---
title: "47 Depression Quotes By Andrew Solomon"
description: "Depression quotes by Andrew Solomon explore inner reality, loss of interest, and the contrast with vitality."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b7b/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_i-chose-fat-and-functional-over-slender_3155974.jpg"
---

> [“I chose fat and functional over slender and miserable.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-chose-fat-and-functional-over-slender-and-miserable/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b7b/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_i-chose-fat-and-functional-over-slender_3155974.jpg)

> [Dealing with depression effectively is a mark not of weakness, but of strength.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/dealing-with-depression-effectively-is-a-mark-not-of-weakness-but-of/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/25f/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_dealing-with-depression-effectively-is-a_761410.jpg)

> [Shutting out the depression strengthens it. While you hide from it, it grows.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/shutting-out-the-depression-strengthens-it-while-you-hide-from-it-it/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b8f/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_shutting-out-the-depression-strengthens_1829103.jpg)

> [I often say that the opposite of depression is not happiness but vitality.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-often-say-that-the-opposite-of-depression-is-not-happiness-but/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/385/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_i-often-say-that-the-opposite-of-depress_1264122.jpg)

> [Depression means that you have no point of view.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/depression-means-that-you-have-no-point-of-view/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/25a/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_depression-means-that-you-have-no-point_2409863.jpg)

> [The anxiety phase of my first depression lasted six months. It was incredibly paralyzing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/the-anxiety-phase-of-my-first-depression-lasted-six-months-it-was/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d9/andrew-solomon-1140_anxiety_the-anxiety-phase-of-my-first-depression_1528997.jpg)

> [“the symptoms of depression cause depression. Loneliness is depressing, but depression also causes loneliness.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/the-symptoms-of-depression-cause-depression-loneliness-is-depressing/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aea/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_the-symptoms-of-depression-cause-depress_2189496.jpg)

> [“There is so much pain in the world, and most of these people keep theirs secret, rolling through agonizing lives in invisible…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/there-is-so-much-pain-in-the-world-and-most-of-these-people-keep/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef5/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_there-is-so-much-pain-in-the-world-and-m_885419.jpg)

> [Oh yes, I certainly have low days. I feel that in treating the depression, it's not so much that I've become happier…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/oh-yes-i-certainly-have-low-days-i-feel-that-in-treating-the/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a18/andrew-solomon-1140_better_oh-yes-i-certainly-have-low-days-i-feel_1737574.jpg)

> [Depression is the flaw in love. To be creatures who love, we must be creatures who can despair at what we lose,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/depression-is-the-flaw-in-love-to-be-creatures-who-love-we-must-be-2/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f9c/andrew-solomon-1140_creatures_depression-is-the-flaw-in-love-to-be-cre_2234416.jpg)

> [The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality, and it was vitality that seemed to seep away from me in that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/the-opposite-of-depression-is-not-happiness-but-vitality-and-it-was/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2fc/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_the-opposite-of-depression-is-not-happin_305893.jpg)

> [When I'm not depressed, I draw strength and beauty from depression; when I am depressed, I find no such things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/when-i-m-not-depressed-i-draw-strength-and-beauty-from-depression/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c1c/andrew-solomon-1140_beauty_when-i-m-not-depressed-i-draw-strength-a_1098447.jpg)

> [The experience of being depressed and emerging from depression made me understand the idea of a soul. I felt that the language…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/the-experience-of-being-depressed-and-emerging-from-depression-made/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7eb/andrew-solomon-1140_acknowledge_the-experience-of-being-depressed-and-em_3007626.jpg)

> [Depression is the flaw in love. There's no such thing as love without the anticipation of loss. And that specter of despair…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/depression-is-the-flaw-in-love-there-s-no-such-thing-as-love-without/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a0e/andrew-solomon-1140_anticipation_depression-is-the-flaw-in-love-there-s-n_2189463.jpg)

> [You don't think in depression that you've put on a gray veil and are seeing the world through the haze of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/you-don-t-think-in-depression-that-you-ve-put-on-a-gray-veil-and-are/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b05/andrew-solomon-1140_bad-mood_you-don-t-think-in-depression-that-you-v_1948301.jpg)

