---
title: "Top Drunk Qoutes"
description: "Browse 2,282 Drunk quotes by 1,498 authors. Discover the best Drunk sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b3/vybz-kartel-9908_being-drunk_yo-everybody-drunk-and-happy-raise-your_3126307.jpg"
---

> [Yo, everybody drunk and happy raise your bottles and glasses](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vybz-kartel/yo-everybody-drunk-and-happy-raise-your-bottles-and-glasses/)

[Vybz Kartel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vybz-kartel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b3/vybz-kartel-9908_being-drunk_yo-everybody-drunk-and-happy-raise-your_3126307.jpg)

> [A drinker eats when he's loaded. A real drunk eats when he's not.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paritoshik-sharma/a-drinker-eats-when-he-s-loaded-a-real-drunk-eats-when-he-s-not/)

[Paritoshik Sharma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paritoshik-sharma/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a7/paritoshik-sharma-3286_complicated-life_a-drinker-eats-when-he-s-loaded-a-real-d_1581506.jpg)

> [A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-e-lewis/a-man-is-never-drunk-if-he-can-lay-on-the-floor-without-holding-on/)

[Joe E. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-e-lewis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dae/joe-e-lewis-20279_drunk_a-man-is-never-drunk-if-he-can-lay-on-th_3171360.jpg)

> [I was never afraid of anything because I never hurt anyone. I was always an old drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chavela-vargas/i-was-never-afraid-of-anything-because-i-never-hurt-anyone-i-was/)

[Chavela Vargas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chavela-vargas/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/199/chavela-vargas-43007_afraid_i-was-never-afraid-of-anything-because-i_2141164.png)

> [I hope to go into a poem sober and come out a little drunk. And if I do then that's a real…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dannie-abse/i-hope-to-go-into-a-poem-sober-and-come-out-a-little-drunk-and-if-i/)

[Dannie Abse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dannie-abse/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aae/dannie-abse-48862_drunk_i-hope-to-go-into-a-poem-sober-and-come_1683080.jpg)

> [We Persians have a saying that one should deliberate serious matters first drunk, then sober.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-renault/we-persians-have-a-saying-that-one-should-deliberate-serious-matters/)

[Mary Renault](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-renault/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/712/mary-renault-7614_drunk_we-persians-have-a-saying-that-one-shoul_1725491.jpg)

> [Awkward moment when you had way too many drinks last night.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/awkward-moment-when-you-had-way-too-many-drinks-last-night/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b4/anonymous-1_awkward_awkward-moment-when-you-had-way-too-many_580091.jpg)

> [“...slow and drunk is no match for fast and scared shitless.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ransom-riggs/slow-and-drunk-is-no-match-for-fast-and-scared-shitless/)

[Ransom Riggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ransom-riggs/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/979/ransom-riggs-1816_drunk_slow-and-drunk-is-no-match-for-fast-and_1023603.png)

> [It is Christlike work to soothe and sympathize, and only those who have drunk the cup of sorrow are fully equipped to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-sangster/it-is-christlike-work-to-soothe-and-sympathize-and-only-those-who/)

[W. Sangster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-sangster/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/446/w-sangster-70561_cups_it-is-christlike-work-to-soothe-and-symp_1057528.jpg)

> [You know you're drunk when you hear Look! That guy's so drunk he can't even walk! coming from a dude in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/you-know-you-re-drunk-when-you-hear-look-that-guy-s-so-drunk-he-can-t/)

[Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c96/nikhil-saluja-26_quote_you-know-you-re-drunk-when-you-hear-look_1983456.jpg)

> [“When we drink…we get drunk. When we get drunk…we fall asleep. When we fall asleep…we commit no sin. When we commit no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gagneet/when-we-drink-we-get-drunk-when-we-get-drunk-we-fall-asleep-when-we-3/)

[Gagneet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gagneet/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7f1/gagneet-238774_drunk_when-we-drink-we-get-drunk-when-we-get-d_3072768.jpg)

> [If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk," I said to Ranger. "Not drunk," Ranger said.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/if-i-didn-t-know-better-i-d-think-you-were-trying-to-get-me-drunk-i/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/090/janet-evanovich-291_drunk_if-i-didn-t-know-better-i-d-think-you-we_2809651.jpg)

> [So here I am. Twenty-eight years old, with thirty looming on the horizon. Drunk. Fat. Alone. Unloved. And, worst of all, a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-weiner/so-here-i-am-twenty-eight-years-old-with-thirty-looming-on-the/)

[Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/783/jennifer-weiner-2358_allies_so-here-i-am-twenty-eight-years-old-with_2644749.jpg)

> [Coffee, though a useful medicine, if drunk constantly will at length induce a decay of health , and hectic fever.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-torrey/coffee-though-a-useful-medicine-if-drunk-constantly-will-at-length/)

[Jesse Torrey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-torrey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/adc/jesse-torrey-86765_coffee_coffee-though-a-useful-medicine-if-drunk_2372706.jpg)

> [I may be known as the girl who was sunbathing topless with a Prince but Jordan is known as that thick girl…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jenny-frost/i-may-be-known-as-the-girl-who-was-sunbathing-topless-with-a-prince/)

[Jenny Frost](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jenny-frost/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/848/jenny-frost-57970_clubs_i-may-be-known-as-the-girl-who-was-sunba_1390116.jpg)

> [Be careful with drinking this Christmas. I got so drunk last night I found myself dancing in a cheesy bar... Or, as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sean-hughes/be-careful-with-drinking-this-christmas-i-got-so-drunk-last-night-i/)

[Sean Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sean-hughes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e3b/sean-hughes-101516_bars_be-careful-with-drinking-this-christmas_974258.png)

> [“It was so dark outside, I forgot where I was. I had no sense of geography or time or space, not even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/it-was-so-dark-outside-i-forgot-where-i-was-i-had-no-sense-of/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94b/ree-drummond-818_drunk_it-was-so-dark-outside-i-forgot-where-i_2958408.png)

> [And here I thought we would just be talking, little did I know we'd be taking chances in the closet. You get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/saywecanfly/and-here-i-thought-we-would-just-be-talking-little-did-i-know-we-d-be/)

[SayWeCanFly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/saywecanfly/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/82b/saywecanfly-40488_song-lyrics_and-here-i-thought-we-would-just-be-talk_1888767.jpg)

> [“So I am not a broken heart. I am not the weight I lost or miles or ran and I am not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-eriksson/so-i-am-not-a-broken-heart-i-am-not-the-weight-i-lost-or-miles-or-ran/)

[Charlotte Eriksson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-eriksson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/60c/charlotte-eriksson-3235_apartment_so-i-am-not-a-broken-heart-i-am-not-the_351958.jpg)

> [Now some people when they sit down to write and nothing special comes, no good ideas, are so frightened that they drink…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-ueland/now-some-people-when-they-sit-down-to-write-and-nothing-special-comes/)

[Brenda Ueland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-ueland/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f26/brenda-ueland-3836_cigarette_now-some-people-when-they-sit-down-to-wr_571820.png)

> [Smoking pot makes people talk for long periods of time, for instance, so people who advocate pot won't shut the hell up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-benson/smoking-pot-makes-people-talk-for-long-periods-of-time-for-instance/)

[Doug Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-benson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c80/doug-benson-8961_comic_smoking-pot-makes-people-talk-for-long-p_1834605.png)

> [“I’m drunk,” she mutters. “I can already feel the hangover.” “Thraxa’s good at making it feel like a moral obligation to keep…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pierce-brown/i-m-drunk-she-mutters-i-can-already-feel-the-hangover-thraxa-s-good/)

[Pierce Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pierce-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be3/pierce-brown-1011_last-time_i-m-drunk-she-mutters-i-can-already-feel_778811.jpg)

> [POSSIBLE OPENERS AFTER YOU'VE GOTTEN DRUNK AND SLEPT IN YOUR GUY ROOMMATE'S BED (A LIST):1. Hey, Drew, thanks for letting me sleep…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-barnholdt/possible-openers-after-you-ve-gotten-drunk-and-slept-in-your-guy/)

[Lauren Barnholdt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-barnholdt/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/519/lauren-barnholdt-3965_bed_possible-openers-after-you-ve-gotten-dru_1047530.jpg)

> [“When I was little I would think of ways to kill my daddy. I would figure out this or that way and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kaye-gibbons/when-i-was-little-i-would-think-of-ways-to-kill-my-daddy-i-would/)

[Kaye Gibbons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kaye-gibbons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba3/kaye-gibbons-24209_daddy_when-i-was-little-i-would-think-of-ways_2963710.jpg)

