--- title: "4 Decided Quotes By Jon Stewart" description: "4 Decided quotes by Jon Stewart. Plus more from Jon Stewart and more Decided sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/573/jon-stewart-455_al-qaeda_terrorists-are-planning-to-disrupt-our-d_891725.jpg" --- > [(Terrorists) are planning to disrupt our democratic process. It's scary I know, but we're not going to let al Qaeda tell us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/terrorists-are-planning-to-disrupt-our-democratic-process-it-s-scary/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/573/jon-stewart-455_al-qaeda_terrorists-are-planning-to-disrupt-our-d_891725.jpg) > [ \[John McCain\] stopped connecting and just looked at my chest and decided, "I'm just gonna continue to talk about honor and duty… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/john-mccain-stopped-connecting-and-just-looked-at-my-chest-and/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef8/jon-stewart-455_be-proud_john-mccain-stopped-connecting-and-just_1867554.jpg) > [The (Supreme Court) ruling that anyone who's arrested -- even accidentally -- can be strip-searched was decided five to four, with the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-supreme-court-ruling-that-anyone-who-s-arrested-even-accidentally/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a48/jon-stewart-455_anus_the-supreme-court-ruling-that-anyone-who_2149230.jpg) > [All in all it's a pretty great day for major league sports. At long last they've decided that gay people are fit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/all-in-all-it-s-a-pretty-great-day-for-major-league-sports-at-long/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bff/jon-stewart-455_alcohol_all-in-all-it-s-a-pretty-great-day-for-m_2426821.jpg) ## Other authors on Decided ## More by Jon Stewart > [Clearly, I'm way older than everyone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/clearly-i-m-way-older-than-everyone/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) > [I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-don-t-know-how-people-feel-that-s-the-beauty-of-tv-is-they-can-see/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) > [I don't think marijuana should be illegal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-don-t-think-marijuana-should-be-illegal/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) > [I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-reject-the-idea-there-are-just-two-sides-i-think-that-with-the/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) > [Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/megachurches-i-can-t-be-the-only-one-frightened-when-our-houses-of/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) > [While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/while-opponents-label-howard-dean-a-throwback-liberal-the-new-york/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) > [You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/you-just-have-to-keep-trying-to-do-good-work-and-hope-that-it-leads/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) > [You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/you-know-in-saudi-arabia-you-re-innocent-until-proven-jewish-female/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) > [The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-unfortunate-yet-truly-exciting-thing-about-your-life-is-that/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) > [A guy who says what people who aren't thinking are thinking.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/a-guy-who-says-what-people-who-aren-t-thinking-are-thinking/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) > [Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/do-you-guys-have-to-sell-everything-i-d-like-to-buy-the-earth-s-core/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) > [Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/christmas-and-the-new-year-are-actually-two-holidays-so-there-is-a/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) > [We're going to do a challenge. I'm going to try and download every movie ever made and you are going to try to sign…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/we-re-going-to-do-a-challenge-i-m-going-to-try-and-download-every/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) > [Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/our-culture-is-just-a-series-of-checks-and-balances-the-whole-idea/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) > [For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't you know, it's interesting. I think we don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/for-me-it-was-just-exciting-to-see-fake-news-catching-on-like-that-we/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/decided/jon-stewart/#itemlist", "name": "4 Decided Quotes By Jon Stewart", "numberOfItems": 4, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "(Terrorists) are planning to disrupt our democratic process. It's scary I know, but we're not going to let al Qaeda tell us what to do. 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But, things that weren't relevant to what we were talking about.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jon Stewart" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/john-mccain-stopped-connecting-and-just-looked-at-my-chest-and/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef8/jon-stewart-455_be-proud_john-mccain-stopped-connecting-and-just_1867554.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef8/jon-stewart-455_be-proud_john-mccain-stopped-connecting-and-just_1867554.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef8/jon-stewart-455_be-proud_john-mccain-stopped-connecting-and-just_1867554.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“[John McCain] stopped connecting and just looked at my chest and decided, \"I'm just gonna continue to talk…” — Jon Stewart", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The (Supreme Court) ruling that anyone who's arrested -- even accidentally -- can be strip-searched was decided five to four, with the votes for the searches coming from the Court's five conservatives. You know -- the 'defending personal liberty' guys. Which is weird because I'm not a constitutional scholar, but I'm willing to bet Big Government feels it's biggest when it's inside your anus.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jon Stewart" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-supreme-court-ruling-that-anyone-who-s-arrested-even-accidentally/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a48/jon-stewart-455_anus_the-supreme-court-ruling-that-anyone-who_2149230.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a48/jon-stewart-455_anus_the-supreme-court-ruling-that-anyone-who_2149230.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a48/jon-stewart-455_anus_the-supreme-court-ruling-that-anyone-who_2149230.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The (Supreme Court) ruling that anyone who's arrested -- even accidentally -- can be strip-searched was…” — Jon Stewart", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "All in all it's a pretty great day for major league sports. At long last they've decided that gay people are fit to be included in their elite club-one that's already allowed in adulterers, wife-swappers, gamblers, cheaters, rapists, racists and slaughterers of man. Those who've abused spouses, drugs, alcohol, family members and animals. Congratulations, gay athletes. 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