--- title: "4 Conspiracy Quotes By P. J. O'Rourke" description: "4 Conspiracy quotes by P. J. O'Rourke. Plus more from P. J. O'Rourke and more Conspiracy sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/497/p-j-o-rourke-184_about_something-that-confirms-all-fears-and-ma_1107463.png" --- > [Something that confirms all fears and many conspiracy theories about government is finding out what our elected representatives would put into law…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/something-that-confirms-all-fears-and-many-conspiracy-theories-about/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/497/p-j-o-rourke-184_about_something-that-confirms-all-fears-and-ma_1107463.png) > [The forces of safety are afoot in the land. I, for one, believe it is a conspiracy - a conspiracy of Safety…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/the-forces-of-safety-are-afoot-in-the-land-i-for-one-believe-it-is-a/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/046/p-j-o-rourke-184_believe_the-forces-of-safety-are-afoot-in-the-la_1254265.jpg) > [Government conspiracy? They can't even deliver our mail and it's got our address on it and everything!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/government-conspiracy-they-can-t-even-deliver-our-mail-and-it-s-got/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/064/p-j-o-rourke-184_addresses_government-conspiracy-they-can-t-even-de_2142367.png) > [Political systems must love poverty-they produce so much of it. Poor people make easier targets for a demagogue. No Mao or even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/political-systems-must-love-poverty-they-produce-so-much-of-it-poor/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c54/p-j-o-rourke-184_arise_political-systems-must-love-poverty-they_2998738.jpg) ## Other authors on Conspiracy - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b003/author-aaron-russo-8709.jpg) Vincent Bugliosi 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conspiracy/vincent-bugliosi/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b008/author-edward-livingston-31867.jpg) Tomas Adam Nyapi 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conspiracy/tomas-adam-nyapi/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b024/author-umberto-eco-92726.jpg) Umberto Eco 7 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conspiracy/umberto-eco/) - [Ralph Waldo Emerson 7 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conspiracy/ralph-waldo-emerson/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b025/author-woodrow-wilson-96331.jpg) Woodrow Wilson 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conspiracy/woodrow-wilson/) - [Thomas M. Nichols 6 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conspiracy/thomas-m-nichols/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b020/author-robert-anton-wilson-79494.jpg) Robert Anton Wilson 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conspiracy/robert-anton-wilson/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b007/author-david-rockefeller-27896.jpg) David Rockefeller 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conspiracy/david-rockefeller/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b025/author-winston-churchill-96197.jpg) Winston Churchill 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conspiracy/winston-churchill/) ## More by P. J. O'Rourke > [I'm fascinated by political enthusiasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/i-m-fascinated-by-political-enthusiasm/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/in-comparative-terms-there-s-no-poverty-in-america-by-a-long-shot/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/the-democrats-said-we-don-t-know-what-s-wrong-with-america-but-we-can/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/at-epcot-center-the-disney-corporation-has-focused-its-attention-on/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/so-called-western-civilization-as-practised-in-half-of-europe-some-of/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/my-whole-family-can-talk-they-are-all-car-salesmen-they-are-all-funny/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/it-was-ronald-reagan-who-used-to-say-that-the-10-most-frightening/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/gun-violence-has-cost-us-too-many-political-leaders-and-hardly-ever/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/pete-seeger-is-a-modest-unassuming-cheerful-and-kind-natured-man-he-s/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/journalists-are-notoriously-easy-to-kid-all-you-have-to-do-is-speak/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/i-like-to-think-of-my-behavior-in-the-sixties-as-a-learning/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/i-ll-be-56-this-year-i-ve-got-two-kids-and-i-think-it-s-probably-time/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [Something that comes to us, some gym shoe that comes to us as a result of child labor from a brutal dictatorship, where people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/something-that-comes-to-us-some-gym-shoe-that-comes-to-us-as-a-result/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/russians-not-only-vehemently-despise-blacks-they-believe-africa/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [Now, do I think the baby boomers tend to be self-absorbed? I do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/now-do-i-think-the-baby-boomers-tend-to-be-self-absorbed-i-do/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conspiracy/p-j-o-rourke/#itemlist", "name": "4 Conspiracy Quotes By P. J. O'Rourke", "numberOfItems": 4, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Something that confirms all fears and many conspiracy theories about government is finding out what our elected representatives would put into law if they could.