---
title: "177 Diapers Quotes by 161 authors"
description: "Browse 177 Diapers quotes by 161 authors. Discover the best Diapers sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff0/amy-poehler-1084_comedy_when-in-doubt-make-funny-faces-331457_331457.jpg"
---

> [When in doubt, make funny faces.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-poehler/when-in-doubt-make-funny-faces/)

[Amy Poehler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-poehler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff0/amy-poehler-1084_comedy_when-in-doubt-make-funny-faces-331457_331457.jpg)

> [No one likes change... but babies in diapers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-johnson/no-one-likes-change-but-babies-in-diapers/)

[Barbara Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-johnson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bb/barbara-johnson-8544_babies_no-one-likes-change-but-babies-in-diaper_1245415.png)

> [Real men change diapers!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-cannon/real-men-change-diapers/)

[Nick Cannon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-cannon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1c2/nick-cannon-7630_diapers_real-men-change-diapers-1663774_1663774.jpg)

> [You never forget how to change diapers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-doohan/you-never-forget-how-to-change-diapers/)

[James Doohan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-doohan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/68f/james-doohan-15003_change_you-never-forget-how-to-change-diapers-1_1139874.png)

> [MOST POLITICANS are like diapers,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/from-naomi-judd-book/most-politicans-are-like-diapers/)

[From Naomi Judd Book](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/from-naomi-judd-book/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/337/from-naomi-judd-book-238491_diapers_most-politicans-are-like-diapers-390565_390565.jpg)

> [A diaper is as inspiring as a drink.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rufus-wainwright/a-diaper-is-as-inspiring-as-a-drink/)

[Rufus Wainwright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rufus-wainwright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ce3/rufus-wainwright-2260_diaper_a-diaper-is-as-inspiring-as-a-drink-1350_1350953.png)

> [Always remember your kid's name,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-poehler/always-remember-your-kid-s-name/)

[Amy Poehler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-poehler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/36f/amy-poehler-1084_diapers_always-remember-your-kid-s-name-777955_777955.jpg)

> [Minds, like diapers, need occasional changing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-cushman/minds-like-diapers-need-occasional-changing/)

[Karen Cushman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-cushman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/401/karen-cushman-24799_diapers_minds-like-diapers-need-occasional-chang_1657806.jpg)

> [Congressmen are like diapers - You need to change them often, and for the same reason](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pete-mccloskey/congressmen-are-like-diapers-you-need-to-change-them-often-and-for/)

[Pete McCloskey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pete-mccloskey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e4e/pete-mccloskey-52073_congressman_congressmen-are-like-diapers-you-need-to_127733.jpg)

> [Leave my diapers moist in the back seat of your Rolls Royce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kool-keith/leave-my-diapers-moist-in-the-back-seat-of-your-rolls-royce/)

[Kool Keith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kool-keith/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/155/kool-keith-14577_diapers_leave-my-diapers-moist-in-the-back-seat_2271118.png)

> [Diapers do not belong on the same table as food.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/diapers-do-not-belong-on-the-same-table-as-food/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5a/mallory-ortberg-7200_diapers_diapers-do-not-belong-on-the-same-table_3128922.jpg)

> [“Tell the children to do all their business before they come over. I do not change diapers.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sophie-oak/tell-the-children-to-do-all-their-business-before-they-come-over-i-do/)

[Sophie Oak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sophie-oak/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8db/sophie-oak-14681_business_tell-the-children-to-do-all-their-busine_1812990.jpg)

> [How to fold a diaper depends on the size of the baby and the diaper.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-spock/how-to-fold-a-diaper-depends-on-the-size-of-the-baby-and-the-diaper/)

[Benjamin Spock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-spock/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a04/benjamin-spock-9466_baby_how-to-fold-a-diaper-depends-on-the-size_620677.png)

> [When the baby is older take the diapers off, my girl is gonna do the Slop.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chubby-checker/when-the-baby-is-older-take-the-diapers-off-my-girl-is-gonna-do-the/)

[Chubby Checker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chubby-checker/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/696/chubby-checker-12774_baby_when-the-baby-is-older-take-the-diapers_1637984.jpg)

> [I recommend that everyone have a Diaper Genie. Who can live without it?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-kardashian/i-recommend-that-everyone-have-a-diaper-genie-who-can-live-without-it/)

[Kim Kardashian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-kardashian/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/109/kim-kardashian-901_diaper_i-recommend-that-everyone-have-a-diaper_122149.jpg)

