--- title: "3 Dave Quotes By David Wong" description: "3 Dave quotes by David Wong. Plus more from David Wong and more Dave sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f2c/david-wong-1098_bratwurst_i-had-gotten-hungry-for-bratwurst-and-ha_801126.jpg" --- > [“I had gotten hungry for bratwurst and had been walking toward the entrance of one of the four McDonald's franchises in Undisclosed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/i-had-gotten-hungry-for-bratwurst-and-had-been-walking-toward-the/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f2c/david-wong-1098_bratwurst_i-had-gotten-hungry-for-bratwurst-and-ha_801126.jpg) > [Welcome to freakdom, Dave. It’ll be time to start a Web site soon, where you’ll type out everything in one huge paragraph.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/welcome-to-freakdom-dave-it-ll-be-time-to-start-a-web-site-soon-where/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/437/david-wong-1098_dave_welcome-to-freakdom-dave-it-ll-be-time-t_2184517.png) > [The bathroom door burst open, and Molly came trotting out. The left half of her body had been shaved almost down to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/the-bathroom-door-burst-open-and-molly-came-trotting-out-the-left/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a6c/david-wong-1098_bathroom_the-bathroom-door-burst-open-and-molly-c_3128137.png) ## Other authors on Dave ## More by David Wong > [“A realization washed over her in that cold, dark space: this was how virtually all living things born on earth have died—with teeth tearing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/a-realization-washed-over-her-in-that-cold-dark-space-this-was-how/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“Let’s say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/let-s-say-you-have-an-ax-just-a-cheap-one-from-home-depot-on-one/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“John, let me make one thing clear,” Jim said, cutting me off in his most stern, evangelical voice. “Every man is blessed with his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/john-let-me-make-one-thing-clear-jim-said-cutting-me-off-in-his-most/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“John ducked casually across some DO NOT DUCK CASUALLY ACROSS THIS TAPE tape”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/john-ducked-casually-across-some-do-not-duck-casually-across-this/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“He made the engine growl and told the headlights to fuck the night.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/he-made-the-engine-growl-and-told-the-headlights-to-fuck-the-night/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“Marconi said, "I see you have your instruments. Can any of you sing? The old spirituals work best." John said, "I can sing." I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/marconi-said-i-see-you-have-your-instruments-can-any-of-you-sing-the/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“It’s the microscopic parasite that causes malaria. Nearly half of all human deaths in recorded history have been caused by this invisible assassin. One…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/it-s-the-microscopic-parasite-that-causes-malaria-nearly-half-of-all/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [At this point two elderly security guards in parkas, the guys who normally work the front desk at the plant, asked John to step…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/at-this-point-two-elderly-security-guards-in-parkas-the-guys-who/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“I stared at the price tags and thought, Why don’t you fucking kill yourself? I have that thought a lot, actually. Hey, did you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/i-stared-at-the-price-tags-and-thought-why-don-t-you-fucking-kill/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“Well, you’d better hope I am because the world was built by sociopaths, men willing to send a million innocent boys into battle to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/well-you-d-better-hope-i-am-because-the-world-was-built-by-sociopaths/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/there-is-no-word-in-the-english-language-for-the-feeling-someone-gets/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“Around us, the disembodied human limbs were piling up, forming a circle around the fountain, fusing themselves to each other like Satan’s LEGO set.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/around-us-the-disembodied-human-limbs-were-piling-up-forming-a-circle/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“I tried to say something cool, wound up stammering something like, “WANNA YOU WANNA WEENIE ME?” The end kind of trailed off in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/i-tried-to-say-something-cool-wound-up-stammering-something-like/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [John flung himself into a pseudo-karate stance, one hand poised behind him and one in front, posed like a cartoon cactus. I thought for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/john-flung-himself-into-a-pseudo-karate-stance-one-hand-poised-behind/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“Imagine fifty thousand men trapped on a desert island, deprived of food and water and sex but somehow kept alive for fifty thousand years.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/imagine-fifty-thousand-men-trapped-on-a-desert-island-deprived-of/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dave/david-wong/#itemlist", "name": "3 Dave Quotes By David Wong", "numberOfItems": 3, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I had gotten hungry for bratwurst and had been walking toward the entrance of one of the four McDonald's franchises in Undisclosed (if you think it's weird getting a bratwurst from a McDonald's, then you're not from the Midwest). I glanced at the cartoon clown logo in the window and let out a scream. Just a little scream, and a manly one. But I still frightened one little girl on the sidewalk so badly that she screamed, too.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Wong" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/i-had-gotten-hungry-for-bratwurst-and-had-been-walking-toward-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f2c/david-wong-1098_bratwurst_i-had-gotten-hungry-for-bratwurst-and-ha_801126.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f2c/david-wong-1098_bratwurst_i-had-gotten-hungry-for-bratwurst-and-ha_801126.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f2c/david-wong-1098_bratwurst_i-had-gotten-hungry-for-bratwurst-and-ha_801126.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I had gotten hungry for bratwurst and had been walking toward the entrance of one of the four McDonald's…” — David Wong", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Welcome to freakdom, Dave. It’ll be time to start a Web site soon, where you’ll type out everything in one huge paragraph.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Wong" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/welcome-to-freakdom-dave-it-ll-be-time-to-start-a-web-site-soon-where/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/437/david-wong-1098_dave_welcome-to-freakdom-dave-it-ll-be-time-t_2184517.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/437/david-wong-1098_dave_welcome-to-freakdom-dave-it-ll-be-time-t_2184517.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/437/david-wong-1098_dave_welcome-to-freakdom-dave-it-ll-be-time-t_2184517.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Welcome to freakdom, Dave. It’ll be time to start a Web site soon, where you’ll type out everything in one…” — David Wong", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The bathroom door burst open, and Molly came trotting out. The left half of her body had been shaved almost down to the skin. The right half was as shaggy as before. John emerged after her, brushing a layer of dog hair off his clothes. John said, \"Well, that's done... It was Molly's idea. She wants to look like two different dogs when she's coming and going. She thinks it will make it easier for her to steal food... That's one complicated dog, Dave. Have you started on the bomb?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Wong" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/the-bathroom-door-burst-open-and-molly-came-trotting-out-the-left/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a6c/david-wong-1098_bathroom_the-bathroom-door-burst-open-and-molly-c_3128137.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a6c/david-wong-1098_bathroom_the-bathroom-door-burst-open-and-molly-c_3128137.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a6c/david-wong-1098_bathroom_the-bathroom-door-burst-open-and-molly-c_3128137.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The bathroom door burst open, and Molly came trotting out. The left half of her body had been shaved almost…” — David Wong", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dave/david-wong/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dave/david-wong/", "name": "Dave Quotes by David Wong", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dave/david-wong/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f2c/david-wong-1098_bratwurst_i-had-gotten-hungry-for-bratwurst-and-ha_801126.jpg" }, "description": "3 Dave quotes by David Wong. Plus more from David Wong and more Dave sayings from other authors.", "breadcrumb": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dave/david-wong/#breadcrumb" } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dave/david-wong/#breadcrumb", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Topics", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Dave", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dave/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "name": "David Wong", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dave/david-wong/" } ] }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```