---
title: "Famous Drunk Quotations"
description: "Browse 2,282 Drunk quotes by 1,498 authors. Discover the best Drunk sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f4/john-maynard-keynes-1380_alcohol_i-wish-i-d-drunk-more-champagne-1523528_1523528.png"
---

> [I wish I'd drunk more champagne.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-maynard-keynes/i-wish-i-d-drunk-more-champagne/)

[John Maynard Keynes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-maynard-keynes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f4/john-maynard-keynes-1380_alcohol_i-wish-i-d-drunk-more-champagne-1523528_1523528.png)

> [Sometimes when you're drunk you can see better.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/damien-hirst/sometimes-when-you-re-drunk-you-can-see-better/)

[Damien Hirst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/damien-hirst/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/016/damien-hirst-3219_drunk_sometimes-when-you-re-drunk-you-can-see_1418907.jpg)

> [“Do not get drunk on murder.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/reki-kawahara/do-not-get-drunk-on-murder/)

[Reki Kawahara](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/reki-kawahara/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/89f/reki-kawahara-19860_quote_do-not-get-drunk-on-murder-2191995_2191995.jpg)

> [Being drunk makes walking places hard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/being-drunk-makes-walking-places-hard/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e88/anonymous-1_being-drunk_being-drunk-makes-walking-places-hard-37_376954.jpg)

> [I can't stand bitches that cry when they're drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-can-t-stand-bitches-that-cry-when-they-re-drunk/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ae6/anonymous-1_bitches_i-can-t-stand-bitches-that-cry-when-they_1875454.jpg)

> [You know am drunk on love, nothing can sober me up](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-know-am-drunk-on-love-nothing-can-sober-me-up/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/03f/anonymous-1_drunk_you-know-am-drunk-on-love-nothing-can-so_450314.jpg)

> [Friends don't let heads drive drunk!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/al-snow/friends-don-t-let-heads-drive-drunk/)

[Al Snow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/al-snow/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/028/al-snow-78418_drunk_friends-don-t-let-heads-drive-drunk-2662_2662108.png)

> [“A riverless silence made the air heavy.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-ramirez/a-riverless-silence-made-the-air-heavy/)

[Steven Ramirez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-ramirez/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1cb/steven-ramirez-13996_chaos_a-riverless-silence-made-the-air-heavy-2_2773094.jpg)

> [It takes a while to tell stories, I think it's because I was drunk for three years.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gerard-way/it-takes-a-while-to-tell-stories-i-think-it-s-because-i-was-drunk-for/)

[Gerard Way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gerard-way/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7f6/gerard-way-1061_drunk_it-takes-a-while-to-tell-stories-i-think_1764847.png)

> [Drunk Twitter because embarrassing myself in one zip code was never enough.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/drunk-twitter-because-embarrassing-myself-in-one-zip-code-was-never/)

[Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e1/nikhil-saluja-26_drunk_drunk-twitter-because-embarrassing-mysel_2282384.jpg)

> [Talking to a drunk person was like talking to an extremely happy, severely brain-damaged three-year-old.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/talking-to-a-drunk-person-was-like-talking-to-an-extremely-happy/)

[John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f44/john-green-12_brain_talking-to-a-drunk-person-was-like-talki_2021900.jpg)

> [I was this weird loner kid who got drunk by himself all the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gerard-way/i-was-this-weird-loner-kid-who-got-drunk-by-himself-all-the-time/)

[Gerard Way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gerard-way/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bda/gerard-way-1061_drunk_i-was-this-weird-loner-kid-who-got-drunk_2081324.png)

> [“Dean Walker, my brother. The man that's well on his way to earning the proud title of town drunk.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melyssa-winchester/dean-walker-my-brother-the-man-that-s-well-on-his-way-to-earning-the/)

[Melyssa Winchester](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melyssa-winchester/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/693/melyssa-winchester-10470_brother_dean-walker-my-brother-the-man-that-s-we_2552758.jpg)

> [“Let's go have lotsa drunk sex before it hits." "'Kay. Drunk sex for everybody!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-roberts/let-s-go-have-lotsa-drunk-sex-before-it-hits-kay-drunk-sex-for/)

[Nora Roberts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-roberts/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e77/nora-roberts-128_quote_let-s-go-have-lotsa-drunk-sex-before-it_2228495.jpg)

> [Be drunk with Love, for Love is all that exists. Where is intimacy found if not in the give and take of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rumi/be-drunk-with-love-for-love-is-all-that-exists-where-is-intimacy/)