> [“A man who lives long enough will be a boy twice.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/a-man-who-lives-long-enough-will-be-a-boy-twice/)

[Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/966/mokokoma-mokhonoana-195_age_a-man-who-lives-long-enough-will-be-a-bo_1502705.jpg)

> [Do you live each day as if it's your first or your last? Either way you should probably have a diaper on.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-degeneres/do-you-live-each-day-as-if-it-s-your-first-or-your-last-either-way/)

[Ellen DeGeneres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-degeneres/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a50/ellen-degeneres-604_diapers_do-you-live-each-day-as-if-it-s-your-fir_1040236.jpg)

> [If you say children wouldn't know anything about masturbation on their own, you've never changed a little boy's diaper.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joycelyn-elders/if-you-say-children-wouldn-t-know-anything-about-masturbation-on/)

[Joycelyn Elders](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joycelyn-elders/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96e/joycelyn-elders-12167_boys_if-you-say-children-wouldn-t-know-anythi_3130546.png)

> [Snap judgments? I'd gotten over those about the time I was toilet trained. Swore off diapers and faith in the human experience…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-thurman/snap-judgments-i-d-gotten-over-those-about-the-time-i-was-toilet/)

[Rob Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-thurman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e11/rob-thurman-10496_diapers_snap-judgments-i-d-gotten-over-those-abo_2095670.jpg)

> [We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/we-wondered-why-when-a-child-laughed-he-belonged-to-daddy-and-when-he/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c7f/erma-bombeck-780_children_we-wondered-why-when-a-child-laughed-he_2166052.png)

> [Intelligence, in diapers, is invisible. And when it matures, out the window it flies. We have to pounce on it earlier.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stanislaw-jerzy-lec/intelligence-in-diapers-is-invisible-and-when-it-matures-out-the/)

[Stanislaw Jerzy Lec](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stanislaw-jerzy-lec/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ad/stanislaw-jerzy-lec-3312_diapers_intelligence-in-diapers-is-invisible-and_1548025.png)

> [In less than a year, the Bush administration will strut out of office, leaving the country in roughly the same condition a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graydon-carter/in-less-than-a-year-the-bush-administration-will-strut-out-of-office/)

[Graydon Carter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graydon-carter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7e3/graydon-carter-6607_administration_in-less-than-a-year-the-bush-administrat_2071327.png)

> [I can change a diaper in 30 seconds flat. I set the new one beneath the old one. That way, it's just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/drew-brees/i-can-change-a-diaper-in-30-seconds-flat-i-set-the-new-one-beneath/)

[Drew Brees](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/drew-brees/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/37c/drew-brees-10288_diapers_i-can-change-a-diaper-in-30-seconds-flat_969724.jpg)

> [The best burp cloths I find is getting a large package of disposable cloth diapers without padding and use them; I used…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shanna-moakler/the-best-burp-cloths-i-find-is-getting-a-large-package-of-disposable/)

[Shanna Moakler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shanna-moakler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d81/shanna-moakler-5232_best_the-best-burp-cloths-i-find-is-getting-a_845264.png)

> [“Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/let-us-hope-manufacturers-can-come-up-with-a-diaper-that-is/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/72f/erma-bombeck-780_baby_let-us-hope-manufacturers-can-come-up-wi_1929217.png)

> [But playing your music as loud as you want and coming home drunk aren't real life. Real life, it turns out, is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-miller/but-playing-your-music-as-loud-as-you-want-and-coming-home-drunk-aren/)

[Donald Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e18/donald-miller-607_behinds_but-playing-your-music-as-loud-as-you-wa_389688.jpg)

> [Dad says Specter gets steak every Saturday night for the rest of his life.""Specter will hold him to that, I'm sure." Diana…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jayne-ann-krentz/dad-says-specter-gets-steak-every-saturday-night-for-the-rest-of-his/)

[Jayne Ann Krentz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jayne-ann-krentz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69b/jayne-ann-krentz-10852_breasts_dad-says-specter-gets-steak-every-saturd_2487022.jpg)

> [I guess in all of the obvious ways. I can afford more diapers for my children. If I want to buy a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kirkman/i-guess-in-all-of-the-obvious-ways-i-can-afford-more-diapers-for-my/)

[Robert Kirkman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kirkman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/20c/robert-kirkman-11824_asks_i-guess-in-all-of-the-obvious-ways-i-can_2397991.jpg)

> [Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-williams/look-at-airport-security-now-what-started-out-as-definite-racial/)

