---
title: "Popular Drunk Quotes"
description: "Browse 2,282 Drunk quotes by 1,498 authors. Discover the best Drunk sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/718/madeleine-l-engle-345_drunk_i-m-apt-to-get-drunk-on-words-ontology-t_2800156.png"
---

> [I'm apt to get drunk on words...Ontology: the word about the essence of things; the word about being.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madeleine-l-engle/i-m-apt-to-get-drunk-on-words-ontology-the-word-about-the-essence-of/)

[Madeleine L'Engle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/madeleine-l-engle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/718/madeleine-l-engle-345_drunk_i-m-apt-to-get-drunk-on-words-ontology-t_2800156.png)

> [You're young, you're drunk, you're in bed, you have knives; shit happens.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angelina-jolie/you-re-young-you-re-drunk-you-re-in-bed-you-have-knives-shit-happens/)

[Angelina Jolie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/angelina-jolie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08a/angelina-jolie-468_quote_you-re-young-you-re-drunk-you-re-in-bed_991369.jpg)

> [I got married, had two kids, watched a lot of football, drunk a lot of pints, etc.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chesney-hawkes/i-got-married-had-two-kids-watched-a-lot-of-football-drunk-a-lot-of/)

[Chesney Hawkes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chesney-hawkes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b51/chesney-hawkes-10644_drunk_i-got-married-had-two-kids-watched-a-lot_1205112.jpg)

> [Cop: Ma'am, could you please step out of the car? Me: I'm kinda drunk, why don't you just get in.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/cop-ma-am-could-you-please-step-out-of-the-car-me-i-m-kinda-drunk-why/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/604/anonymous-1_drunk_cop-ma-am-could-you-please-step-out-of-t_2768964.jpg)

> [“I like to think she hates my guts a little less every hour.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-ramirez/i-like-to-think-she-hates-my-guts-a-little-less-every-hour/)

[Steven Ramirez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-ramirez/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b21/steven-ramirez-13996_chaos_i-like-to-think-she-hates-my-guts-a-litt_1450839.jpg)

> [Alone, I am drunk on my thoughts; in company, I am sober again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/alone-i-am-drunk-on-my-thoughts-in-company-i-am-sober-again/)

[Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/491/mason-cooley-92_business_alone-i-am-drunk-on-my-thoughts-in-compa_1123391.png)

> [I had a hollow leg. I could drink everyone under the table and not get drunk. My capacity was terrifying.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-taylor/i-had-a-hollow-leg-i-could-drink-everyone-under-the-table-and-not-get/)

[Elizabeth Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-taylor/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b3c/elizabeth-taylor-2193_capacity_i-had-a-hollow-leg-i-could-drink-everyon_1735776.jpg)

> [“You're a tall drink of half drunk whiskey, my pigeon toed gypsy.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/atticus/you-re-a-tall-drink-of-half-drunk-whiskey-my-pigeon-toed-gypsy/)

[Atticus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/atticus/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1cd/atticus-22036_drunk_you-re-a-tall-drink-of-half-drunk-whiske_2573916.jpg)

> [Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/often-people-display-a-curious-respect-for-a-man-drunk-rather-like/)

[F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/efc/f-scott-fitzgerald-72_awe-inspiring_often-people-display-a-curious-respect-f_577943.jpg)

> [I doing casual labor by the day. They wouldn't pay you until the next morning. There was a bar that would cash…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fred-ward/i-doing-casual-labor-by-the-day-they-wouldn-t-pay-you-until-the-next/)

[Fred Ward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fred-ward/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/394/fred-ward-30337_bars_i-doing-casual-labor-by-the-day-they-wou_1659995.jpg)

> [I got tired of going to places and people wanting to pick fights with me or to prove something themselves or their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alberto-del-rio/i-got-tired-of-going-to-places-and-people-wanting-to-pick-fights-with/)

[Alberto Del Rio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alberto-del-rio/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/573/alberto-del-rio-10151_drunk_i-got-tired-of-going-to-places-and-peopl_168744.png)

> [“...some men say get them crying on your shoulder and you have the sheets half-unfurled already. Other fellows say get them laughing.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stewart-hennessey/some-men-say-get-them-crying-on-your-shoulder-and-you-have-the-sheets/)

[Stewart Hennessey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stewart-hennessey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/112/stewart-hennessey-280141_humour_some-men-say-get-them-crying-on-your-sho_1915410.jpg)

> [It's in the pub, when I'm having a pint of beer after a hard week of work that I feel at my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-pearson/it-s-in-the-pub-when-i-m-having-a-pint-of-beer-after-a-hard-week-of/)

[Adam Pearson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-pearson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3d/adam-pearson-6304_beer_it-s-in-the-pub-when-i-m-having-a-pint-o_3192899.jpg)