> [There is enormous shame around depression of any kind and at any time. And there's enormous social stigma attached to it, which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/there-is-enormous-shame-around-depression-of-any-kind-and-at-any-time/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/91c/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_there-is-enormous-shame-around-depressio_803562.jpg)

> [I found myself losing interest in almost everything, I didn't want to do any of the things I had previously wanted to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-found-myself-losing-interest-in-almost-everything-i-didn-t-want-to/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/110/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_i-found-myself-losing-interest-in-almost_436326.jpg)

> [Antonin Artaud wrote on one of his drawings, "Never real and always true," and that is how depression feels. You know that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/antonin-artaud-wrote-on-one-of-his-drawings-never-real-and-always/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/660/andrew-solomon-1140_artaud_antonin-artaud-wrote-on-one-of-his-drawi_71146.jpg)

> [One of the things that frequently gets lost in descriptions of depression is that the depressed person often knows that it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/one-of-the-things-that-frequently-gets-lost-in-descriptions-of/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c4/andrew-solomon-1140_business_one-of-the-things-that-frequently-gets-l_321342.jpg)

> [A large proportion of my best friends are a little bit crazy. ... I try to be cautious with my friends who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/a-large-proportion-of-my-best-friends-are-a-little-bit-crazy-i-try-to/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/066/andrew-solomon-1140_be-cautious_a-large-proportion-of-my-best-friends-ar_2569173.jpg)

> [The most important thing to remember about depression is this: you do not get the time back. It is not tacked on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/the-most-important-thing-to-remember-about-depression-is-this-you-do/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61a/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_the-most-important-thing-to-remember-abo_1159290.jpg)

> [“I hit walls of past pleasure all the time, and for me past pleasure is much harder to process then past pain...for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-hit-walls-of-past-pleasure-all-the-time-and-for-me-past-pleasure-is/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5f/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_i-hit-walls-of-past-pleasure-all-the-tim_177543.jpg)

> [“It is not pleasant to experience decay, to find yourself exposed to the ravages of an almost daily rain, and to know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/it-is-not-pleasant-to-experience-decay-to-find-yourself-exposed-to/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/105/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_it-is-not-pleasant-to-experience-decay-t_983219.jpg)

> [One of the things that often gets lost in discussions of depression is that you know it's ridiculous. You know it's ridiculous…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/one-of-the-things-that-often-gets-lost-in-discussions-of-depression/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aeb/andrew-solomon-1140_big-deal_one-of-the-things-that-often-gets-lost-i_916741.jpg)

> [Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don't believe it. Seek out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/listen-to-the-people-who-love-you-believe-that-they-are-worth-living/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ba/andrew-solomon-1140_be-brave_listen-to-the-people-who-love-you-believ_535124.jpg)

> [It is important not to suppress your feelings altogether when you are depressed. It is equally important to avoid terrible arguments or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/it-is-important-not-to-suppress-your-feelings-altogether-when-you-are/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95f/andrew-solomon-1140_action_it-is-important-not-to-suppress-your-fee_528737.jpg)

> [“In the throws of depression, one reaches a strange point at which it is impossible to see the line between ones own…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/in-the-throws-of-depression-one-reaches-a-strange-point-at-which-it/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ebd/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_in-the-throws-of-depression-one-reaches_82185.jpg)

> [“When I had the third breakdown, the mini-breakdown, I was in the late stages of writing this book. Since I could not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/when-i-had-the-third-breakdown-the-mini-breakdown-i-was-in-the-late/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d91/andrew-solomon-1140_books_when-i-had-the-third-breakdown-the-mini_2790510.jpg)

> [“I did not want to sit on the roof, though I was also aware that if I didn’t allow myself the relief…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-did-not-want-to-sit-on-the-roof-though-i-was-also-aware-that-if-i/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a9f/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_i-did-not-want-to-sit-on-the-roof-though_2887366.jpg)

> [“The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality and my life, as I write this, is vital even when sad. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/the-opposite-of-depression-is-not-happiness-but-vitality-and-my-life/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/815/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_the-opposite-of-depression-is-not-happin_3123283.jpg)

