---
title: "Top Drunk Words"
description: "Browse 2,282 Drunk quotes by 1,498 authors. Discover the best Drunk sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5be/rob-j-hayes-39496_drunk_beeeeeeeeeer-slurred-the-drunk-from-the_2960441.jpg"
---

> [“Beeeeeeeeeer" slurred the drunk from the floor; stirring to life at the sound of alcohol.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-j-hayes/beeeeeeeeeer-slurred-the-drunk-from-the-floor-stirring-to-life-at-the/)

[Rob J. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-j-hayes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5be/rob-j-hayes-39496_drunk_beeeeeeeeeer-slurred-the-drunk-from-the_2960441.jpg)

> [A drunk Lady is a man's responsibility, NOT a man's oppurtunity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeferson-bregano/a-drunk-lady-is-a-man-s-responsibility-not-a-man-s-oppurtunity/)

[Jeferson Bregano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeferson-bregano/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16e/jeferson-bregano-39593_a-real-man_a-drunk-lady-is-a-man-s-responsibility-n_851498.jpg)

> [“They are not unattractive in the sense that I am drunk and they likely have female genitalia.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lance-carbuncle/they-are-not-unattractive-in-the-sense-that-i-am-drunk-and-they/)

[Lance Carbuncle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lance-carbuncle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/295/lance-carbuncle-68886_quote_they-are-not-unattractive-in-the-sense-t_1310527.jpg)

> [“Even now I can’t describe the fear that contaminated my blood like black ink.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-ramirez/even-now-i-can-t-describe-the-fear-that-contaminated-my-blood-like/)

[Steven Ramirez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-ramirez/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d7/steven-ramirez-13996_chaos_even-now-i-can-t-describe-the-fear-that_835810.jpg)

> [As far as I'm concerned the only thing to do is sit in a room and get drunk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kerouac/as-far-as-i-m-concerned-the-only-thing-to-do-is-sit-in-a-room-and-get/)

[Jack Kerouac](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kerouac/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a5/jack-kerouac-182_concerned_as-far-as-i-m-concerned-the-only-thing-t_759958.jpg)

> [In the middle of a crazy and drunk life, you have to hang onto the good and sober moments tightly.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherman-alexie/in-the-middle-of-a-crazy-and-drunk-life-you-have-to-hang-onto-the/)

[Sherman Alexie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherman-alexie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/adc/sherman-alexie-444_crazy_in-the-middle-of-a-crazy-and-drunk-life_3217746.png)

> [ As an actor, that's nerve-wracking enough \[drunk and doing coke\] because you have to do it at the right level. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ray-romano/as-an-actor-that-s-nerve-wracking-enough-drunk-and-doing-coke-because/)

[Ray Romano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ray-romano/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/385/ray-romano-3515_actors_as-an-actor-that-s-nerve-wracking-enough_2200019.jpg)

> [Sit, be still, and listen, because you're drunk and we're at the edge of the roof.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rumi/sit-be-still-and-listen-because-you-re-drunk-and-we-re-at-the-edge-of/)

[Rumi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rumi/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ff/rumi-56_body_sit-be-still-and-listen-because-you-re-d_247507.jpg)

> [I'm touring and I'm bored and it's an off day or I'm travelling and boom, there ya go, it's fun again cause…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kirk-windstein/i-m-touring-and-i-m-bored-and-it-s-an-off-day-or-i-m-travelling-and/)

[Kirk Windstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kirk-windstein/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/205/kirk-windstein-50484_bored_i-m-touring-and-i-m-bored-and-it-s-an-of_1999314.jpg)

> [“You were drunk. I wanted to hear the words when you were of sound mind. Women get drunk all the time and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jodi-ellen-malpas/you-were-drunk-i-wanted-to-hear-the-words-when-you-were-of-sound-mind/)

[Jodi Ellen Malpas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jodi-ellen-malpas/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3c0/jodi-ellen-malpas-1010_drunk_you-were-drunk-i-wanted-to-hear-the-word_2905945.jpg)

