---
title: "139 Duct tape Quotes by 111 authors"
description: "Browse 139 Duct tape quotes by 111 authors. Discover the best Duct tape sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fc2/anonymous-1_being-crazy_when-i-want-your-opinion-ill-remove-the_2949086.jpg"
---

> [When I want your opinion Ill remove the duct tape](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/when-i-want-your-opinion-ill-remove-the-duct-tape/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fc2/anonymous-1_being-crazy_when-i-want-your-opinion-ill-remove-the_2949086.jpg)

> [Vodka; it kinda fixes everything like duct tape](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marisha/vodka-it-kinda-fixes-everything-like-duct-tape/)

[Marisha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marisha/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/caa/marisha-260046_duct-tape_vodka-it-kinda-fixes-everything-like-duc_1417111.jpg)

> [You can never have too much money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jess-c-scott/you-can-never-have-too-much-money/)

[Jess C Scott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jess-c-scott/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a8/jess-c-scott-15952_beach_you-can-never-have-too-much-money-114338_1143388.jpg)

> [“Humanity's gift to the universe. Duct Tape.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-campbell/humanity-s-gift-to-the-universe-duct-tape/)

[Jack Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-campbell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/541/jack-campbell-27103_duct-tape_humanity-s-gift-to-the-universe-duct-tap_1770506.jpg)

> [Duct tape solves all problems, I think.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colter-wall/duct-tape-solves-all-problems-i-think/)

[Colter Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colter-wall/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/01a/colter-wall-25914_duct-tape_duct-tape-solves-all-problems-i-think-28_2871696.jpg)

> [You can never have too much sky.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sandra-cisneros/you-can-never-have-too-much-sky/)

[Sandra Cisneros](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sandra-cisneros/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/90a/sandra-cisneros-862_beach_you-can-never-have-too-much-sky-181715_181715.png)

> [Silence is Golden but Duct Tape is Silver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brooke-m/silence-is-golden-but-duct-tape-is-silver/)

[Brooke M](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brooke-m/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb0/brooke-m-87230_duct-tape_silence-is-golden-but-duct-tape-is-silve_1816625.jpg)

> [Hey duct tape, what's REALLY bothering you?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/hey-duct-tape-what-s-really-bothering-you/)

[Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94b/nikhil-saluja-26_bothering_hey-duct-tape-what-s-really-bothering-yo_199058.jpg)

> [I think I've finally realized that duct tape can't fix everything](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-think-i-ve-finally-realized-that-duct-tape-can-t-fix-everything/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dda/anonymous-1_broken-love_i-think-i-ve-finally-realized-that-duct_510693.jpg)

> [Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and it holds the world together.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oprah-winfrey/duct-tape-is-like-the-force-it-has-a-light-side-and-it-holds-the/)

[Oprah Winfrey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oprah-winfrey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/175/oprah-winfrey-186_duct-tape_duct-tape-is-like-the-force-it-has-a-lig_2093956.png)

> [A smile and a laugh are the duct tape of life; they can fix anything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-wallace/a-smile-and-a-laugh-are-the-duct-tape-of-life-they-can-fix-anything/)

[Mike Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-wallace/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3b2/mike-wallace-5222_comedy_a-smile-and-a-laugh-are-the-duct-tape-of_3008342.png)

> [“Adequate duct tape was not an attribute she'd ever sought in a man.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzanne-johnson/adequate-duct-tape-was-not-an-attribute-she-d-ever-sought-in-a-man/)

[Suzanne Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzanne-johnson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/adb/suzanne-johnson-40043_cajun-romance_adequate-duct-tape-was-not-an-attribute_2717887.jpg)

> [“Also, I need some duct tape, a shovel, and Brandon's phone number...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shane-miller/also-i-need-some-duct-tape-a-shovel-and-brandon-s-phone-number/)

[Shane Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shane-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d11/shane-miller-277373_duct-tape_also-i-need-some-duct-tape-a-shovel-and_1375017.jpg)

> [If you cant fix it with duct tape or a martini; it aint worth fixing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/orebela-gbenga/if-you-cant-fix-it-with-duct-tape-or-a-martini-it-aint-worth-fixing/)

[Orebela Gbenga](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/orebela-gbenga/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94c/orebela-gbenga-2668_duct-tape_if-you-cant-fix-it-with-duct-tape-or-a-m_1764064.jpg)

> [“Civilization is held together by duct tape and spit, and I'm worried about the duct tape.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacqueline-patricks/civilization-is-held-together-by-duct-tape-and-spit-and-i-m-worried/)