[Rumi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rumi/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b0d/rumi-56_drunk_be-drunk-with-love-for-love-is-all-that_1298367.jpg)

> [If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/if-you-think-loading-the-dishwasher-means-getting-your-wife-drunk-you/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92b/jeff-foxworthy-939_dishwashers_if-you-think-loading-the-dishwasher-mean_2762585.jpg)

> [“Fuck me, babe, seriously? You knocked yourself out to make me wild. Why, Lanie? Why the fuck would you pull out all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-ashley/fuck-me-babe-seriously-you-knocked-yourself-out-to-make-me-wild-why/)

[Kristen Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-ashley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7af/kristen-ashley-74_drunk_fuck-me-babe-seriously-you-knocked-yours_2777852.png)

> [“Before they knew it, Ev and Biz were getting sloppy drunk with the former vice president of the United States.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-bilton/before-they-knew-it-ev-and-biz-were-getting-sloppy-drunk-with-the/)

[Nick Bilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-bilton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e7/nick-bilton-17564_drunk_before-they-knew-it-ev-and-biz-were-gett_2946239.jpg)

> [“Of course Wayne had probably been drunk at the time. That also tended to do strange things to a person's sense of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/of-course-wayne-had-probably-been-drunk-at-the-time-that-also-tended/)

[Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b0/brandon-sanderson-112_time_of-course-wayne-had-probably-been-drunk_1673307.jpg)

> [One thing I hope I'll never be is drunk with my own power. And anybody who says I am will never work…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-carrey/one-thing-i-hope-i-ll-never-be-is-drunk-with-my-own-power-and-anybody/)

[Jim Carrey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-carrey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/834/jim-carrey-1172_drunk_one-thing-i-hope-i-ll-never-be-is-drunk_2989439.jpg)

> [ It didn't make much difference what time of night it was, whenever \[my father would\] come in drunk, he'd say, "Get up… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-jones/it-didn-t-make-much-difference-what-time-of-night-it-was-whenever-my/)

[George Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/564/george-jones-8646_country_it-didn-t-make-much-difference-what-time_2856398.jpg)

> [No one appreciates a professional anymore. Everyone's a mystic. Which is why I take drunk Jim over acid Jim - the argument…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-bejar/no-one-appreciates-a-professional-anymore-everyone-s-a-mystic-which/)

[Dan Bejar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-bejar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b55/dan-bejar-15829_acid_no-one-appreciates-a-professional-anymor_110131.jpg)

> [I really don't like drunk women; I think it is such a bad look. I think it's very inappropriate and I don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gwyneth-paltrow/i-really-don-t-like-drunk-women-i-think-it-is-such-a-bad-look-i-think/)

[Gwyneth Paltrow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gwyneth-paltrow/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5dc/gwyneth-paltrow-1230_drunk_i-really-don-t-like-drunk-women-i-think_777138.jpg)

> [People in america: Ooh its gonna be christmas soon :) People in new orleans: Hey guys! Its christmas eve eve eve eve…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tffanyidontknoww/people-in-america-ooh-its-gonna-be-christmas-soon-people-in-new/)

[TffanyIdontknoww](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tffanyidontknoww/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cac/tffanyidontknoww-121678_christmas_people-in-america-ooh-its-gonna-be-chris_1868245.jpg)

> [For it was Saturday night, the best and bingiest glad-time of the week, one of the fifty-two holidays in the slow-turning Big…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-sillitoe/for-it-was-saturday-night-the-best-and-bingiest-glad-time-of-the-week/)

[Alan Sillitoe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-sillitoe/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/10a/alan-sillitoe-23194_arms_for-it-was-saturday-night-the-best-and-b_69578.jpg)

> [“A little work with an ordinary household screwdriver can provide a handy and non-confrontational way of limiting the beer consumption of your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-the-bfg/a-little-work-with-an-ordinary-household-screwdriver-can-provide-a/)

[Andre the BFG](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-the-bfg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c33/andre-the-bfg-67900_beer_a-little-work-with-an-ordinary-household_1028432.jpg)

> [When I did TV shows and movies, the studios did demographic research. They were shocked to find that my audience isn't just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pamela-anderson/when-i-did-tv-shows-and-movies-the-studios-did-demographic-research/)

[Pamela Anderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pamela-anderson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e46/pamela-anderson-2234_american-dream_when-i-did-tv-shows-and-movies-the-studi_2946273.jpg)

> [You heard from your friends That I'm doing okay And you're thinking, maybe you made a mistake And you want me to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kacey-musgraves/you-heard-from-your-friends-that-i-m-doing-okay-and-you-re-thinking/)

