---
title: "Famous Drunk Wisdom"
description: "Browse 2,282 Drunk quotes by 1,498 authors. Discover the best Drunk sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ea/max-greenfield-13127_acting_there-is-nothing-worse-than-bad-drunk-ac_2702580.png"
---

> [There is nothing worse than bad drunk acting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/max-greenfield/there-is-nothing-worse-than-bad-drunk-acting/)

[Max Greenfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/max-greenfield/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ea/max-greenfield-13127_acting_there-is-nothing-worse-than-bad-drunk-ac_2702580.png)

> [This is how u look when ur drunk n working like a dog .](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/satan/this-is-how-u-look-when-ur-drunk-n-working-like-a-dog/)

[Satan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/satan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d6d/satan-49438_dog_this-is-how-u-look-when-ur-drunk-n-worki_725360.jpg)

> [“Tea is drunk to forget the din of the world.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-ien-yiheng/tea-is-drunk-to-forget-the-din-of-the-world/)

T'ien Yiheng

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92f/t-ien-yiheng-281085_tea_tea-is-drunk-to-forget-the-din-of-the-wo_1331042.jpg)

> [Being sober around drunk people is the worst.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/being-sober-around-drunk-people-is-the-worst/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e8/anonymous-1_drunk_being-sober-around-drunk-people-is-the-w_2300822.jpg)

> [Let's quit and become famous for being drunk 24/7 ?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/let-s-quit-and-become-famous-for-being-drunk-24-7/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b27/anonymous-1_being-drunk_let-s-quit-and-become-famous-for-being-d_2083954.jpg)

> [“There ain't no devil, just God when he's drunk.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-waits/there-ain-t-no-devil-just-god-when-he-s-drunk/)

[Tom Waits](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-waits/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92d/tom-waits-916_inspirational_there-ain-t-no-devil-just-god-when-he-s_1846824.jpg)

> [The important thing is to be drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/the-important-thing-is-to-be-drunk/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fee/chelsea-handler-887_drunk_the-important-thing-is-to-be-drunk-16987_1698702.png)

> [So I just watched a drunk guy get hit by a bus... xD](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-hill/so-i-just-watched-a-drunk-guy-get-hit-by-a-bus-xd/)

[Josh Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-hill/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ff/josh-hill-47627_funny_so-i-just-watched-a-drunk-guy-get-hit-by_1345614.jpg)

> [“If television's a babysitter, the Internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-gambrell/if-television-s-a-babysitter-the-internet-is-a-drunk-librarian-who/)

Dorothy Gambrell

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c43/dorothy-gambrell-74914_babysitter_if-television-s-a-babysitter-the-interne_505011.jpg)

> [My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/my-dad-was-the-town-drunk-most-of-the-time-that-s-not-so-bad-but-new/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/97f/henny-youngman-1539_dad_my-dad-was-the-town-drunk-most-of-the-ti_1520222.jpg)

> [I wanna get a little drunk, but I also want some pancakes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-attell/i-wanna-get-a-little-drunk-but-i-also-want-some-pancakes/)

[Dave Attell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-attell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e7/dave-attell-6101_drunk_i-wanna-get-a-little-drunk-but-i-also-wa_999711.png)

> [I'd sing for any friend's happiness. I don't have to get drunk to do so.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yo-yo-honey-singh/i-d-sing-for-any-friend-s-happiness-i-don-t-have-to-get-drunk-to-do-so/)

[Yo Yo Honey Singh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yo-yo-honey-singh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c0/yo-yo-honey-singh-7124_drunk_i-d-sing-for-any-friend-s-happiness-i-do_796289.jpg)

> [“Remember, #GIRLBOSS: It’s not cool to get drunk on your own success.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sophia-amoruso/remember-girlboss-it-s-not-cool-to-get-drunk-on-your-own-success/)

[Sophia Amoruso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sophia-amoruso/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a9/sophia-amoruso-2394_drunk_remember-girlboss-it-s-not-cool-to-get-d_817275.png)

> [I was always like, "I'm going to be the drunk judge who's like, 'Objection!' 'In chambers!' "](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/winona-ryder/i-was-always-like-i-m-going-to-be-the-drunk-judge-who-s-like/)

[Winona Ryder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/winona-ryder/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fda/winona-ryder-1469_chamber_i-was-always-like-i-m-going-to-be-the-dr_2118079.jpg)

