--- title: "31 Computers Quotes By Dave Barry" description: "31 Computers quotes by Dave Barry. Plus more from Dave Barry and more Computers sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/960/dave-barry-222_computer_the-word-user-is-the-word-used-by-the-co_2270172.png" --- > [The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-word-user-is-the-word-used-by-the-computer-professional-when-they/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/960/dave-barry-222_computer_the-word-user-is-the-word-used-by-the-co_2270172.png) > [I report as a machine; I write as a person. That clear dichotomy softens the transition.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/i-report-as-a-machine-i-write-as-a-person-that-clear-dichotomy/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a73/dave-barry-222_clear_i-report-as-a-machine-i-write-as-a-perso_2794465.png) > [A computer makes it possible to do, in half an hour, tasks which were completely unnecessary to do before](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/a-computer-makes-it-possible-to-do-in-half-an-hour-tasks-which-were/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/21f/dave-barry-222_computer_a-computer-makes-it-possible-to-do-in-ha_1474326.png) > [Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/sign-at-a-kentucky-appliance-store-don-t-kill-your-wife-let-our/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41d/dave-barry-222_appliances_sign-at-a-kentucky-appliance-store-don-t_644810.png) > [A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/a-program-is-a-spell-cast-over-a-computer-turning-input-into-error/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c51/dave-barry-222_computer_a-program-is-a-spell-cast-over-a-compute_2710828.png) > [People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/people-in-the-computer-industry-use-the-term-user-which-to-them-means/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/344/dave-barry-222_computer_people-in-the-computer-industry-use-the_3085942.png) > [Computers operate on simple principles that can be easily understood by anybody with some common sense, a little imagination, and an IQ…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/computers-operate-on-simple-principles-that-can-be-easily-understood/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/50d/dave-barry-222_common_computers-operate-on-simple-principles-t_2849385.png) > [I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/i-am-not-the-only-person-who-uses-his-computer-mainly-for-the-purpose/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f6/dave-barry-222_computer_i-am-not-the-only-person-who-uses-his-co_3089535.png) > [Hardware: where the people in your company's software section will tell you the problem is. Software: where the people in your company's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/hardware-where-the-people-in-your-company-s-software-section-will/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/493/dave-barry-222_business_hardware-where-the-people-in-your-compan_2313324.png) > [Modern cyberspace is a deadly festering swamp, teeming with dangerous programs such as 'viruses,' 'worms,' 'Trojan horses' and 'licensed Microsoft software' that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/modern-cyberspace-is-a-deadly-festering-swamp-teeming-with-dangerous/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/686/dave-barry-222_computer_modern-cyberspace-is-a-deadly-festering_2515994.png) > [Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/experts-agree-that-the-best-type-of-computer-for-your-individual/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e4/dave-barry-222_agree_experts-agree-that-the-best-type-of-comp_685353.png) > [Back then, the entire Internet consisted of two slow, boxcar-sized UNIVAC computers about 50 feet apart, connected by a wire. It would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/back-then-the-entire-internet-consisted-of-two-slow-boxcar-sized/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dad/dave-barry-222_ads_back-then-the-entire-internet-consisted_1503433.jpg) > [Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/buying-the-right-computer-and-getting-it-to-work-properly-is-no-more/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8d/dave-barry-222_building_buying-the-right-computer-and-getting-it_1734852.png) > [One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/one-day-soon-the-gillette-company-will-announce-the-development-of-a/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fef/dave-barry-222_business_one-day-soon-the-gillette-company-will-a_2367843.png) > [The other major kind of computer is the "Apple," which I do not recommend, because it is a wuss-o-rama New-Age computer you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-other-major-kind-of-computer-is-the-apple-which-i-do-not/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a4/dave-barry-222_age_the-other-major-kind-of-computer-is-the_887909.jpg) > [What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/what-exactly-is-the-internet-basically-it-is-a-global-network/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e43/dave-barry-222_choke_what-exactly-is-the-internet-basically-i_2196393.png) > [Without computers, the government would be unable to function at the level of effectiveness and efficiency that we have come to expect.