> [“Since I am writing a book about depression, I am often asked in social situations to describe my own experiences, and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/since-i-am-writing-a-book-about-depression-i-am-often-asked-in-social/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c7/andrew-solomon-1140_body-weight_since-i-am-writing-a-book-about-depressi_96303.jpg)

> [“You are constantly told in depression that your judgment is compromised, but a part of depression is that it touches cognition. That…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/you-are-constantly-told-in-depression-that-your-judgment-is/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f97/andrew-solomon-1140_breakdown_you-are-constantly-told-in-depression-th_2187795.jpg)

> [“It is too often the quality of happiness that you feel at every moment its fragility, while depression seems when you are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/it-is-too-often-the-quality-of-happiness-that-you-feel-at-every/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4b/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_it-is-too-often-the-quality-of-happiness_1954565.jpg)

> [“Depression is the flaw in love. To be creatures who love, we must be creatures who can despair at what we lose,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/depression-is-the-flaw-in-love-to-be-creatures-who-love-we-must-be/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e9/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_depression-is-the-flaw-in-love-to-be-cre_396010.jpg)

> [I hated being depressed, but it was also in depression that I learned my own acreage, the full extent of my soul.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-hated-being-depressed-but-it-was-also-in-depression-that-i-learned/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fc4/andrew-solomon-1140_being-depressed_i-hated-being-depressed-but-it-was-also_264812.jpg)

> [Depressed people cannot lead a revolution because depressed people can barely manage to get out of bed and put on their shoes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/depressed-people-cannot-lead-a-revolution-because-depressed-people/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19a/andrew-solomon-1140_bed_depressed-people-cannot-lead-a-revolutio_398088.jpg)

> [It's important to say that depression has biological underpinnings, and that while medications do not seem to create irreversible changes in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/it-s-important-to-say-that-depression-has-biological-underpinnings/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/031/andrew-solomon-1140_brain_it-s-important-to-say-that-depression-ha_1253933.jpg)

> [The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality, and it was vitality that seemed to seep out of me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/the-opposite-of-depression-is-not-happiness-but-vitality-and-it-was-2/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55e/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_the-opposite-of-depression-is-not-happin_1156143.jpg)

> [Grief is depression in proportion to circumstance; depression is grief out of proportion to circumstance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/grief-is-depression-in-proportion-to-circumstance-depression-is-grief/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ba/andrew-solomon-1140_circumstances_grief-is-depression-in-proportion-to-cir_1062101.jpg)

> [Depression is so exhausting - it takes up so much of your time and energy - and silence about it, it really…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/depression-is-so-exhausting-it-takes-up-so-much-of-your-time-and/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/000/andrew-solomon-1140_depression_depression-is-so-exhausting-it-takes-up_875211.jpg)

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- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b017/author-matt-haig-65440.jpg) Matt Haig 22 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/depression/matt-haig/)
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- [Sally Brampton 18 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/depression/sally-brampton/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-stephen-fry-87000.jpg) Stephen Fry 16 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/depression/stephen-fry/)

## More by Andrew Solomon

> [“If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/if-you-banish-the-dragons-you-banish-the-heroes/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

> [I started traveling out of curiosity, but I have come to believe in travel's political importance, that encouraging a nation's citizenry to travel may…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-started-traveling-out-of-curiosity-but-i-have-come-to-believe-in/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

> [When I was born, the wisdom was that homosexuality was an illness; that it was caused largely by somebody's mother, and a distorted relationship…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/when-i-was-born-the-wisdom-was-that-homosexuality-was-an-illness-that/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

> [A lot of people are very political when they are young, and then they outgrow it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/a-lot-of-people-are-very-political-when-they-are-young-and-then-they/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

> [Having always imagined myself in a fairly slim minority, I suddenly saw that I was in a vast company. Difference unites us. While each…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/having-always-imagined-myself-in-a-fairly-slim-minority-i-suddenly/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