[Robin Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-williams/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e40/robin-williams-682_air-travel_look-at-airport-security-now-what-starte_1190040.jpg)

> [Cinderella and the prince lived, they say, happily ever after, like two dolls in a museum case never bothered by diapers or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-sexton/cinderella-and-the-prince-lived-they-say-happily-ever-after-like-two/)

[Anne Sexton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-sexton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea4/anne-sexton-645_arguing_cinderella-and-the-prince-lived-they-say_103105.png)

> [Of all the questions I'm asked, the most difficult is, "How does it feel to be famous?" Since I'm not, that question…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/of-all-the-questions-i-m-asked-the-most-difficult-is-how-does-it-feel/)

[Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/728/stephen-king-13_catch-me_of-all-the-questions-i-m-asked-the-most_1497560.jpg)

> [I suffered from a mild case of postpartum depression after my second child and the physical challenge of maintaining an overnight shift…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mika-brzezinski/i-suffered-from-a-mild-case-of-postpartum-depression-after-my-second/)

[Mika Brzezinski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mika-brzezinski/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28d/mika-brzezinski-11393_case_i-suffered-from-a-mild-case-of-postpartu_2652803.jpg)

> [I felt so proud to be having a baby and so excited. And I felt closer to other women - to my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katie-holmes/i-felt-so-proud-to-be-having-a-baby-and-so-excited-and-i-felt-closer/)

[Katie Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katie-holmes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ac/katie-holmes-6657_baby_i-felt-so-proud-to-be-having-a-baby-and_2104834.jpg)

> [Well, Rush, look what happened? 9/11 happened, and we didn't know it in advance. That's right, we got hit, we got hit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rush-limbaugh/well-rush-look-what-happened-9-11-happened-and-we-didn-t-know-it-in/)

[Rush Limbaugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rush-limbaugh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/939/rush-limbaugh-28_agency_well-rush-look-what-happened-9-11-happen_167525.jpg)

> [A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-a-heinlein/a-human-being-should-be-able-to-change-a-diaper-plan-an-invasion/)

[Robert A. Heinlein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-a-heinlein/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/52c/robert-a-heinlein-209_able_a-human-being-should-be-able-to-change-a_403429.jpg)

> [I'd like to say is that we shouldn't have an idea that the goal of spiritual practice is to annihilate ones ego,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-thurman/i-d-like-to-say-is-that-we-shouldn-t-have-an-idea-that-the-goal-of/)

[Robert Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-thurman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/639/robert-thurman-9409_buddhism_i-d-like-to-say-is-that-we-shouldn-t-hav_698213.jpg)

> [There are many people writing songs. That is absolutely wonderful. Who knows, there may be some kid in diapers and he or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pete-seeger/there-are-many-people-writing-songs-that-is-absolutely-wonderful-who/)

[Pete Seeger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pete-seeger/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/269/pete-seeger-1942_around-the-world_there-are-many-people-writing-songs-that_1650109.png)

> [“If you live long enough & have changed enough diapers like I have raising 6 whole grown adult children one-at-a-time; you ought…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tracey-bond/if-you-live-long-enough-have-changed-enough-diapers-like-i-have/)

[Tracey Bond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tracey-bond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b9/tracey-bond-12107_bullshit_if-you-live-long-enough-have-changed-eno_1436890.jpg)

> [People often ask me, "What's the difference between couplehood and babyhood?" In a word? Moisture. Everything in my life is now more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-reiser/people-often-ask-me-what-s-the-difference-between-couplehood-and/)

[Paul Reiser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-reiser/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c29/paul-reiser-7549_ask-me_people-often-ask-me-what-s-the-differenc_2939474.jpg)

> [A word to the wise to all the children of the twentieth century, whether their concern be pediatrics or geriatrics, whether they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-serling/a-word-to-the-wise-to-all-the-children-of-the-twentieth-century/)

[Rod Serling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-serling/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f3/rod-serling-2652_beard_a-word-to-the-wise-to-all-the-children-o_1416618.jpg)