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/without-computers-the-government-would-be-unable-to-function-at-the/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/201/dave-barry-222_capable_without-computers-the-government-would-b_1029115.jpg) > [The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-internet-is-a-giant-international-network-of-intelligent-informed/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/903/dave-barry-222_brain_the-internet-is-a-giant-international-ne_2199974.jpg) > [Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/several-years-ago-we-had-an-intern-who-was-none-too-swift-one-day-he/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d3b/dave-barry-222_blank_several-years-ago-we-had-an-intern-who-w_1309253.png) > [To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/to-better-understand-why-you-need-a-personal-computer-let-s-take-a/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b5/dave-barry-222_computer_to-better-understand-why-you-need-a-pers_1251700.png) > [There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/there-are-two-distinctive-classes-of-people-today-those-who-have/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/626/dave-barry-222_class_there-are-two-distinctive-classes-of-peo_3062355.png) > [Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/hardware-this-is-the-part-of-the-computer-that-stops-working-when-you/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b80/dave-barry-222_beer_hardware-this-is-the-part-of-the-compute_324721.png) > [My current computer, in addition to 'DOS,' has 'Windows,' which is another invention of Bill Gates, designed as a security measure to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/my-current-computer-in-addition-to-dos-has-windows-which-is-another/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92f/dave-barry-222_able_my-current-computer-in-addition-to-dos-h_2872546.jpg) > [RAM: This gives guys a way of deciding whose computer has the biggest, studliest memory. That's important, because the more memory a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/ram-this-gives-guys-a-way-of-deciding-whose-computer-has-the-biggest/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/779/dave-barry-222_computer_ram-this-gives-guys-a-way-of-deciding-wh_1126781.png) > [Technically, Windows is an "operating system," which means that it supplies your computer with the basic commands that it needs to suddenly,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/technically-windows-is-an-operating-system-which-means-that-it/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c92/dave-barry-222_command_technically-windows-is-an-operating-syst_327012.png) > [Today's toys contain computer chips, so they can move and talk; this stimulates the mind of your child. Notice I say "your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/today-s-toys-contain-computer-chips-so-they-can-move-and-talk-this/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34e/dave-barry-222_baby_today-s-toys-contain-computer-chips-so-t_872017.png) > [And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/and-computers-are-getting-smarter-all-the-time-scientists-tell-us/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/373/dave-barry-222_able_and-computers-are-getting-smarter-all-th_492203.jpg) > [The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-internet-is-a-giant-international-network-of-intelligent-informed-2/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a1/dave-barry-222_care_the-internet-is-a-giant-international-ne_2717271.png) > [In the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear rental shoes and throw the ball for you. Your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/in-the-bowling-alley-of-tomorrow-there-will-even-be-machines-that/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a2/dave-barry-222_alleys_in-the-bowling-alley-of-tomorrow-there-w_2466896.png) > [The Internet "browser"... is the piece of software that puts a message on your computer screen informing you that the Internet is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-internet-browser-is-the-piece-of-software-that-puts-a-message-on/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba7/dave-barry-222_browser_the-internet-browser-is-the-piece-of-sof_2073109.jpg) > [You can use the Internet to find out, from anywhere on the planet: exactly how much coffee is in a certain coffee…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/you-can-use-the-internet-to-find-out-from-anywhere-on-the-planet/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/365/dave-barry-222_available_you-can-use-the-internet-to-find-out-fro_3164712.jpg) ## Other authors on Computers - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b005/author-bill-gates-17911.jpg) Bill Gates 73 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/computers/bill-gates/) - [Jarod Kintz 37 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/computers/jarod-kintz/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-steve-jobs-87290.jpg) Steve Jobs 36 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/computers/steve-jobs/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b008/author-douglas-adams-30413.jpg) Douglas Adams 36 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/computers/douglas-adams/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b015/author-kurt-vonnegut-58049.jpg) Kurt Vonnegut 32 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/computers/kurt-vonnegut/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-steve-wozniak-87432.jpg) Steve Wozniak 29 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/computers/steve-wozniak/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-stephen-hawking-87021.jpg) Stephen Hawking 28 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/computers/stephen-hawking/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b009/author-ellen-ullman-32754.jpg) Ellen Ullman 26 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/computers/ellen-ullman/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-yuval-noah-harari-100.jpg) Yuval Noah Harari 24 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/computers/yuval-noah-harari/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b020/author-richard-dawkins-78503.jpg) Richard Dawkins 24 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/computers/richard-dawkins/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b020/author-ray-kurzweil-77527.jpg) Ray Kurzweil 24 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/computers/ray-kurzweil/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b020/author-ray-dalio-77503.jpg) Ray Dalio 24 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/computers/ray-dalio/) ## More by Dave Barry > [This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/this-is-true-virtually-all-edible-substances-and-many-automotive/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/this-ball-was-so-crowded-that-it-took-me-a-trained-professional/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-hardest-thing-about-being-a-guy-is-that-women-don-t-accept-that/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-ultimate-camping-trip-was-the-lewis-and-clark-expedition/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/although-golf-was-originally-restricted-to-wealthy-overweight/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/entire-new-continent-can-emerge-from-the-ocean-in-the-time-it-takes/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [He was distracted by a giggle, and turned to see a rare sight: a girl.