> [Uriah proved to be a better man drunk than David was sober.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-hunt/uriah-proved-to-be-a-better-man-drunk-than-david-was-sober/)

[Johnny Hunt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-hunt/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e55/johnny-hunt-2456_better-man_uriah-proved-to-be-a-better-man-drunk-th_124851.png)

> [“For an instant I saw before me the young girl this used to be.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-ramirez/for-an-instant-i-saw-before-me-the-young-girl-this-used-to-be/)

[Steven Ramirez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-ramirez/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2cf/steven-ramirez-13996_chaos_for-an-instant-i-saw-before-me-the-young_1807788.jpg)

> [I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bette-midler/i-try-not-to-drink-too-much-because-when-i-m-drunk-i-bite/)

[Bette Midler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bette-midler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1c9/bette-midler-1976_bite_i-try-not-to-drink-too-much-because-when_2644997.jpg)

> [Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk, that'll teach you to keep your mouth shut.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jackana/always-do-sober-what-you-said-you-d-do-drunk-that-ll-teach-you-to/)

[Jackana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jackana/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/222/jackana-92148_drinking_always-do-sober-what-you-said-you-d-do-d_1160884.jpg)

> [“God might have been either drunk or naughty when he was creating women.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-f-moonzajer/god-might-have-been-either-drunk-or-naughty-when-he-was-creating-women/)

[M.F. Moonzajer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-f-moonzajer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ac/m-f-moonzajer-244_drunk_god-might-have-been-either-drunk-or-naug_2828531.jpg)

> [I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/winston-churchill/i-may-be-drunk-miss-but-in-the-morning-i-will-be-sober-and-you-will/)

[Winston Churchill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/winston-churchill/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/391/winston-churchill-95_drunk_i-may-be-drunk-miss-but-in-the-morning-i_574688.jpg)

> [For some reason, cats are usually addressed familiarly, though no cat has ever drunk bruderschaft with anyone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mikhail-bulgakov/for-some-reason-cats-are-usually-addressed-familiarly-though-no-cat/)

[Mikhail Bulgakov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mikhail-bulgakov/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/72f/mikhail-bulgakov-1389_cat_for-some-reason-cats-are-usually-address_894590.jpg)

> [If desire did not dim the brain, nobody would ever get married, drunk, or fat. ~Val](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/orson-scott-card/if-desire-did-not-dim-the-brain-nobody-would-ever-get-married-drunk-2/)

[Orson Scott Card](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/orson-scott-card/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/508/orson-scott-card-134_brain_if-desire-did-not-dim-the-brain-nobody-w_1942333.png)

> [“I have never loved like I love you. You've got to know this. My silly drunk girl.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-topper/i-have-never-loved-like-i-love-you-you-ve-got-to-know-this-my-silly/)

[Jessica Topper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-topper/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/090/jessica-topper-42399_drunk_i-have-never-loved-like-i-love-you-you-v_102221.jpg)

> [Listening to drunk people while being sober is entertaining.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/listening-to-drunk-people-while-being-sober-is-entertaining/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/693/anonymous-1_drunk_listening-to-drunk-people-while-being-so_179426.jpg)

> [I think Shakespeare got drunk after he finished King Lear. That he had a ball writing it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-auchincloss/i-think-shakespeare-got-drunk-after-he-finished-king-lear-that-he-had/)

[Louis Auchincloss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-auchincloss/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/02d/louis-auchincloss-14878_balls_i-think-shakespeare-got-drunk-after-he-f_3044170.jpg)

> [“When you get drunk you don't tear anything apart except yourself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/when-you-get-drunk-you-don-t-tear-anything-apart-except-yourself/)

[F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/11f/f-scott-fitzgerald-72_quote_when-you-get-drunk-you-don-t-tear-anythi_1585301.jpg)

> [I'm just funnier when I'm drunk. Not falling-down drunk, just drunk enough to lose the self-doubt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/i-m-just-funnier-when-i-m-drunk-not-falling-down-drunk-just-drunk/)

[Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7cd/doug-stanhope-1528_doubt_i-m-just-funnier-when-i-m-drunk-not-fall_1896462.png)

> [I've had very little sex. I like my Scotch, but I've never been drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/khushwant-singh/i-ve-had-very-little-sex-i-like-my-scotch-but-i-ve-never-been-drunk/)

[Khushwant Singh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/khushwant-singh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8f/khushwant-singh-9061_drunk_i-ve-had-very-little-sex-i-like-my-scotc_2963421.jpg)

