---
title: "16 Crazy Quotes By Groucho Marx"
description: "16 Crazy quotes by Groucho Marx. Plus more from Groucho Marx and more Crazy sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cc/groucho-marx-788_cause_marriage-is-the-chief-cause-of-divorce-3_3067291.jpg"
---

> [Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/marriage-is-the-chief-cause-of-divorce/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cc/groucho-marx-788_cause_marriage-is-the-chief-cause-of-divorce-3_3067291.jpg)

> [Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/here-s-to-our-wives-and-girlfriends-may-they-never-meet/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/170/groucho-marx-788_crazy_here-s-to-our-wives-and-girlfriends-may_127659.jpg)

> [I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/i-ve-been-around-so-long-i-knew-doris-day-before-she-was-a-virgin/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f11/groucho-marx-788_crazy_i-ve-been-around-so-long-i-knew-doris-da_3108725.jpg)

> [Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/now-there-s-a-man-with-an-open-mind-you-can-feel-the-breeze-from-here/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1eb/groucho-marx-788_breeze_now-there-s-a-man-with-an-open-mind-you_2541274.jpg)

> [You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/you-know-i-could-rent-you-out-as-a-decoy-for-duck-hunters/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/484/groucho-marx-788_crazy_you-know-i-could-rent-you-out-as-a-decoy_1835699.jpg)

> [Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/send-two-dozen-roses-to-room-424-and-put-emily-i-love-you-on-the-back/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/31e/groucho-marx-788_bills_send-two-dozen-roses-to-room-424-and-put_1110401.jpg)

> [I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/i-m-not-crazy-about-reality-but-it-s-still-the-only-place-to-get-a/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/938/groucho-marx-788_crazy_i-m-not-crazy-about-reality-but-it-s-sti_1040420.jpg)

> [As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/as-soon-as-i-get-through-with-you-you-ll-have-a-clear-case-for/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b25/groucho-marx-788_cases_as-soon-as-i-get-through-with-you-you-ll_506102.jpg)

> [We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. . . But we're going back next week.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/we-took-pictures-of-the-native-girls-but-they-weren-t-developed-but/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a6a/groucho-marx-788_animal-crackers_we-took-pictures-of-the-native-girls-but_3052591.jpg)

> [Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/remember-men-you-are-fighting-for-the-ladies-honor-which-is-probably/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/30c/groucho-marx-788_crazy_remember-men-you-are-fighting-for-the-la_1482561.jpg)

> [Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/dig-trenches-with-our-men-being-killed-off-like-flies-there-isn-t/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c4/groucho-marx-788_crazy_dig-trenches-with-our-men-being-killed-o_851273.jpg)

> [Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/why-was-i-with-her-she-reminds-me-of-you-in-fact-she-reminds-me-more/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/834/groucho-marx-788_crazy_why-was-i-with-her-she-reminds-me-of-you_520604.jpg)

> [ \[Mrs. Teasdale\]: He's had a change of heart. \[Groucho\]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/mrs-teasdale-he-s-had-a-change-of-heart-groucho-a-lot-of-good-that-ll/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/311/groucho-marx-788_change_mrs-teasdale-he-s-had-a-change-of-heart_1235981.jpg)

> [I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/i-know-i-know-you-re-a-woman-who-s-had-a-lot-of-tough-breaks-well-we/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/332/groucho-marx-788_all-night_i-know-i-know-you-re-a-woman-who-s-had-a_2178726.jpg)

> [ \[He\] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/he-may-talk-like-an-idiot-and-look-like-an-idiot-but-don-t-let-that/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f1/groucho-marx-788_1930s_he-may-talk-like-an-idiot-and-look-like_1140430.jpg)

> [Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/many-years-ago-i-chased-a-woman-for-almost-two-years-only-to-discover/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d2/groucho-marx-788_chased_many-years-ago-i-chased-a-woman-for-almo_396977.jpg)

## Other authors on Crazy

## More by Groucho Marx

> [No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/no-one-is-completely-unhappy-at-the-failure-of-his-best-friend/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/there-is-no-sweeter-sound-than-the-crumbling-of-one-s-fellow-man/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/television-is-where-you-watch-people-in-your-living-room-that-you/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [ He \[Groucho's father\] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-training-and-if-you-had-ever/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [Women should be obscene and not heard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/women-should-be-obscene-and-not-heard/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/why-would-i-want-to-join-an-organization-that-would-encourage-people/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/you-re-the-most-beautiful-woman-i-ve-ever-seen-and-that-s-not-saying/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/the-only-game-i-like-to-play-is-old-maid-providing-she-s-not-too-old/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/who-are-you-going-to-believe-me-or-your-own-eyes/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/my-favourite-poem-is-the-one-that-starts-thirty-days-hath-september/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [Afraid? Me? A man who's licked his weight in wild caterpillars?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/afraid-me-a-man-who-s-licked-his-weight-in-wild-caterpillars/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [I hate London when it's not raining.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/i-hate-london-when-it-s-not-raining/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/i-never-forget-a-face-but-in-your-case-i-ll-be-glad-to-make-an/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/let-there-be-dancing-in-the-streets-drinking-in-the-saloons-and/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

> [If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/if-women-dressed-for-men-the-stores-wouldn-t-sell-much-just-an/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

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