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/he-was-distracted-by-a-giggle-and-turned-to-see-a-rare-sight-a-girl/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-major-parties-could-conduct-live-human-sacrifices-on-their/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/if-you-look-at-any-list-of-great-modern-writers-such-as-ernest/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/don-t-you-wish-you-had-a-job-like-mine-all-you-have-to-do-is-think-up/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/despite-the-gulf-physical-and-cultural-between-the-united-states-and/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/before-going-on-a-diet-you-should-consult-your-doctor-or-at-least/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Never trust anything you read in a travel article.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/never-trust-anything-you-read-in-a-travel-article/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/in-the-old-days-it-was-not-called-the-holiday-season-the-christians/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Always remember that if editors were so damned smart, they would know how to dress.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/always-remember-that-if-editors-were-so-damned-smart-they-would-know/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/computers/dave-barry/#itemlist", "name": "31 Computers Quotes By Dave Barry", "numberOfItems": 31, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-word-user-is-the-word-used-by-the-computer-professional-when-they/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/960/dave-barry-222_computer_the-word-user-is-the-word-used-by-the-co_2270172.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/960/dave-barry-222_computer_the-word-user-is-the-word-used-by-the-co_2270172.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/960/dave-barry-222_computer_the-word-user-is-the-word-used-by-the-co_2270172.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I report as a machine; I write as a person. That clear dichotomy softens the transition.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/i-report-as-a-machine-i-write-as-a-person-that-clear-dichotomy/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a73/dave-barry-222_clear_i-report-as-a-machine-i-write-as-a-perso_2794465.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a73/dave-barry-222_clear_i-report-as-a-machine-i-write-as-a-perso_2794465.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a73/dave-barry-222_clear_i-report-as-a-machine-i-write-as-a-perso_2794465.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I report as a machine; I write as a person. That clear dichotomy softens the transition.” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "A computer makes it possible to do, in half an hour, tasks which were completely unnecessary to do before", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/a-computer-makes-it-possible-to-do-in-half-an-hour-tasks-which-were/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/21f/dave-barry-222_computer_a-computer-makes-it-possible-to-do-in-ha_1474326.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/21f/dave-barry-222_computer_a-computer-makes-it-possible-to-do-in-ha_1474326.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/21f/dave-barry-222_computer_a-computer-makes-it-possible-to-do-in-ha_1474326.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“A computer makes it possible to do, in half an hour, tasks which were completely unnecessary to do before” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/sign-at-a-kentucky-appliance-store-don-t-kill-your-wife-let-our/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41d/dave-barry-222_appliances_sign-at-a-kentucky-appliance-store-don-t_644810.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41d/dave-barry-222_appliances_sign-at-a-kentucky-appliance-store-don-t_644810.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41d/dave-barry-222_appliances_sign-at-a-kentucky-appliance-store-don-t_644810.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/a-program-is-a-spell-cast-over-a-computer-turning-input-into-error/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c51/dave-barry-222_computer_a-program-is-a-spell-cast-over-a-compute_2710828.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c51/dave-barry-222_computer_a-program-is-a-spell-cast-over-a-compute_2710828.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c51/dave-barry-222_computer_a-program-is-a-spell-cast-over-a-compute_2710828.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/people-in-the-computer-industry-use-the-term-user-which-to-them-means/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/344/dave-barry-222_computer_people-in-the-computer-industry-use-the_3085942.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/344/dave-barry-222_computer_people-in-the-computer-industry-use-the_3085942.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/344/dave-barry-222_computer_people-in-the-computer-industry-use-the_3085942.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Computers operate on simple principles that can be easily understood by anybody with some common sense, a little imagination, and an IQ of 750.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/computers-operate-on-simple-principles-that-can-be-easily-understood/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/50d/dave-barry-222_common_computers-operate-on-simple-principles-t_2849385.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/50d/dave-barry-222_common_computers-operate-on-simple-principles-t_2849385.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/50d/dave-barry-222_common_computers-operate-on-simple-principles-t_2849385.