> [Nobody, at least sitting in my seat , is defending drunk driving. I am not for drunk driving.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tucker-carlson/nobody-at-least-sitting-in-my-seat-is-defending-drunk-driving-i-am/)

[Tucker Carlson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tucker-carlson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c04/tucker-carlson-1798_driving_nobody-at-least-sitting-in-my-seat-is-de_700555.png)

> [That incident ruined my reputation for 10 years. Get one Beatle drunk and look what happens!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-nilsson/that-incident-ruined-my-reputation-for-10-years-get-one-beatle-drunk/)

[Harry Nilsson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-nilsson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/191/harry-nilsson-36624_beatle_that-incident-ruined-my-reputation-for-1_1102912.jpg)

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- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b009/author-f-scott-fitzgerald-34497.jpg) F. Scott Fitzgerald 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/drunk/f-scott-fitzgerald/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b006/author-cassandra-clare-21529.jpg) Cassandra Clare 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/drunk/cassandra-clare/)

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                        "text": "I was never afraid of anything because I never hurt anyone. I was always an old drunk.",
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                        "text": "I hope to go into a poem sober and come out a little drunk. And if I do then that's a real poem.",
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                        "text": "We Persians have a saying that one should deliberate serious matters first drunk, then sober.",
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                        "text": "Awkward moment when you had way too many drinks last night.",
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                        "text": "“...slow and drunk is no match for fast and scared shitless.”",
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                        "text": "It is Christlike work to soothe and sympathize, and only those who have drunk the cup of sorrow are fully equipped to do it.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "You know you're drunk when you hear Look! That guy's so drunk he can't even walk! coming from a dude in a wheelchair.",
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                        "text": "“When we drink…we get drunk. When we get drunk…we fall asleep. When we fall asleep…we commit no sin. When we commit no sin…we go to heaven. Soooo, lets all get drunk and go to heaven.”",
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                        "text": "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk,\" I said to Ranger. \"Not drunk,\" Ranger said. \"Just relaxed and naked.",
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                        "text": "So here I am. Twenty-eight years old, with thirty looming on the horizon. Drunk. Fat. Alone. Unloved. And, worst of all, a cliche, Ally McBeal and Bridget Jones put together, which was probably about how much I weighed...",
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                        "text": "I may be known as the girl who was sunbathing topless with a Prince but Jordan is known as that thick girl who always falls out of clubs drunk. I know which one I prefer.",
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                        "text": "Be careful with drinking this Christmas. I got so drunk last night I found myself dancing in a cheesy bar... Or, as you like to call it, delicatessen.",
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                        "text": "“It was so dark outside, I forgot where I was. I had no sense of geography or time or space, not even when he took my face in his hands and touched his forehead to mine, closing his eyes, as if to savor the powerful moment. “I love you,” he whispered as I died right there on the spot. It wasn’t convenient, my dying the night before my wedding. I didn’t know how my mom was going to explain it to the florist. But she’d have to; I was totally done for. I’d had half a glass of wine all evening but felt completely inebriated. When I finally arrived home, I had no idea how I’d gotten there. I was intoxicated--drunk on a cowboy. A cowboy who, in less than twenty-four hours, would become my husband.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "And here I thought we would just be talking, little did I know we'd be taking chances in the closet. You get a little drunk and you let a little loose. I might as well shut my mouth and have a couple drinks too. You push me up against the wall, and I can feel your hips and the bittersweet movement of our lips. You whisper to me, ''I want you to be my first one and I want your first one to be me.''",
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                            "caption": "“And here I thought we would just be talking, little did I know we'd be taking chances in the closet. You get…” — SayWeCanFly",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“So I am not a broken heart. I am not the weight I lost or miles or ran and I am not the way I slept on my doorstep under the bare sky in smell of tears and whiskey because my apartment was empty and if I were to be this empty I wanted something solid to sleep on. Like concrete. I am not this year and I am not your fault. I am muscles building cells, a little every day, because they broke that day, but bones are stronger once they heal and I am smiling to the bus driver and replacing my groceries once a week and I am not sitting for hours in the shower anymore. I am the way a life unfolds and bloom and seasons come and go and I am the way the spring always finds a way to turn even the coldest winter into a field of green and flowers and new life. I am not your fault.”",
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                            "name": "Charlotte Eriksson"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Now some people when they sit down to write and nothing special comes, no good ideas, are so frightened that they drink a lot of strong coffee to hurry them up, or smoke packages of cigarettes, or take drugs or get drunk. They do not know that ideas come slowly, and that the more clear, tranquil and unstimulated you are, the slower the ideas come, but the better they are.",