> [“...Or maybe this wasn’t really happening at all, and she’d wake up safe and sound in her bed or even drunk in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bethany-lovell/or-maybe-this-wasn-t-really-happening-at-all-and-she-d-wake-up-safe/)

[Bethany Lovell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bethany-lovell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f65/bethany-lovell-23878_safe-and-sound_or-maybe-this-wasn-t-really-happening-at_1992500.jpg)

> [There is no place like it, no place with an atom of its glory, pride, and exultancy. It lays its hand upon…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/walt-whitman/there-is-no-place-like-it-no-place-with-an-atom-of-its-glory-pride/)

[Walt Whitman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/walt-whitman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/36d/walt-whitman-265_atoms_there-is-no-place-like-it-no-place-with_183439.png)

> [Yeah, so if that guy can make it in drunk, surely we can make it in sober. I mean, we’re ninjas.' 'Well,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/yeah-so-if-that-guy-can-make-it-in-drunk-surely-we-can-make-it-in/)

[John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/699/john-green-12_awkward_yeah-so-if-that-guy-can-make-it-in-drunk_2464768.jpg)

> [“Miranda!” “What?” She batted him with her pillow. “Hoyden! Are you drunk?” “I don’t think so. I’m not sure. They never gave…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gaelen-foley/miranda-what-she-batted-him-with-her-pillow-hoyden-are-you-drunk-i/)

[Gaelen Foley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gaelen-foley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7cd/gaelen-foley-17563_happy-happy_miranda-what-she-batted-him-with-her-pil_1861669.jpg)

> [Knowledge enormous makes a God of me. Names, deeds, gray legends, dire events, rebellions, Majesties, sovran voices, agonies, Creations and destroyings, all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-keats/knowledge-enormous-makes-a-god-of-me-names-deeds-gray-legends-dire/)

[John Keats](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-keats/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d64/john-keats-620_agony_knowledge-enormous-makes-a-god-of-me-nam_1935446.jpg)

> [In my view there is a level of human knowledge that involves just getting it right aptly. This "animal" epistemic level is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-sosa/in-my-view-there-is-a-level-of-human-knowledge-that-involves-just/)

[Ernest Sosa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-sosa/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/171/ernest-sosa-12656_animal_in-my-view-there-is-a-level-of-human-kno_1312715.jpg)

> [“Carlos, what are you doing here?” she asked surprised. He was standing before her in nothing but a blanket wrapped around his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mila-rossi/carlos-what-are-you-doing-here-she-asked-surprised-he-was-standing/)

[Mila Rossi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mila-rossi/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a64/mila-rossi-9041_middle-of-the-night_carlos-what-are-you-doing-here-she-asked_1244997.jpg)

> [The Town Hall Pub on a Wednesday night was just regulars anyway, so we could play whatever. Worst case scenario, it would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-young/the-town-hall-pub-on-a-wednesday-night-was-just-regulars-anyway-so-we/)

[Josh Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-young/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dbd/josh-young-26554_drunk_the-town-hall-pub-on-a-wednesday-night-w_2047853.jpg)

> [If you want someone to be ignored then build a life-size bronze statue of them and stick it in the middle of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/banksy/if-you-want-someone-to-be-ignored-then-build-a-life-size-bronze/)

[Banksy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/banksy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e3/banksy-3076_bronze_if-you-want-someone-to-be-ignored-then-b_1539149.jpg)

> [Want to talk third wave feminism, you could cite Ariel Levy and the idea that women have internalized male oppression. Going to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-palahniuk/want-to-talk-third-wave-feminism-you-could-cite-ariel-levy-and-the/)

[Chuck Palahniuk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-palahniuk/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a2/chuck-palahniuk-37_ariel_want-to-talk-third-wave-feminism-you-cou_39050.jpg)

> [“Lady Astor was also said to have responded to a question from Churchill about what disguise he should wear to a masquerade…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-astor-the-viscountess-astor/lady-astor-was-also-said-to-have-responded-to-a-question-from/)

[Nancy Astor the Viscountess Astor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-astor-the-viscountess-astor/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cea/nancy-astor-the-viscountess-as_churchill_lady-astor-was-also-said-to-have-respond_2723480.jpg)

> [Two things only a man cannot hide, that he is drunk and that he is in love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/two-things-only-a-man-cannot-hide-that-he-is-drunk-and-that-he-is-in/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59f/anonymous-1_drunk_two-things-only-a-man-cannot-hide-that-h_108703.jpg)

> [Someone would say that he was drunk when he was aware that something or someone did not deserve him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aldyna-threesya/someone-would-say-that-he-was-drunk-when-he-was-aware-that-something/)

[Aldyna Threesya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aldyna-threesya/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/745/aldyna-threesya-1616_being-drunk_someone-would-say-that-he-was-drunk-when_1578990.jpg)

