---
title: "Best Drunk Sayings"
description: "Browse 2,282 Drunk quotes by 1,498 authors. Discover the best Drunk sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/865/scott-pratt-25733_drunk_my-face-i-d-drunk-3162244_3162244.jpg"
---

> [“my face. I’d drunk”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-pratt/my-face-i-d-drunk/)

[Scott Pratt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-pratt/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/865/scott-pratt-25733_drunk_my-face-i-d-drunk-3162244_3162244.jpg)

> [I'm not punch drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nigel-benn/i-m-not-punch-drunk/)

[Nigel Benn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nigel-benn/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd6/nigel-benn-5098_drunk_i-m-not-punch-drunk-1990830_1990830.jpg)

> [I'm drunk but truthful.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-m-drunk-but-truthful/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/98b/anonymous-1_drunk_i-m-drunk-but-truthful-1616420_1616420.jpg)

> [I don't get drunk.. I get awesome](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fading-scars/i-don-t-get-drunk-i-get-awesome/)

Fading\_scars

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95d/fading-scars-4321_awesome_i-don-t-get-drunk-i-get-awesome-3121923_3121923.jpg)

> [I don't like tea! Never have, never drunk it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/catherine-tate/i-don-t-like-tea-never-have-never-drunk-it/)

[Catherine Tate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/catherine-tate/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/22f/catherine-tate-17047_drunk_i-don-t-like-tea-never-have-never-drunk_3210016.jpg)

> [I'm drunk. What's up, bitches? -Brandon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/easy-a/i-m-drunk-what-s-up-bitches-brandon/)

[Easy A](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/easy-a/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a0/easy-a-20880_bitches_i-m-drunk-what-s-up-bitches-brandon-2605_2605819.jpg)

> [A man does not exist until he is drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-hemingway/a-man-does-not-exist-until-he-is-drunk/)

[Ernest Hemingway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-hemingway/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c5/ernest-hemingway-83_doe_a-man-does-not-exist-until-he-is-drunk-2_279459.jpg)

> [“You’re a philosopher.” “No. Just drunk.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-kadrey/you-re-a-philosopher-no-just-drunk/)

[Richard Kadrey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-kadrey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ec/richard-kadrey-3619_drunk_you-re-a-philosopher-no-just-drunk-55110_551108.png)

> [“it made one drunk with delight to look upon it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain-following-the-equator/it-made-one-drunk-with-delight-to-look-upon-it/)

Mark Twain Following the Equator

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ed8/mark-twain-following-the-equat_delight_it-made-one-drunk-with-delight-to-look-u_3129261.jpg)

> [But wait guys, being drunk is cute right?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/but-wait-guys-being-drunk-is-cute-right/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4de/anonymous-1_being-drunk_but-wait-guys-being-drunk-is-cute-right_180932.jpg)

> [A drunkard is a dead man And all dead men are drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-butler-yeats/a-drunkard-is-a-dead-man-and-all-dead-men-are-drunk/)

[William Butler Yeats](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-butler-yeats/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c1/william-butler-yeats-350_dead-man_a-drunkard-is-a-dead-man-and-all-dead-me_1859440.png)

> [“A brick could be used to support a wobbly table. Who got that table drunk, anyway? ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-brick-could-be-used-to-support-a-wobbly-table-who-got-that-table/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fff/jarod-kintz-2_brick_a-brick-could-be-used-to-support-a-wobbl_24501.jpg)

> [“All right, said Nick. Let's get drunk. All right, Bill said. Let's get really drunk.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-hemingway/all-right-said-nick-let-s-get-drunk-all-right-bill-said-let-s-get/)

[Ernest Hemingway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-hemingway/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d0f/ernest-hemingway-83_drinking-alcohol_all-right-said-nick-let-s-get-drunk-all_113534.jpg)

> [I wasn't that drunk... Dude, you were in my bathroom begging my sponge for the krabby patty formula. e\_e](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-wasn-t-that-drunk-dude-you-were-in-my-bathroom-begging-my-sponge/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/692/anonymous-1_amazing_i-wasn-t-that-drunk-dude-you-were-in-my_2250798.jpg)