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                            "name": "Brenda Ueland"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Smoking pot makes people talk for long periods of time, for instance, so people who advocate pot won't shut the hell up about it. On the other hand, no one really needs to defend drinking. That's something that frustrates me as a comic: I have to play clubs where selling booze runs the business, so crowds get drunk and yell out a bunch of stupid stuff at me. Pot doesn't cause people to do that. I did a show in Amsterdam a few months ago, and people weren't yelling stuff out at all. They also weren't laughing very much, but I think they were still having a good time.",
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                            "name": "Doug Benson"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I’m drunk,” she mutters. “I can already feel the hangover.” “Thraxa’s good at making it feel like a moral obligation to keep pace.” “Ten credits says we have to scrape Sevro off the patio tomorrow.” “Poor Goblin. All spirit, no body mass.” She laughs. “I put him and Victra in the west wing so we can actually get some sleep. Last time, I woke up in the middle of the night thinking a coyote was caught in the air recycler. I swear, at the pace they’re going they’ll be able to single-handedly populate Pluto in a few years.”",
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                            "name": "Pierce Brown"
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                            "caption": "“I’m drunk,” she mutters. “I can already feel the hangover.” “Thraxa’s good at making it feel like a moral…” — Pierce Brown",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "POSSIBLE OPENERS AFTER YOU'VE GOTTEN DRUNK AND SLEPT IN YOUR GUY ROOMMATE'S BED (A LIST):1. Hey, Drew, thanks for letting me sleep in your bed. I hope I didn't puke all over your sheets.2. What do you mean? I slept in your bed? Really? I don't remember any of it, I was so wasted.3. Thanks for not trying to molest me.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Lauren Barnholdt"
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                            "caption": "“POSSIBLE OPENERS AFTER YOU'VE GOTTEN DRUNK AND SLEPT IN YOUR GUY ROOMMATE'S BED (A LIST):1. Hey, Drew…” — Lauren Barnholdt",
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                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“When I was little I would think of ways to kill my daddy. I would figure out this or that way and run it down through my head until it got easy. The way I liked best was letting go a poisonous spider in his bed. It would bite him and he'd be dead and swollen up and I would shudder to find him so. Of course I would call the rescue squad and tell them to come quick something's the matter with my daddy. When they come in the house I'm all in a state of shock and just don't know how to act what with two colored boys heaving my dead daddy onto a roller cot. I just stand in the door and look like I'm shaking all over. But I did not kill my daddy. He drank his own self to death the year after the County moved me out. I heard how they found him shut up in the house dead and everything. Next thing I know he's in the ground and the house is rented out to a family of four. All I did was wish him dead real hard every now and then. All I can say for a fact that I am better off now than when he was alive.”",
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                            "name": "Kaye Gibbons"
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                            "caption": "“When I was little I would think of ways to kill my daddy. I would figure out this or that way and run it…” — Kaye Gibbons",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Uriah proved to be a better man drunk than David was sober.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Johnny Hunt"
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                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-hunt/uriah-proved-to-be-a-better-man-drunk-than-david-was-sober/",
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                            "caption": "“Uriah proved to be a better man drunk than David was sober.” — Johnny Hunt",
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                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“For an instant I saw before me the young girl this used to be.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steven Ramirez"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-ramirez/for-an-instant-i-saw-before-me-the-young-girl-this-used-to-be/",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Bette Midler"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk, that'll teach you to keep your mouth shut.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jackana"
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                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jackana/always-do-sober-what-you-said-you-d-do-drunk-that-ll-teach-you-to/",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“God might have been either drunk or naughty when he was creating women.”",
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                            "name": "M.F. Moonzajer"
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                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-f-moonzajer/god-might-have-been-either-drunk-or-naughty-when-he-was-creating-women/",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.",
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                            "name": "Winston Churchill"
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                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/winston-churchill/i-may-be-drunk-miss-but-in-the-morning-i-will-be-sober-and-you-will/",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "For some reason, cats are usually addressed familiarly, though no cat has ever drunk bruderschaft with anyone.",
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                            "name": "Mikhail Bulgakov"
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