--- title: "11 Crazy Quotes By Bill Maher" description: "11 Crazy quotes by Bill Maher. Plus more from Bill Maher and more Crazy sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1dd/bill-maher-211_conspiracy_there-are-people-who-think-everything-is_2528342.png" --- > [There are people who think everything is a conspiracy and I think they're crazy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/there-are-people-who-think-everything-is-a-conspiracy-and-i-think/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1dd/bill-maher-211_conspiracy_there-are-people-who-think-everything-is_2528342.png) > [In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/in-the-republican-party-crazy-is-a-constituency/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/292/bill-maher-211_crazy_in-the-republican-party-crazy-is-a-const_1394856.png) > [Don't say a woman is crazy just because she runs away from her wedding.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/don-t-say-a-woman-is-crazy-just-because-she-runs-away-from-her-wedding/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/45a/bill-maher-211_crazy_don-t-say-a-woman-is-crazy-just-because_1018364.png) > [If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/if-you-have-a-few-hundred-followers-and-you-let-some-of-them-molest/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5f/bill-maher-211_atheism_if-you-have-a-few-hundred-followers-and_79167.png) > [Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/here-s-the-thing-about-donald-trump-he-never-apologizes-he-s-never/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b8f/bill-maher-211_apologizing_here-s-the-thing-about-donald-trump-he-n_538425.png) > [Dealing w/ Hamas is like dealing w/ a crazy woman who’s trying to kill u – u can only hold her wrists…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/dealing-w-hamas-is-like-dealing-w-a-crazy-woman-who-s-trying-to-kill/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a6/bill-maher-211_crazy_dealing-w-hamas-is-like-dealing-w-a-craz_2379809.png) > [The NRA made an ad saying that Obama is elitist because his kids have armed guards. Yeah, that crazy Obama thinking his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/the-nra-made-an-ad-saying-that-obama-is-elitist-because-his-kids-have/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a00/bill-maher-211_accusing_the-nra-made-an-ad-saying-that-obama-is_1359909.jpg) > [The difference, I think, that matters is which of the religions are dangerous. They're all crazy, but which ones have the potential…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/the-difference-i-think-that-matters-is-which-of-the-religions-are/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/986/bill-maher-211_areas_the-difference-i-think-that-matters-is-w_1863786.png) > [North Carolina right now is going apeshit in a way no state ever has. Take every crazy, angry idea your drunk, right-wing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/north-carolina-right-now-is-going-apeshit-in-a-way-no-state-ever-has/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/56b/bill-maher-211_angry_north-carolina-right-now-is-going-apeshi_1221394.png) > [Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/religion-it-stops-people-from-thinking-because-they-think-all-the/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/007/bill-maher-211_answers_religion-it-stops-people-from-thinking-b_516333.jpg) > [You're either a rationalist, or you're not. And the good news is a recent poll found 20% of adults under 30 say…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/you-re-either-a-rationalist-or-you-re-not-and-the-good-news-is-a/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fe/bill-maher-211_adults_you-re-either-a-rationalist-or-you-re-no_2441144.jpg) ## Other authors on Crazy ## More by Bill Maher > [A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/a-lot-of-people-say-they-are-dyslexic-some-have-to-realize-that-they/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/i-saw-this-anti-drug-commercial-that-showed-a-kid-smoking-pot-in-his/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/to-all-conservative-women-out-there-if-you-are-so-sure-the-embryo/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/curious-people-are-intersting-people-i-wonder-why-that-is/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/you-see-the-difference-is-the-republicans-hatred-of-obama-is-based-on/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [The food is out of this world!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/the-food-is-out-of-this-world/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/new-rule-there-is-no-devil-so-stop-blaming-your-screw-ups-on-him-last/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/if-we-were-a-dog-and-god-owned-us-the-cops-would-come-and-take-us-away/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/new-rule-the-white-house-doesn-t-have-to-release-the-dead-bin-laden/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [I think religion is bad and drugs are good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/i-think-religion-is-bad-and-drugs-are-good/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/i-don-t-hate-america-i-love-america-i-want-it-to-be-better-the-only/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/new-rule-americans-must-realize-what-makes-nfl-football-so-great/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [So many kids are fat drug addicts these days, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/so-many-kids-are-fat-drug-addicts-these-days-it-s-almost-as-if-rush/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/what-we-don-t-know-is-about-jeb-bush-and-cocaine-but-we-do-know-that/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [“I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/i-find-that-the-world-is-changing-much-much-faster-than-i-can-even/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/crazy/bill-maher/#itemlist", "name": "11 Crazy Quotes By Bill Maher", "numberOfItems": 11, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "There are people who think everything is a conspiracy and I think they're crazy.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/there-are-people-who-think-everything-is-a-conspiracy-and-i-think/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1dd/bill-maher-211_conspiracy_there-are-people-who-think-everything-is_2528342.