--- title: "21 Comedy Quotes By Steven Wright" description: "21 Comedy quotes by Steven Wright. Plus more from Steven Wright and more Comedy sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/adf/steven-wright-432_astronaut_like-other-kids-wanted-to-become-firemen_2675517.jpg" --- > [Like other kids wanted to become firemen or astronauts, I wanted to make people laugh.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/like-other-kids-wanted-to-become-firemen-or-astronauts-i-wanted-to/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/adf/steven-wright-432_astronaut_like-other-kids-wanted-to-become-firemen_2675517.jpg) > [I laugh all the time - at things, people, stuff, whatever. But, I don't laugh onstage because then it's serious business.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-laugh-all-the-time-at-things-people-stuff-whatever-but-i-don-t/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/118/steven-wright-432_business_i-laugh-all-the-time-at-things-people-st_2466925.jpg) > [I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-feel-lucky-that-i-can-have-people-laugh-solidly-for-a-whole-hour-by/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5e/steven-wright-432_comedy_i-feel-lucky-that-i-can-have-people-laug_2721295.jpg) > [I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-have-a-paper-cut-from-writing-my-suicide-note-it-s-a-start/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d8d/steven-wright-432_comedy_i-have-a-paper-cut-from-writing-my-suici_2345949.jpg) > [I didn't want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-up.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-didn-t-want-to-be-selling-insurance-at-40-wondering-what-would-it/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/418/steven-wright-432_insurance_i-didn-t-want-to-be-selling-insurance-at_1874759.jpg) > [Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/only-one-in-four-jokes-ever-works-and-i-still-can-t-predict-what/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58f/steven-wright-432_comedy_only-one-in-four-jokes-ever-works-and-i_2403711.jpg) > [I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-don-t-get-up-get-dressed-go-out-and-think-okay-i-gotta-find-eight/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/83e/steven-wright-432_comedy_i-don-t-get-up-get-dressed-go-out-and-th_3204332.jpg) > [To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/to-me-comedy-is-just-twisting-reality-it-s-commenting-or-observing-or/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8b/steven-wright-432_comedy_to-me-comedy-is-just-twisting-reality-it_2536535.jpg) > [I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-paint-i-draw-and-paint-i-ve-been-doing-that-since-i-was-in-third/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/03e/steven-wright-432_abstract_i-paint-i-draw-and-paint-i-ve-been-doing_2734014.jpg) > [I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That's still…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-was-born-when-i-was-23-i-started-telling-jokes-then-i-started-going/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df4/steven-wright-432_born_i-was-born-when-i-was-23-i-started-telli_380481.jpg) > [You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/you-know-those-things-that-you-throw-the-twigs-into-and-it-spits-them/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/293/steven-wright-432_branches_you-know-those-things-that-you-throw-the_2548993.jpg) > [What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/what-i-like-about-the-jokes-to-me-it-s-a-lot-of-logic-no-matter-how/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fe8/steven-wright-432_comedy_what-i-like-about-the-jokes-to-me-it-s-a_199069.jpg) > [Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for money.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/good-jokes-are-gems-a-good-idea-is-hard-to-come-by-i-couldn-t-give/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0aa/steven-wright-432_come_good-jokes-are-gems-a-good-idea-is-hard_653841.jpg) > [Comedians are sociologists. We're pointing out stuff that the general public doesn't even stop to think about, looking at life in slow-motion…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/comedians-are-sociologists-we-re-pointing-out-stuff-that-the-general/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/500/steven-wright-432_comedian_comedians-are-sociologists-we-re-pointin_2661560.jpg) > [I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-recently-went-to-the-hardware-store-and-i-bought-some-used-paint-it/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddf/steven-wright-432_batteries_i-recently-went-to-the-hardware-store-an_1674690.jpg) > [I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-ve-been-doing-comedy-longer-than-i-haven-t-been-doing-comedy-as-i/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c2/steven-wright-432_casual_i-ve-been-doing-comedy-longer-than-i-hav_593547.jpg) > [It's very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten seconds. My thing is to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/it-s-very-interesting-the-joke-comes-first-and-then-the-wording-comes/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d0/steven-wright-432_comedy_it-s-very-interesting-the-joke-comes-fir_2785194.jpg) > [I never even thought of myself as deadpan until someone wrote an article about me about a year after I was