---
title: "Best Drunk Lines"
description: "Browse 2,282 Drunk quotes by 1,498 authors. Discover the best Drunk sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be0/elton-john-849_alcohol_drunk-all-the-time-feeling-fine-on-elder_1627773.png"
---

> [Drunk all the time, feeling fine on elderberry wine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elton-john/drunk-all-the-time-feeling-fine-on-elderberry-wine/)

[Elton John](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elton-john/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be0/elton-john-849_alcohol_drunk-all-the-time-feeling-fine-on-elder_1627773.png)

> [If drunk were cookies, I'd be Famous Amos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/if-drunk-were-cookies-i-d-be-famous-amos/)

[John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d6/john-green-12_cookies_if-drunk-were-cookies-i-d-be-famous-amos_342190.jpg)

> [I should have drunk more Champagne.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-maynard-keynes/i-should-have-drunk-more-champagne/)

[John Maynard Keynes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-maynard-keynes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9a/john-maynard-keynes-1380_champagne_i-should-have-drunk-more-champagne-19298_1929826.png)

> [I hate taking care of drunk people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-hate-taking-care-of-drunk-people/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e21/anonymous-1_drunk-people_i-hate-taking-care-of-drunk-people-99897_998977.jpg)

> [“You can't just make me different and then leave”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/you-can-t-just-make-me-different-and-then-leave/)

[John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3c8/john-green-12_alaska_you-can-t-just-make-me-different-and-the_1376642.jpg)

> [I'm drunk on the fiery elixer of beauty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/everett-ruess/i-m-drunk-on-the-fiery-elixer-of-beauty/)

[Everett Ruess](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/everett-ruess/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be9/everett-ruess-21906_beauty_i-m-drunk-on-the-fiery-elixer-of-beauty_1375638.jpg)

> [I never played drunk. Hung over, yes, but never drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hack-wilson/i-never-played-drunk-hung-over-yes-but-never-drunk/)

[Hack Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hack-wilson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b9/hack-wilson-56931_drunk_i-never-played-drunk-hung-over-yes-but-n_553965.png)

> [Drunk Logic: 'She's only ugly in the face.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/drunk-logic-she-s-only-ugly-in-the-face/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/56a/anonymous-1_being_drunk-logic-she-s-only-ugly-in-the-face_1526619.jpg)

> [Whenever I get sick, I get my immune system drunk so it will fight anything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/green-monk/whenever-i-get-sick-i-get-my-immune-system-drunk-so-it-will-fight/)

[Green Monk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/green-monk/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ea/green-monk-388_funny_whenever-i-get-sick-i-get-my-immune-syst_1949996.jpg)

> [“When a man gets drunk he gets sentimental. That's what I wanted to avoid.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-paul-sartre/when-a-man-gets-drunk-he-gets-sentimental-that-s-what-i-wanted-to/)

[Jean-Paul Sartre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-paul-sartre/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba6/jean-paul-sartre-220_drunk_when-a-man-gets-drunk-he-gets-sentimenta_1545522.png)

> [Drunk people don't even realize that they getting hypothermia.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/drunk-people-don-t-even-realize-that-they-getting-hypothermia/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e27/anonymous-1_drunk_drunk-people-don-t-even-realize-that-the_674148.jpg)

> [If you love her, let her go out drinking with her friends. If she drunk dials you, she is yours](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pretty-ladii/if-you-love-her-let-her-go-out-drinking-with-her-friends-if-she-drunk/)

[Pretty Ladii](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pretty-ladii/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d3/pretty-ladii-9008_being-cheated-on_if-you-love-her-let-her-go-out-drinking_546339.jpg)

> [I can be drunk until 6 in the morning, and then I don't have to show up to work until 14 hours later.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-can-be-drunk-until-6-in-the-morning-and-then-i-don-t-have-to-show/)

[Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07f/lewis-black-1143_drunk_i-can-be-drunk-until-6-in-the-morning-an_2836753.png)

> [He's a little punch drunk; one too many hits from the snake! -Genie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aladdin/he-s-a-little-punch-drunk-one-too-many-hits-from-the-snake-genie/)

[Aladdin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aladdin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5b3/aladdin-10965_quote_he-s-a-little-punch-drunk-one-too-many-h_1136276.jpg)