[Kacey Musgraves](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kacey-musgraves/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e03/kacey-musgraves-8839_failure_you-heard-from-your-friends-that-i-m-doi_1270428.jpg)

> [“Ben, there are more important things going on,” I answered. “DESIGNATED DRIVER!” “What?” “You’re my designated driver! Yes! You are so designated!…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/ben-there-are-more-important-things-going-on-i-answered-designated/)

[John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d7/john-green-12_ben_ben-there-are-more-important-things-goin_3080640.jpg)

> [pull a string, a puppet moves ... each man must realize that it can all disappear very quickly: the cat, the woman,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/pull-a-string-a-puppet-moves-each-man-must-realize-that-it-can-all/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/173/charles-bukowski-73_answers_pull-a-string-a-puppet-moves-each-man-mu_3013703.jpg)

> [All excess is ill, but drunkenness is of the worst sort. It spoils health, dismounts the mind, and unmans men. It reveals…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-penn/all-excess-is-ill-but-drunkenness-is-of-the-worst-sort-it-spoils-2/)

[William Penn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-penn/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a7e/william-penn-1104_alcohol_all-excess-is-ill-but-drunkenness-is-of_1717787.png)

> [A land not mine, still forever memorable, the waters of its ocean chill and fresh. Sand on the bottom whiter than chalk,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-akhmatova/a-land-not-mine-still-forever-memorable-the-waters-of-its-ocean-chill/)

[Anna Akhmatova](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-akhmatova/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d9/anna-akhmatova-3933_air_a-land-not-mine-still-forever-memorable_1052254.jpg)

> [So much to say. So not drunk enough to say it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yheeps/so-much-to-say-so-not-drunk-enough-to-say-it/)

[Yheeps](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yheeps/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3c5/yheeps-109962_drunk_so-much-to-say-so-not-drunk-enough-to-sa_2920854.jpg)

> [If you think I'm a drunk, you shoulda seen my old man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hank-williams/if-you-think-i-m-a-drunk-you-shoulda-seen-my-old-man/)

[Hank Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hank-williams/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a6/hank-williams-22382_drunk_if-you-think-i-m-a-drunk-you-shoulda-see_1853823.jpg)

> [“I was like a feral cat, drunk off of his essence.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gideon-rathbone/i-was-like-a-feral-cat-drunk-off-of-his-essence/)

[Gideon Rathbone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gideon-rathbone/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5e/gideon-rathbone-11644_quote_i-was-like-a-feral-cat-drunk-off-of-his_1286979.jpg)

> [Gratitude is the wine for the soul. Go on. Get drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rumi/gratitude-is-the-wine-for-the-soul-go-on-get-drunk/)

[Rumi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rumi/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/576/rumi-56_drunk_gratitude-is-the-wine-for-the-soul-go-on_1889056.jpg)

> [Me and mum drunk as hell hehe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tamika/me-and-mum-drunk-as-hell-hehe/)

[Tamika](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tamika/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a24/tamika-72750_drunk_me-and-mum-drunk-as-hell-hehe-521813_521813.jpg)

> [There's nothing left . . . but to get drunk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/franklin-pierce/there-s-nothing-left-but-to-get-drunk/)

[Franklin Pierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/franklin-pierce/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/585/franklin-pierce-24059_drunk_there-s-nothing-left-but-to-get-drunk-21_2103748.jpg)

> [When Ron gets drunk, hes single.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jersey-shore/when-ron-gets-drunk-hes-single/)

[Jersey Shore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jersey-shore/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb0/jersey-shore-8116_quote_when-ron-gets-drunk-hes-single-2229739_2229739.jpg)

> [“This place is Hell’s waiting room.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-ramirez/this-place-is-hell-s-waiting-room/)

[Steven Ramirez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-ramirez/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/281/steven-ramirez-13996_chaos_this-place-is-hell-s-waiting-room-285565_2855655.jpg)

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- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b018/author-moby-68765.jpg) Moby 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/drunk/moby/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b009/author-f-scott-fitzgerald-34497.jpg) F. Scott Fitzgerald 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/drunk/f-scott-fitzgerald/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b006/author-cassandra-clare-21529.jpg) Cassandra Clare 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/drunk/cassandra-clare/)

