--- title: "19 Dan Quayle Quotes by 16 authors" description: "Browse 19 Dan Quayle quotes by 16 authors. Discover the best Dan Quayle sayings and thoughts." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/769/dan-quayle-1780_american-people_the-american-people-would-not-want-to-kn_2424360.jpg" --- > [The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-quayle/the-american-people-would-not-want-to-know-of-any-misquotes-that-dan/) [Dan Quayle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-quayle/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/769/dan-quayle-1780_american-people_the-american-people-would-not-want-to-kn_2424360.jpg) > [If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/if-life-were-fair-dan-quayle-would-be-making-a-living-asking-do-you/) [John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9de/john-cleese-1768_asking_if-life-were-fair-dan-quayle-would-be-ma_2448925.jpg) > [Somebody should talk to Dan Quayle and tell him natural blondes don't have dark grey stripes on the sides.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harvey-fierstein/somebody-should-talk-to-dan-quayle-and-tell-him-natural-blondes-don-t/) [Harvey Fierstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harvey-fierstein/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/687/harvey-fierstein-7875_dark_somebody-should-talk-to-dan-quayle-and-t_1114416.jpg) > [Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/every-time-i-see-dan-quayle-i-feel-like-buying-a-vowel/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/03b/emo-philips-1788_buying_every-time-i-see-dan-quayle-i-feel-like_3045369.png) > [I would not have married Dan Quayle had I not thought he was an equal to me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marilyn-quayle/i-would-not-have-married-dan-quayle-had-i-not-thought-he-was-an-equal/) [Marilyn Quayle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marilyn-quayle/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/30d/marilyn-quayle-63294_equal_i-would-not-have-married-dan-quayle-had_306038.png) > [Dan Quayle thinks Roe v. Wade is two ways to cross the Potomac.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-schroeder/dan-quayle-thinks-roe-v-wade-is-two-ways-to-cross-the-potomac/) [Patricia Schroeder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-schroeder/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/076/patricia-schroeder-13854_crosses_dan-quayle-thinks-roe-v-wade-is-two-ways_2285323.jpg) > [Anyone who knows Dan Quayle knows that he would rather play golf than have sex any day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marilyn-quayle/anyone-who-knows-dan-quayle-knows-that-he-would-rather-play-golf-than/) [Marilyn Quayle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marilyn-quayle/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f7/marilyn-quayle-63294_golf_anyone-who-knows-dan-quayle-knows-that-h_774235.png) > [The idea that I have to be on the same side of the fence as Dan Quayle is cruelly depressing to me,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-prince/the-idea-that-i-have-to-be-on-the-same-side-of-the-fence-as-dan/) [Harold Prince](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-prince/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/300/harold-prince-9151_believe_the-idea-that-i-have-to-be-on-the-same-s_1064891.jpg) > [That's the really neat thing about Dan Quayle, as you must have realized from the first moment you looked into those lovely…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-ehrenreich/that-s-the-really-neat-thing-about-dan-quayle-as-you-must-have/) [Barbara Ehrenreich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-ehrenreich/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43e/barbara-ehrenreich-1204_blue_that-s-the-really-neat-thing-about-dan-q_1822997.png) > [Of course with John McCain out of the race, George W. Bush has to pick a running mate. Which is kind of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/of-course-with-john-mccain-out-of-the-race-george-w-bush-has-to-pick/) [Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/83f/jay-leno-210_courses_of-course-with-john-mccain-out-of-the-ra_2674200.png) > [For some reason, the Secret Service revealed this, that Sarah Palin's Secret Service code name is 'Denali.' Turns out 'Denali' is an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/for-some-reason-the-secret-service-revealed-this-that-sarah-palin-s/) [Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f97/jay-leno-210_code_for-some-reason-the-secret-service-revea_660784.png) > [When Negroes are average, they fail, unless they are very, very lucky. Now, if you're average and white, honey, you can go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/annie-elizabeth-delany/when-negroes-are-average-they-fail-unless-they-are-very-very-lucky/) [Annie Elizabeth Delany](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/annie-elizabeth-delany/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/13c/annie-elizabeth-delany-40935_average_when-negroes-are-average-they-fail-unles_874069.jpg) > [“Dan Quayle, mutating the memes in the United Negro College Fund’s motto, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste.” There