> [“What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?” “You ask a glass of water.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/douglas-adams/what-s-so-unpleasant-about-being-drunk-you-ask-a-glass-of-water/)

[Douglas Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/douglas-adams/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d2a/douglas-adams-122_drunk_what-s-so-unpleasant-about-being-drunk-y_2926992.png)

> [I've kissed more bottles then girls, and honestly a hangover hurts less then a heartbreak.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-merrow/i-ve-kissed-more-bottles-then-girls-and-honestly-a-hangover-hurts/)

[James Merrow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-merrow/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/490/james-merrow-2327_drunk_i-ve-kissed-more-bottles-then-girls-and_2704956.jpg)

> [After the crash happened, I was so humiliated and embarrassed. I thought of Mothers Against Drunk Drivers, that they must hate me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tracey-gold/after-the-crash-happened-i-was-so-humiliated-and-embarrassed-i/)

[Tracey Gold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tracey-gold/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dda/tracey-gold-19268_crash_after-the-crash-happened-i-was-so-humili_112005.jpg)

> [“Having drunk the dregs of Your Love, I am intoxicated beyond recognition. Now, I only pray for the nearness of You so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kamand-kojouri/having-drunk-the-dregs-of-your-love-i-am-intoxicated-beyond/)

[Kamand Kojouri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kamand-kojouri/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/749/kamand-kojouri-1973_advance_having-drunk-the-dregs-of-your-love-i-am_2339200.jpg)

> [Neoliberalism has left Britain's boss classes drunk on triumphalism, paying themselves record salaries and bonuses while their workers are imprisoned by poverty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/owen-jones/neoliberalism-has-left-britain-s-boss-classes-drunk-on-triumphalism/)

[Owen Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/owen-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/67d/owen-jones-3992_boss_neoliberalism-has-left-britain-s-boss-cl_2693926.png)

> [There's the really angry drunk, who's just annoying to be around. I prefer the drunk who falls all over the place and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aaron-paul/there-s-the-really-angry-drunk-who-s-just-annoying-to-be-around-i/)

[Aaron Paul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aaron-paul/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09c/aaron-paul-4009_angry_there-s-the-really-angry-drunk-who-s-jus_1545806.jpg)

> [The Internet is like closing time at a blue-collar bar in Boston. Everyone’s drunk and ugly and they’re going to pass out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leon-wieseltier/the-internet-is-like-closing-time-at-a-blue-collar-bar-in-boston/)

[Leon Wieseltier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leon-wieseltier/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/555/leon-wieseltier-27120_bars_the-internet-is-like-closing-time-at-a-b_1585217.png)

> [The thing that I think a lot of guys need to know how to do is not take your mother's advice about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-devine/the-thing-that-i-think-a-lot-of-guys-need-to-know-how-to-do-is-not/)

[Adam DeVine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-devine/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2bd/adam-devine-13045_about_the-thing-that-i-think-a-lot-of-guys-nee_172091.jpg)

> [“Cut me own throat had drifted off and was doing business with those late night revelers who were too drunk to prevent…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/cut-me-own-throat-had-drifted-off-and-was-doing-business-with-those/)

[Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d9/terry-pratchett-19_drunk_cut-me-own-throat-had-drifted-off-and-wa_67353.jpg)

> [I work for a few at home who are devoted. People who are up now. Either they have some sort of bladder…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-proops/i-work-for-a-few-at-home-who-are-devoted-people-who-are-up-now-either/)

[Greg Proops](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-proops/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c03/greg-proops-10669_bladder_i-work-for-a-few-at-home-who-are-devoted_2303971.jpg)

> [ I mean we \[The Beatles\] had to go through humiliation upon humiliation with the middle classes and showbiz and Lord Mayors and… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-lennon/i-mean-we-the-beatles-had-to-go-through-humiliation-upon-humiliation/)

[John Lennon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-lennon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/53b/john-lennon-322_class_i-mean-we-the-beatles-had-to-go-through_2183945.jpg)

> [The audience loves us! They buy out all our shows and really enjoy themselves but the press keeps right on bombin' us.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dusty-hill/the-audience-loves-us-they-buy-out-all-our-shows-and-really-enjoy/)

[Dusty Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dusty-hill/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/533/dusty-hill-7832_audience_the-audience-loves-us-they-buy-out-all-o_2534840.jpg)

> [It is difficult to feel sympathy for these people. It is difficult to regard some bawdy drunk and see them as sick…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-brand/it-is-difficult-to-feel-sympathy-for-these-people-it-is-difficult-to/)