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Computers operate on simple principles that can be easily understood by anybody with some common sense, a…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/i-am-not-the-only-person-who-uses-his-computer-mainly-for-the-purpose/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f6/dave-barry-222_computer_i-am-not-the-only-person-who-uses-his-co_3089535.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f6/dave-barry-222_computer_i-am-not-the-only-person-who-uses-his-co_3089535.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f6/dave-barry-222_computer_i-am-not-the-only-person-who-uses-his-co_3089535.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Hardware: where the people in your company's software section will tell you the problem is. Software: where the people in your company's hardware section will tell you the problem is.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/hardware-where-the-people-in-your-company-s-software-section-will/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/493/dave-barry-222_business_hardware-where-the-people-in-your-compan_2313324.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/493/dave-barry-222_business_hardware-where-the-people-in-your-compan_2313324.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/493/dave-barry-222_business_hardware-where-the-people-in-your-compan_2313324.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Hardware: where the people in your company's software section will tell you the problem is. Software: where…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Modern cyberspace is a deadly festering swamp, teeming with dangerous programs such as 'viruses,' 'worms,' 'Trojan horses' and 'licensed Microsoft software' that can take over your computer and render it useless.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/modern-cyberspace-is-a-deadly-festering-swamp-teeming-with-dangerous/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/686/dave-barry-222_computer_modern-cyberspace-is-a-deadly-festering_2515994.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/686/dave-barry-222_computer_modern-cyberspace-is-a-deadly-festering_2515994.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/686/dave-barry-222_computer_modern-cyberspace-is-a-deadly-festering_2515994.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Modern cyberspace is a deadly festering swamp, teeming with dangerous programs such as 'viruses,' 'worms,'…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/experts-agree-that-the-best-type-of-computer-for-your-individual/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e4/dave-barry-222_agree_experts-agree-that-the-best-type-of-comp_685353.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e4/dave-barry-222_agree_experts-agree-that-the-best-type-of-comp_685353.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e4/dave-barry-222_agree_experts-agree-that-the-best-type-of-comp_685353.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Back then, the entire Internet consisted of two slow, boxcar-sized UNIVAC computers about 50 feet apart, connected by a wire. It would take one of these computers an entire day to send an email to the other one, which would immediately delete it, because it was a Viagra ad.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/back-then-the-entire-internet-consisted-of-two-slow-boxcar-sized/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dad/dave-barry-222_ads_back-then-the-entire-internet-consisted_1503433.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dad/dave-barry-222_ads_back-then-the-entire-internet-consisted_1503433.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dad/dave-barry-222_ads_back-then-the-entire-internet-consisted_1503433.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Back then, the entire Internet consisted of two slow, boxcar-sized UNIVAC computers about 50 feet apart…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/buying-the-right-computer-and-getting-it-to-work-properly-is-no-more/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8d/dave-barry-222_building_buying-the-right-computer-and-getting-it_1734852.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8d/dave-barry-222_building_buying-the-right-computer-and-getting-it_1734852.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8d/dave-barry-222_building_buying-the-right-computer-and-getting-it_1734852.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/one-day-soon-the-gillette-company-will-announce-the-development-of-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fef/dave-barry-222_business_one-day-soon-the-gillette-company-will-a_2367843.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fef/dave-barry-222_business_one-day-soon-the-gillette-company-will-a_2367843.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fef/dave-barry-222_business_one-day-soon-the-gillette-company-will-a_2367843.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The other major kind of computer is the \"Apple,\" which I do not recommend, because it is a wuss-o-rama New-Age computer you basically just plug in and use.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-other-major-kind-of-computer-is-the-apple-which-i-do-not/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a4/dave-barry-222_age_the-other-major-kind-of-computer-is-the_887909.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a4/dave-barry-222_age_the-other-major-kind-of-computer-is-the_887909.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a4/dave-barry-222_age_the-other-major-kind-of-computer-is-the_887909.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The other major kind of computer is the \"Apple,\" which I do not recommend, because it is a wuss-o-rama…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/what-exactly-is-the-internet-basically-it-is-a-global-network/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e43/dave-barry-222_choke_what-exactly-is-the-internet-basically-i_2196393.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e43/dave-barry-222_choke_what-exactly-is-the-internet-basically-i_2196393.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e43/dave-barry-222_choke_what-exactly-is-the-internet-basically-i_2196393.