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1dd/bill-maher-211_conspiracy_there-are-people-who-think-everything-is_2528342.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1dd/bill-maher-211_conspiracy_there-are-people-who-think-everything-is_2528342.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“There are people who think everything is a conspiracy and I think they're crazy.” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/in-the-republican-party-crazy-is-a-constituency/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/292/bill-maher-211_crazy_in-the-republican-party-crazy-is-a-const_1394856.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/292/bill-maher-211_crazy_in-the-republican-party-crazy-is-a-const_1394856.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/292/bill-maher-211_crazy_in-the-republican-party-crazy-is-a-const_1394856.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Don't say a woman is crazy just because she runs away from her wedding.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/don-t-say-a-woman-is-crazy-just-because-she-runs-away-from-her-wedding/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/45a/bill-maher-211_crazy_don-t-say-a-woman-is-crazy-just-because_1018364.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/45a/bill-maher-211_crazy_don-t-say-a-woman-is-crazy-just-because_1018364.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/45a/bill-maher-211_crazy_don-t-say-a-woman-is-crazy-just-because_1018364.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Don't say a woman is crazy just because she runs away from her wedding.” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. 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He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/here-s-the-thing-about-donald-trump-he-never-apologizes-he-s-never/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b8f/bill-maher-211_apologizing_here-s-the-thing-about-donald-trump-he-n_538425.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b8f/bill-maher-211_apologizing_here-s-the-thing-about-donald-trump-he-n_538425.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b8f/bill-maher-211_apologizing_here-s-the-thing-about-donald-trump-he-n_538425.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. 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Yeah, that crazy Obama thinking his kids need special protection. I love the NRA accusing anyone of being paranoid. It's like a septic tank saying, 'You need a mint.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/the-nra-made-an-ad-saying-that-obama-is-elitist-because-his-kids-have/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a00/bill-maher-211_accusing_the-nra-made-an-ad-saying-that-obama-is_1359909.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a00/bill-maher-211_accusing_the-nra-made-an-ad-saying-that-obama-is_1359909.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a00/bill-maher-211_accusing_the-nra-made-an-ad-saying-that-obama-is_1359909.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The NRA made an ad saying that Obama is elitist because his kids have armed guards. 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In that area, I think we have to worry the most about the Muslims and the Christians", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/the-difference-i-think-that-matters-is-which-of-the-religions-are/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/986/bill-maher-211_areas_the-difference-i-think-that-matters-is-w_1863786.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/986/bill-maher-211_areas_the-difference-i-think-that-matters-is-w_1863786.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/986/bill-maher-211_areas_the-difference-i-think-that-matters-is-w_1863786.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The difference, I think, that matters is which of the religions are dangerous. They're all crazy, but which…” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "North Carolina right now is going apeshit in a way no state ever has. Take every crazy, angry idea your drunk, right-wing uncle mumbles at Thanksgiving, turn it into a law, and that’s North Carolina today.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/north-carolina-right-now-is-going-apeshit-in-a-way-no-state-ever-has/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/56b/bill-maher-211_angry_north-carolina-right-now-is-going-apeshi_1221394.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/56b/bill-maher-211_angry_north-carolina-right-now-is-going-apeshi_1221394.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/56b/bill-maher-211_angry_north-carolina-right-now-is-going-apeshi_1221394.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“North Carolina right now is going apeshit in a way no state ever has. Take every crazy, angry idea your…” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/religion-it-stops-people-from-thinking-because-they-think-all-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/007/bill-maher-211_answers_religion-it-stops-people-from-thinking-b_516333.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/007/bill-maher-211_answers_religion-it-stops-people-from-thinking-b_516333.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/007/bill-maher-211_answers_religion-it-stops-people-from-thinking-b_516333.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes…” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You're either a rationalist, or you're not. And the good news is a recent poll found 20% of adults under 30 say they are rationalists, and have figured out that Santa Claus and Jesus are really the same guy. Now, 20% is hardly a majority. But it's a bigger minority than blacks, jews, homosexuals, NRA members, teachers, or seniors... and it's certainly enough to stop being shy about expressing the opinion that we're not the crazy ones!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/you-re-either-a-rationalist-or-you-re-not-and-the-good-news-is-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fe/bill-maher-211_adults_you-re-either-a-rationalist-or-you-re-no_2441144.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fe/bill-maher-211_adults_you-re-either-a-rationalist-or-you-re-no_2441144.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fe/bill-maher-211_adults_you-re-either-a-rationalist-or-you-re-no_2441144.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You're either a rationalist, or you're not. 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