[Jacqueline Patricks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacqueline-patricks/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3fb/jacqueline-patricks-38018_apocalypse_civilization-is-held-together-by-duct-ta_351586.jpg)

> [Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side and it binds the Universe together.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/duct-tape-is-like-the-force-it-has-a-light-side-and-a-dark-side-and/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f1/anonymous-1_dark-side_duct-tape-is-like-the-force-it-has-a-lig_313881.jpg)

> [My dad had given my sister and I our starter car, a red, old 1985 Chevy Blazer. It was so beat up,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-purdy/my-dad-had-given-my-sister-and-i-our-starter-car-a-red-old-1985-chevy/)

[Amy Purdy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-purdy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/498/amy-purdy-4653_beat_my-dad-had-given-my-sister-and-i-our-sta_2047348.png)

> [We are in a code orange. Homeland Security said earlier today that everyone should have a roll of duct tape and plastic…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/we-are-in-a-code-orange-homeland-security-said-earlier-today-that/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/965/jay-leno-210_code_we-are-in-a-code-orange-homeland-securit_2657259.png)

> [“I had a dream about you. We were traveling in your car. You were driving, and I was securely fastened by ropes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-had-a-dream-about-you-we-were-traveling-in-your-car-you-were/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d7c/jarod-kintz-2_dream_i-had-a-dream-about-you-we-were-travelin_2441595.jpg)

> [One down," Beckendorf said. "About five thousand to go." He tossed me a jar of thick green liquid—Greek fire, one of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-riordan/one-down-beckendorf-said-about-five-thousand-to-go-he-tossed-me-a-jar/)

[Rick Riordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-riordan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06f/rick-riordan-27_dangerous_one-down-beckendorf-said-about-five-thou_2568231.jpg)

> [“I’d chain him in my basement and never let him go. Hmm. That was supposed to sound romantic, but even in my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-milo/i-d-chain-him-in-my-basement-and-never-let-him-go-hmm-that-was/)

[Amanda Milo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-milo/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/443/amanda-milo-36892_creeper_i-d-chain-him-in-my-basement-and-never-l_3065077.jpg)

> [“You are an idiot," Tom informed him. Prophet stared at the duct tape around his wrists. "I have no argument against that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/s-e-jakes/you-are-an-idiot-tom-informed-him-prophet-stared-at-the-duct-tape/)

[S.E. Jakes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/s-e-jakes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e61/s-e-jakes-9172_duct-tape_you-are-an-idiot-tom-informed-him-prophe_2477927.jpg)

> [“Billings pulled a roll from a compartment in his cargo pants leg. We gawked at him in disbelief. He shrugged. "What? You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shelly-crane/billings-pulled-a-roll-from-a-compartment-in-his-cargo-pants-leg-we/)

[Shelly Crane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shelly-crane/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e63/shelly-crane-2084_duct-tape_billings-pulled-a-roll-from-a-compartmen_943753.jpg)

> [Duct tape is like that. It's a building block. You can make a rope out of it, you can make a cloth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jamie-hyneman/duct-tape-is-like-that-it-s-a-building-block-you-can-make-a-rope-out/)

[Jamie Hyneman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jamie-hyneman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b89/jamie-hyneman-3349_building_duct-tape-is-like-that-it-s-a-building-b_777701.png)

> [People who leave their cars on the street with tape covering their broken windows are obviously too trusting. I mean, when your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aaron-karo/people-who-leave-their-cars-on-the-street-with-tape-covering-their/)

[Aaron Karo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aaron-karo/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eda/aaron-karo-48509_beats_people-who-leave-their-cars-on-the-stree_2577651.jpg)

> [I got in a lot of trouble from my stepfather for using his duct tape, to tape up my school skirt. So…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/florence-and-the-machine/i-got-in-a-lot-of-trouble-from-my-stepfather-for-using-his-duct-tape/)

[Florence And The Machine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/florence-and-the-machine/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a1a/florence-and-the-machine-21055_daily-life_i-got-in-a-lot-of-trouble-from-my-stepfa_1946341.jpg)

> [“There are many ways to get to know someone, and my favorite is seeing them naked in Happy Baby pose. I also…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/there-are-many-ways-to-get-to-know-someone-and-my-favorite-is-seeing/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/71a/chelsea-handler-887_boyfriend_there-are-many-ways-to-get-to-know-someo_180250.png)

> [But just now, he'd gotten on his knees and proposed marriage, like in a television commercial for a diamond ring. Except of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/but-just-now-he-d-gotten-on-his-knees-and-proposed-marriage-like-in-a/)