is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-brodie/dan-quayle-mutating-the-memes-in-the-united-negro-college-fund-s/) [Richard Brodie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-brodie/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/316/richard-brodie-33572_good-news_dan-quayle-mutating-the-memes-in-the-uni_1110559.jpg) > [As a general proposition, campaigns do not linger on the vice presidential nominee. When they have, it's always meant very bad news…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-greenfield/as-a-general-proposition-campaigns-do-not-linger-on-the-vice/) [Jeff Greenfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-greenfield/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d05/jeff-greenfield-12787_bad-news_as-a-general-proposition-campaigns-do-no_549923.jpg) > [Masochists are people that have pleasure confused with pain. In a world that has television confused with entertainment, doritoes confused with food,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/masochists-are-people-that-have-pleasure-confused-with-pain-in-a/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2b/p-j-o-rourke-184_confused_masochists-are-people-that-have-pleasure_2154506.png) > [I don't care who wins because I go to sporting events to scream. It's the one place on the planet you can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-don-t-care-who-wins-because-i-go-to-sporting-events-to-scream-it-s/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/66f/lewis-black-1143_bother_i-don-t-care-who-wins-because-i-go-to-sp_1831132.png) > [When from behind me, a young woman of 25 uttered the following, it was the dumbest thing I have ever heard in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/when-from-behind-me-a-young-woman-of-25-uttered-the-following-it-was/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/668/lewis-black-1143_behinds_when-from-behind-me-a-young-woman-of-25_695245.png) > [The truth is that family values, as used by the American Family Association, Dan Quayle, and the southern Baptists, has nothing to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/morris-sullivan/the-truth-is-that-family-values-as-used-by-the-american-family/) [Morris Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/morris-sullivan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/505/morris-sullivan-77987_agendas_the-truth-is-that-family-values-as-used_129146.jpg) > [“Draft-dodging is what chicken-hawks do best. Dick Cheney, Glenn Beck, Karl Rove, Rush Limbaugh (this capon claimed he had a cyst on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-theroux/draft-dodging-is-what-chicken-hawks-do-best-dick-cheney-glenn-beck/) [Alexander Theroux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-theroux/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b8/alexander-theroux-14881_attorney-general_draft-dodging-is-what-chicken-hawks-do-b_2818416.jpg) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dan-quayle/#itemlist", "name": "Dan Quayle Quotes", "numberOfItems": 19, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dan Quayle" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-quayle/the-american-people-would-not-want-to-know-of-any-misquotes-that-dan/", "image": { 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"Marilyn Quayle" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marilyn-quayle/i-would-not-have-married-dan-quayle-had-i-not-thought-he-was-an-equal/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/30d/marilyn-quayle-63294_equal_i-would-not-have-married-dan-quayle-had_306038.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/30d/marilyn-quayle-63294_equal_i-would-not-have-married-dan-quayle-had_306038.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/30d/marilyn-quayle-63294_equal_i-would-not-have-married-dan-quayle-had_306038.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I would not have married Dan Quayle had I not thought he was an equal to me.” — Marilyn Quayle", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Dan Quayle thinks Roe v. Wade is two ways to cross the Potomac.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patricia Schroeder" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-schroeder/dan-quayle-thinks-roe-v-wade-is-two-ways-to-cross-the-potomac/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/076/patricia-schroeder-13854_crosses_dan-quayle-thinks-roe-v-wade-is-two-ways_2285323.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/076/patricia-schroeder-13854_crosses_dan-quayle-thinks-roe-v-wade-is-two-ways_2285323.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/076/patricia-schroeder-13854_crosses_dan-quayle-thinks-roe-v-wade-is-two-ways_2285323.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Dan Quayle thinks Roe v. Wade is two ways to cross the Potomac.” — Patricia Schroeder", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Anyone who knows Dan Quayle knows that he would rather play golf than have sex any day.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Marilyn Quayle" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marilyn-quayle/anyone-who-knows-dan-quayle-knows-that-he-would-rather-play-golf-than/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f7/marilyn-quayle-63294_golf_anyone-who-knows-dan-quayle-knows-that-h_774235.