---
title: "52 Crotch Quotes by 45 authors"
description: "Browse 52 Crotch quotes by 45 authors. Discover the best Crotch sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87b/a-j-mclean-11357_crotch_my-crotch-is-like-scrambled-eggs-1886729_1886729.png"
---

> [My crotch is like scrambled eggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-j-mclean/my-crotch-is-like-scrambled-eggs/)

[A. J. McLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-j-mclean/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87b/a-j-mclean-11357_crotch_my-crotch-is-like-scrambled-eggs-1886729_1886729.png)

> [“Does Raggedy Ann have a cotton crotch?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-sandford/does-raggedy-ann-have-a-cotton-crotch/)

[John Sandford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-sandford/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/133/john-sandford-5843_cotton_does-raggedy-ann-have-a-cotton-crotch-23_2387771.png)

> [Trick or treat ? The treat is my crotch monster !](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francis-bonnefoy/trick-or-treat-the-treat-is-my-crotch-monster/)

[Francis Bonnefoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francis-bonnefoy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/75a/francis-bonnefoy-78273_anime_trick-or-treat-the-treat-is-my-crotch-mo_1488404.jpg)

> [“You have a hole in your crotch.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-have-a-hole-in-your-crotch/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/977/anonymous-1_quote_you-have-a-hole-in-your-crotch-2132936_2132936.jpg)

> [“Crotch-punchingly real!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/crotch-punchingly-real/)

[David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08f/david-wong-1098_crotch_crotch-punchingly-real-306003_306003.png)

> [“What flies faster than a crotch? A fly.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/what-flies-faster-than-a-crotch-a-fly/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a4e/jarod-kintz-2_quote_what-flies-faster-than-a-crotch-a-fly-96_961868.jpg)

> [“How dare he have such a stinky crotch.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elle-casey/how-dare-he-have-such-a-stinky-crotch/)

[Elle Casey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elle-casey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d4/elle-casey-3650_quote_how-dare-he-have-such-a-stinky-crotch-13_1344747.jpg)

> [“The zipper on my crotch is an air vent. I need some way to cool down my hot coffee.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/the-zipper-on-my-crotch-is-an-air-vent-i-need-some-way-to-cool-down/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7b5/jarod-kintz-2_crotch_the-zipper-on-my-crotch-is-an-air-vent-i_2527119.jpg)

> [“There's no way that you're real,” she murmured to his crotch.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rose-wynters/there-s-no-way-that-you-re-real-she-murmured-to-his-crotch/)

[Rose Wynters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rose-wynters/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/100/rose-wynters-14239_crotch_there-s-no-way-that-you-re-real-she-murm_2120090.jpg)

> [“Nothing draws attention to thunder thighs more than shorts riding up your crotch.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/k-a-barson/nothing-draws-attention-to-thunder-thighs-more-than-shorts-riding-up/)

[K.A. Barson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/k-a-barson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a25/k-a-barson-63258_humor_nothing-draws-attention-to-thunder-thigh_1119727.jpg)

> [People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-nicholson/people-who-speak-in-metaphors-should-shampoo-my-crotch/)

[Jack Nicholson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-nicholson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/afd/jack-nicholson-1283_metaphor_people-who-speak-in-metaphors-should-sha_1601472.jpg)

> [Sometimes, when you're this adventurous, you rip the crotch out of your pants.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-gates/sometimes-when-you-re-this-adventurous-you-rip-the-crotch-out-of-your/)

[Josh Gates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-gates/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e3/josh-gates-11265_adventure_sometimes-when-you-re-this-adventurous-y_2400225.jpg)

> [Contrary to what you believe, the earth does not revolve around the desires of your crotch.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-ruiz-zafon/contrary-to-what-you-believe-the-earth-does-not-revolve-around-the/)

[Carlos Ruiz Zafon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-ruiz-zafon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddf/carlos-ruiz-zafon-126_believe_contrary-to-what-you-believe-the-earth-d_1041026.jpg)

> [“Someone's on the rag," she chides, then grabs her crotch as if adjusting a cup. "And it's not me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barry-lyga/someone-s-on-the-rag-she-chides-then-grabs-her-crotch-as-if-adjusting/)

[Barry Lyga](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barry-lyga/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/440/barry-lyga-3439_crotch_someone-s-on-the-rag-she-chides-then-gra_88306.png)

> [“Do you find it erotic how my pants bulge in the crotch, where I keep my coffee cup?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/do-you-find-it-erotic-how-my-pants-bulge-in-the-crotch-where-i-keep/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e5d/jarod-kintz-2_coffee-cup_do-you-find-it-erotic-how-my-pants-bulge_2392993.jpg)