> [I rely on the promise, 'God is kind to women, fools, and drunk people.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-welsh-carlyle/i-rely-on-the-promise-god-is-kind-to-women-fools-and-drunk-people/)

[Jane Welsh Carlyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-welsh-carlyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16e/jane-welsh-carlyle-13856_drunk_i-rely-on-the-promise-god-is-kind-to-wom_3085712.jpg)

> [Putting my face in food is not a habit I have unless I'm really drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-dawson/putting-my-face-in-food-is-not-a-habit-i-have-unless-i-m-really-drunk/)

Charlotte Dawson

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cda/charlotte-dawson-83236_drunk_putting-my-face-in-food-is-not-a-habit-i_76225.png)

> [\*Saturday Nights\* Me: Online, eating, watching tv. Everyone else: Partying, getting high & drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/saturday-nights-me-online-eating-watching-tv-everyone-else-partying/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7e2/anonymous-1_drunk_saturday-nights-me-online-eating-watchin_670884.jpg)

> [Let us settle down to the serious business of getting drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/poul-anderson/let-us-settle-down-to-the-serious-business-of-getting-drunk/)

[Poul Anderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/poul-anderson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e2/poul-anderson-11424_business_let-us-settle-down-to-the-serious-busine_1135800.png)

> [She’s drunk dialing contractors ” Chloe said to Tara. “Someone should stop her.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/she-s-drunk-dialing-contractors-chloe-said-to-tara-someone-should/)

[Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/da1/jill-shalvis-838_chloe_she-s-drunk-dialing-contractors-chloe-sa_561084.png)

> [I'd rather him (Grover Alexander) pitch a crucial game for me drunk, then anyone I've ever known sober. He was that good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rogers-hornsby/i-d-rather-him-grover-alexander-pitch-a-crucial-game-for-me-drunk/)

[Rogers Hornsby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rogers-hornsby/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2bf/rogers-hornsby-26573_baseball_i-d-rather-him-grover-alexander-pitch-a_2519790.jpg)

> [What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/what-is-it-about-a-beautiful-sunny-afternoon-with-the-birds-singing/)

[Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32d/jack-handey-829_afternoon_what-is-it-about-a-beautiful-sunny-after_302759.jpg)

> [I have always smoked and drunk and loved too much. In fact I have lived not too long but too much. One…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ian-fleming/i-have-always-smoked-and-drunk-and-loved-too-much-in-fact-i-have/)

[Ian Fleming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ian-fleming/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c45/ian-fleming-1862_crabs_i-have-always-smoked-and-drunk-and-loved_1773681.jpg)

> [“Within half an hour almost all the women were drunk, a yardstick Laing had long used to measure the success of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-g-ballard-2/within-half-an-hour-almost-all-the-women-were-drunk-a-yardstick-laing/)

[J.G. Ballard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-g-ballard-2/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be5/j-g-ballard-2-7317_drunk_within-half-an-hour-almost-all-the-women_2432706.png)

> [Unlike some men, I had never drunk for boldness or charm or wit; I had used alcohol for precisely what it was,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-exley/unlike-some-men-i-had-never-drunk-for-boldness-or-charm-or-wit-i-had/)

[Frederick Exley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-exley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69b/frederick-exley-33559_alcohol_unlike-some-men-i-had-never-drunk-for-bo_1311440.png)

> [I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-remember-when-i-was-a-kid-i-used-to-come-home-from-sunday-school/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f13/george-carlin-155_care_i-remember-when-i-was-a-kid-i-used-to-co_2121884.jpg)

> [Life on the road can get a little one-dimensional. I didn't want to reach 40 and have to say all I'd done…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruce-dickinson/life-on-the-road-can-get-a-little-one-dimensional-i-didn-t-want-to/)

[Bruce Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruce-dickinson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b45/bruce-dickinson-9511_bus_life-on-the-road-can-get-a-little-one-di_2480711.jpg)

> [I've drunk Amazon's free Diet Coke. Nothing makes more sense to me than a company trying to make bookselling into a profitable…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lev-grossman/i-ve-drunk-amazon-s-free-diet-coke-nothing-makes-more-sense-to-me/)