[Russell Brand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-brand/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/caf/russell-brand-1242_addict_it-is-difficult-to-feel-sympathy-for-the_458188.jpg)

> [I had drunk our great cultural Kool-Aid about regret, which is that lamenting things that occurred in the past is an absolute…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathryn-schulz/i-had-drunk-our-great-cultural-kool-aid-about-regret-which-is-that/)

[Kathryn Schulz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathryn-schulz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef4/kathryn-schulz-7782_absolutes_i-had-drunk-our-great-cultural-kool-aid_2976604.png)

> [“I'm fine right here." All patience, he bent down until his face was close to hers. "What you are is hoping to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-robb/i-m-fine-right-here-all-patience-he-bent-down-until-his-face-was/)

[j.d. robb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-robb/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/83e/j-d-robb-662_eve_i-m-fine-right-here-all-patience-he-bent_1639675.jpg)

> [The dramatically different manner in which we, as a nation, responded to the crisis presented by drunk driving and the crisis caused…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-alexander/the-dramatically-different-manner-in-which-we-as-a-nation-responded/)

[Michelle Alexander](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-alexander/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a1/michelle-alexander-750_cocaine_the-dramatically-different-manner-in-whi_2567529.jpg)

> [I listened to a clip someone had put up of me singing 'I Am What I Am' in the musical 'La Cage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-allam/i-listened-to-a-clip-someone-had-put-up-of-me-singing-i-am-what-i-am/)

[Roger Allam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-allam/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/160/roger-allam-7409_cool_i-listened-to-a-clip-someone-had-put-up_1925615.jpg)

> [I remember having my father stand over me when I had driven over my own foot; one leg was out of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/randy-bachman/i-remember-having-my-father-stand-over-me-when-i-had-driven-over-my/)

[Randy Bachman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/randy-bachman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a8/randy-bachman-16371_again_i-remember-having-my-father-stand-over-m_1713902.jpg)

> [Wow really...some one was drunk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/wow-really-some-one-was-drunk/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d61/anonymous-1_stupid-people_wow-really-some-one-was-drunk-1875029_1875029.jpg)

> [There is nothing left to do but get drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/franklin-pierce/there-is-nothing-left-to-do-but-get-drunk/)

[Franklin Pierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/franklin-pierce/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3dc/franklin-pierce-24059_drunk_there-is-nothing-left-to-do-but-get-drun_3112517.jpg)

> [Isn't there a danger with Tweeting, like drunk dialing? Isn't there a drunk Tweeting danger?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julianna-margulies/isn-t-there-a-danger-with-tweeting-like-drunk-dialing-isn-t-there-a/)

[Julianna Margulies](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julianna-margulies/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/452/julianna-margulies-11551_danger_isn-t-there-a-danger-with-tweeting-like_579301.jpg)

> [Politicians use statistics in the same way that a drunk uses lamp-postsfor support rather than illumination.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-lang/politicians-use-statistics-in-the-same-way-that-a-drunk-uses-lamp/)

[Andrew Lang](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-lang/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62f/andrew-lang-15654_drunk_politicians-use-statistics-in-the-same-w_3195457.png)

> [As long as I could pitch a little, no one cared that I was getting drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-newcombe/as-long-as-i-could-pitch-a-little-no-one-cared-that-i-was-getting/)

Don Newcombe

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d6f/don-newcombe-80819_drunk_as-long-as-i-could-pitch-a-little-no-one_2706722.jpg)

> [“To go to the wine house and not to get drunk is as difficult as to dive into a pool and not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/to-go-to-the-wine-house-and-not-to-get-drunk-is-as-difficult-as-to/)

[Mehmet Murat ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb8/mehmet-murat-ildan-3_drunk_to-go-to-the-wine-house-and-not-to-get-d_2415731.jpg)

> [My apologies if you were under the impression that I have feelings because I only have one. Drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/my-apologies-if-you-were-under-the-impression-that-i-have-feelings/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b44/anonymous-1_quote_my-apologies-if-you-were-under-the-impre_1030679.jpg)

> [Drunk thought. Instagram shows me who I truly want to hang out with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-mintz-plasse-2/drunk-thought-instagram-shows-me-who-i-truly-want-to-hang-out-with/)

[Christopher Mintz Plasse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-mintz-plasse-2/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/816/christopher-mintz-plasse-2-279_drunk_drunk-thought-instagram-shows-me-who-i-t_564750.jpg)