doing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-never-even-thought-of-myself-as-deadpan-until-someone-wrote-an/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/178/steven-wright-432_articles_i-never-even-thought-of-myself-as-deadpa_478652.jpg) > [The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/the-stones-i-love-the-stones-i-watch-them-whenever-i-can-fred-barney/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/200/steven-wright-432_comedy_the-stones-i-love-the-stones-i-watch-the_1907683.jpg) > [Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/doing-stand-up-is-like-running-across-a-frozen-pond-with-the-ice/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d1/steven-wright-432_behind-you_doing-stand-up-is-like-running-across-a_2506242.jpg) > [I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-m-standing-behind-a-wall-of-jokes-you-don-t-know-about-my-personal/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/79a/steven-wright-432_anything_i-m-standing-behind-a-wall-of-jokes-you_635334.jpg) ## Other authors on Comedy - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b013/author-jim-gaffigan-49756.jpg) Jim Gaffigan 93 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/jim-gaffigan/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b006/author-chris-rock-23583.jpg) Chris Rock 58 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/chris-rock/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b005/author-bo-burnham-18480.jpg) Bo Burnham 56 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/bo-burnham/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b008/author-demetri-martin-28579.jpg) Demetri Martin 54 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/demetri-martin/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b005/author-bob-newhart-18652.jpg) Bob Newhart 54 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/bob-newhart/) - [Mark Twain 51 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/mark-twain/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b017/author-mike-birbiglia-67912.jpg) Mike Birbiglia 50 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/mike-birbiglia/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b015/author-kevin-hart-56813.jpg) Kevin Hart 48 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/kevin-hart/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b024/author-tracy-morgan-92052.jpg) Tracy Morgan 46 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/tracy-morgan/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-steve-martin-87330.jpg) Steve Martin 44 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/steve-martin/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b004/author-anthony-jeselnik-14109.jpg) Anthony Jeselnik 44 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/anthony-jeselnik/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-louis-c-k-1150.jpg) Louis C. K 43 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/louis-c-k/) ## More by Steven Wright > [Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/depression-is-merely-anger-without-enthusiasm/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/my-dental-hygienist-is-cute-every-time-i-visit-i-eat-a-whole-package/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/if-lawyers-are-disbarred-and-clergymen-defrocked-doesn-t-it-follow/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/if-i-ever-had-twins-i-d-use-one-for-parts/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/nobody-can-really-compare-a-relationship-in-which-the-victim-is-15/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-saw-a-tree-fall-in-the-woods-and-i-didn-t-hear-it/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/it-s-very-intense-to-be-in-front-of-a-live-audience-it-s-just-an/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-got-pulled-over-by-a-cop-and-he-said-do-you-know-the-speed-limit/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/babies-don-t-need-a-vacation-but-i-still-see-them-at-the-beach-it/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-just-got-out-of-the-hospital-i-was-in-a-speed-reading-accident-i/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/when-i-m-on-stage-it-s-really-intense-my-mind-is-going-a-million/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-don-t-like-politicians-and-i-don-t-like-politics-i-definitely-don-t/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-went-to-this-restaurant-last-night-that-was-set-up-like-a-big/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/why-isn-t-the-number-11-pronounced-onety-one/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/a-conscience-is-what-hurts-when-all-your-other-parts-feel-so-good/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/steven-wright/#itemlist", "name": "21 Comedy Quotes By Steven Wright", "numberOfItems": 21, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Like other kids wanted to become firemen or astronauts, I wanted to make people laugh.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/like-other-kids-wanted-to-become-firemen-or-astronauts-i-wanted-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/adf/steven-wright-432_astronaut_like-other-kids-wanted-to-become-firemen_2675517.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/adf/steven-wright-432_astronaut_like-other-kids-wanted-to-become-firemen_2675517.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/adf/steven-wright-432_astronaut_like-other-kids-wanted-to-become-firemen_2675517.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Like other kids wanted to become firemen or astronauts, I wanted to make people laugh.” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I laugh all the time - at things, people, stuff, whatever. 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It's a start.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-have-a-paper-cut-from-writing-my-suicide-note-it-s-a-start/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d8d/steven-wright-432_comedy_i-have-a-paper-cut-from-writing-my-suici_2345949.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d8d/steven-wright-432_comedy_i-have-a-paper-cut-from-writing-my-suici_2345949.