---
title: "475 Dick Quotes by 312 authors"
description: "Browse 475 Dick quotes by 312 authors. Discover the best Dick sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8bc/henry-ward-beecher-175_bitch_suck-my-dick-you-bitch-1896382_1896382.png"
---

> [Suck my dick…you bitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-ward-beecher/suck-my-dick-you-bitch/)

[Henry Ward Beecher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-ward-beecher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8bc/henry-ward-beecher-175_bitch_suck-my-dick-you-bitch-1896382_1896382.png)

> [Big dick rider fffffff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bbbbbbbbb/big-dick-rider-fffffff/)

[Bbbbbbbbb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bbbbbbbbb/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a93/bbbbbbbbb-222402_big-dick_big-dick-rider-fffffff-64339_64339.jpg)

> [Bitch suck dick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/basedgodkam/bitch-suck-dick/)

[BasedGodKam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/basedgodkam/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f8/basedgodkam-17840_bitch_bitch-suck-dick-2428749_2428749.jpg)

> [Suck my dick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-kitching/suck-my-dick/)

[Audrey Kitching](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-kitching/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f4/audrey-kitching-18697_quote_suck-my-dick-1388019_1388019.jpg)

> [“Be true to your Dick.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vladimir-nabokov/be-true-to-your-dick/)

[Vladimir Nabokov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vladimir-nabokov/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/242/vladimir-nabokov-198_dick_be-true-to-your-dick-48856_48856.jpg)

> [Talor suck my dick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wiz-khalifa/talor-suck-my-dick/)

[Wiz Khalifa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wiz-khalifa/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d91/wiz-khalifa-192_quote_talor-suck-my-dick-1567660_1567660.jpg)

> [You're a dick.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wolverine/you-re-a-dick/)

[Wolverine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wolverine/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fe1/wolverine-20697_dick_you-re-a-dick-339422_339422.jpg)

> [I got a big dick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/webbie/i-got-a-big-dick/)

[Webbie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/webbie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/889/webbie-3763_big-dick_i-got-a-big-dick-1498083_1498083.jpg)

> [Put your dick on the counter so I can suck it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/put-your-dick-on-the-counter-so-i-can-suck-it/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9fe/anonymous-1_counter_put-your-dick-on-the-counter-so-i-can-su_3171323.jpg)

> [She crazy about that dick, Lorena Bobbitt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lil-wayne/she-crazy-about-that-dick-lorena-bobbitt/)

[Lil Wayne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lil-wayne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/100/lil-wayne-62_crazy_she-crazy-about-that-dick-lorena-bobbitt_3054903.jpg)

> [Hoes be on my dick like my name was ervin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gucci-mane/hoes-be-on-my-dick-like-my-name-was-ervin/)

[Gucci Mane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gucci-mane/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8e/gucci-mane-3558_dick_hoes-be-on-my-dick-like-my-name-was-ervi_644939.png)

> [Dick in ass is as good as it gets](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hunter-davis/dick-in-ass-is-as-good-as-it-gets/)

[Hunter Davis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hunter-davis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/de8/hunter-davis-243161_quote_dick-in-ass-is-as-good-as-it-gets-958369_958369.jpg)

> [My name ain't dick so keep it out ya mouth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/young-jeezy/my-name-ain-t-dick-so-keep-it-out-ya-mouth/)

[Young Jeezy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/young-jeezy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e7e/young-jeezy-1485_dick_my-name-ain-t-dick-so-keep-it-out-ya-mou_795872.png)

> [Taylor Gang or you're a dick head](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taylor-gang/taylor-gang-or-you-re-a-dick-head/)

[Taylor Gang](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/taylor-gang/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b9a/taylor-gang-11012_taylor-gang_taylor-gang-or-you-re-a-dick-head-155215_1552152.jpg)

> [It ain't ya spit game, It's your DICK game.! :)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicki-minaj/it-ain-t-ya-spit-game-it-s-your-dick-game/)

[Nicki Minaj](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicki-minaj/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b5/nicki-minaj-202_dick_it-ain-t-ya-spit-game-it-s-your-dick-gam_930986.png)

> [You Suck Dick , I Succeed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lil-wayne/you-suck-dick-i-succeed/)

[Lil Wayne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lil-wayne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e0b/lil-wayne-62_dick_you-suck-dick-i-succeed-3041238_3041238.jpg)

