-holiday-season-the-christians/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Always remember that if editors were so damned smart, they would know how to dress.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/always-remember-that-if-editors-were-so-damned-smart-they-would-know/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/enormous/dave-barry/#itemlist", "name": "9 Enormous Quotes By Dave Barry", "numberOfItems": 9, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Disney Resort and World and Compound, a place where your dreams really do come true, if you dream about having people wearing enormous cartoon-animal heads come around to your restaurant table and act whimsical and refuse to go away until you laugh with delight.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/disney-resort-and-world-and-compound-a-place-where-your-dreams-really/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dce/dave-barry-222_animal_disney-resort-and-world-and-compound-a-p_2826868.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dce/dave-barry-222_animal_disney-resort-and-world-and-compound-a-p_2826868.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dce/dave-barry-222_animal_disney-resort-and-world-and-compound-a-p_2826868.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Disney Resort and World and Compound, a place where your dreams really do come true, if you dream about…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "What I think is that the F-word is basically just a convenient nasty-sounding word that we tend to use when we would really like to come up with a terrific-ally witty insult, the kind Winston Churchill always came up with when enormous women asked him stupid questions at parties.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/what-i-think-is-that-the-f-word-is-basically-just-a-convenient-nasty/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/afe/dave-barry-222_allies_what-i-think-is-that-the-f-word-is-basic_3158364.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/afe/dave-barry-222_allies_what-i-think-is-that-the-f-word-is-basic_3158364.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/afe/dave-barry-222_allies_what-i-think-is-that-the-f-word-is-basic_3158364.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“What I think is that the F-word is basically just a convenient nasty-sounding word that we tend to use when…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Some archeologists believe that Stonehenge - the mysterious arrangement of enormous elongated stones in England - is actually a crude effort by the Druids to build a computing device.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/some-archeologists-believe-that-stonehenge-the-mysterious-arrangement/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d7/dave-barry-222_arrangements_some-archeologists-believe-that-stonehen_2585089.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d7/dave-barry-222_arrangements_some-archeologists-believe-that-stonehen_2585089.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d7/dave-barry-222_arrangements_some-archeologists-believe-that-stonehen_2585089.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Some archeologists believe that Stonehenge - the mysterious arrangement of enormous elongated stones in…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Elsewhere in Italy is the lovely city of Venice, which each year attracts millions of visitors despite the fact that it is basically an enormous open sewer..", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/elsewhere-in-italy-is-the-lovely-city-of-venice-which-each-year/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7fe/dave-barry-222_cities_elsewhere-in-italy-is-the-lovely-city-of_1716525.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7fe/dave-barry-222_cities_elsewhere-in-italy-is-the-lovely-city-of_1716525.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7fe/dave-barry-222_cities_elsewhere-in-italy-is-the-lovely-city-of_1716525.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Elsewhere in Italy is the lovely city of Venice, which each year attracts millions of visitors despite the…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The more boring a newspaper is, the more it is respected. The most respected newspaper in the United States is The New York Times, which has thousands of reporters constantly producing enormous front-page stories about bauxite...The [New York] Post would write about bauxite only if famous celebrites were arrested for snorting it in an exclusive Manhattan nightclub.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-more-boring-a-newspaper-is-the-more-it-is-respected-the-most/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/275/dave-barry-222_arrested_the-more-boring-a-newspaper-is-the-more_2143291.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/275/dave-barry-222_arrested_the-more-boring-a-newspaper-is-the-more_2143291.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/275/dave-barry-222_arrested_the-more-boring-a-newspaper-is-the-more_2143291.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The more boring a newspaper is, the more it is respected. 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You'll be flying along, and there will be an enormous, shuddering WHUMP, and clearly the plane has rammed into an airborne object at least the size of a water buffalo, and the pilot will say, “Folks, we're encountering a little turbulence.” Meanwhile they are up there in the cockpit trying desperately to clean water-buffalo organs off the windshield.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/turbulence-this-is-what-pilots-announce-that-you-have-encountered/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb7/dave-barry-222_airborne_turbulence-this-is-what-pilots-announce_1992556.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb7/dave-barry-222_airborne_turbulence-this-is-what-pilots-announce_1992556.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb7/dave-barry-222_airborne_turbulence-this-is-what-pilots-announce_1992556.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Turbulence.” This is what pilots announce that you have encountered when your plane strikes an object in…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Harry is heavily into camping, and every year in the late fall, he makes us all go to Assateague, which is an island on the Atlantic Ocean famous for its wild horses. I realize that the concept of wild horses probably stirs romantic notions in many of you, but this is because you have never met any wild horses in person. In person, they are like enormous hooved rats. They amble up to your camp site, and their attitude is: We're wild horses. We're going to eat your food, knock down your tent and poop on your shoes. We're protected by federal law, just like Richard Nixon.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/harry-is-heavily-into-camping-and-every-year-in-the-late-fall-he/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5a/dave-barry-222_atlantic-ocean_harry-is-heavily-into-camping-and-every_2686833.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5a/dave-barry-222_atlantic-ocean_harry-is-heavily-into-camping-and-every_2686833.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5a/dave-barry-222_atlantic-ocean_harry-is-heavily-into-camping-and-every_2686833.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Harry is heavily into camping, and every year in the late fall, he makes us all go to Assateague, which is…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the Department of Energy have tried to form oil using other animals; they've piled thousands of tons of sand and Middle Eastern countries on top of cows, raccoons, haddock, laboratory rats, etc., but so far all they have managed to do is run up an enormous bulldozer-rental bill and anger a lot of Middle Eastern persons. None of the animals turned into oil, although most of the laboratory rats developed cancer.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-problem-is-that-we-have-run-out-of-dinosaurs-to-form-oil-with/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f2/dave-barry-222_animal_the-problem-is-that-we-have-run-out-of-d_1271756.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f2/dave-barry-222_animal_the-problem-is-that-we-have-run-out-of-d_1271756.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f2/dave-barry-222_animal_the-problem-is-that-we-have-run-out-of-d_1271756.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the Department…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands of dollars: For several days before you put it in the mail, carry your tax return around under your armpit. No IRS agent is going to want to spend hours poring over a sweat-stained document. So even if you owe money, you can put in for an enormous refund and the agent will probably give it to you, just to avoid an audit. What does he care? It's not his money.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/let-s-talk-about-how-to-fill-out-your-1984-tax-return-here-s-an-often/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/690/dave-barry-222_accounting_let-s-talk-about-how-to-fill-out-your-19_644395.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/690/dave-barry-222_accounting_let-s-talk-about-how-to-fill-out-your-19_644395.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/690/dave-barry-222_accounting_let-s-talk-about-how-to-fill-out-your-19_644395.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. 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