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d8d/steven-wright-432_comedy_i-have-a-paper-cut-from-writing-my-suici_2345949.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I didn't want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-up.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-didn-t-want-to-be-selling-insurance-at-40-wondering-what-would-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/418/steven-wright-432_insurance_i-didn-t-want-to-be-selling-insurance-at_1874759.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/418/steven-wright-432_insurance_i-didn-t-want-to-be-selling-insurance-at_1874759.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/418/steven-wright-432_insurance_i-didn-t-want-to-be-selling-insurance-at_1874759.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I didn't want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-up.” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/only-one-in-four-jokes-ever-works-and-i-still-can-t-predict-what/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58f/steven-wright-432_comedy_only-one-in-four-jokes-ever-works-and-i_2403711.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58f/steven-wright-432_comedy_only-one-in-four-jokes-ever-works-and-i_2403711.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58f/steven-wright-432_comedy_only-one-in-four-jokes-ever-works-and-i_2403711.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-don-t-get-up-get-dressed-go-out-and-think-okay-i-gotta-find-eight/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/83e/steven-wright-432_comedy_i-don-t-get-up-get-dressed-go-out-and-th_3204332.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/83e/steven-wright-432_comedy_i-don-t-get-up-get-dressed-go-out-and-th_3204332.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/83e/steven-wright-432_comedy_i-don-t-get-up-get-dressed-go-out-and-th_3204332.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/to-me-comedy-is-just-twisting-reality-it-s-commenting-or-observing-or/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8b/steven-wright-432_comedy_to-me-comedy-is-just-twisting-reality-it_2536535.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8b/steven-wright-432_comedy_to-me-comedy-is-just-twisting-reality-it_2536535.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8b/steven-wright-432_comedy_to-me-comedy-is-just-twisting-reality-it_2536535.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life.” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-paint-i-draw-and-paint-i-ve-been-doing-that-since-i-was-in-third/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/03e/steven-wright-432_abstract_i-paint-i-draw-and-paint-i-ve-been-doing_2734014.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/03e/steven-wright-432_abstract_i-paint-i-draw-and-paint-i-ve-been-doing_2734014.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/03e/steven-wright-432_abstract_i-paint-i-draw-and-paint-i-ve-been-doing_2734014.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That's still what I am doing. The end.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-was-born-when-i-was-23-i-started-telling-jokes-then-i-started-going/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df4/steven-wright-432_born_i-was-born-when-i-was-23-i-started-telli_380481.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df4/steven-wright-432_born_i-was-born-when-i-was-23-i-started-telli_380481.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df4/steven-wright-432_born_i-was-born-when-i-was-23-i-started-telli_380481.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/you-know-those-things-that-you-throw-the-twigs-into-and-it-spits-them/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/293/steven-wright-432_branches_you-know-those-things-that-you-throw-the_2548993.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/293/steven-wright-432_branches_you-know-those-things-that-you-throw-the_2548993.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/293/steven-wright-432_branches_you-know-those-things-that-you-throw-the_2548993.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won't be funny.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/what-i-like-about-the-jokes-to-me-it-s-a-lot-of-logic-no-matter-how/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fe8/steven-wright-432_comedy_what-i-like-about-the-jokes-to-me-it-s-a_199069.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fe8/steven-wright-432_comedy_what-i-like-about-the-jokes-to-me-it-s-a_199069.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fe8/steven-wright-432_comedy_what-i-like-about-the-jokes-to-me-it-s-a_199069.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn't seem right.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/good-jokes-are-gems-a-good-idea-is-hard-to-come-by-i-couldn-t-give/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0aa/steven-wright-432_come_good-jokes-are-gems-a-good-idea-is-hard_653841.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0aa/steven-wright-432_come_good-jokes-are-gems-a-good-idea-is-hard_653841.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0aa/steven-wright-432_come_good-jokes-are-gems-a-good-idea-is-hard_653841.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for money…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Comedians are sociologists. We're pointing out stuff that the general public doesn't even stop to think about, looking at life in slow-motion and questioning everything we see.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/comedians-are-sociologists-we-re-pointing-out-stuff-that-the-general/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/500/steven-wright-432_comedian_comedians-are-sociologists-we-re-pointin_2661560.