> [Peace was declared, but not all of us were drunk with joy or stricken blind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-grosz/peace-was-declared-but-not-all-of-us-were-drunk-with-joy-or-stricken/)

[George Grosz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-grosz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ec/george-grosz-24840_blind_peace-was-declared-but-not-all-of-us-wer_1321182.jpg)

> [I feel like a drummer with no sticks and somebody keeps farting on my snare drum.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-langston/i-feel-like-a-drummer-with-no-sticks-and-somebody-keeps-farting-on-my/)

[Anthony Langston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-langston/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/33c/anthony-langston-65107_drummer_i-feel-like-a-drummer-with-no-sticks-and_2653103.jpg)

> [The only true hangover remedy is to never stop being drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-only-true-hangover-remedy-is-to-never-stop-being-drunk/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/404/anonymous-1_hangover_the-only-true-hangover-remedy-is-to-neve_1639592.jpg)

> [If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-adams/if-your-boss-gets-drunk-and-offers-to-photocopy-her-posterior-do-not/)

[Scott Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-adams/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/364/scott-adams-666_boss_if-your-boss-gets-drunk-and-offers-to-ph_2330964.jpg)

> [It's sort of cliche, but when you're playing drunk, your character is trying to appear sober.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/corey-stoll/it-s-sort-of-cliche-but-when-you-re-playing-drunk-your-character-is/)

[Corey Stoll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corey-stoll/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f2/corey-stoll-14800_character_it-s-sort-of-cliche-but-when-you-re-play_1772474.jpg)

> [True love is like a drunk person, crying, falling and hurting But still saying I can.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/true-love-is-like-a-drunk-person-crying-falling-and-hurting-but-still/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b80/anonymous-1_hurting_true-love-is-like-a-drunk-person-crying_1000733.jpg)

> [Doesn't matter. If I would've had a beer before the game, I would've been drunk. So I don't believe in 'if.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shaquille-o-neal/doesn-t-matter-if-i-would-ve-had-a-beer-before-the-game-i-would-ve/)

[Shaquille O'Neal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shaquille-o-neal/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d7c/shaquille-o-neal-659_basketball_doesn-t-matter-if-i-would-ve-had-a-beer_2703540.jpg)

> [I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk, we go to parties.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-m-not-an-alcoholic-alcoholics-go-to-meetings-i-m-a-drunk-we-go-to/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac3/anonymous-1_alcohol_i-m-not-an-alcoholic-alcoholics-go-to-me_2195980.jpg)

> [“I was at a wake the other night and every man jack was drunk - even the corpse.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/flann-o-brien/i-was-at-a-wake-the-other-night-and-every-man-jack-was-drunk-even-the/)

[flann o'brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/flann-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b9/flann-o-brien-6916_drink_i-was-at-a-wake-the-other-night-and-ever_2481230.png)

> [“You’re not going to campus. You’re going out to get drunk and play with other ladies’ boobies.” - Kye”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/krista-alasti/you-re-not-going-to-campus-you-re-going-out-to-get-drunk-and-play/)

[Krista Alasti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/krista-alasti/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/417/krista-alasti-38724_drunk_you-re-not-going-to-campus-you-re-going_227123.jpg)

> [Imagination is like the drunk man who lost his watch and must get drunk again to find it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/guy-davenport/imagination-is-like-the-drunk-man-who-lost-his-watch-and-must-get/)

[Guy Davenport](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/guy-davenport/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af2/guy-davenport-14485_again_imagination-is-like-the-drunk-man-who-lo_1069426.png)

> [I don't like the feeling of being too drunk; I don't even like the taste of alcoholic drinks half the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-mullin/i-don-t-like-the-feeling-of-being-too-drunk-i-don-t-even-like-the/)

[Paul Mullin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-mullin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4f2/paul-mullin-6815_alcoholic-drinks_i-don-t-like-the-feeling-of-being-too-dr_1730897.jpg)

> [Not only is the old man twice a child, but also the man who is drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plato/not-only-is-the-old-man-twice-a-child-but-also-the-man-who-is-drunk/)

[Plato](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plato/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d0b/plato-103_children_not-only-is-the-old-man-twice-a-child-bu_3164732.jpg)

> [High as fuck, sloppy drunk when I'm passin through, rollin' dubies up, yo hoe who we pass em' too.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wiz-khalifa/high-as-fuck-sloppy-drunk-when-i-m-passin-through-rollin-dubies-up-yo/)

[Wiz Khalifa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wiz-khalifa/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d9b/wiz-khalifa-192_drunk_high-as-fuck-sloppy-drunk-when-i-m-passi_842855.jpg)