> [When we go to commercial, I'll look at Dick like, 'Do you still want me as your wingman?'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryan-seacrest/when-we-go-to-commercial-i-ll-look-at-dick-like-do-you-still-want-me/)

[Ryan Seacrest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryan-seacrest/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d19/ryan-seacrest-9514_dick_when-we-go-to-commercial-i-ll-look-at-di_272163.jpg)

> [If you can take a dick in the ass, you can DAMN sure take a joke!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralphie-may/if-you-can-take-a-dick-in-the-ass-you-can-damn-sure-take-a-joke/)

[Ralphie May](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralphie-may/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/57e/ralphie-may-3594_dick_if-you-can-take-a-dick-in-the-ass-you-ca_1651906.png)

> [You still on my dick? You full of shit and I'm feelin myself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mac-dre/you-still-on-my-dick-you-full-of-shit-and-i-m-feelin-myself/)

[Mac Dre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mac-dre/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a79/mac-dre-8909_dick_you-still-on-my-dick-you-full-of-shit-an_326310.jpg)

> [MuH NaMe aInT DiCk sO KeEp iT OuT ChA MoUtH!!!!!!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heather-g/muh-name-aint-dick-so-keep-it-out-cha-mouth/)

[HEATHER G](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heather-g/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b87/heather-g-77506_dick_muh-name-aint-dick-so-keep-it-out-cha-mo_2954296.jpg)

> [“because dick will never be as powerful as pussy.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/g-l-lambert/because-dick-will-never-be-as-powerful-as-pussy/)

[G.L. Lambert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/g-l-lambert/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ced/g-l-lambert-89914_quote_because-dick-will-never-be-as-powerful-a_1010876.jpg)

> [Not trying to be rude, but your dick gets less action then a white crayon.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cuts-and-scars/not-trying-to-be-rude-but-your-dick-gets-less-action-then-a-white/)

[Cuts And Scars](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cuts-and-scars/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f38/cuts-and-scars-1245_crayons_not-trying-to-be-rude-but-your-dick-gets_2142847.jpg)

> [I love it when she talk crazy, that dick make her walk crazy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lil-wayne/i-love-it-when-she-talk-crazy-that-dick-make-her-walk-crazy/)

[Lil Wayne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lil-wayne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a5/lil-wayne-62_quote_i-love-it-when-she-talk-crazy-that-dick_1646421.jpg)

> [Theres moree dick in your personality than there is in your pants.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katie-orme/theres-moree-dick-in-your-personality-than-there-is-in-your-pants/)

[Katie Orme](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katie-orme/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f5/katie-orme-252609_dick_theres-moree-dick-in-your-personality-th_359370.jpg)

> [“I'm serious. They'll call me a pussy." "And if you help them, I'll call you a dick. So no matter what you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kody-keplinger/i-m-serious-they-ll-call-me-a-pussy-and-if-you-help-them-i-ll-call/)

[Kody Keplinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kody-keplinger/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62d/kody-keplinger-3834_dick_i-m-serious-they-ll-call-me-a-pussy-and_3051312.jpg)

> [“If your dick has more frequent flyer miles than you do, you’re not a lover—you’re a disease with a passport.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brad-deep/if-your-dick-has-more-frequent-flyer-miles-than-you-do-you-re-not-a/)

[Brad Deep](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brad-deep/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23b/brad-deep-69276_comedy_if-your-dick-has-more-frequent-flyer-mil_1198980.jpg)

> [When it comes to my wife and blowjobs, my dicks in the Witness Protection Program. 'Dick? I dont know nobody named Dick.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-schimmel/when-it-comes-to-my-wife-and-blowjobs-my-dicks-in-the-witness/)

[Robert Schimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-schimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43b/robert-schimmel-22245_dick_when-it-comes-to-my-wife-and-blowjobs-my_2786658.jpg)

> [“So, don’t matter tomorrow morning you still think I’m a dick. ’Cause now, even though you’re drunk, I’m gonna take you inside…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-ashley/so-don-t-matter-tomorrow-morning-you-still-think-i-m-a-dick-cause-now/)

[Kristen Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-ashley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/17a/kristen-ashley-74_dick_so-don-t-matter-tomorrow-morning-you-sti_647642.png)

> [“I thought you seemed a lot nicer lately. Dick will do that. Thank god, too, because you’re usually one mood swing away…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ebony-brewer/i-thought-you-seemed-a-lot-nicer-lately-dick-will-do-that-thank-god/)

