--- title: "2 Disneyland Quotes By Tim Dorsey" description: "2 Disneyland quotes by Tim Dorsey. Plus more from Tim Dorsey and more Disneyland sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e87/tim-dorsey-12537_air-conditioner_there-was-no-disney-world-then-just-rows_789047.jpg" --- > [“There was no Disney World then, just rows of orange trees. Millions of them. Stretching for miles And somewhere near the middle was the Citrus Tower, which the tourists climbed to see even more orange trees. Every month an eighty-year-old…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/there-was-no-disney-world-then-just-rows-of-orange-trees-millions-of/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e87/tim-dorsey-12537_air-conditioner_there-was-no-disney-world-then-just-rows_789047.jpg) > [“There was no Disney World then, just rows of orange trees. Millions of them. Stretching for miles. And somewhere near the middle was the Citrus Tower, which the tourists climbed to see even more orange trees. Every month an eighty-year-old…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/there-was-no-disney-world-then-just-rows-of-orange-trees-millions-of-2/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f0a/tim-dorsey-12537_disney_there-was-no-disney-world-then-just-rows_952184.png) ## Other authors on Disneyland - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b024/author-walt-disney-94295.jpg) Walt Disney 41 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disneyland/walt-disney/) - [Leslie Le Mon 14 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disneyland/leslie-le-mon/) ## More by Tim Dorsey > [“Your mom's not that bad," said Jim. "Are you trying to make me mad?" "Okay she is." "I knew it. You've never liked her."…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/your-mom-s-not-that-bad-said-jim-are-you-trying-to-make-me-mad-okay/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“The last door on the second story was the exception. Fresh gold letters: MAHONEY & ASSOCIATES, PRIVATE INVESTIGATORS. Mahoney sat inside. The only associate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/the-last-door-on-the-second-story-was-the-exception-fresh-gold/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [Hang on to your dreams with everything you got. Because the best life is when your dreams come true. The second-best is when they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/hang-on-to-your-dreams-with-everything-you-got-because-the-best-life/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [The whole family is a bunch of dangerous freaks...Most are ex-cons or junkies or deranged from inbreeding. Five have died violently, three are back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/the-whole-family-is-a-bunch-of-dangerous-freaks-most-are-ex-cons-or/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [But instead they tell you they'll come to fix your cable between noon and five, and I say, okay, I'll pay my next bill…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/but-instead-they-tell-you-they-ll-come-to-fix-your-cable-between-noon/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“I can buy a shotgun any time of day without the slightest background check, but if I need something for my sniffles, it’s six…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/i-can-buy-a-shotgun-any-time-of-day-without-the-slightest-background/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“Do you think heaven's like that? Could be worse, said Serge. You know all those pushy people who keep telling us we're not going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/do-you-think-heaven-s-like-that-could-be-worse-said-serge-you-know/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“Yes, give us books about the psychotic behavior and peripheral weirdness we see all around every day -- and we will laugh in its…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/yes-give-us-books-about-the-psychotic-behavior-and-peripheral/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“The television was on Florida Cable News. A gray-haired man behind the anchor desk reported near tragedy at a state motor vehicle office, where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/the-television-was-on-florida-cable-news-a-gray-haired-man-behind-the/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“I realize the congressman isn't in. I want you to deliver this message to him personally: Tell him to shut his goddamn mouth!... I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/i-realize-the-congressman-isn-t-in-i-want-you-to-deliver-this-message/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [A prosthetic leg with a Willie Nelson bumper sticker washed ashore on the beach, which meant it was Florida. Then it got weird.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/a-prosthetic-leg-with-a-willie-nelson-bumper-sticker-washed-ashore-on/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“I smell panic," said Serge. "These are different animals now. They're starting to winnow out the weak at the fringe of the herd. We…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/i-smell-panic-said-serge-these-are-different-animals-now-they-re/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“Serge bowed his own head and closed his eyes "God, please protect us from your followers. Amen”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/serge-bowed-his-own-head-and-closed-his-eyes-god-please-protect-us/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“Minimum was valuable to McJagger, first, because he’d sold 42 percent of all the trailers in Vista Isles, getting an average of sixty thousand…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/minimum-was-valuable-to-mcjagger-first-because-he-d-sold-42-percent/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) > [“There was no Disney World then, just rows of orange trees. Millions of them. Stretching for miles And somewhere near the middle was the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-dorsey/there-was-no-disney-world-then-just-rows-of-orange-trees-millions-of/) [Tim Dorsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-dorsey/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disneyland/tim-dorsey/#itemlist", "name": "2 Disneyland Quotes By Tim Dorsey", "numberOfItems": 2, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“There was no Disney World then, just rows of orange trees. Millions of them. Stretching for miles And somewhere near the middle was the Citrus Tower, which the tourists climbed to see even more orange trees. Every month an eighty-year-old couple became lost in the groves, driving up and down identical rows for days until they were spotted by helicopter or another tourist on top of the Citrus Tower. They had lived on nothing but oranges and come out of the trees drilled on vitamin C and checked into the honeymoon suite at the nearest bed-and-breakfast. \"The Miami Seaquarium put in a monorail and rockets started going off at Cape Canaveral, making us feel like we were on the frontier of the future. Disney bought up everything north of Lake Okeechobee, preparing to shove the future down our throats sideways. \"Things evolved rapidly! Missile silos in Cuba. Bales on the beach. Alligators are almost extinct and then they aren't. Juntas hanging shingles in Boca Raton. Richard Nixon and Bebe Rebozo skinny-dipping off Key Biscayne. We atone for atrocities against the INdians by playing Bingo. Shark fetuses in formaldehyde jars, roadside gecko farms, tourists waddling around waffle houses like flocks of flightless birds. And before we know it, we have The New Florida, underplanned, overbuilt and ripe for a killer hurricane that'll knock that giant geodesic dome at Epcot down the trunpike like a golf ball, a solid one-wood by Buckminster Fuller. \"I am the native and this is my home. Faded pastels, and Spanish tiles constantly slipping off roofs, shattering on the sidewalk. Dogs with mange and skateboard punks with mange roaming through yards, knocking over garbage cans. Lunatics wandering the streets at night, talking about spaceships. Bail bondsmen wake me up at three A.M. looking for the last tenant. Next door, a mail-order bride is clubbed by a smelly ma in a mechanic's shirt. Cats violently mate under my windows and rats break-dance in the drop ceiling. And I'm lying in bed with a broken air conditioner, sweating and sipping lemonade through a straw. And I'm thinking, geez, this used to be a great state. \"You wanna come to Florida? You get a discount on theme-park tickets and find out you just bough a time share. Or maybe you end up at Cape Canaveral, sitting in a field for a week as a space shuttle launch is canceled six times. And suddenly vacation is over, you have to catch a plane, and you see the shuttle take off on TV at the airport. 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