--- title: "3 Ducks Quotes By Mitch Hedberg" description: "3 Ducks quotes by Mitch Hedberg. Plus more from Mitch Hedberg and more Ducks sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/50d/mitch-hedberg-695_beavers_i-find-that-a-duck-s-opinion-of-me-is-in_1539401.jpg" --- > [I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread. A duck loves bread, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-find-that-a-duck-s-opinion-of-me-is-influenced-by-whether-or-not-i/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/50d/mitch-hedberg-695_beavers_i-find-that-a-duck-s-opinion-of-me-is-in_1539401.jpg) > [Once I saw a duck walking down the street so I went into Subway and ordered two pieces of bread, and they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/once-i-saw-a-duck-walking-down-the-street-so-i-went-into-subway-and/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1bd/mitch-hedberg-695_bread_once-i-saw-a-duck-walking-down-the-stree_1845926.png) > [I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-find-a-duck-s-opinion-of-me-is-very-much-influenced-by-whether-or/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/669/mitch-hedberg-695_bread_i-find-a-duck-s-opinion-of-me-is-very-mu_2356224.png) ## Other authors on Ducks - [Jarod Kintz 21 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ducks/jarod-kintz/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b006/author-cassandra-clare-21529.jpg) Cassandra Clare 21 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ducks/cassandra-clare/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b019/author-phil-robertson-75259.jpg) Phil Robertson 11 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ducks/phil-robertson/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b004/author-arthur-hiller-14960.jpg) Jase Robertson 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ducks/jase-robertson/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-si-robertson-85246.jpg) Si Robertson 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ducks/si-robertson/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b010/author-groucho-marx-39563.jpg) Groucho Marx 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ducks/groucho-marx/) ## More by Mitch Hedberg > [I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-don-t-wear-a-watch-because-i-want-my-arms-to-weigh-the-same-so-if/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/there-was-a-product-on-late-night-tv-that-you-could-attach-to-your/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/imagine-if-you-were-a-drummer-and-you-accidentally-picked-up-two/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-like-wearing-necklaces-because-it-lets-me-know-when-i-m-upside-down/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-m-sick-of-soup-of-the-day-man-it-s-time-we-make-a-decision-i-need/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him, if it's in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-have-a-friend-who-is-a-juggler-if-i-m-at-his-house-i-don-t-like-to/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-don-t-get-the-regular-aids-test-anymore-i-get-the-roundabout-aids/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-don-t-know-how-to-fix-a-car-if-the-car-breaks-down-and-the-gas-tank/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-drank-some-boiling-water-because-i-wanted-to-whistle/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street...…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/what-s-a-sesame-seed-grow-into-i-don-t-know-we-never-give-them-a/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I'm an ice sculptor. Last night I made a cube.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-m-an-ice-sculptor-last-night-i-made-a-cube/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-went-to-a-restaurant-with-my-friend-and-he-said-pass-the-salt-i/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-had-a-bag-of-fritos-they-were-texas-grilled-fritos-these-fritos-had/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I bought a house, it's a two bedroom house, but I think it's up to me to decide how many bedrooms there are. This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-bought-a-house-it-s-a-two-bedroom-house-but-i-think-it-s-up-to-me/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/mr-pibb-is-a-poor-imitation-of-dr-pepper-dude-didn-t-even-get-his/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ducks/mitch-hedberg/#itemlist", "name": "3 Ducks Quotes By Mitch Hedberg", "numberOfItems": 3, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread. A duck loves bread, but he does not have the capability to buy a loaf. That's the biggest joke on the duck ever. If I worked at a convenience store, and a duck came in and stole a loaf of bread, I would let him go. I'd say, \"Come back tomorrow, bring your friends!\" When I think of a duck's friends, I think of other ducks. 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