[Ebony Brewer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ebony-brewer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d38/ebony-brewer-234432_art-class_i-thought-you-seemed-a-lot-nicer-lately_55557.jpg)

> [A girl said that I'm lesbian I said sorry what ... she said I like pussies more than dicks.. same here bitch ... ;)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/manish-bhagtani/a-girl-said-that-i-m-lesbian-i-said-sorry-what-she-said-i-like/)

[Manish Bhagtani](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/manish-bhagtani/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e30/manish-bhagtani-31504_bitch_a-girl-said-that-i-m-lesbian-i-said-sorr_2095601.jpg)

> [“His cock was beautiful. He had low hanging balls. His dick, which was long like the rest of him, was standing proud.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-cox/his-cock-was-beautiful-he-had-low-hanging-balls-his-dick-which-was/)

[James Cox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-cox/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/37f/james-cox-1518_cock_his-cock-was-beautiful-he-had-low-hangin_39674.jpg)

> [The only way to let somebody know they are being a dick, is by acting like a bigger dick. This explains my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/the-only-way-to-let-somebody-know-they-are-being-a-dick-is-by-acting/)

[Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/44e/nikhil-saluja-26_life_the-only-way-to-let-somebody-know-they-a_1135216.jpg)

> [“For a guy, nothing is sexier than a girl who craves his little guy and can’t keep her hands off of it……](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roberto-hogue/for-a-guy-nothing-is-sexier-than-a-girl-who-craves-his-little-guy-and/)

[Roberto Hogue](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roberto-hogue/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b7a/roberto-hogue-22733_desire_for-a-guy-nothing-is-sexier-than-a-girl_1222429.jpg)

> [“Desandra shrugged her shoulders. "Hey, Kate? Have you thought of walking up to Hugh and telling him that he's got the biggest…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/desandra-shrugged-her-shoulders-hey-kate-have-you-thought-of-walking/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/382/ilona-andrews-150_ascanio_desandra-shrugged-her-shoulders-hey-kate_1269271.png)

> [“She tried to hurt Fitz!" He turned to Gabriel and Dick. "That'll get her mad. " Gabriel rolled his eyes. "She's been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/molly-harper/she-tried-to-hurt-fitz-he-turned-to-gabriel-and-dick-that-ll-get-her/)

[Molly Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/molly-harper/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08a/molly-harper-2053_big-deal_she-tried-to-hurt-fitz-he-turned-to-gabr_2242717.jpg)

> [“He has one dick, and it can be inside one woman at a time. Nothing you say will stop me getting peeled…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-d-reiss/he-has-one-dick-and-it-can-be-inside-one-woman-at-a-time-nothing-you/)

[C.D. Reiss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-d-reiss/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfd/c-d-reiss-1966_time_he-has-one-dick-and-it-can-be-inside-one_1209112.jpg)

> [“There used to be a time when it took nothing but a knowing smile and a sultry voice to get him so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-l-armentrout/there-used-to-be-a-time-when-it-took-nothing-but-a-knowing-smile-and/)

[Jennifer L. Armentrout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-l-armentrout/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e7/jennifer-l-armentrout-96_time_there-used-to-be-a-time-when-it-took-not_1274162.jpg)

> [“In the kitchen Anna was quietly plotting to get rid of him. A brief talk, then she would contact the publisher and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-swift/in-the-kitchen-anna-was-quietly-plotting-to-get-rid-of-him-a-brief/)

[Steven Swift](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-swift/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/090/steven-swift-194382_interesting-life_in-the-kitchen-anna-was-quietly-plotting_1083379.jpg)

> [“When was the last time your dick came up with a good plan? Oh, it's got some great ideas, but when was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-burr/when-was-the-last-time-your-dick-came-up-with-a-good-plan-oh-it-s-got/)

[Bill Burr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-burr/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f7f/bill-burr-1900_dick_when-was-the-last-time-your-dick-came-up_1810690.png)

> [“My dick didn't seem to be aware that she was there. She kept asking me what was wrong, and I was so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikki-sixx/my-dick-didn-t-seem-to-be-aware-that-she-was-there-she-kept-asking-me/)

[Nikki Sixx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikki-sixx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/174/nikki-sixx-1436_dick_my-dick-didn-t-seem-to-be-aware-that-she_1870034.png)