> [Two whales walked into a bar. One said, Weeeeeeeee-ooooooooo-uuuuuuuuuu-hhhh. The other whale said, Shut up, Steve. You're drunk!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/green-monk/two-whales-walked-into-a-bar-one-said-weeeeeeeee-ooooooooo-uuuuuuuuuu/)

[Green Monk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/green-monk/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a53/green-monk-388_drunk_two-whales-walked-into-a-bar-one-said-we_198778.jpg)

> [“If you ever have children, tell them they must always be drunk. Drunk on love, drunk on poetry, drunk on wine, it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-hale/if-you-ever-have-children-tell-them-they-must-always-be-drunk-drunk/)

[Benjamin Hale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-hale/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/749/benjamin-hale-50848_children_if-you-ever-have-children-tell-them-they_12075.jpg)

> [That's why we fuck up all the paper we see. We hit the clubs, fuckin ladies for free. Getting drunk, off and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-jones/that-s-why-we-fuck-up-all-the-paper-we-see-we-hit-the-clubs-fuckin/)

[Jim Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/84c/jim-jones-16286_getting-drunk_that-s-why-we-fuck-up-all-the-paper-we-s_879932.jpg)

> [Our Adonais has drunk poisonoh! What deaf and viperous murderer could crown Life's early cup with such a draught of woe?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/percy-bysshe-shelley/our-adonais-has-drunk-poisonoh-what-deaf-and-viperous-murderer-could/)

[Percy Bysshe Shelley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/percy-bysshe-shelley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/943/percy-bysshe-shelley-476_crowns_our-adonais-has-drunk-poisonoh-what-deaf_99506.jpg)

> [“You don't know what a bad day is until you wake up after a three-day drunk and find out a trap spider…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-ponticello/you-don-t-know-what-a-bad-day-is-until-you-wake-up-after-a-three-day/)

[Matt Ponticello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-ponticello/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b7/matt-ponticello-84701_bad-day_you-don-t-know-what-a-bad-day-is-until-y_3162784.jpg)

> [YOU EVER BEEN SO DRUNK AND THOUGHT YOU WERE IN A GIRLS BATHROOM TO PISS AND WENT HER CLOSET AND PISSED ON…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-epps/you-ever-been-so-drunk-and-thought-you-were-in-a-girls-bathroom-to/)

[Mike Epps](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-epps/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/02e/mike-epps-14255_quote_you-ever-been-so-drunk-and-thought-you-w_2032339.jpg)

> [“None of these lads here were out getting fighting drunk last night. And thus we wear down mountains. Water dripping on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/none-of-these-lads-here-were-out-getting-fighting-drunk-last-night/)

[Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e46/terry-pratchett-19_games_none-of-these-lads-here-were-out-getting_1572329.jpg)

> [“Oscar!” she shouted into the hallway. A young man, quite mortal and very drunk, appeared. “Really, Oscar! What are you doing?” “Attempting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rhiannon-frater/oscar-she-shouted-into-the-hallway-a-young-man-quite-mortal-and-very/)

[Rhiannon Frater](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rhiannon-frater/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/734/rhiannon-frater-20538_drunk_oscar-she-shouted-into-the-hallway-a-you_2385264.jpg)

> [The reason that last-ditch political maneuvering has become business as usual in Washington is that the actors involved are drunk on blame…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/walter-kirn/the-reason-that-last-ditch-political-maneuvering-has-become-business/)

[Walter Kirn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/walter-kirn/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b6/walter-kirn-2189_actor_the-reason-that-last-ditch-political-man_139067.jpg)

> [“He went to the bar and stood there a while. But he was in the way of people getting their drinks. He…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-banks/he-went-to-the-bar-and-stood-there-a-while-but-he-was-in-the-way-of/)

[Melissa Banks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-banks/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d2/melissa-banks-43013_drunk_he-went-to-the-bar-and-stood-there-a-whi_2634805.jpg)