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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Friends don't let heads drive drunk!",
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                        "text": "“Dean Walker, my brother. The man that's well on his way to earning the proud title of town drunk.”",
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                        "text": "“Fuck me, babe, seriously? You knocked yourself out to make me wild. Why, Lanie? Why the fuck would you pull out all the fuckin' stops to make a man already drunk on you drunker?”",
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                        "text": "One thing I hope I'll never be is drunk with my own power. And anybody who says I am will never work in this town again.",
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                        "text": "It didn't make much difference what time of night it was, whenever [my father would] come in drunk, he'd say, \"Get up and sing me some songs.\" We didn't want to sing but we sang.",
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                        "text": "No one appreciates a professional anymore. Everyone's a mystic. Which is why I take drunk Jim over acid Jim - the argument all roads eventually lead to.",
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                        "text": "I really don't like drunk women; I think it is such a bad look. I think it's very inappropriate and I don't like it. I don't really have drunk friends.",
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                        "text": "People in america: Ooh its gonna be christmas soon :) People in new orleans: Hey guys! Its christmas eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve! Lets get drunk",
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                        "text": "For it was Saturday night, the best and bingiest glad-time of the week, one of the fifty-two holidays in the slow-turning Big Wheel of the year, a violent preamble to a prostrate Sabbath. Piled up passions were exploded on Saturday night, and the effect of a week's monotonous graft in the factory was swilled out of your system in a burst of goodwill. You followed the motto of 'be drunk and be happy,' kept your crafty arms around female waists, and felt the beer going beneficially down into the elastic capacity of your guts.",
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                        "text": "“A little work with an ordinary household screwdriver can provide a handy and non-confrontational way of limiting the beer consumption of your partner. Simply remount the door on the other side after his 10th can of lager and he won't be able to figure out how to open it before the commercial break finishes.”",
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                        "text": "When I did TV shows and movies, the studios did demographic research. They were shocked to find that my audience isn't just men who are too drunk to turn off the TV after football. It's women, too. I don't know exactly why, other than that I've tried to remain true to myself for all these years. I have gone through a lot, and I've been open about it. Maybe they look at me and can see how you can grow up, have children, continue to be sexy, get married and divorced and, though you grew up poor, live the American dream. I'm very blessed. I'm happy for it all.",
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                        "text": "You heard from your friends That I'm doing okay And you're thinking, maybe you made a mistake And you want me to know But I don't wanna know How you're feeling So keep it to yourself If you think that you still love me Put it on a shelf If you're looking for someone Make it someone else When you're drunk And it's late And you're missing me like hell Keep it to yourself Keep it to yourself You see me out And I'm standing alone Well it don't mean that I'm gonna need a ride home If you walk up to me Like it ain't what it is Know that it ain't gonna end with a kiss So keep it to yourself If you think that you still love me Put it on a shelf If you're looking for someone Make it someone else When you're drunk And it's late And you're missing me like hell Keep it to yourself",
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                        "text": "“Ben, there are more important things going on,” I answered. “DESIGNATED DRIVER!” “What?” “You’re my designated driver! Yes! You are so designated! I love that you answered! That’s so awesome! I have to be home by six! And I designate you to get me there! YESSSSSSS!” “Can’t you just spend the night there?” I asked. “NOOOO! Booooo. Booo on Quentin. Hey, everybody! Boooo Quentin!” And then I was booed. “Everybody’s drunk. Ben drunk. Lacey drunk. Radar drunk. Nobody drive. Home by six. Promised Mom. Boo, Sleepy Quentin! Yay, Designated Driver! YESSSS!”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "pull a string, a puppet moves ... each man must realize that it can all disappear very quickly: the cat, the woman, the job, the front tire, the bed, the walls, the room; all our necessities including love, rest on foundations of sand -- and any given cause, no matter how unrelated: the death of a boy in Hong Kong or a blizzard in Omaha ... can serve as your undoing. all your chinaware crashing to the kitchen floor, your girl will enter and you'll be standing, drunk, in the center of it and she'll ask: my god, what's the matter? and you'll answer: I don't know, I don't know ...",
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                        "text": "All excess is ill, but drunkenness is of the worst sort. It spoils health, dismounts the mind, and unmans men. It reveals secrets, is quarrelsome, lascivious, impudent, dangerous and mad. In fine, he that is drunk is not a man: because he is so long void of Reason, that distinguishes a Man from a Beast.",
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                        "text": "A land not mine, still forever memorable, the waters of its ocean chill and fresh. Sand on the bottom whiter than chalk, and the air drunk, like wine, late sun lays bare the rosy limbs of the pinetrees. Sunset in the ethereal waves: I cannot tell if the day is ending, or the world, or if the secret of secrets is inside me again.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "So much to say. So not drunk enough to say it.",
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