## Top authors on Dick

- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b016/author-lil-b-60242.jpg) Lil B 11 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dick/lil-b/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b018/author-nikhil-saluja-71464.jpg) Nikhil Saluja 10 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dick/nikhil-saluja/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b018/author-molly-harper-68926.jpg) Molly Harper 10 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dick/molly-harper/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b016/author-lil-wayne-60291.jpg) Lil Wayne 10 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dick/lil-wayne/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-m-f-moonzajer-244.jpg) M.F. Moonzajer 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dick/m-f-moonzajer/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b015/author-kristen-ashley-57844.jpg) Kristen Ashley 7 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dick/kristen-ashley/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b015/author-kevin-hart-56813.jpg) Kevin Hart 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dick/kevin-hart/)
- [Nicki Minaj 5 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dick/nicki-minaj/)
- [Jarod Kintz 5 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dick/jarod-kintz/)

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                        "text": "Hoes be on my dick like my name was ervin",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "My name ain't dick so keep it out ya mouth.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Taylor Gang or you're a dick head",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "It ain't ya spit game, It's your DICK game.! :)",
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                        "text": "You Suck Dick , I Succeed",
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                        "text": "When we go to commercial, I'll look at Dick like, 'Do you still want me as your wingman?'",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If you can take a dick in the ass, you can DAMN sure take a joke!",
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                        "text": "You still on my dick? You full of shit and I'm feelin myself.",
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                        "text": "MuH NaMe aInT DiCk sO KeEp iT OuT ChA MoUtH!!!!!!",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "HEATHER G"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“because dick will never be as powerful as pussy.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Not trying to be rude, but your dick gets less action then a white crayon.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Cuts And Scars"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I love it when she talk crazy, that dick make her walk crazy.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Lil Wayne"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Theres moree dick in your personality than there is in your pants.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Katie Orme"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I'm serious. They'll call me a pussy.\" \"And if you help them, I'll call you a dick. So no matter what you do, you're going to be some form of genitalia.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
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                            "caption": "“I'm serious. They'll call me a pussy.\" \"And if you help them, I'll call you a dick. So no matter what you…” — Kody Keplinger",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“If your dick has more frequent flyer miles than you do, you’re not a lover—you’re a disease with a passport.”",
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                            "caption": "“If your dick has more frequent flyer miles than you do, you’re not a lover—you’re a disease with a passport.” — Brad Deep",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "When it comes to my wife and blowjobs, my dicks in the Witness Protection Program. 'Dick? I dont know nobody named Dick.'",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Robert Schimmel"
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                            "caption": "“When it comes to my wife and blowjobs, my dicks in the Witness Protection Program. 'Dick? I dont know nobody…” — Robert Schimmel",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“So, don’t matter tomorrow morning you still think I’m a dick. ’Cause now, even though you’re drunk, I’m gonna take you inside and fuck you ’til you ache.”",
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                            "caption": "“So, don’t matter tomorrow morning you still think I’m a dick. ’Cause now, even though you’re drunk, I’m…” — Kristen Ashley",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I thought you seemed a lot nicer lately. Dick will do that. Thank god, too, because you’re usually one mood swing away from snapping my head off.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Ebony Brewer"
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                            "caption": "“I thought you seemed a lot nicer lately. Dick will do that. Thank god, too, because you’re usually one mood…” — Ebony Brewer",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "A girl said that I'm lesbian I said sorry what ... she said I like pussies more than dicks.. same here bitch ... ;)",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Manish Bhagtani"
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                            "caption": "“A girl said that I'm lesbian I said sorry what ... she said I like pussies more than dicks.. same here bitch…” — Manish Bhagtani",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“His cock was beautiful. He had low hanging balls. His dick, which was long like the rest of him, was standing proud. The skin was almost pale with a blushed head, no foreskin.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "James Cox"