[Lev Grossman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lev-grossman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ff/lev-grossman-747_amazon_i-ve-drunk-amazon-s-free-diet-coke-nothi_1322419.jpg)

> [I would like a wine. The purpose of the wine is to get me drunk. A bad wine will get me as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-martin/i-would-like-a-wine-the-purpose-of-the-wine-is-to-get-me-drunk-a-bad/)

[Steve Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/742/steve-martin-593_drink_i-would-like-a-wine-the-purpose-of-the-w_2899692.jpg)

> [I think the Birmingham accent has a lot to do with that, it certainly doesn't help you when you're trying to put…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/clint-mansell/i-think-the-birmingham-accent-has-a-lot-to-do-with-that-it-certainly/)

[Clint Mansell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/clint-mansell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eda/clint-mansell-61604_drunk_i-think-the-birmingham-accent-has-a-lot_1462674.jpg)

> [I work with this wonderful five-piece band, The Tony Guerrero Quintet, along with Kate Flannery, who was Meredith the Drunk in The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-lynch/i-work-with-this-wonderful-five-piece-band-the-tony-guerrero-quintet/)

[Jane Lynch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-lynch/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dff/jane-lynch-2872_albums_i-work-with-this-wonderful-five-piece-ba_863967.jpg)

> [Husband comes home drunk and breaks some crockery, vomits and falls down on the floor... Wife pulls him up and cleans everything.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/husband-comes-home-drunk-and-breaks-some-crockery-vomits-and-falls/)

[Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ce1/ritu-ghatourey-5_last-night_husband-comes-home-drunk-and-breaks-some_978480.jpg)

> [“An empty bottle of Jack is almost just as beautiful as a new and unopened bottle...in the same sense as looking down…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-matthes/an-empty-bottle-of-jack-is-almost-just-as-beautiful-as-a-new-and/)

[Dave Matthes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-matthes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/202/dave-matthes-25447_alcoholism_an-empty-bottle-of-jack-is-almost-just-a_2249075.jpg)

> [I have received some racist abuse, but you will never see me fighting back or being aggressive on Twitter. When I do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nadine-shah/i-have-received-some-racist-abuse-but-you-will-never-see-me-fighting/)

[Nadine Shah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nadine-shah/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b1/nadine-shah-44025_abuse_i-have-received-some-racist-abuse-but-yo_2944764.jpg)

> [Well, the American public always wanted to vote for a guy — and Bush was the perfect guy — who they'd want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/well-the-american-public-always-wanted-to-vote-for-a-guy-and-bush-was/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bea/bill-maher-211_bush_well-the-american-public-always-wanted-t_564830.png)

> [People are used to being stimulated. People are drunk on entertainment and when you're going out and seeing movies where 200 people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alex-jones/people-are-used-to-being-stimulated-people-are-drunk-on-entertainment/)

[Alex Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alex-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/712/alex-jones-12620_censored_people-are-used-to-being-stimulated-peop_635206.jpg)

> [“She’s as drunk as a skunk!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-l-gardner/she-s-as-drunk-as-a-skunk/)

[M.L. Gardner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-l-gardner/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/00c/m-l-gardner-45667_quote_she-s-as-drunk-as-a-skunk-2208154_2208154.jpg)

> [Drunk people suck when they're not me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/drunk-people-suck-when-they-re-not-me/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/74b/anonymous-1_drunk_drunk-people-suck-when-they-re-not-me-12_128571.jpg)

> [Im a little drunk on you, and high on summertime(:](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/im-a-little-drunk-on-you-and-high-on-summertime/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94a/me-7_quote_im-a-little-drunk-on-you-and-high-on-sum_1437332.jpg)

> [I hate talking to drunk people when I'm sober.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-hate-talking-to-drunk-people-when-i-m-sober/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1dc/anonymous-1_drunk_i-hate-talking-to-drunk-people-when-i-m_346147.jpg)

> [This wine should be eaten, it is too good to be drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-swift/this-wine-should-be-eaten-it-is-too-good-to-be-drunk/)

[Jonathan Swift](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-swift/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/98d/jonathan-swift-433_drunk_this-wine-should-be-eaten-it-is-too-good_853107.jpg)