> [Men are like dogs," Stacy was fond of saying. And she usually went on to add that, like dogs, they all took…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-kleypas/men-are-like-dogs-stacy-was-fond-of-saying-and-she-usually-went-on-to/)

[Lisa Kleypas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-kleypas/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/750/lisa-kleypas-111_add_men-are-like-dogs-stacy-was-fond-of-sayi_645628.png)

> [The quickest way to a woman's crotch is through her gullet. Can I make you a cake?" Big Al to Pierce, then…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-harrison/the-quickest-way-to-a-woman-s-crotch-is-through-her-gullet-can-i-make/)

[Kim Harrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-harrison/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af0/kim-harrison-323_als_the-quickest-way-to-a-woman-s-crotch-is_205526.png)

> [Every time a baseball player grabs his crotch, it makes him spit. That's why you should never date a baseball player.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marsha-warfield/every-time-a-baseball-player-grabs-his-crotch-it-makes-him-spit-that/)

[Marsha Warfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marsha-warfield/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9df/marsha-warfield-55554_ball-player_every-time-a-baseball-player-grabs-his-c_1587374.jpg)

> [“I put my hand on the crotch of my pants. “There's only one pole that counts and I've got it right here.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/georgia-cates/i-put-my-hand-on-the-crotch-of-my-pants-there-s-only-one-pole-that/)

[Georgia Cates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/georgia-cates/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/922/georgia-cates-2156_quote_i-put-my-hand-on-the-crotch-of-my-pants_1149750.jpg)

> [“I feel like grabbing my crotch and checking to see if my balls are still there because I think they may be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/i-feel-like-grabbing-my-crotch-and-checking-to-see-if-my-balls-are/)

[Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/370/katja-millay-1409_crotch_i-feel-like-grabbing-my-crotch-and-check_2346344.jpg)

> [I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-saget/i-love-watching-people-get-hit-in-the-crotch-but-only-if-they-get/)

[Bob Saget](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-saget/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06d/bob-saget-3208_ambulance_i-love-watching-people-get-hit-in-the-cr_76060.jpg)

> [“Your mouth says "No," but your eyes say, "Fuck me until your dick breaks off inside me and fuses into some kind…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kirkman/your-mouth-says-no-but-your-eyes-say-fuck-me-until-your-dick-breaks/)

[Robert Kirkman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kirkman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfc/robert-kirkman-11824_barbie_your-mouth-says-no-but-your-eyes-say-fuc_2419891.jpg)

> [“Between her hand over my heart and her hips at my crotch, she might as well have been administering a polygraph.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barry-eisler/between-her-hand-over-my-heart-and-her-hips-at-my-crotch-she-might-as/)

[Barry Eisler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barry-eisler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f90/barry-eisler-1009_crotch_between-her-hand-over-my-heart-and-her-h_1982286.png)

> [“Believe me, I knew you enjoyed it without voicing it that way. It was like your body screamed for me to take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-witter/believe-me-i-knew-you-enjoyed-it-without-voicing-it-that-way-it-was/)

[Stephanie Witter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-witter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/46c/stephanie-witter-17870_2b-or-not-2b_believe-me-i-knew-you-enjoyed-it-without_2042042.jpg)

> [“All I think about is you.” He moves my hand to his chest and I feel his heart beating rapidly against my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ella-dominguez/all-i-think-about-is-you-he-moves-my-hand-to-his-chest-and-i-feel-his/)

[Ella Dominguez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ella-dominguez/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/30b/ella-dominguez-4575_heart-beating_all-i-think-about-is-you-he-moves-my-han_615824.jpg)

> [“Jesus, you never fail to surprise me, baby.” He’s supporting the heavy bike, and us, with his strong legs braced on either…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-proby/jesus-you-never-fail-to-surprise-me-baby-he-s-supporting-the-heavy/)

[Kristen Proby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-proby/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cea/kristen-proby-2181_crotch_jesus-you-never-fail-to-surprise-me-baby_25166.jpg)

> [For the record, this isn’t a male/female thing. It’s a people thing. You talk about men being cold...you should see women from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/for-the-record-this-isn-t-a-male-female-thing-it-s-a-people-thing-you/)

[Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b8b/sherrilyn-kenyon-25_arctic_for-the-record-this-isn-t-a-male-female_983227.jpg)

> [“Another one says she has asnap-off crotch. What do you think she means by that? I'm a little worried,though, about all these…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-delillo/another-one-says-she-has-asnap-off-crotch-what-do-you-think-she-means/)

[Don DeLillo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/don-delillo/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/37d/don-delillo-294_condom_another-one-says-she-has-asnap-off-crotc_274089.jpg)