> [“Dear 2600: Please forgive my last email to your magazine. I was drunk at the time.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emmanuel-goldstein/dear-2600-please-forgive-my-last-email-to-your-magazine-i-was-drunk/)

[Emmanuel Goldstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emmanuel-goldstein/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/79d/emmanuel-goldstein-34227_time_dear-2600-please-forgive-my-last-email-t_1959578.jpg)

> [I used to think if I didn't have a drink it was going to be a rubbish night, so I'd drink purely…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/megan-mckenna/i-used-to-think-if-i-didn-t-have-a-drink-it-was-going-to-be-a-rubbish/)

[Megan McKenna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/megan-mckenna/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/47d/megan-mckenna-3094_drink_i-used-to-think-if-i-didn-t-have-a-drink_2881853.jpg)

> [...Whose souls, albeit in a cloudy memory, yet seek back their good, but, like drunk men, know not the road home.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/boethius/whose-souls-albeit-in-a-cloudy-memory-yet-seek-back-their-good-but/)

[Boethius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/boethius/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ead/boethius-11247_cloudy_whose-souls-albeit-in-a-cloudy-memory-ye_3196588.png)

> [Who else would find me at just this moment? First he found me drunk, now he found me cleaning up poo from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/who-else-would-find-me-at-just-this-moment-first-he-found-me-drunk/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/51a/anonymous-1_cleaning_who-else-would-find-me-at-just-this-mome_3116783.jpg)

> [You can party, but I better not catch you drunk. (Wulf) (Chris rolled his eyes, then bent down to said to Cassandra’s…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/you-can-party-but-i-better-not-catch-you-drunk-wulf-chris-rolled-his/)

[Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f01/sherrilyn-kenyon-25_being-wise_you-can-party-but-i-better-not-catch-you_234585.jpg)

> [“This was their third bar since Piccadilly and they were both agreed that the two of them were very drunk but had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-atkinson/this-was-their-third-bar-since-piccadilly-and-they-were-both-agreed/)

[Kate Atkinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-atkinson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e3/kate-atkinson-1265_drunk_this-was-their-third-bar-since-piccadill_1955665.jpg)

> [I remember when I was a kid rugby players were some big guys that drunk a lot of beer but now they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorian-yates/i-remember-when-i-was-a-kid-rugby-players-were-some-big-guys-that/)

[Dorian Yates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorian-yates/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b12/dorian-yates-7593_beer_i-remember-when-i-was-a-kid-rugby-player_1509842.png)

> [If you don't think you've got the blues, just keep living, and if you don't think you're drunk, just keep drinking what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/buddy-guy/if-you-don-t-think-you-ve-got-the-blues-just-keep-living-and-if-you/)

[Buddy Guy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/buddy-guy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c2f/buddy-guy-10900_drinking_if-you-don-t-think-you-ve-got-the-blues_1025601.jpg)

> [I used to drink, I did. I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-hicks/i-used-to-drink-i-did-i-had-to-quit-man-i-was-an-embarrassing-drunk-i/)

[Bill Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-hicks/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd2/bill-hicks-970_alcohol_i-used-to-drink-i-did-i-had-to-quit-man_2628848.jpg)

> [The true meaning of the precepts is that one should refrain not only from drinking alcohol but also from getting drunk on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bassui-tokusho/the-true-meaning-of-the-precepts-is-that-one-should-refrain-not-only/)

[Bassui Tokusho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bassui-tokusho/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fe9/bassui-tokusho-54151_alcohol_the-true-meaning-of-the-precepts-is-that_1121203.png)

> [Daytime television, you can tell who’s watching by the three kinds of commercials. Either it’s clinics for drying out drunks. Or it’s…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-palahniuk/daytime-television-you-can-tell-who-s-watching-by-the-three-kinds-of/)

[Chuck Palahniuk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-palahniuk/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f29/chuck-palahniuk-37_clinic_daytime-television-you-can-tell-who-s-wa_994502.jpg)

> [My rebellion was telling my dad, "No, you're wrong, you don't know what's best for me. I'm not gonna waste my time…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rush-limbaugh/my-rebellion-was-telling-my-dad-no-you-re-wrong-you-don-t-know-what-s/)

[Rush Limbaugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rush-limbaugh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c4/rush-limbaugh-28_assumption_my-rebellion-was-telling-my-dad-no-you-r_2047480.jpg)

