---
title: "2 Comedy club Quotes By Gilbert Gottfried"
description: "2 Comedy club quotes by Gilbert Gottfried. Plus more from Gilbert Gottfried and more Comedy club sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/37d/gilbert-gottfried-7822_bother_i-used-to-go-to-the-improvisation-comedy_2112135.jpg"
---

> [I used to go to the Improvisation Comedy Club every night in Times Square. How I didn't get killed in that area either means that 1) God is watching over me or 2) I am so insignificant to God that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/i-used-to-go-to-the-improvisation-comedy-club-every-night-in-times/)

[Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/37d/gilbert-gottfried-7822_bother_i-used-to-go-to-the-improvisation-comedy_2112135.jpg)

> [Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you don't want to hear a joke that's blue, you shouldn't go to a comedy club where a comedian…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/some-comedians-tell-nice-jokes-that-you-can-tell-to-your-kids-some/)

[Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a2/gilbert-gottfried-7822_bad_some-comedians-tell-nice-jokes-that-you_2561064.jpg)

## More by Gilbert Gottfried

> [I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/i-can-t-even-find-someone-for-a-platonic-relationship-much-less-the/)

[Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/)

> [With Katrina, it's almost like the sequel that doesn't live up to the original. It's certainly a shocking event and a tragedy, but somehow…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/with-katrina-it-s-almost-like-the-sequel-that-doesn-t-live-up-to-the/)

[Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/)

> [I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/i-ve-never-been-one-of-those-who-wanted-to-fill-my-calendar-up-90/)

[Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/)

> [I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/i-predict-one-of-these-two-teams-will-win-the-super-bowl/)

[Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/)

> [I think of Alan Thicke as Perry Como without the excitement.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/i-think-of-alan-thicke-as-perry-como-without-the-excitement/)

[Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/)

> [I always wish the hotels were like they are in movies and TV shows, where if you're in Paris, right outside your window is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/i-always-wish-the-hotels-were-like-they-are-in-movies-and-tv-shows/)

[Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/)

> [If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/if-the-police-ever-try-to-pick-me-up-michael-jackson-told-me-i-can/)

[Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/)

> [I remember being at the premiere of 'Beverly Hills Cop II' and the tremendous reaction from the crowd outside, then going to a party…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/i-remember-being-at-the-premiere-of-beverly-hills-cop-ii-and-the/)

[Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/)

> [Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/unfortunately-i-ve-never-been-mistaken-as-johnny-depp/)

[Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/)

> [If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/if-someone-else-is-paying-for-it-food-just-tastes-a-lot-better/)

[Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/)

> [I just don't accept midgets as human beings. There's only so much political correctness I can accept.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/i-just-don-t-accept-midgets-as-human-beings-there-s-only-so-much/)

[Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/)

> [People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/people-have-many-theories-about-comedy-but-being-just-plain-funny-is/)

[Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/)

> [I found out about Jonathan Winters death a day after it happened. That seems wrong. A talent like his should be more revered. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/i-found-out-about-jonathan-winters-death-a-day-after-it-happened-that/)

[Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/)

> [There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I think it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/there-are-certain-things-i-don-t-want-to-joke-about-if-it-s-about/)

[Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/)

> [If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-gottfried/if-you-have-the-old-testament-at-home-if-you-flip-the-corner-pages/)

[Gilbert Gottfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-gottfried/)

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