> [I go to the saltwater and wash off the blood, trying to decide which I hate more, pain or itching. Fed up,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzanne-collins/i-go-to-the-saltwater-and-wash-off-the-blood-trying-to-decide-which-i/)

[Suzanne Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzanne-collins/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d3/suzanne-collins-60_beach_i-go-to-the-saltwater-and-wash-off-the-b_1557446.jpg)

> [Almost everything we do is automatic, yet we're not aware of that. We feel like there's a circle of light. We're like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-haidt/almost-everything-we-do-is-automatic-yet-we-re-not-aware-of-that-we/)

[Jonathan Haidt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-haidt/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3c7/jonathan-haidt-1823_animal_almost-everything-we-do-is-automatic-yet_394558.jpg)

> [I would like to apologize for referring to George W. Bush as a 'deserter.' What I meant to say is that George…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-moore/i-would-like-to-apologize-for-referring-to-george-w-bush-as-a/)

[Michael Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-moore/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a2/michael-moore-884_apologizing_i-would-like-to-apologize-for-referring_1451335.jpg)

> [The basic function of a comic is stand-up because it's so straightforward and simple. If the audience don't laugh, you didn't do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcus-brigstocke/the-basic-function-of-a-comic-is-stand-up-because-it-s-so/)

[Marcus Brigstocke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcus-brigstocke/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/90f/marcus-brigstocke-14795_audience_the-basic-function-of-a-comic-is-stand-u_1421181.jpg)

> [I was a little drunk. Not drunk in any positive sense but just enough to be careless.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-hemingway/i-was-a-little-drunk-not-drunk-in-any-positive-sense-but-just-enough/)

[Ernest Hemingway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-hemingway/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ee/ernest-hemingway-83_careless_i-was-a-little-drunk-not-drunk-in-any-po_802239.jpg)

> [Drunk on the cock, never been harder. We light things up like a fucking fire starter.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/360/drunk-on-the-cock-never-been-harder-we-light-things-up-like-a-fucking/)

[360](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/360/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/26a/360-20444_cock_drunk-on-the-cock-never-been-harder-we-l_2580031.jpg)

> [When I played drunks I had to remain sober because I didn't know how to play them when I was drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-burton/when-i-played-drunks-i-had-to-remain-sober-because-i-didn-t-know-how/)

[Richard Burton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-burton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c92/richard-burton-13165_because_when-i-played-drunks-i-had-to-remain-sob_1832922.jpg)

> [Every time we have been drunk on Jager it's been - either we didn't remember or it's been insane.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlie-benante/every-time-we-have-been-drunk-on-jager-it-s-been-either-we-didn-t/)

[Charlie Benante](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlie-benante/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/daa/charlie-benante-19642_drunk_every-time-we-have-been-drunk-on-jager-i_859661.jpg)

> [“Watch her eyes the first time you really fuck her deep. You'll be drunk on her for days. I was.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kit-rocha/watch-her-eyes-the-first-time-you-really-fuck-her-deep-you-ll-be/)

[Kit Rocha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kit-rocha/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eea/kit-rocha-1634_drunk_watch-her-eyes-the-first-time-you-really_2295004.jpg)

> [“Two things a man can't hide; that he is drunk and that he is in love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aman-jassal/two-things-a-man-can-t-hide-that-he-is-drunk-and-that-he-is-in-love/)

[Aman Jassal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aman-jassal/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d4/aman-jassal-36305_drink_two-things-a-man-can-t-hide-that-he-is-d_3013210.jpg)

> [I was so delirious that I drank a glass of water, thought it wine and got glorious drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/will-m-cook/i-was-so-delirious-that-i-drank-a-glass-of-water-thought-it-wine-and/)

[Will M Cook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/will-m-cook/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dba/will-m-cook-73506_quote_i-was-so-delirious-that-i-drank-a-glass_2186868.jpg)