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f7/marilyn-quayle-63294_golf_anyone-who-knows-dan-quayle-knows-that-h_774235.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f7/marilyn-quayle-63294_golf_anyone-who-knows-dan-quayle-knows-that-h_774235.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Anyone who knows Dan Quayle knows that he would rather play golf than have sex any day.” — Marilyn Quayle", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The idea that I have to be on the same side of the fence as Dan Quayle is cruelly depressing to me, but the truth is, I believe in family values.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harold Prince" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-prince/the-idea-that-i-have-to-be-on-the-same-side-of-the-fence-as-dan/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/300/harold-prince-9151_believe_the-idea-that-i-have-to-be-on-the-same-s_1064891.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/300/harold-prince-9151_believe_the-idea-that-i-have-to-be-on-the-same-s_1064891.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/300/harold-prince-9151_believe_the-idea-that-i-have-to-be-on-the-same-s_1064891.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The idea that I have to be on the same side of the fence as Dan Quayle is cruelly depressing to me, but the…” — Harold Prince", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "That's the really neat thing about Dan Quayle, as you must have realized from the first moment you looked into those lovely blue eyes: impeachment insurance.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Barbara Ehrenreich" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-ehrenreich/that-s-the-really-neat-thing-about-dan-quayle-as-you-must-have/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43e/barbara-ehrenreich-1204_blue_that-s-the-really-neat-thing-about-dan-q_1822997.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43e/barbara-ehrenreich-1204_blue_that-s-the-really-neat-thing-about-dan-q_1822997.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43e/barbara-ehrenreich-1204_blue_that-s-the-really-neat-thing-about-dan-q_1822997.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“That's the really neat thing about Dan Quayle, as you must have realized from the first moment you looked…” — Barbara Ehrenreich", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Of course with John McCain out of the race, George W. Bush has to pick a running mate. Which is kind of a scary proposition when you think about it. I mean his dad picked Dan Quayle, an he isn't as smart as his dad.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jay Leno" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/of-course-with-john-mccain-out-of-the-race-george-w-bush-has-to-pick/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/83f/jay-leno-210_courses_of-course-with-john-mccain-out-of-the-ra_2674200.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/83f/jay-leno-210_courses_of-course-with-john-mccain-out-of-the-ra_2674200.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/83f/jay-leno-210_courses_of-course-with-john-mccain-out-of-the-ra_2674200.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Of course with John McCain out of the race, George W. Bush has to pick a running mate. Which is kind of a…” — Jay Leno", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "For some reason, the Secret Service revealed this, that Sarah Palin's Secret Service code name is 'Denali.' Turns out 'Denali' is an old Eskimo name that means 'Dan Quayle.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jay Leno" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/for-some-reason-the-secret-service-revealed-this-that-sarah-palin-s/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f97/jay-leno-210_code_for-some-reason-the-secret-service-revea_660784.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f97/jay-leno-210_code_for-some-reason-the-secret-service-revea_660784.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f97/jay-leno-210_code_for-some-reason-the-secret-service-revea_660784.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“For some reason, the Secret Service revealed this, that Sarah Palin's Secret Service code name is 'Denali.'…” — Jay Leno", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When Negroes are average, they fail, unless they are very, very lucky. Now, if you're average and white, honey, you can go far. Just look at Dan Quayle. If that boy was colored he'd be washing dishes somewhere.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Annie Elizabeth Delany" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/annie-elizabeth-delany/when-negroes-are-average-they-fail-unless-they-are-very-very-lucky/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/13c/annie-elizabeth-delany-40935_average_when-negroes-are-average-they-fail-unles_874069.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/13c/annie-elizabeth-delany-40935_average_when-negroes-are-average-they-fail-unles_874069.