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                        "text": "We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill, 'He wants his mother.'",
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                        "text": "I can change a diaper in 30 seconds flat. I set the new one beneath the old one. That way, it's just wipe and pull the flap over",
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                        "text": "The best burp cloths I find is getting a large package of disposable cloth diapers without padding and use them; I used them for everything and the more you wash them the softer they become!",
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                        "text": "“Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.”",
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                        "text": "But playing your music as loud as you want and coming home drunk aren't real life. Real life, it turns out, is diapers and lawnmowers, decks that need painting, a wife that needs to be listened to, kids that need to be taught right from wrong, a checkbook, an oil change, a sunset behind a mountain, laughter at a kitchen table, too much wine, a chipped tooth, and a screaming child.",
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                        "text": "Dad says Specter gets steak every Saturday night for the rest of his life.\"\"Specter will hold him to that, I'm sure.\" Diana leaned back against the pillows. \"Hurry up and tell me the rest. Once Colby gets back, he probably won't tell me a thing. All he'll want to discuss is breast-feeding techniques and how tochange diapers.",
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                        "text": "I guess in all of the obvious ways. I can afford more diapers for my children. If I want to buy a complete set of Garbage Pail Kids on Ebay I don't have to ask my wife so hard. For the most part, it's mostly the same. I keep my head down and I just work on comics for most of the time.",
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                        "text": "Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why you get a seven-month-old getting a pat down. [Imitates a security officer.] \"Check the diapers. They're full.\"",
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                        "text": "Cinderella and the prince lived, they say, happily ever after, like two dolls in a museum case never bothered by diapers or dust, never arguing over the timing of an egg, never telling the same story twice.",
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                        "text": "Of all the questions I'm asked, the most difficult is, \"How does it feel to be famous?\" Since I'm not, that question always catches me with a feeling of surrealism…I've got three kids and I've changed all their diapers, and when it's two o'clock in the morning and you're changing something that's sort of special delivery with one eye open and one eye shut you don't feel famous.",
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                        "text": "I suffered from a mild case of postpartum depression after my second child and the physical challenge of maintaining an overnight shift at CBS, a marriage, and two in diapers made the symptoms worse and everyone in the house paid the price.",
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                        "text": "I felt so proud to be having a baby and so excited. And I felt closer to other women - to my sisters, to my mom. I felt empowered, like, 'I've given birth. I did it! There's nothing I can't handle.' I've really enjoyed this time that I have taken to be with Suri, as well as the challenges of the first couple of months: feeding and pumping, learning to decipher what each cry means - is she hungry? Is she tired? Does she need a fresh diaper? - and figuring out how to really help her.",
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                        "text": "Well, Rush, look what happened? 9/11 happened, and we didn't know it in advance. That's right, we got hit, we got hit big time. We need a new agency to make sure it doesn't happen again, Rush.\" And that was the excuse for starting Department of Homeland Security. The government grows and grows and grows and grows, and what do we get? Little old ladies wanded, scanned for bombs and weapons under their skirts next to the incontinence diapers. A bunch safer.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.",
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                            "caption": "“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a…” — Robert A. Heinlein",
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                        "text": "I'd like to say is that we shouldn't have an idea that the goal of spiritual practice is to annihilate ones ego, that would be a mistake. In the early years of enlightenment, psychologists were afraid of Hindus and Buddhists meditating because they thought they were going to shatter their egos and then they'd have to wear diapers or something, like they'd lose their toilet training or what have you. They were really afraid of it.",
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                        "text": "There are many people writing songs. That is absolutely wonderful. Who knows, there may be some kid in diapers and he or she might succeed in capturing in a few dozen words what great writers have spent years trying to say. Just the right word in the right place with the right melody behind it and the right rhythm. It might get around the world inch by inch, and people realize that this world is in danger, that we're in danger. That's the way \"This Land Is Your Land\" got to be so well known.",
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                        "text": "“If you live long enough & have changed enough diapers like I have raising 6 whole grown adult children one-at-a-time; you ought to be able to call out bullshit blindly, in about a million different ways & plays. My potty-training days have long been over...so what fool retards at their wisdom stage? For this chief reason, I could show you better than tell you, try as you might: you cannot change grown ups diapers in life, who think you don't know how 'full of shit' they are today.”",
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                        "text": "People often ask me, \"What's the difference between couplehood and babyhood?\" In a word? Moisture. Everything in my life is now more moist. Between your spittle, your diapers, your spit-up and drool, you got your baby food, your wipes, your formula, your leaky bottles, sweaty baby backs, and numerous other untraceable sources-all creating an ever-present moistness in my life, which heretofore was mainly dry.",
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                        "text": "A word to the wise to all the children of the twentieth century, whether their concern be pediatrics or geriatrics, whether they crawl on hands and knees and wear diapers or walk with a cane and comb their beards. There's a wondrous magic to Christmas, and there's a special power reserved for little people. In short, there's nothing mightier than the meek, and a merry Christmas to each and all.",
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