> [If your love didn't always contain the possibility of loss, it would be very different from human love as we know it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/if-your-love-didn-t-always-contain-the-possibility-of-loss-it-would/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

> [Antonin Artaud wrote on one of his drawings, "Never real and always true," and that is how depression feels. You know that it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/antonin-artaud-wrote-on-one-of-his-drawings-never-real-and-always/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

> [I met people on college campuses who were defining themselves as genderqueer to express revolutionary feelings, or to communicate their individuality; they were gender…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-met-people-on-college-campuses-who-were-defining-themselves-as/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

> [“In the throws of depression, one reaches a strange point at which it is impossible to see the line between ones own theatricality and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/in-the-throws-of-depression-one-reaches-a-strange-point-at-which-it/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

> [“Since I am writing a book about depression, I am often asked in social situations to describe my own experiences, and I usually end…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/since-i-am-writing-a-book-about-depression-i-am-often-asked-in-social/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

> [Loving our own children is an exercise for the imagination.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/loving-our-own-children-is-an-exercise-for-the-imagination/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

> [One the one hand, the simple fact that there are children and that I do have an effect on them has been one of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/one-the-one-hand-the-simple-fact-that-there-are-children-and-that-i/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

> [I grew up feeling that to be gay was a tragedy. I didn't grow up thinking that it was morally wrong, but I grew…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-grew-up-feeling-that-to-be-gay-was-a-tragedy-i-didn-t-grow-up/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

> [We need to acknowledge that families come in multiple shapes and sizes, that love is not a finite asset, and that caregiving involves more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/we-need-to-acknowledge-that-families-come-in-multiple-shapes-and/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

> [I had always wanted to have children, so it caused me a lot of grief when I was younger, and I had supposed that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-had-always-wanted-to-have-children-so-it-caused-me-a-lot-of-grief/)

[Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/)