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                        "@type": "Quotation",
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                        "text": "“it made one drunk with delight to look upon it.”",
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                        "text": "A drunkard is a dead man And all dead men are drunk.",
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                        "text": "“A brick could be used to support a wobbly table. Who got that table drunk, anyway?\u2028”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“All right, said Nick. Let's get drunk. All right, Bill said. Let's get really drunk.”",
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                        "text": "I wasn't that drunk... Dude, you were in my bathroom begging my sponge for the krabby patty formula. e_e",
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                        "text": "She’s drunk dialing contractors ” Chloe said to Tara. “Someone should stop her.",
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                        "text": "I'd rather him (Grover Alexander) pitch a crucial game for me drunk, then anyone I've ever known sober. He was that good.",
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                        "text": "What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?",
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                        "text": "I have always smoked and drunk and loved too much. In fact I have lived not too long but too much. One day the Iron Crab will get me. Then I shall have died of living too much.",
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                        "text": "“Within half an hour almost all the women were drunk, a yardstick Laing had long used to measure the success of a party.”",
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                        "text": "Unlike some men, I had never drunk for boldness or charm or wit; I had used alcohol for precisely what it was, a depressant to check the mental exhilaration produced by extended sobriety.",
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                        "text": "I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes",
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                        "text": "Life on the road can get a little one-dimensional. I didn't want to reach 40 and have to say all I'd done was look out the window of a tour bus and get drunk.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I've drunk Amazon's free Diet Coke. Nothing makes more sense to me than a company trying to make bookselling into a profitable business. I'm not anti-Amazon, and I'm not pro-publishers either. I'm pro-books.",
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                        "text": "I would like a wine. The purpose of the wine is to get me drunk. A bad wine will get me as drunk as a good wine. I would like the good wine. And since the result is the same no matter which wine I drink, I'd like to pay the bad wine price.",
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                        "text": "I think the Birmingham accent has a lot to do with that, it certainly doesn't help you when you're trying to put a point across. We also set ourselves up for it sometimes by getting drunk and doing stupid things, but I thought that was what rock 'n' roll was all about.",
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                        "text": "I work with this wonderful five-piece band, The Tony Guerrero Quintet, along with Kate Flannery, who was Meredith the Drunk in The Office, and Tim Davis, who was the vocal arranger on Glee. The three of us sing, and the band is amazing. We've been working together for about two years. So, we decided to do a Christmas album in July.",
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                        "text": "Husband comes home drunk and breaks some crockery, vomits and falls down on the floor... Wife pulls him up and cleans everything. Next day when he gets up he expects her to be really angry wid him... He prays that they should not have a fight.. He finds a note near the table...Honey..your favourite breakfast is ready on the table, I had to leave early to buy grocery... I'll come running back to you, my love. I love you. ... He gets surprised and asks his son..,'what happened last night..?? Son told...,when mom pulled you to bed and tried removing your boots and shirt.. you were fully drunk and you said… Hey Lady ! Leave Me Alone... I M Married !!!",
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                        "text": "“An empty bottle of Jack is almost just as beautiful as a new and unopened bottle...in the same sense as looking down at muddied feet, and looking back the way you came. The journey you've taken to get to this point, the experiences and sights and music listened to, the shit scrolled down on paper. An empty bottle may hold more promise than a full one in that regard...”",
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                        "text": "I have received some racist abuse, but you will never see me fighting back or being aggressive on Twitter. When I do reply, I try to be as kind as possible in order to change these people's opinions. If they look at me as a Muslim voice, and they are being negative and I am being aggressive back, that's only going to reinforce their opinion. So, there is a quite a weight of responsibility. I am constantly checking what I am saying and reigning in my anger. And, I never go on Twitter when I am drunk.",
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                        "text": "Well, the American public always wanted to vote for a guy — and Bush was the perfect guy — who they'd want to have over for pot-roast. And George Bush is that guy. He does that well. You'd like to have him over for pot-roast. He reminds you of yourself. Okay. Well, now he's been over, he's had the pot-roast. But he's getting drunk and now he's talking about stem cells and Terri Schiavo and gay marriage. And now he's the guest that won't leave.",
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