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/13c/annie-elizabeth-delany-40935_average_when-negroes-are-average-they-fail-unles_874069.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When Negroes are average, they fail, unless they are very, very lucky. Now, if you're average and white…” — Annie Elizabeth Delany", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Dan Quayle, mutating the memes in the United Negro College Fund’s motto, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste.” There is some good news in this book. So before I get into how mind viruses are spreading wildly throughout the world—infecting people with unwanted programming like the Michelangelo computer virus infects computers with self-destruct instructions—I’ll start with the good news. . . .”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Richard Brodie" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-brodie/dan-quayle-mutating-the-memes-in-the-united-negro-college-fund-s/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/316/richard-brodie-33572_good-news_dan-quayle-mutating-the-memes-in-the-uni_1110559.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/316/richard-brodie-33572_good-news_dan-quayle-mutating-the-memes-in-the-uni_1110559.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/316/richard-brodie-33572_good-news_dan-quayle-mutating-the-memes-in-the-uni_1110559.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Dan Quayle, mutating the memes in the United Negro College Fund’s motto, “A mind is a terrible thing to…” — Richard Brodie", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "As a general proposition, campaigns do not linger on the vice presidential nominee. When they have, it's always meant very bad news for the ticket. Think of Spiro Agnew's foot-in-mouth disease; Tom Eagleton's medical history; the real estate holdings of Geraldine Ferraro's husband; the unbearable lightness of Dan Quayle; Sarah Palin's reading list.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jeff Greenfield" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-greenfield/as-a-general-proposition-campaigns-do-not-linger-on-the-vice/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d05/jeff-greenfield-12787_bad-news_as-a-general-proposition-campaigns-do-no_549923.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d05/jeff-greenfield-12787_bad-news_as-a-general-proposition-campaigns-do-no_549923.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d05/jeff-greenfield-12787_bad-news_as-a-general-proposition-campaigns-do-no_549923.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“As a general proposition, campaigns do not linger on the vice presidential nominee. When they have, it's…” — Jeff Greenfield", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Masochists are people that have pleasure confused with pain. In a world that has television confused with entertainment, doritoes confused with food, and Dan Quayle confused with a national political leader, masochists are clearly less mixed-up than the rest of us.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. J. O'Rourke" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/masochists-are-people-that-have-pleasure-confused-with-pain-in-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2b/p-j-o-rourke-184_confused_masochists-are-people-that-have-pleasure_2154506.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2b/p-j-o-rourke-184_confused_masochists-are-people-that-have-pleasure_2154506.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2b/p-j-o-rourke-184_confused_masochists-are-people-that-have-pleasure_2154506.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Masochists are people that have pleasure confused with pain. In a world that has television confused with…” — P. J. O'Rourke", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I don't care who wins because I go to sporting events to scream. It's the one place on the planet you can shout anything you want. You can bellow at will, and nobody will bother you. I yell things like, 'My life sucks! Dan Quayle is a schmuck! If I don't have sex soon, I'm going to explode!' Parents turn to their kids as I leave the stadium and go, 'Hey, there goes a great fan.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-don-t-care-who-wins-because-i-go-to-sporting-events-to-scream-it-s/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/66f/lewis-black-1143_bother_i-don-t-care-who-wins-because-i-go-to-sp_1831132.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/66f/lewis-black-1143_bother_i-don-t-care-who-wins-because-i-go-to-sp_1831132.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/66f/lewis-black-1143_bother_i-don-t-care-who-wins-because-i-go-to-sp_1831132.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I don't care who wins because I go to sporting events to scream. It's the one place on the planet you can…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 17, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When from behind me, a young woman of 25 uttered the following, it was the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life until Dan Quayle was elected Vice President of the United States. She said, if it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/when-from-behind-me-a-young-woman-of-25-uttered-the-following-it-was/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/668/lewis-black-1143_behinds_when-from-behind-me-a-young-woman-of-25_695245.