[Nancy Werlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/547/nancy-werlin-13440_adult-life_but-just-now-he-d-gotten-on-his-knees-an_2973089.jpg)

> [We live in the time where we have fictitious election results that elects a fictitious president. We live in a time where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-moore/we-live-in-the-time-where-we-have-fictitious-election-results-that/)

[Michael Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-moore/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07b/michael-moore-884_chicks_we-live-in-the-time-where-we-have-fictit_1619420.png)

> [“3. The séance was for real and everyone knows it. But they won’t discuss it because A. they don’t trust me, B.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeannine-garsee/3-the-s-ance-was-for-real-and-everyone-knows-it-but-they-won-t/)

[Jeannine Garsee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeannine-garsee/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/158/jeannine-garsee-50171_duct-tape_3-the-s-ance-was-for-real-and-everyone-k_170722.jpg)

> [“This is my emergency kit. It contained a roll of duct tape, a spare pair of pants, an envelope with two hundred…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/this-is-my-emergency-kit-it-contained-a-roll-of-duct-tape-a-spare/)

[David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/680/david-wong-1098_be-prepared_this-is-my-emergency-kit-it-contained-a_473753.png)

> [I can't stop some idiot from crashing into a building or blowing up a bus, I can only be your dad and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/i-can-t-stop-some-idiot-from-crashing-into-a-building-or-blowing-up-a/)

[Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d8f/christopher-titus-1916_alive_i-can-t-stop-some-idiot-from-crashing-in_2550199.jpg)

> [“Okay." Nate took a deep breath. "Now that we're all caught up on the new no-no's of the house, what do you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-fine/okay-nate-took-a-deep-breath-now-that-we-re-all-caught-up-on-the-new-2/)

[Chelsea Fine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-fine/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9a0/chelsea-fine-2443_death_okay-nate-took-a-deep-breath-now-that-we_2747528.jpg)

> [“If you trust me at all, if you want to listen to me at all..but you certainly don’t have to…speaking from experience,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eddie-vedder/if-you-trust-me-at-all-if-you-want-to-listen-to-me-at-all-but-you/)

[Eddie Vedder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eddie-vedder/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b8/eddie-vedder-2057_change-yourself_if-you-trust-me-at-all-if-you-want-to-li_1671096.png)

> [“If you use sex whenever you want with whomever you want, you’re treating it like trash, like it means nothing. Imagine a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-j-heil/if-you-use-sex-whenever-you-want-with-whomever-you-want-you-re/)

[Michael J Heil](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-j-heil/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/828/michael-j-heil-19861_duct-tape_if-you-use-sex-whenever-you-want-with-wh_405053.jpg)

> [“I learned many things at Dixie County High School. There was a class called Life Management. One week we brought in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/damon-thomas/i-learned-many-things-at-dixie-county-high-school-there-was-a-class/)

[Damon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/damon-thomas/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c9/damon-thomas-29668_brick-wall_i-learned-many-things-at-dixie-county-hi_1563182.jpg)

> [“I knew Denver was sincere when he told me that he would not want to trade places with me for even one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ron-hall/i-knew-denver-was-sincere-when-he-told-me-that-he-would-not-want-to/)

[Ron Hall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ron-hall/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ebf/ron-hall-15761_duct-tape_i-knew-denver-was-sincere-when-he-told-m_416185.jpg)

> [“Like when people (my parents) ask what I'm going to study in college and I say, "English." They say, "Oh. So you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arlaina-tibensky/like-when-people-my-parents-ask-what-i-m-going-to-study-in-college/)

[Arlaina Tibensky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arlaina-tibensky/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/21f/arlaina-tibensky-30414_big-city_like-when-people-my-parents-ask-what-i-m_1790630.jpg)

> [“The seminar was long and boring and Quinn was seriously cranky. He did not want to go through another two days of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andria-large/the-seminar-was-long-and-boring-and-quinn-was-seriously-cranky-he-did/)

[Andria Large](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andria-large/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/213/andria-large-30994_best-friend_the-seminar-was-long-and-boring-and-quin_1323748.jpg)

> [“Delores points at me. And now she looks pissed. “That, I believe. Fucking prick.” She holds her hands up. “But it’s okay.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-chase/delores-points-at-me-and-now-she-looks-pissed-that-i-believe-fucking/)

[Emma Chase](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-chase/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/341/emma-chase-699_animal-testing_delores-points-at-me-and-now-she-looks-p_3112865.jpg)

## Top authors on Duct tape

- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b020/author-rick-riordan-79077.jpg) Rick Riordan 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/duct-tape/rick-riordan/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b018/author-nikhil-saluja-71464.jpg) Nikhil Saluja 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/duct-tape/nikhil-saluja/)
- [Jarod Kintz 5 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/duct-tape/jarod-kintz/)