> [“Let me get this straight.Your lunchroom speech went a little something like this." I put my hands out on front of me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-echols/let-me-get-this-straight-your-lunchroom-speech-went-a-little/)

[Jennifer Echols](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-echols/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b93/jennifer-echols-943_communication_let-me-get-this-straight-your-lunchroom_238031.png)

> [“I can't help it that this is the Bermuda Triangle-she pointed at her crotch-when guys venture there, they tend to stay. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kresley-cole/i-can-t-help-it-that-this-is-the-bermuda-triangle-she-pointed-at-her/)

[Kresley Cole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kresley-cole/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/948/kresley-cole-334_bermuda-triangle_i-can-t-help-it-that-this-is-the-bermuda_2553354.jpg)

> [“I’m both surprised and irritated that I feel my tuxedo pants shrink a size in the crotch. I’ll have to be extra…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-leighton/i-m-both-surprised-and-irritated-that-i-feel-my-tuxedo-pants-shrink-a/)

[M. Leighton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-leighton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e7a/m-leighton-786_last-time_i-m-both-surprised-and-irritated-that-i_2199479.jpg)

> [“Nipple?” I ask, far too enthralled, but she shakes her head. I sit up straight and measure roughly eight inches between my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jodi-ellen-malpas/nipple-i-ask-far-too-enthralled-but-she-shakes-her-head-i-sit-up/)

[Jodi Ellen Malpas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jodi-ellen-malpas/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/783/jodi-ellen-malpas-1010_quote_nipple-i-ask-far-too-enthralled-but-she_1449149.jpg)

> [I marvel again at the nakedness of men's lives: the showers right out in the open, the body exposed for inspection and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/i-marvel-again-at-the-nakedness-of-men-s-lives-the-showers-right-out/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/841/margaret-atwood-40_badges_i-marvel-again-at-the-nakedness-of-men-s_1285317.jpg)

> [“All I have to do is shoot! In my excitement, I throw the ball down with more force than ever, feeling bad-ass.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jody-gehrman/all-i-have-to-do-is-shoot-in-my-excitement-i-throw-the-ball-down-with/)

[Jody Gehrman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jody-gehrman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/44b/jody-gehrman-18474_balls_all-i-have-to-do-is-shoot-in-my-exciteme_2449331.jpg)

> [“This time his growl was sexy instead of adorable. “Sending me to the cop shop with a hard-on. That’s what you’re doing,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-march/this-time-his-growl-was-sexy-instead-of-adorable-sending-me-to-the/)

[Meghan March](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-march/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/366/meghan-march-3897_time_this-time-his-growl-was-sexy-instead-of_77656.jpg)

> [“Nothing draws attention to thunder thighs more than short riding up your crotch”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kelly-barson/nothing-draws-attention-to-thunder-thighs-more-than-short-riding-up/)

[Kelly Barson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kelly-barson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/99f/kelly-barson-89075_humor_nothing-draws-attention-to-thunder-thigh_1287087.jpg)

> [“This place's a festering whore's crotch. Do I own it?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debra-anastasia/this-place-s-a-festering-whore-s-crotch-do-i-own-it/)

[Debra Anastasia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debra-anastasia/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e08/debra-anastasia-319_beckett_this-place-s-a-festering-whore-s-crotch_3017023.jpg)

> [The crotch, down where your nuts hang, is always a little too tight.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lyndon-b-johnson/the-crotch-down-where-your-nuts-hang-is-always-a-little-too-tight/)

[Lyndon B. Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lyndon-b-johnson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/330/lyndon-b-johnson-684_crotch_the-crotch-down-where-your-nuts-hang-is_2319080.png)

> [“My crotch is the center of my body, but not the center of my being. That would be my asshole.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/my-crotch-is-the-center-of-my-body-but-not-the-center-of-my-being/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/30e/jarod-kintz-2_crotch_my-crotch-is-the-center-of-my-body-but-n_655177.jpg)

> [Nowadays you can't tell, watch the crotch, it may swell.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dj-quik/nowadays-you-can-t-tell-watch-the-crotch-it-may-swell/)

[DJ Quik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dj-quik/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a1/dj-quik-12180_inspirational_nowadays-you-can-t-tell-watch-the-crotch_1271826.jpg)

## Top authors on Crotch

- [Jarod Kintz 5 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/crotch/jarod-kintz/)