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/668/lewis-black-1143_behinds_when-from-behind-me-a-young-woman-of-25_695245.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/668/lewis-black-1143_behinds_when-from-behind-me-a-young-woman-of-25_695245.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When from behind me, a young woman of 25 uttered the following, it was the dumbest thing I have ever heard…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 18, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The truth is that family values, as used by the American Family Association, Dan Quayle, and the southern Baptists, has nothing to do with either family or values, nor does it really have anything to do with homosexuals, abortionists, or pornographers. Those groups actually only serve as windmills to tilt at. The true agenda is power - power over the intellectually weak, emotionally immature, and ethically deficient Americans who are incapable of critical thinking and independent decision-making, and who are easily manipulated by the basest of human emotions - fear and the desire for revenge.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Morris Sullivan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/morris-sullivan/the-truth-is-that-family-values-as-used-by-the-american-family/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/505/morris-sullivan-77987_agendas_the-truth-is-that-family-values-as-used_129146.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/505/morris-sullivan-77987_agendas_the-truth-is-that-family-values-as-used_129146.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/505/morris-sullivan-77987_agendas_the-truth-is-that-family-values-as-used_129146.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The truth is that family values, as used by the American Family Association, Dan Quayle, and the southern…” — Morris Sullivan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 19, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Draft-dodging is what chicken-hawks do best. Dick Cheney, Glenn Beck, Karl Rove, Rush Limbaugh (this capon claimed he had a cyst on his fat ass), Newt Gingrich, former Attorney General John Ashcroft—he received seven deferments to teach business education at Southwest Missouri State—pompous Bill O’Reilly, Jeb Bush, hey, throw in John Wayne—they were all draft-dodgers. Not a single one of these mouth-breathing, cowardly, and meretricious buffoons fought for his country. All plumped for deferments. Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani? Did not serve. Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney? Did not serve in the military. (He served the Mormon Church on a thirty-month mission to France.) Former Senator Fred Thompson? Did not serve. Former President Ronald Reagan? Due to poor eyesight, he served in a noncombat role making movies for the Army in southern California during WWII. He later seems to have confused his role as an actor playing a tail gunner with the real thing. Did Rahm Emanuel serve? Yes, he did during the Gulf War 1991—in the Israeli Army. John Boehner did not serve, not a fucking second. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-KY? Not a minute! Former Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott, R-MS? Avoided the draft. Senate Minority Whip Jon Kyl, R-AZ—did not serve. National Republican Senatorial Committee Chair John Cornyn, R-TX—did not serve. Former Senate Republican Policy Committee Chair John Ensign, R-NV? Did not serve. Jack Kemp? Dan Quayle? Never served a day. Not an hour. Not an afternoon. These are the jackasses that cherish memorial services and love to salute and adore hearing “Taps.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Alexander Theroux" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-theroux/draft-dodging-is-what-chicken-hawks-do-best-dick-cheney-glenn-beck/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b8/alexander-theroux-14881_attorney-general_draft-dodging-is-what-chicken-hawks-do-b_2818416.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b8/alexander-theroux-14881_attorney-general_draft-dodging-is-what-chicken-hawks-do-b_2818416.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b8/alexander-theroux-14881_attorney-general_draft-dodging-is-what-chicken-hawks-do-b_2818416.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Draft-dodging is what chicken-hawks do best. Dick Cheney, Glenn Beck, Karl Rove, Rush Limbaugh (this capon…” — Alexander Theroux", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dan-quayle/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dan-quayle/", "name": "Dan Quayle Quotes", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dan-quayle/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/769/dan-quayle-1780_american-people_the-american-people-would-not-want-to-kn_2424360.jpg" }, "description": "Browse 19 Dan Quayle quotes by 16 authors. 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