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                        "text": "Cop: Ma'am, could you please step out of the car? Me: I'm kinda drunk, why don't you just get in.",
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                        "text": "I doing casual labor by the day. They wouldn't pay you until the next morning. There was a bar that would cash your check if you bought a beer first. A lot of guys never left until they'd drunk up all their money.",
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                        "text": "“...some men say get them crying on your shoulder and you have the sheets half-unfurled already. Other fellows say get them laughing. I say get them drunk. I ordered up more Riesling...”",
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                        "text": "“...Or maybe this wasn’t really happening at all, and she’d wake up safe and sound in her bed or even drunk in an alley somewhere - anywhere but here with this man.”",
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                        "text": "“Miranda!” “What?” She batted him with her pillow. “Hoyden! Are you drunk?” “I don’t think so. I’m not sure. They never gave us wine at Yardley. I feel happy.” “Happy?” He grabbed a corner of the pillow as she whacked him again with it. “Stop it!” “You’re too serious, Winterley!” She reached for another pillow. “I will beat you until you smile!” He ducked out of his chair with a rakish grin as she swung at him, then tackled her flat on the soft bed, both of them laughing. “You are . . . impossible,” he chided with a gentle sigh as he braced his elbows on either side of her head. He traced her cheekbones with the pads of his thumbs. “Difficult, but not impossible.” She wrapped her arms around him, relishing the weight of him atop her, the smoothness of his bare chest against her bodice. “It all depends on who’s trying.” “That sounded distinctly like an invitation,” he murmured.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Knowledge enormous makes a God of me. Names, deeds, gray legends, dire events, rebellions, Majesties, sovran voices, agonies, Creations and destroyings, all at once Pour into the wide hollows of my brain, And deify me, as if some blithe wine Or bright elixir peerless I had drunk, And so become immortal.",
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                        "text": "In my view there is a level of human knowledge that involves just getting it right aptly. This \"animal\" epistemic level is an inferior level in just the way of Diana's long shot in the dark while drunk. That shot is inferior in a certain respect if too poorly selected as a hunter's archery shot, even if not quite as poorly selected as would be a shot aimed at the moon. Even if Diana's too risky shot turns out to be apt by attaining success through sublime archery dexterity, it is still inferior in the particular respect of being so risky and hence so poorly selected.",
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                        "text": "“Carlos, what are you doing here?” she asked surprised. He was standing before her in nothing but a blanket wrapped around his waist. “Are you naked?” she asked shocked. She thought her eyes would pop out of her head. “Don’t freak out, I’m not naked,” he assured and held the blanket in a tighter grip. “I’m wearing underwear.” “Why are you in my house in the middle of the night in your underwear?” She couldn’t stop staring at every inch of his body. The spinning in her head was suddenly on overdrive. If she wasn’t still drunk, she’d jump his bones. She drew in a sudden breath and her eyes got big. “Did we do it?” she got out in a whisper.”",
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                        "text": "The Town Hall Pub on a Wednesday night was just regulars anyway, so we could play whatever. Worst case scenario, it would be the same seven people who were always at the bar getting drunk, and they would be there for us. But we just told our friends and family, and they came out to support us. Then they told their friends, who told their friends, who told their friends. It was a full-on event.",
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                            "name": "Josh Young"
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                        "text": "If you want someone to be ignored then build a life-size bronze statue of them and stick it in the middle of town. It doesn't matter how great you were, it'll always take an unfunny drunk with climbing skills to make people notice you.",
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                        "text": "Want to talk third wave feminism, you could cite Ariel Levy and the idea that women have internalized male oppression. Going to spring break at Fort Lauderdale, getting drunk, and flashing your breasts isn't an act of personal empowerment. It's you, so fashioned and programmed by the construct of patriarchal society that you no longer know what's best for yourself. A damsel too dumb to even know she's in distress.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Lady Astor was also said to have responded to a question from Churchill about what disguise he should wear to a masquerade ball by saying, \"Why don't you come sober, Prime Minister?\" (Reported exchange with Winston Churchill)”",
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                            "name": "Nancy Astor the Viscountess Astor"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Two things only a man cannot hide, that he is drunk and that he is in love",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Someone would say that he was drunk when he was aware that something or someone did not deserve him.",
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                            "name": "Aldyna Threesya"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Peace was declared, but not all of us were drunk with joy or stricken blind.",
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                            "name": "George Grosz"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I feel like a drummer with no sticks and somebody keeps farting on my snare drum.",
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                            "name": "Anthony Langston"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The only true hangover remedy is to never stop being drunk.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.",
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                            "name": "Scott Adams"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "It's sort of cliche, but when you're playing drunk, your character is trying to appear sober.",
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                            "name": "Corey Stoll"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "True love is like a drunk person, crying, falling and hurting But still saying I can.",
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