> [There was a euphoria in the music and the way it was delivered, and as the crowds started to get bigger, it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noel-gallagher/there-was-a-euphoria-in-the-music-and-the-way-it-was-delivered-and-as/)

[Noel Gallagher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noel-gallagher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/845/noel-gallagher-2021_band_there-was-a-euphoria-in-the-music-and-th_2938057.png)

> [“What is even happening here?" Will said, looking to each of us and the back to wherever the cougars had wandered off…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christina-lauren/what-is-even-happening-here-will-said-looking-to-each-of-us-and-the/)

[Christina Lauren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christina-lauren/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e5/christina-lauren-976_beautiful-beginning_what-is-even-happening-here-will-said-lo_2527882.jpg)

> [There was a pause, static, a muttered "Give me that," by an indignant female. Then the normally quiet reserved Ashlyn was demanding,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gena-showalter/there-was-a-pause-static-a-muttered-give-me-that-by-an-indignant/)

[Gena Showalter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gena-showalter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/65c/gena-showalter-541_drunk_there-was-a-pause-static-a-muttered-give_1150587.png)

> [There's something almost impossible about the criminal justice system when it comes to sexual assault cases. It immediately sets up a trial,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-shenk/there-s-something-almost-impossible-about-the-criminal-justice-system/)

[Jon Shenk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-shenk/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ee/jon-shenk-38396_assault_there-s-something-almost-impossible-abou_1235903.jpg)

> [“So I don’t know why you’re trying to talk yourself out of it now. The hard stuff is over. You dumped the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christine-bell/so-i-don-t-know-why-you-re-trying-to-talk-yourself-out-of-it-now-the/)

[Christine Bell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christine-bell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/809/christine-bell-23553_best-friend_so-i-don-t-know-why-you-re-trying-to-tal_1334974.jpg)

> [Faith is trusting Jesus to lead us and going where He leads. What avails it to me to analyze Saratoga water, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/theodore-l-cuyler/faith-is-trusting-jesus-to-lead-us-and-going-where-he-leads-what/)

[Theodore L. Cuyler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/theodore-l-cuyler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e6e/theodore-l-cuyler-12608_believe_faith-is-trusting-jesus-to-lead-us-and-g_2921649.png)

> [“I’m … confused and drunk and horny.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-cox/i-m-confused-and-drunk-and-horny/)

[James Cox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-cox/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/31b/james-cox-1518_confused_i-m-confused-and-drunk-and-horny-729333_729333.jpg)

> [“If you’d saved the girl, you’d be a hero. Next time.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-ramirez/if-you-d-saved-the-girl-you-d-be-a-hero-next-time/)

[Steven Ramirez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-ramirez/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61b/steven-ramirez-13996_chaos_if-you-d-saved-the-girl-you-d-be-a-hero_2453683.jpg)

> [Let's go drink until we can't feel feelings anymore.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ramandeep-singh/let-s-go-drink-until-we-can-t-feel-feelings-anymore/)

[Ramandeep Singh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ramandeep-singh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23d/ramandeep-singh-740_drink_let-s-go-drink-until-we-can-t-feel-feeli_2686832.jpg)

> [Why didn't kill me it never made me stronger at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ed-sheeran/why-didn-t-kill-me-it-never-made-me-stronger-at-all/)

[Ed Sheeran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ed-sheeran/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/658/ed-sheeran-2162_drunk_why-didn-t-kill-me-it-never-made-me-stro_1464567.jpg)

> [There are more old drunks than there are old doctors.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/willie-nelson/there-are-more-old-drunks-than-there-are-old-doctors/)

[Willie Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/willie-nelson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/668/willie-nelson-1796_beer_there-are-more-old-drunks-than-there-are_746606.png)

> [“Headaches are for sloths as hangovers for drunks.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ahmed-mostafa/headaches-are-for-sloths-as-hangovers-for-drunks/)

[Ahmed Mostafa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ahmed-mostafa/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/990/ahmed-mostafa-8310_alcoholic_headaches-are-for-sloths-as-hangovers-fo_556599.jpg)

> [I liked you better when you were drunk .](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-hardy/i-liked-you-better-when-you-were-drunk/)

[Tom Hardy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-hardy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f40/tom-hardy-8960_drug_i-liked-you-better-when-you-were-drunk-1_1086076.jpg)