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                        "text": "One down,\" Beckendorf said. \"About five thousand to go.\" He tossed me a jar of thick green liquid—Greek fire, one of the most dangerous magical substances in the world. Then he threw me another essential tool of demigod heroes—duct tape",
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                        "text": "“I’d chain him in my basement and never let him go. Hmm. That was supposed to sound romantic, but even in my head that leaned a few rolls of duct tape too close to the creeper side.”",
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                        "text": "“You are an idiot,\" Tom informed him. Prophet stared at the duct tape around his wrists. \"I have no argument against that at the moment.”",
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                        "text": "“Billings pulled a roll from a compartment in his cargo pants leg. We gawked at him in disbelief. He shrugged. \"What? You never know when you're going to need duct tape.”",
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                        "text": "Duct tape is like that. It's a building block. You can make a rope out of it, you can make a cloth out of it. And because it sticks to stuff it's even more powerful. It's like an uber-material because of the versatility of a sticky fiber.",
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                        "text": "People who leave their cars on the street with tape covering their broken windows are obviously too trusting. I mean, when your car did have glass for a window, someone broke into it. How is tape any more of a deterrent? What are the thieves going to say? Ooh, that like looks like duct tape, we can't beat that. Let's look for one with scotch or masking.",
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                        "text": "I got in a lot of trouble from my stepfather for using his duct tape, to tape up my school skirt. So the inside of my skirt was done up with electrical tape. Very short. I always find in daily life, its like, dont you kind of make your own uniforms in a sense. Its really weird.",
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                        "text": "“There are many ways to get to know someone, and my favorite is seeing them naked in Happy Baby pose. I also feel it is important to have sex soon after meeting someone in order to find out if you have sexual chemistry together. Otherwise, you could wait two to three months after you start dating someone only to discover that your new boyfriend is bad in bed, or even worse, is into anal beads and duct tape.”",
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                        "text": "But just now, he'd gotten on his knees and proposed marriage, like in a television commercial for a diamond ring. Except of course they had the roll of duct tape instead, which, when you came to think about it, was a far more practical item. Such a bad mistake it would be, to embark on marriage and adult life without a nice supply of duct tape.",
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                        "text": "We live in the time where we have fictitious election results that elects a fictitious president. We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons. Whether it's the fictition of duct tape or fictition of orange alerts we are against this war, Mr. Bush. Shame on you. Mr. Bush, shame on you. And any time you got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“3. The séance was for real and everyone knows it. But they won’t discuss it because A. they don’t trust me, B. they don’t like me, or C. they’re playing it down because they’re plotting to get me alone after school, duct tape my mouth, and throw me over the fence so Annaliese can rip out my throat with her ghostly teeth. Okay. Now that’s paranoid.”",
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                        "text": "“This is my emergency kit. It contained a roll of duct tape, a spare pair of pants, an envelope with two hundred dollars, two bags of dried fruit, two packages of beef jerky, three bottles of water, a roll of thick shop towels you see mechanics use, a small metal pipe - just right for cracking a skull with - and a fake beard. Look, you never know.”",
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                        "text": "I can't stop some idiot from crashing into a building or blowing up a bus, I can only be your dad and give you a few pure truths. Number one, duct tape will save your life. Number two, Tupac is alive, but I need you to keep that on the DL because of Suge. And number three, don't be afraid of anything - except the television news because they're lying to you every night.",
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                        "text": "“Okay.\" Nate took a deep breath. \"Now that we're all caught up on the new no-no's of the house, what do you say we find a tarp and some duct tape and MacGyver ourselves a new window in the living room? Just, you know, to keep out the wind ... and the leaves ... and any sharp-toothed woodland creatures prone to attacking people in their sleep.\" Tristan raised a brow. \"What?\" Nate shrugged. \"Death by dragon? Awesome. Death by rabid forest squirrel? Not cool, man. Not cool.\" \"You're immortal , Nate,\" Gabriel said. \"So? That doesn't mean I want rabies.\" Nate shook his head. \"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have medieval aliens to defeat.”",
