---
title: "2 Dork Quotes By Bill Engvall"
description: "2 Dork quotes by Bill Engvall. Plus more from Bill Engvall and more Dork sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aac/bill-engvall-8106_dork_its-a-dork-fish-171185_171185.jpg"
---

> [“its a dork fish”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/its-a-dork-fish/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aac/bill-engvall-8106_dork_its-a-dork-fish-171185_171185.jpg)

> [I was a dork hunter. That's hard to do. I fell out of a tree.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-was-a-dork-hunter-that-s-hard-to-do-i-fell-out-of-a-tree/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0b8/bill-engvall-8106_dork_i-was-a-dork-hunter-that-s-hard-to-do-i_806537.jpg)

## More by Bill Engvall

> [I am out in public and using the phone. I am in a phone booth, got the phone in my hand and a man…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-am-out-in-public-and-using-the-phone-i-am-in-a-phone-booth-got-the/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [I go 'what is it?' And she goes 'we're going on a shark feeding frenzy!' Okay, wait... we're in a boat looking down in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-go-what-is-it-and-she-goes-we-re-going-on-a-shark-feeding-frenzy/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [Ketchup is great on hamburgers, but if some gets on your shirt, that does not make your shirt also a hamburger.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/ketchup-is-great-on-hamburgers-but-if-some-gets-on-your-shirt-that/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [Ma'am, when I got up this morning, I didn't want to be jackass. You just pushed my jackass button.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/ma-am-when-i-got-up-this-morning-i-didn-t-want-to-be-jackass-you-just/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [Went to the grocery store, got everything on my list and went up to the checkout. I put a bag of pet food for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/went-to-the-grocery-store-got-everything-on-my-list-and-went-up-to/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [“its a dork fish”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/its-a-dork-fish/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-was-watching-one-of-those-animal-shows-on-the-discovery-channel/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [I've about decided if it wasn't for the sex, I could be gay. Hell, then you're just hangin' out with your buddies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-ve-about-decided-if-it-wasn-t-for-the-sex-i-could-be-gay-hell-then/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/he-knows-all-the-golf-lingo-you-know-you-hit-your-ball-he-s-like/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [God was havin' himself a good day when he made boobs. He must've stepped back from Eve and said, Yes ma'am! Those'll work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/god-was-havin-himself-a-good-day-when-he-made-boobs-he-must-ve/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [Remember: Greed is a bad color on a person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/remember-greed-is-a-bad-color-on-a-person/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there's a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer strapped to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-was-traveling-down-the-road-with-a-buddy-and-there-s-a-guy-driving/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/it-s-like-before-my-wife-and-i-moved-our-house-was-full-of-boxes-and/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [I was always the Class Clown and over time became very good at it. I started doing comedy on stage at the Dallas Comedy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-was-always-the-class-clown-and-over-time-became-very-good-at-it-i/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

> [I've never read a kayak manual, but I'm pretty sure page one says 'Use in water.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-engvall/i-ve-never-read-a-kayak-manual-but-i-m-pretty-sure-page-one-says-use/)

[Bill Engvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-engvall/)

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