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/500/steven-wright-432_comedian_comedians-are-sociologists-we-re-pointin_2661560.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/500/steven-wright-432_comedian_comedians-are-sociologists-we-re-pointin_2661560.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Comedians are sociologists. We're pointing out stuff that the general public doesn't even stop to think…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-recently-went-to-the-hardware-store-and-i-bought-some-used-paint-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddf/steven-wright-432_batteries_i-recently-went-to-the-hardware-store-an_1674690.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddf/steven-wright-432_batteries_i-recently-went-to-the-hardware-store-an_1674690.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddf/steven-wright-432_batteries_i-recently-went-to-the-hardware-store-an_1674690.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it; it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-ve-been-doing-comedy-longer-than-i-haven-t-been-doing-comedy-as-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c2/steven-wright-432_casual_i-ve-been-doing-comedy-longer-than-i-hav_593547.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c2/steven-wright-432_casual_i-ve-been-doing-comedy-longer-than-i-hav_593547.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c2/steven-wright-432_casual_i-ve-been-doing-comedy-longer-than-i-hav_593547.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 17, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It's very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten seconds. My thing is to get the joke across in as few words as possible. However, sometimes a word that's not really needed does help the rhythm of it. It's a gut feeling.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/it-s-very-interesting-the-joke-comes-first-and-then-the-wording-comes/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d0/steven-wright-432_comedy_it-s-very-interesting-the-joke-comes-fir_2785194.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d0/steven-wright-432_comedy_it-s-very-interesting-the-joke-comes-fir_2785194.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d0/steven-wright-432_comedy_it-s-very-interesting-the-joke-comes-fir_2785194.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It's very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 18, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I never even thought of myself as deadpan until someone wrote an article about me about a year after I was doing comedy. There was a paper called the 'Boston Phoenix,' and someone wrote a description of what I was doing and that's where I first saw 'deadpan.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-never-even-thought-of-myself-as-deadpan-until-someone-wrote-an/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/178/steven-wright-432_articles_i-never-even-thought-of-myself-as-deadpa_478652.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/178/steven-wright-432_articles_i-never-even-thought-of-myself-as-deadpa_478652.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/178/steven-wright-432_articles_i-never-even-thought-of-myself-as-deadpa_478652.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I never even thought of myself as deadpan until someone wrote an article about me about a year after I was…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 19, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/the-stones-i-love-the-stones-i-watch-them-whenever-i-can-fred-barney/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/200/steven-wright-432_comedy_the-stones-i-love-the-stones-i-watch-the_1907683.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/200/steven-wright-432_comedy_the-stones-i-love-the-stones-i-watch-the_1907683.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/200/steven-wright-432_comedy_the-stones-i-love-the-stones-i-watch-the_1907683.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 20, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/doing-stand-up-is-like-running-across-a-frozen-pond-with-the-ice/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d1/steven-wright-432_behind-you_doing-stand-up-is-like-running-across-a_2506242.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d1/steven-wright-432_behind-you_doing-stand-up-is-like-running-across-a_2506242.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d1/steven-wright-432_behind-you_doing-stand-up-is-like-running-across-a_2506242.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 21, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the road. There's this guy, this comedian, and this is how he thinks, but people really don't know anything about me.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-m-standing-behind-a-wall-of-jokes-you-don-t-know-about-my-personal/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/79a/steven-wright-432_anything_i-m-standing-behind-a-wall-of-jokes-you_635334.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/79a/steven-wright-432_anything_i-m-standing-behind-a-wall-of-jokes-you_635334.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/79a/steven-wright-432_anything_i-m-standing-behind-a-wall-of-jokes-you_635334.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/steven-wright/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/steven-wright/", "name": "Comedy Quotes by Steven Wright", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/steven-wright/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/adf/steven-wright-432_astronaut_like-other-kids-wanted-to-become-firemen_2675517.jpg" }, "description": "21 Comedy quotes by Steven Wright. 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