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                        "text": "“If you trust me at all, if you want to listen to me at all..but you certainly don’t have to…speaking from experience, I can tell you that things change. You can believe me, you don’t have to. They probably won’t change unless you make them. The best way to change something that’s around you, something you don’t like, is to change yourself. And I don’t think you want other people changing you, I think the only person that can change you is yourself. So if you ain’t happy, if you’re reading magazines about generation x-ers and thinking ‘yeah, I’m one of them’, well fuck that. Don’t let anyone tell you who you are. No, no. No one can tell me who I am. I can tell you who I am, but that would be a long story. I could tell you who I am and it wouldn’t fit in a Rolling Stone. It wouldn’t fit in a video…it’s my life, it’s your life. You’re the only one who knows who you are. I hope you know who you are, figure it out. Cause you are somebody. And I’m probably stating the obvious, but I just thought I’d do it anyway. So if you feel like you’ve got a piece of duct tape on your mouth, if you feel like you can’t speak, take it off, speak up, speak your mind, shout it out,let em hear, shout it out.”",
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                        "text": "“If you use sex whenever you want with whomever you want, you’re treating it like trash, like it means nothing. Imagine a piece of duct tape. It’s got a purpose, it’s designed to stick to something, but if you stick it to the dog and rip it off, then the floor, the wall, the toilet, the neighbor’s pit, after that, it just won’t work right anymore. When you finally find your spouse and try to connect with them, there will be all sorts of crud in the way. It might be a physical STD, or it could be an emotional one that spreads through your relationship and life like an infection.”",
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                        "text": "“I learned many things at Dixie County High School. There was a class called Life Management. One week we brought in a 5lb sacks of flour. For 2 weeks we were to carry this around as our baby. It needed to return intact to get a grade. But tape could be used for repairs. So the first night I wrapped my Piggy Wiggly-brand flour baby in 2 rolls of duct tape. Added a face. Glued on some orange faux fur hair. Five pounds became 8. They grow up so fast! Over the next week we tossed this tape baby against brick walls. No harm was done. Parenting came naturally it seemed. Until we decided to drop junior out a car window while heading down County Road 55A. It bounced off the road and out into a field. We searched... but never found that sack of flour. It might be out there still. The next morning I told my teacher what had happened. Baby went out a window. Was lost in a field. She just stared. Told me not to tell anyone else this story. I still got full credit though. No one expected much of parents back then.”",
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                        "text": "“I knew Denver was sincere when he told me that he would not want to trade places with me for even one day. His convictions became clear to me when I laid my key ring on the table between us at one of our earlier meetings for coffee. Denver smiled a bit and sidled up to a cautious question. 'I know it ain't none of my business, but does you own somethin' that each one of those keys fits?' I glanced at the keys; there were about ten of them. 'I suppose,' I replied, not really ever having thought about it. 'Are you sure you own them, or does they own you?' That wisdom stuck to my brain like duct tape. The more I thought about it, the more I became convinced we'd enjoy life a whole lot more if we owned a whole lot less.”",
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                        "text": "“Like when people (my parents) ask what I'm going to study in college and I say, \"English.\" They say, \"Oh. So you want to be a teacher?\" And I want to cover my eyes and mouth with duct tape and pretend to be dead and done with it. No, you simpletons. I want to travel and write and live in a big city, and do cool things with my brain. This is not to disparage the fine and noble art of educating in any way. My English teachers have made me who I am today and I love them with a passion that surprises me. I just don't want to be one.”",
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                        "text": "“The seminar was long and boring and Quinn was seriously cranky. He did not want to go through another two days of sitting through watching some stick-up-his-ass talk about shit he already knew. Margot paid attention for the first half of it, but she started to get bored, also. And when Margot gets bored, she fidgets. Quinn almost strangled her today. He thought about many creative ways to end her fidgeting, many of them involved duct tape. Duct tape was a man’s best friend after all...no wait, that was dogs.”",
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                        "text": "“Delores points at me. And now she looks pissed. “That, I believe. Fucking prick.” She holds her hands up. “But it’s okay. Don’t panic. I’ll take care of everything. We have this new fuel at the lab that’s ready for animal testing. He won’t know what hit him—I can slip it right through the vents.” She turns to Billy. “You’re in charge of the garden hose and duct tape.” Then she looks at me. “I’ll need your keys and security code.” I shake my head. “Delores, you can’t gas Drew to death.” “It might not kill him. If I had to guess, I’d say the odds for survival are fifty-fifty.” “Delores . . .” “Okay, thirty-seventy. But still, that gives us plausible deniability.” My mother and George walk into the room, interrupting the diabolical plan. My mom hugs Dee Dee tight. “Hi, honey! It’s so good to see you. Are you hungry?” “Starved.” She looks at George. “Hey George, how they hanging?” I think George Reinhart is a little afraid of Delores. Maybe more than a little. He adjusts his glasses. “They’re . . . hanging well . . . thank you.”",
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