> [“I may not know what love is,” he said, “but, by God, at least I’ve never gotten drunk by myself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kurt-vonnegut/i-may-not-know-what-love-is-he-said-but-by-god-at-least-i-ve-never/)

[Kurt Vonnegut](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kurt-vonnegut/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8d/kurt-vonnegut-41_drunk_i-may-not-know-what-love-is-he-said-but_3098950.jpg)

> [There are plenty of alcoholics who can be magnificent when drunk: it does not make them any less alcoholic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ingrid-bengis/there-are-plenty-of-alcoholics-who-can-be-magnificent-when-drunk-it/)

[Ingrid Bengis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ingrid-bengis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a30/ingrid-bengis-29669_alcoholic_there-are-plenty-of-alcoholics-who-can-b_31802.jpg)

> [I'm a hop on the bus with Biz. Yo Brother let's get drunk and I'm coming with blunt after blunt of this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/layzie-bone/i-m-a-hop-on-the-bus-with-biz-yo-brother-let-s-get-drunk-and-i-m/)

[Layzie Bone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/layzie-bone/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5b6/layzie-bone-26013_drunk_i-m-a-hop-on-the-bus-with-biz-yo-brother_2912633.jpg)

> [“Remember literature, Charlie? It involved getting drunk and getting laid.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-delillo/remember-literature-charlie-it-involved-getting-drunk-and-getting-laid/)

[Don DeLillo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/don-delillo/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/310/don-delillo-294_books_remember-literature-charlie-it-involved_980673.jpg)

> [You can't kill rock and roll without a silver bullet because she's a werewolf.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-langston/you-can-t-kill-rock-and-roll-without-a-silver-bullet-because-she-s-a/)

[Anthony Langston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-langston/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69a/anthony-langston-65107_bullet_you-can-t-kill-rock-and-roll-without-a-s_599085.jpg)

> [It's as if people used the invention of seat belts as an opportunity to take up drunk driving.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-lanchester/it-s-as-if-people-used-the-invention-of-seat-belts-as-an-opportunity/)

[John Lanchester](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-lanchester/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fe2/john-lanchester-2601_belts_it-s-as-if-people-used-the-invention-of_3202199.png)

> [When I'm drunk I tell the cops the fires lit themselves I swear it, they seem to never beileve me though](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-campbell/when-i-m-drunk-i-tell-the-cops-the-fires-lit-themselves-i-swear-it/)

[Mike Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-campbell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4f6/mike-campbell-10419_drunk_when-i-m-drunk-i-tell-the-cops-the-fires_2113829.jpg)

> [I'm drunk and high at the same time/Drinking champagne on the airplane.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/2-chainz/i-m-drunk-and-high-at-the-same-time-drinking-champagne-on-the-airplane/)

[2 Chainz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/2-chainz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd1/2-chainz-2126_airplane_i-m-drunk-and-high-at-the-same-time-drin_2102407.png)

> [“I beg your pardon; I am drunk without a drink. English wine & words are vulnerable to every man.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/santosh-kalwar/i-beg-your-pardon-i-am-drunk-without-a-drink-english-wine-words-are/)

[Santosh Kalwar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/santosh-kalwar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9aa/santosh-kalwar-748_drink_i-beg-your-pardon-i-am-drunk-without-a-d_213926.jpg)