> [Weekend forecast: Mostly drunk, with a chance of horny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/weekend-forecast-mostly-drunk-with-a-chance-of-horny/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e26/anonymous-1_being-drunk_weekend-forecast-mostly-drunk-with-a-cha_1526334.jpg)

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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I should have drunk more Champagne.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I'm drunk on the fiery elixer of beauty.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Drunk Logic: 'She's only ugly in the face.'",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Whenever I get sick, I get my immune system drunk so it will fight anything.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Drunk people don't even realize that they getting hypothermia.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If you love her, let her go out drinking with her friends. If she drunk dials you, she is yours",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I can be drunk until 6 in the morning, and then I don't have to show up to work until 14 hours later.",
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                            "name": "Lewis Black"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "He's a little punch drunk; one too many hits from the snake! -Genie",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Dear 2600: Please forgive my last email to your magazine. I was drunk at the time.”",
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                            "name": "Emmanuel Goldstein"
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                        "text": "I used to think if I didn't have a drink it was going to be a rubbish night, so I'd drink purely to get drunk.",
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                        "text": "...Whose souls, albeit in a cloudy memory, yet seek back their good, but, like drunk men, know not the road home.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Who else would find me at just this moment? First he found me drunk, now he found me cleaning up poo from a barking pony who was about to go into attack mode.",
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                        "text": "You can party, but I better not catch you drunk. (Wulf) (Chris rolled his eyes, then bent down to said to Cassandra’s stomach...) Be wise, little guy, stay in there where Lord King Neurotic can’t kill all your fun. (Chris)",
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                        "text": "Daytime television, you can tell who’s watching by the three kinds of commercials. Either it’s clinics for drying out drunks. Or it’s law firms who want to settle injury suits. Or it’s schools offering mail-order vocational degrees to make you a bookkeeper. A private detective. Or a locksmith. If you’re watching daytime television, this is your new demographic. You’re a drunk. Or a cripple. Or an idiot.",
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                        "text": "My rebellion was telling my dad, \"No, you're wrong, you don't know what's best for me. I'm not gonna waste my time in college.\" You know the story. He thought he was an abject failure 'cause he didn't convince me to go to college. I didn't rebel against my dad's economic status. I didn't rebel against what I thought were old-fashioned, archaic moral values. I didn't rebel by going out and wrecking the car and getting drunk and being irresponsible. I rebelled against their assumption they knew better than I did, what I wanted, and what I needed.",
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                        "text": "There was a euphoria in the music and the way it was delivered, and as the crowds started to get bigger, it fed off itself until it became less about the band and more about being with all those people jumping up and down, drunk to the music.",
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                        "text": "“What is even happening here?\" Will said, looking to each of us and the back to wherever the cougars had wandered off to. \"Am I drunk? Hanna, they just pinched my ass and this one\"- he motioned to George- \"wants to claim me for his own. A little help?\" Hanna took a drink off her frilly drink, complete with big pink umbrella and some sort of neon glow stick. \"I don't know, you seem to be doing pretty well on your own there,\" she said, then took another long pull of her straw.”",
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                        "text": "There was a pause, static, a muttered \"Give me that,\" by an indignant female. Then the normally quiet reserved Ashlyn was demanding, \"Did you just drunk dial my husband?\" \"Yes, ma'am,\" Strider said, and the other two finally burst into laughter.",
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                        "text": "There's something almost impossible about the criminal justice system when it comes to sexual assault cases. It immediately sets up a trial, where witnesses may have been drunk or maybe there were no witnesses and maybe there's no evidence.",
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                        "text": "“So I don’t know why you’re trying to talk yourself out of it now. The hard stuff is over. You dumped the groom, ran out on your wedding reception, and jumped on the back of a Harley in your slip. Then you got drunk and flew to Puerto Rico with your best friend’s older brother, who, incidentally, thinks you look smoking hot. Who’s got more balls than you?”",
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                        "text": "Faith is trusting Jesus to lead us and going where He leads. What avails it to me to analyze Saratoga water, and to believe in its virtues? I must drink the water if I want its purifying power. And the soul that has not actually drunk of Christ can never be purged from sin.",
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                        "text": "“I’m … confused and drunk and horny.”",
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                        "text": "“If you’d saved the girl, you’d be a hero. Next time.”",
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