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                        "text": "There is enormous shame around depression of any kind and at any time. And there's enormous social stigma attached to it, which we need to go on fighting. But I think that the sense of depression during pregnancy and early motherhood has been particularly stigmatized, that people especially feel that should be the happiest time of your life.",
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                        "text": "I found myself losing interest in almost everything, I didn't want to do any of the things I had previously wanted to do and I didn't know why. Everything there was to do seemed like too much work. The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality, and it was vitality that seemed to seep away from me in that moment.",
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                        "text": "Antonin Artaud wrote on one of his drawings, \"Never real and always true,\" and that is how depression feels. You know that it is not real, that you are someone else, and yet you know that it is absolutely true.",
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                        "text": "One of the things that frequently gets lost in descriptions of depression is that the depressed person often knows that it is a ludicrous condition to feel so disabled by the ordinary business of quotidian life.",
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                        "text": "A large proportion of my best friends are a little bit crazy. ... I try to be cautious with my friends who are too sane. Depression is itself destructive, and it breeds destructive impulses: I am easily disappointed in people who don't get it ...",
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                        "text": "The most important thing to remember about depression is this: you do not get the time back. It is not tacked on at the end of your life to make up for the disaster years. Whatever time is eaten by a depression is gone forever. The minutes that are ticking by as you experience the illness are minutes you will not know again.",
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                        "text": "“I hit walls of past pleasure all the time, and for me past pleasure is much harder to process then past pain...for me the traumas of the past are mercifully far away. The pleasures of the past however, are tough...the worst of depression lies in a present moment that cannot escape the past it idolizes or deplores.”",
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                        "text": "“It is not pleasant to experience decay, to find yourself exposed to the ravages of an almost daily rain, and to know that you are turning into something feeble, that more and more of you will blow off with the first strong wind, making you less and less. Some people accumulate more emotional rust than others. Depression starts out insipid, fogs the days into a dull color, weakens ordinary actions until their clear shapes are obscured by the effort they require, leaves you tired and bored and self-obsessed- but you can get through all that. No happily, perhaps, but you can get through. No one has ever been able to define the collapse point that marks major depression, but when you get there, there’s not much mistaking it.”",
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                        "text": "One of the things that often gets lost in discussions of depression is that you know it's ridiculous. You know it's ridiculous while you're experiencing it. You know that most people manage to listen to their messages, and eat lunch, and organise themselves to take a shower and go out the front door, and that it's not a big deal. And yet you are nonetheless in its grip and you are unable to figure out any way around it.",
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                        "text": "Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don't believe it. Seek out the memories depression takes away and project them into the future. Be brave; be strong; take your pills. Exercise because it's good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds. Eat when food itself disgusts you. Reason with yourself when you have lost your reason.",
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                        "text": "It is important not to suppress your feelings altogether when you are depressed. It is equally important to avoid terrible arguments or expressions of outrage. You should steer clear of emotionally damaging behavior. People forgive, but it is best not to stir things up to the point at which forgiveness is required. When you are depressed, you need the love of other people, and yet depression fosters actions that destroy that love. Depressed people often stick pins into their own life rafts. The conscious mind can intervene. One is not helpless.",
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                        "text": "“In the throws of depression, one reaches a strange point at which it is impossible to see the line between ones own theatricality and the reality of madness. I discovered two conflicting qualities of character. I am melodramatic by nature; on the other hand, I can go out and “seem normal” under the most abnormal of circumstances. Antonin Artaud wrote on one of his drawings, “never real and always true”, and that is how depression feels. You know that it is not real, that you are someone else, and yet you know that it is absolutely true. Its very confusing.”",
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                        "text": "“When I had the third breakdown, the mini-breakdown, I was in the late stages of writing this book. Since I could not cope with communication of any kind during that period, I put an auto-response message on my E-mail that said I was temporarily unreachable, and a similar message on my answering machine. Acquaintances who had suffered depression knew what to make of these outgoing messages. They wasted no time. I had dozens and dozens of calls from people offering whatever they could offer and doing it glowingly. “I will come to stay the minute you call,” wrote Laura Anderson, who also sent a wild profusion of orchids, “and I’ll stay as long as it takes you to get better. If you’d prefer, you are of course always welcome here; if you need to move in for a year, I’ll be here for you. I hope you know that I will always be here for you.” Claudia Weaver wrote with questions: “Is it better for you to have someone check in with you every day or are the messages too much of a burden? If they are a burden, you needn’t answer this one, but whatever you need—just call me, anytime, day or night.” Angel Starkey called often from the pay phone at her hospital to see if I was okay. “I don’t know what you need,” she said, “but I’m worrying about you all the time. Please take care of yourself. Come and see me if you’re feeling really bad, anytime. I’d really like to see you. If you need anything, I’ll try to get it for you. Promise me you won’t hurt yourself.” Frank Rusakoff wrote me a remarkable letter and reminded me about the precious quality of hope. “I long for news that you are well and off on another adventure,” he wrote, and signed the letter, “Your friend, Frank.” I had felt committed in many ways to all these people, but the spontaneous outpouring astounded me. Tina Sonego said she’d call in sick for work if I needed her—or that she’d buy me a ticket and take me to someplace relaxing. “I’m a good cook too,” she told me. Janet Benshoof dropped by the house with daffodils and optimistic lines from favorite poems written in her clear hand and a bag so she could come sleep on my sofa, just so I wouldn’t be alone. It was an astonishing responsiveness.”",