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                        "text": "As an actor, that's nerve-wracking enough [drunk and doing coke] because you have to do it at the right level.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I'm touring and I'm bored and it's an off day or I'm travelling and boom, there ya go, it's fun again cause I'm drunk.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“You were drunk. I wanted to hear the words when you were of sound mind. Women get drunk all the time and confess their undying love to me.”",
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                        "text": "Two whales walked into a bar. One said, Weeeeeeeee-ooooooooo-uuuuuuuuuu-hhhh. The other whale said, Shut up, Steve. You're drunk!",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“If you ever have children, tell them they must always be drunk. Drunk on love, drunk on poetry, drunk on wine, it doesn’t matter. This world is too goddamn painful to waste a second of your existence sober.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "That's why we fuck up all the paper we see. We hit the clubs, fuckin ladies for free. Getting drunk, off and hazin' the V.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Our Adonais has drunk poisonoh! What deaf and viperous murderer could crown Life's early cup with such a draught of woe?",
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                        "text": "“You don't know what a bad day is until you wake up after a three-day drunk and find out a trap spider built its nest in your asshole.”",
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                        "text": "YOU EVER BEEN SO DRUNK AND THOUGHT YOU WERE IN A GIRLS BATHROOM TO PISS AND WENT HER CLOSET AND PISSED ON HER SHOES!! 2 Nov",
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                        "text": "“None of these lads here were out getting fighting drunk last night. And thus we wear down mountains. Water dripping on a stone, dissolving and removing. Changing the shape of the world, one drop at a time. Water dripping on a stone, Commander. Water flowing underground, bubbling up in unexpected places.”",
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                        "text": "“Oscar!” she shouted into the hallway. A young man, quite mortal and very drunk, appeared. “Really, Oscar! What are you doing?” “Attempting to walk,” he answered, and promptly fell to the ground. “He cannot hold his liquor at all,” she sighed, fanning herself. “I really do not know why I keep him around.” “I satisfy your every need,” he answered from the floor.”",
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                        "text": "The reason that last-ditch political maneuvering has become business as usual in Washington is that the actors involved are drunk on blame and are convinced that the voting public is, too. They count on outrage, thereby spreading numbness. They cherish the prospect of partisan fury, thereby inspiring nonpartisan disgust.",
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                        "text": "“He went to the bar and stood there a while. But he was in the way of people getting their drinks. He moved to the edge of the crowd and just watched. Suddenly it seemed, he was drunk, in a suit that didn't fit, at a party where he didn't know anyone, and he was standing alone.”",
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                        "text": "I go to the saltwater and wash off the blood, trying to decide which I hate more, pain or itching. Fed up, I stomp back onto the beach, turn my face upward and snap, \"Hey, Haymitch, if you're not too drunk, we could use a little something for our skin.\" It's almost funny how quickly the parachute appears above me. I reach up and the tube lands squarely in my open hand. \"About time\" I say, but I can't keep the scowl on my face. Haymitch. What I wouldn't give for five minutes of conversation with him.",
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                        "text": "Almost everything we do is automatic, yet we're not aware of that. We feel like there's a circle of light. We're like the drunk who lost his keys and is looking under the streetlight, and the cop says, \"Where'd you lose your keys?\" You say, \"Back in the alley, but the light's so much better over here.\" The divided self refers to the fact that we are basically animals with animal brains. These animal brains run our lives. They're very good at it.",
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                        "text": "I would like to apologize for referring to George W. Bush as a 'deserter.' What I meant to say is that George W. Bush is a deserter, an election thief, a drunk driver, a WMD liar, and a functional illiterate. And he poops his pants.",
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                        "text": "The basic function of a comic is stand-up because it's so straightforward and simple. If the audience don't laugh, you didn't do your job. I've had some audiences where I didn't care if they laughed or not because they were either too drunk or stupid.",
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                        "text": "I was a little drunk. Not drunk in any positive sense but just enough to be careless.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Drunk on the cock, never been harder. We light things up like a fucking fire starter.",
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                        "text": "When I played drunks I had to remain sober because I didn't know how to play them when I was drunk.",
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                        "text": "Every time we have been drunk on Jager it's been - either we didn't remember or it's been insane.",
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                        "text": "“Watch her eyes the first time you really fuck her deep. You'll be drunk on her for days. I was.”",
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                        "text": "“Two things a man can't hide; that he is drunk and that he is in love.”",
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                        "text": "I was so delirious that I drank a glass of water, thought it wine and got glorious drunk.",
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                        "text": "“I may not know what love is,” he said, “but, by God, at least I’ve never gotten drunk by myself.”",
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