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                            "caption": "“His cock was beautiful. He had low hanging balls. His dick, which was long like the rest of him, was…” — James Cox",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The only way to let somebody know they are being a dick, is by acting like a bigger dick. This explains my life.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Nikhil Saluja"
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                            "caption": "“The only way to let somebody know they are being a dick, is by acting like a bigger dick. This explains my…” — Nikhil Saluja",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“For a guy, nothing is sexier than a girl who craves his little guy and can’t keep her hands off of it… because this is exactly the way he feels about your ladyparts whether he’s groping them like a savage or quietly watching TV next to you.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Roberto Hogue"
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                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“For a guy, nothing is sexier than a girl who craves his little guy and can’t keep her hands off of it……” — Roberto Hogue",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Desandra shrugged her shoulders. \"Hey, Kate? Have you thought of walking up to Hugh and telling him that he's got the biggest dick ever?\" She spread her arms to the size of a baseball bat. \"No, you think it would work?\" I asked. \"It's worth a try. May be he'll be so happy you noticed his pork sword, he'll forget all about trying to kill us.\" Pork sword. Kill me now. \"I'll think about it.\" Ascanio began patting his clothes. \"What?\" Derek growled. \"Looking for something to take notes with.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Ilona Andrews"
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                            "caption": "“Desandra shrugged her shoulders. \"Hey, Kate? Have you thought of walking up to Hugh and telling him that…” — Ilona Andrews",
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                        "text": "“She tried to hurt Fitz!\" He turned to Gabriel and Dick. \"That'll get her mad. \" Gabriel rolled his eyes. \"She's been framed for murder twice over, shot in the back, her arms were set on fire, and her parents are being held hostage. You think tampered dog water is what's going to make her angry?\" \"You tried to hurt my dog!\" I wheezed as I lurched toward a grinning Missy. \"Oh, big deal, \" Missy huffed. \"It's the ugliest dog I've ever seen. \" \"You tried to hurt my dog, \" I said again. \"I would have been doing you a favor. \" Missy sneered. \"Nobody. Screws. With. My. Dog. \" I growled, punctuating each word with a punch to Missy's face. I gave an upper cut to the chin that sent her flying back into a pile on the ground. Zeb grinned at Dick and Gabriel. \"Told you. ”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Molly Harper"
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                            "caption": "“She tried to hurt Fitz!\" He turned to Gabriel and Dick. \"That'll get her mad. \" Gabriel rolled his eyes…” — Molly Harper",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“He has one dick, and it can be inside one woman at a time. Nothing you say will stop me getting peeled off the ceiling every time he puts that astonishing cock in me. If you miss it badly, if you imagine it when your new man’s on top of you, if you think about it when you’re alone with your hands under the sheets, I understand completely. He’s a monster fuck, Mrs. Drazen, and you’re going to have to go through me to get him back.”",
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                        "text": "“There used to be a time when it took nothing but a knowing smile and a sultry voice to get him so hard he could drill his dick into a wall. And it used to take even less for him to fuck and lose himself for a little while. Now? Not so much.”",
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                        "text": "“In the kitchen Anna was quietly plotting to get rid of him. A brief talk, then she would contact the publisher and ask for someone more suitable. When she bore her best china cautiously back into the room she found him on his feet, examining things. 'Here we are,' she said, speaking drily, trying to call him back to his place. 'Who's this guy?' Dick asked, staring at a happy, rounded man having his photograph taken on a boat with a huge fish at his feet. 'That is my Uncle Max,' Anna said impatiently. 'Here is your coffee.' 'Great. I need a cup. Strong and black.' Dick was feeling his reckless self coming out: so what is she thinks I'm a scruff? Push some buttons and see what the old cow's made of. Anna regretted that he must place his stained body upon her newly-cleaned velvet. She was grateful for having no sense of smell. 'Tell me what you have written, Mr Michaels?' He noticed the challenge. 'All sorts of rubbish,' he said unhelpfully, wishing to add the word 'rubbish', but showing admirable restraint. 'I write anything that's required.' As he spoke he noticed an unrealised pride in his humble craft. 'I turn things into readable English so people will be interested. You see, not everyone who has had an interesting life knows how to make it sound good; that's my job.' He could see her expression soften. Something simian amid the fine features? 'I make a great effort not to change the original intention, of course...' 'You call that a ghost, I think?' 'Yeah. The ghost brings people's lives to life.”",
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                        "text": "“When was the last time your dick came up with a good plan? Oh, it's got some great ideas, but when was the last time it came up with a good plan beyond \"Do it\"? That's your dick's entire plan: \" Do it. \" Forget preparation, forget looking for possible pitfalls, forget everything. If your dick were a person, it would be on America's Dumbest Criminals .”",
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                        "text": "“My dick didn't seem to be aware that she was there. She kept asking me what was wrong, and I was so out of it that I thought she meant what was wrong with the world, so I started talking about global poverty and shit. I'm not surprised she left. I suspect she won't be coming back.”",
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