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                        "text": "My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?",
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                        "text": "I'd sing for any friend's happiness. I don't have to get drunk to do so.",
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                        "text": "I was always like, \"I'm going to be the drunk judge who's like, 'Objection!' 'In chambers!' \"",
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                        "text": "I've kissed more bottles then girls, and honestly a hangover hurts less then a heartbreak.",
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                        "text": "After the crash happened, I was so humiliated and embarrassed. I thought of Mothers Against Drunk Drivers, that they must hate me.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Having drunk the dregs of Your Love, I am intoxicated beyond recognition. Now, I only pray for the nearness of You so I may advance in my annihilation.”",
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                        "text": "Neoliberalism has left Britain's boss classes drunk on triumphalism, paying themselves record salaries and bonuses while their workers are imprisoned by poverty and insecurity. It was never going to last.",
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                        "text": "There's the really angry drunk, who's just annoying to be around. I prefer the drunk who falls all over the place and is being completely inappropriate. Or the super-loud, happy drunk, which is evidentially what I am.",
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                        "text": "The Internet is like closing time at a blue-collar bar in Boston. Everyone’s drunk and ugly and they’re going to pass out in a few minutes.",
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                        "text": "The thing that I think a lot of guys need to know how to do is not take your mother's advice about honesty being the best policy. Listen to your cool, drunk uncle who tells you to lie. Those are the relationships that last.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Cut me own throat had drifted off and was doing business with those late night revelers who were too drunk to prevent optimism triumphing over experience”",
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                        "text": "I work for a few at home who are devoted. People who are up now. Either they have some sort of bladder problem or they're extremely drunk. This is my crowd, these are the people I hope to get.",
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                        "text": "I mean we [The Beatles] had to go through humiliation upon humiliation with the middle classes and showbiz and Lord Mayors and all that. They were so condescending and stupid. Everybody trying to use us. It was a special humiliation for me because I could never keep my mouth shut and I'd always have to be drunk or pilled to counteract this pressure. It was really hell .",
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                        "text": "The audience loves us! They buy out all our shows and really enjoy themselves but the press keeps right on bombin' us. We thought at first it was because our music was too Texan, maybe too different for East coast people to relate to. But anyone can relate to bein' drunk or missin' your woman.",
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                        "text": "It is difficult to feel sympathy for these people. It is difficult to regard some bawdy drunk and see them as sick and powerless. It is difficult to suffer the selfishness of a drug addict who will lie to you and steal from you and forgive them and offer them help. Can there be any other disease that renders its victims so unappealing? Would Great Ormond Street be so attractive a cause if its beds were riddled with obnoxious little criminals that had “brought it on themselves?",
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                            "name": "Russell Brand"
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                            "caption": "“It is difficult to feel sympathy for these people. It is difficult to regard some bawdy drunk and see them…” — Russell Brand",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I had drunk our great cultural Kool-Aid about regret, which is that lamenting things that occurred in the past is an absolute waste of time, that we should always look forward and not backward, and that one of the noblest and best things we can do is strive to live a life free of regrets.",
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                            "caption": "“I had drunk our great cultural Kool-Aid about regret, which is that lamenting things that occurred in the…” — Kathryn Schulz",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I'm fine right here.\" All patience, he bent down until his face was close to hers. \"What you are is hoping to get drunk enough so that you can take a few punches at someone without worrying about the consequences. With me, you don't have to get drunk, you don't have to worry. You can take all the punches you want.\" \"Why?\" \"Because you have something sad in your eyes and it gets to me.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The dramatically different manner in which we, as a nation, responded to the crisis presented by drunk driving and the crisis caused by the emergence of crack cocaine speaks volumes about who we value, and who we view as disposable.",
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                            "name": "Michelle Alexander"
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                        "text": "I listened to a clip someone had put up of me singing 'I Am What I Am' in the musical 'La Cage aux Folles.' I thought I was absolutely dreadful. It's like when you see photos of yourself at parties - at the time you thought you looked so cool and glamorous but you just look a bit drunk.",
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                        "text": "I remember having my father stand over me when I had driven over my own foot; one leg was out of the car and one leg was in the car. He looked at me and told me that I was a drunk and that he was ashamed to call me his son. That night, I stopped drinking and I never drank again; I was twenty four.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Wow really...some one was drunk",
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                        "text": "There is nothing left to do but get drunk.",
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