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 17, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Without computers, the government would be unable to function at the level of effectiveness and efficiency that we have come to expect. . . . Today's government uses computers which are capable of cranking out millions of documents per day without any regard whatsoever for their content, thereby freeing government employees for more important responsibilities, such as not answering their phones.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/without-computers-the-government-would-be-unable-to-function-at-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/201/dave-barry-222_capable_without-computers-the-government-would-b_1029115.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/201/dave-barry-222_capable_without-computers-the-government-would-b_1029115.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/201/dave-barry-222_capable_without-computers-the-government-would-b_1029115.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Without computers, the government would be unable to function at the level of effectiveness and efficiency…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 18, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, \"people without lives.\" We don't care. We have each other… While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most settings, uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our \"CONFIG.SYS.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-internet-is-a-giant-international-network-of-intelligent-informed/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/903/dave-barry-222_brain_the-internet-is-a-giant-international-ne_2199974.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/903/dave-barry-222_brain_the-internet-is-a-giant-international-ne_2199974.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/903/dave-barry-222_brain_the-internet-is-a-giant-international-ne_2199974.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 19, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, \"I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?\" \"Just use copier machine paper,\" she told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/several-years-ago-we-had-an-intern-who-was-none-too-swift-one-day-he/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d3b/dave-barry-222_blank_several-years-ago-we-had-an-intern-who-w_1309253.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d3b/dave-barry-222_blank_several-years-ago-we-had-an-intern-who-w_1309253.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d3b/dave-barry-222_blank_several-years-ago-we-had-an-intern-who-w_1309253.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 20, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/to-better-understand-why-you-need-a-personal-computer-let-s-take-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b5/dave-barry-222_computer_to-better-understand-why-you-need-a-pers_1251700.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b5/dave-barry-222_computer_to-better-understand-why-you-need-a-pers_1251700.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b5/dave-barry-222_computer_to-better-understand-why-you-need-a-pers_1251700.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 21, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/there-are-two-distinctive-classes-of-people-today-those-who-have/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/626/dave-barry-222_class_there-are-two-distinctive-classes-of-peo_3062355.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/626/dave-barry-222_class_there-are-two-distinctive-classes-of-peo_3062355.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/626/dave-barry-222_class_there-are-two-distinctive-classes-of-peo_3062355.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 22, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/hardware-this-is-the-part-of-the-computer-that-stops-working-when-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b80/dave-barry-222_beer_hardware-this-is-the-part-of-the-compute_324721.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b80/dave-barry-222_beer_hardware-this-is-the-part-of-the-compute_324721.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b80/dave-barry-222_beer_hardware-this-is-the-part-of-the-compute_324721.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 23, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "My current computer, in addition to 'DOS,' has 'Windows,' which is another invention of Bill Gates, designed as a security measure to thwart those users who are somehow able to get past DOS.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/my-current-computer-in-addition-to-dos-has-windows-which-is-another/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92f/dave-barry-222_able_my-current-computer-in-addition-to-dos-h_2872546.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92f/dave-barry-222_able_my-current-computer-in-addition-to-dos-h_2872546.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92f/dave-barry-222_able_my-current-computer-in-addition-to-dos-h_2872546.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My current computer, in addition to 'DOS,' has 'Windows,' which is another invention of Bill Gates, designed…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 24, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "RAM: This gives guys a way of deciding whose computer has the biggest, studliest memory. That's important, because the more memory a computer has, the faster it can produce error messages.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/ram-this-gives-guys-a-way-of-deciding-whose-computer-has-the-biggest/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/779/dave-barry-222_computer_ram-this-gives-guys-a-way-of-deciding-wh_1126781.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/779/dave-barry-222_computer_ram-this-gives-guys-a-way-of-deciding-wh_1126781.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/779/dave-barry-222_computer_ram-this-gives-guys-a-way-of-deciding-wh_1126781.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“RAM: This gives guys a way of deciding whose computer has the biggest, studliest memory. That's important…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 25, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Technically, Windows is an \"operating system,\" which means that it supplies your computer with the basic commands that it needs to suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, stop operating.