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                        "text": "“I did not want to sit on the roof, though I was also aware that if I didn’t allow myself the relief of considering suicide, I would soon explode from within and commit suicide. I felt the fatal tentacles of this despair wrapping themselves around my arms and legs. Soon they would hold the fingers I would need to take the right pills or to pull the trigger, and when I had died, they would be the only motion left. I knew that the voice of reason (“For heaven’s sake, just go downstairs!”) was the voice of reason, but I also knew that by reason I would deny all the poison within me, and I felt already some strange despairing ecstasy at the thought of the end. If only I had been disposable like yesterday’s paper! I would have thrown myself away so quietly then and been glad of the absence, glad in the grave if that was the only place that could allow some gladness.”",
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                        "text": "“The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality and my life, as I write this, is vital even when sad. I may wake up sometime next year without my mind again; it is not likely to stick around all the time. Meanwhile, however, I have discovered what I would have to call a soul, a part of myself I could never have imagined until one day, seven years ago, when hell came to pay me a surprise visit. It's a precious discovery. Almost every day I feel momentary flashes of hopelessness and wonder every time whether I am slipping. For a petrifying instant here and there, a lightning-quick flash, I want a car to run me over...I hate these feelings but, but I know that they have driven me to look deeper at life, to find and cling to reasons for living, I cannot find it in me to regret entirely the course my life has taken. Every day, I choose, sometimes gamely, and sometimes against the moment's reason, to be alive. Is that not a rare joy?”",
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                        "text": "“Since I am writing a book about depression, I am often asked in social situations to describe my own experiences, and I usually end by saying that I am on medication. “Still?” people ask. “But you seem fine!” To which I invariably reply that I seem fine because I am fine, and that I am fine in part because of medication. “So how long do you expect to go on taking this stuff?” people ask. When I say that I will be on medication indefinitely, people who have dealt calmly and sympathetically with the news of suicide attempts, catatonia, missed years of work, significant loss of body weight, and so on stare at me with alarm. “But it’s really bad to be on medicine that way,” they say. “Surely now you are strong enough to be able to phase out some of these drugs!” If you say to them that this is like phasing the carburetor out of your car or the buttresses out of Notre Dame, they laugh. “So maybe you’ll stay on a really low maintenance dose?” They ask. You explain that the level of medication you take was chosen because it normalizes the systems that can go haywire, and that a low dose of medication would be like removing half of your carburetor. You add that you have experienced almost no side effects from the medication you are taking, and that there is no evidence of negative effects of long-term medication. You say that you really don’t want to get sick again. But wellness is still, in this area, associated not with achieving control of your problem, but with discontinuation of medication. “Well, I sure hope you get off it sometime soon,” they say. ”",
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                        "text": "“You are constantly told in depression that your judgment is compromised, but a part of depression is that it touches cognition. That you are having a breakdown does not mean that your life isn't a mess. If there are issues you have successfully skirted or avoided for years, they come cropping back up and stare you full in the face, and one aspect of depression is a deep knowledge that the comforting doctors who assure you that your judgment is bad are wrong. You are in touch with the real terribleness of your life. You can accept rationally that later, after the medication sets in, you will be better able to deal with the terribleness, but you will not be free of it. When you are depressed, the past and future are absorbed entirely by the present moment, as in the world of a three-year-old. You cannot remember a time when you felt better, at least not clearly; and you certainly cannot imagine a future time when you will feel better.”",
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                        "text": "“It is too often the quality of happiness that you feel at every moment its fragility, while depression seems when you are in it to be a state that will never pass. Even if you accept that moods change, that whatever you feel today will be different tomorrow, you cannot relax into happiness like you can into sadness. For me, sadness has always been and still is a more powerful feeling; and if that is not a universal experience, perhaps it is the base from which depression grows. I hated being depressed, but it was also in depression that I learned my own acreage, the full extent of my soul. When I am happy, I feel slightly distracted by happiness, as though it fails to use some part of my mind and brain that wants the exercise. Depression is something to do. My grasp tightens and becomes acute in moments of loss: I can see the beauty of glass objects fully at the moment when they slip from my hand toward the floor.”",
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                        "text": "“Depression is the flaw in love. To be creatures who love, we must be creatures who can despair at what we lose, and depression is the mechanism of that despair. When it comes, it degrades one's self and ultimately eclipses the capacity to give or receive affection. It is the aloneness within us made manifest, and it destroys not only connection to others but also the ability to be peacefully alone with oneself. Love, though it is no prophylactic against depression, is what cushions the mind and protects it from itself. Medications and psychotherapy can renew that protection, making it easier to love and be loved, and that is why they work. In good spirits, some love themselves and some love others and some love work and some love God: any of these passions can furnish that vital sense of purpose that is the opposite of depression. Love forsakes us from time to time, and we forsake love. In depression, the meaninglessness of every enterprise and every emotion, the meaninglessness of life itself, becomes self-evident. The only feeling left in this loveless state is insignificance.”",
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