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. J. O'Rourke" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/something-that-confirms-all-fears-and-many-conspiracy-theories-about/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/497/p-j-o-rourke-184_about_something-that-confirms-all-fears-and-ma_1107463.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/497/p-j-o-rourke-184_about_something-that-confirms-all-fears-and-ma_1107463.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/497/p-j-o-rourke-184_about_something-that-confirms-all-fears-and-ma_1107463.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Something that confirms all fears and many conspiracy theories about government is finding out what our…” — P. J. O'Rourke", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The forces of safety are afoot in the land. I, for one, believe it is a conspiracy - a conspiracy of Safety Nazis shouting \"Sieg Health\" and seeking to trammel freedom, liberty, and large noisy parties. The Safety Nazis advocate gun control, vigorous exercise, and health foods. The result can only be a disarmed, exhausted, and half-starved population ready to acquiesce to dictatorship of some kind.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. J. O'Rourke" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/the-forces-of-safety-are-afoot-in-the-land-i-for-one-believe-it-is-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/046/p-j-o-rourke-184_believe_the-forces-of-safety-are-afoot-in-the-la_1254265.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/046/p-j-o-rourke-184_believe_the-forces-of-safety-are-afoot-in-the-la_1254265.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/046/p-j-o-rourke-184_believe_the-forces-of-safety-are-afoot-in-the-la_1254265.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The forces of safety are afoot in the land. I, for one, believe it is a conspiracy - a conspiracy of Safety…” — P. J. O'Rourke", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Government conspiracy? They can't even deliver our mail and it's got our address on it and everything!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. J. O'Rourke" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/government-conspiracy-they-can-t-even-deliver-our-mail-and-it-s-got/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/064/p-j-o-rourke-184_addresses_government-conspiracy-they-can-t-even-de_2142367.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/064/p-j-o-rourke-184_addresses_government-conspiracy-they-can-t-even-de_2142367.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/064/p-j-o-rourke-184_addresses_government-conspiracy-they-can-t-even-de_2142367.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Government conspiracy? They can't even deliver our mail and it's got our address on it and everything!” — P. J. O'Rourke", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Political systems must love poverty-they produce so much of it. Poor people make easier targets for a demagogue. No Mao or even Jiang Zemin is likely to arise on the New York Stock Exchange floor. And politicians in democracies benefit from destitution, too. The US has had a broad range of poverty programs for 30 years. Those programs have failed. Millions of people are still poor. And those people vote for politicians who favor keeping the poverty programs in place. There's a conspiracy theory in there somewhere.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P. J. O'Rourke" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/political-systems-must-love-poverty-they-produce-so-much-of-it-poor/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c54/p-j-o-rourke-184_arise_political-systems-must-love-poverty-they_2998738.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c54/p-j-o-rourke-184_arise_political-systems-must-love-poverty-they_2998738.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c54/p-j-o-rourke-184_arise_political-systems-must-love-poverty-they_2998738.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Political systems must love poverty-they produce so much of it. Poor people make easier targets for a…” — P. J. O'Rourke", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conspiracy/p-j-o-rourke/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conspiracy/p-j-o-rourke/", "name": "Conspiracy Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conspiracy/p-j-o-rourke/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/497/p-j-o-rourke-184_about_something-that-confirms-all-fears-and-ma_1107463.png" }, "description": "4 Conspiracy quotes by P. J. O'Rourke. Plus more from P. J. O'Rourke and more Conspiracy sayings from other authors.", "breadcrumb": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conspiracy/p-j-o-rourke/#breadcrumb" } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conspiracy/p-j-o-rourke/#breadcrumb", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Topics", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Conspiracy", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conspiracy/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "name": "P. J. O'Rourke", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conspiracy/p-j-o-rourke/" } ] }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```