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/technically-windows-is-an-operating-system-which-means-that-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c92/dave-barry-222_command_technically-windows-is-an-operating-syst_327012.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c92/dave-barry-222_command_technically-windows-is-an-operating-syst_327012.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c92/dave-barry-222_command_technically-windows-is-an-operating-syst_327012.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Technically, Windows is an \"operating system,\" which means that it supplies your computer with the basic…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 26, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Today's toys contain computer chips, so they can move and talk; this stimulates the mind of your child. Notice I say \"your child.\" MY child just wants to eat the toys.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/today-s-toys-contain-computer-chips-so-they-can-move-and-talk-this/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34e/dave-barry-222_baby_today-s-toys-contain-computer-chips-so-t_872017.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34e/dave-barry-222_baby_today-s-toys-contain-computer-chips-so-t_872017.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34e/dave-barry-222_baby_today-s-toys-contain-computer-chips-so-t_872017.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Today's toys contain computer chips, so they can move and talk; this stimulates the mind of your child…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 27, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/and-computers-are-getting-smarter-all-the-time-scientists-tell-us/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/373/dave-barry-222_able_and-computers-are-getting-smarter-all-th_492203.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/373/dave-barry-222_able_and-computers-are-getting-smarter-all-th_492203.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/373/dave-barry-222_able_and-computers-are-getting-smarter-all-th_492203.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 28, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, \"people without lives.\" We don't care. We have each other...", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-internet-is-a-giant-international-network-of-intelligent-informed-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a1/dave-barry-222_care_the-internet-is-a-giant-international-ne_2717271.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a1/dave-barry-222_care_the-internet-is-a-giant-international-ne_2717271.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a1/dave-barry-222_care_the-internet-is-a-giant-international-ne_2717271.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 29, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "In the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear rental shoes and throw the ball for you. Your sole function will be to drink beer.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/in-the-bowling-alley-of-tomorrow-there-will-even-be-machines-that/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a2/dave-barry-222_alleys_in-the-bowling-alley-of-tomorrow-there-w_2466896.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a2/dave-barry-222_alleys_in-the-bowling-alley-of-tomorrow-there-w_2466896.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a2/dave-barry-222_alleys_in-the-bowling-alley-of-tomorrow-there-w_2466896.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“In the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear rental shoes and throw the ball for…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 30, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The Internet \"browser\"... is the piece of software that puts a message on your computer screen informing you that the Internet is currently busy and you should try again later.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-internet-browser-is-the-piece-of-software-that-puts-a-message-on/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba7/dave-barry-222_browser_the-internet-browser-is-the-piece-of-sof_2073109.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba7/dave-barry-222_browser_the-internet-browser-is-the-piece-of-sof_2073109.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba7/dave-barry-222_browser_the-internet-browser-is-the-piece-of-sof_2073109.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The Internet \"browser\"... is the piece of software that puts a message on your computer screen informing you…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 31, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You can use the Internet to find out, from anywhere on the planet: exactly how much coffee is in a certain coffee machine at Cambridge University in England; exactly how many sodas are available in certain vending machines at certain major universities; and much, much more.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/you-can-use-the-internet-to-find-out-from-anywhere-on-the-planet/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/365/dave-barry-222_available_you-can-use-the-internet-to-find-out-fro_3164712.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/365/dave-barry-222_available_you-can-use-the-internet-to-find-out-fro_3164712.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/365/dave-barry-222_available_you-can-use-the-internet-to-find-out-fro_3164712.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You can use the Internet to find out, from anywhere on the planet: exactly how much coffee is in a certain…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/computers/dave-barry/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/computers/dave-barry/", "name": "Computers Quotes by Dave Barry", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/computers/dave-barry/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/960/dave-barry-222_computer_the-word-user-is-the-word-used-by-the-co_2270172.png" }, "description": "31 Computers quotes by Dave Barry. 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