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                        "text": "Men are like dogs,\" Stacy was fond of saying. And she usually went on to add that, like dogs, they all took up too much space on the bed, and they always went for the crotch.",
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                        "text": "The quickest way to a woman's crotch is through her gullet. Can I make you a cake?\" Big Al to Pierce, then Rachel.",
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                        "text": "“I feel like grabbing my crotch and checking to see if my balls are still there because I think they may be in her pocket and I need to get them back.”",
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                        "text": "I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they're really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I'm not laughing.",
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                        "text": "“Your mouth says \"No,\" but your eyes say, \"Fuck me until your dick breaks off inside me and fuses into some kind of barbie doll crotch.”",
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                        "text": "“Between her hand over my heart and her hips at my crotch, she might as well have been administering a polygraph.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Believe me, I knew you enjoyed it without voicing it that way. It was like your body screamed for me to take you.\" All too true, but I didn't like it to be told aloud. I arched an eyebrow, something I couldn't do when sober. \"I'm pretty sure if I put a hand on your crotch, you're sporting a boner. It works both ways.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“All I think about is you.” He moves my hand to his chest and I feel his heart beating rapidly against my palm and his eyes gloss over. “I love and live for only you.” Then he guides my hand down to his crotch. He’s completely erect and his dick is pressing firmly inside his slacks. “I want only you,” he says as he presses his forehead against mine. God I love this man.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Jesus, you never fail to surprise me, baby.” He’s supporting the heavy bike, and us, with his strong legs braced on either side. He reaches between us and rips my yoga pants at the seam of my crotch. Holy fucking shit! My panties are next, and before I know it, he’s lowered the waist of his pants and is filling me.”",
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                            "caption": "“Jesus, you never fail to surprise me, baby.” He’s supporting the heavy bike, and us, with his strong legs…” — Kristen Proby",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "For the record, this isn’t a male/female thing. It’s a people thing. You talk about men being cold...you should see women from my standpoint. We’re talking the Arctic tundra would be warmer. Believe me, you don’t want to know my vantage point on your gender. As a man, if I grabbed your breasts, I’d be arrested. Any idea how many women have felt free to grab my crotch at will? (Acheron)",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Another one says she has asnap-off crotch. What do you think she means by that? I'm a little worried,though, about all these outbreaks of lifestyle diseases. I carry a reinforced ribbed condom at all times. One size fits all. But I have a feeling it's not much protection against the intelligence and adaptability of the modern virus.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Don DeLillo"
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                            "caption": "“Another one says she has asnap-off crotch. What do you think she means by that? I'm a little worried,though…” — Don DeLillo",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Let me get this straight.Your lunchroom speech went a little something like this.\" I put my hands out on front of me like I was a Roman Orator enunciating for the crowd. \"I, Nick Krieger,defender of women, would never denounce the crotch. I am above the crotch.”",
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                            "name": "Jennifer Echols"
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                            "caption": "“Let me get this straight.Your lunchroom speech went a little something like this.\" I put my hands out on…” — Jennifer Echols",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I can't help it that this is the Bermuda Triangle-she pointed at her crotch-when guys venture there, they tend to stay. I tapped my chin. Oh, I thought you called it that because it's sucked in lots of seamen.”",
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                            "name": "Kresley Cole"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I’m both surprised and irritated that I feel my tuxedo pants shrink a size in the crotch. I’ll have to be extra careful with this girl. I can’t remember the last time someone so thoroughly tested my restraint.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Nipple?” I ask, far too enthralled, but she shakes her head. I sit up straight and measure roughly eight inches between my palms. She nods. “No!” I look over to the reserved, standoffish Drew, my eyes automatically dropping to his crotch. “You won’t see it through his jeans, Ava.” Kate chuckles, and I’m off again, too. Uncontrollable, belly clenching, might-pee-my-knickers laughter. Through my tears, I see Kate stick her tongue in her cheek. “I nearly cracked a tooth.” “Please!” I’m falling all over my chair. I’m helpless. “Something funny?” I battle to pull myself together and wipe my eyes, looking up at my Lord of the Sex Manor, who’s staring down at his giggling wife with a bemused look plastered all over his face. “No, nothing.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I marvel again at the nakedness of men's lives: the showers right out in the open, the body exposed for inspection and comparison, the public display of privates. What is it for? What purposes of reassurance does it serve? The flashing of a badge, look, everyone, all is in order, I belong here. Why don't women have to prove to one another that they are women? Some form of unbuttoning, some split-crotch routine, just as casual. A doglike sniffing.",
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                            "name": "Margaret Atwood"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“All I have to do is shoot! In my excitement, I throw the ball down with more force than ever, feeling bad-ass. It ricochets off the floor at an angle and slams right into my crotch. All around me, the room goes, “Ohhhh!” I look up. Every face is staring at me, contorted into winces. Right. Ball in crotch equals excruciating pain. I’m such an idiot! Too late, I double over in pain. “Ouch!” I yell. I sneak a glance around. Nobody looks convinced, so I add, “My balls!”",
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