---
title: "2 Colonel Quotes By Joseph Heller"
description: "2 Colonel quotes by Joseph Heller. Plus more from Joseph Heller and more Colonel sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/29b/joseph-heller-601_absolutes_colonel-cathcart-was-impervious-to-absol_1483566.jpg"
---

> [“Colonel Cathcart was impervious to absolutes. He could measure his own progress only in relationship to others, and his idea of excellence was to do something at least as well as all the men his own age who were doing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/colonel-cathcart-was-impervious-to-absolutes-he-could-measure-his-own/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/29b/joseph-heller-601_absolutes_colonel-cathcart-was-impervious-to-absol_1483566.jpg)

> [“The colonel dwelt in a vortex of specialists who were still specializing in trying to determine what was troubling him. They hurled lights in his eyes to see if he could see, rammed needles into nerves to hear if he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/the-colonel-dwelt-in-a-vortex-of-specialists-who-were-still/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/975/joseph-heller-601_colonel_the-colonel-dwelt-in-a-vortex-of-special_2593077.jpg)

## More by Joseph Heller

> [“Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle. "That's some catch, that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/yossarian-was-moved-very-deeply-by-the-absolute-simplicity-of-this/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

> [From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/from-men-motivated-by-moral-certitude-history-teaches-no-lasting-good/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

> [I’m cold,' Snowden said softly, 'I’m cold.' 'You’re going to be all right, kid,' Yossarian reassured him with a grin. 'You’re going to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/i-m-cold-snowden-said-softly-i-m-cold-you-re-going-to-be-all-right/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

> [The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/the-enemy-is-anybody-who-s-going-to-get-you-killed-no-matter-which/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

> [“They think that they’re smart and that the rest of us are dumb.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/they-think-that-they-re-smart-and-that-the-rest-of-us-are-dumb/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

> [“There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/there-was-only-one-catch-and-that-was-catch-22-which-specified-that-a/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

> [“Captain Flume was obsessed with the idea that Chief White Halfoat would tiptoe up to his cot one night when he was sound asleep…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/captain-flume-was-obsessed-with-the-idea-that-chief-white-halfoat/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

> [“Depreciating motels, junked automobiles, and quick-food joints grow like amber waves of grain.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/depreciating-motels-junked-automobiles-and-quick-food-joints-grow/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

> [“That was where he wanted to be if he had to be there at all, instead of hung out there in front like some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/that-was-where-he-wanted-to-be-if-he-had-to-be-there-at-all-instead/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

> [I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/i-had-examined-myself-pretty-thoroughly-and-discovered-that-i-was/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

> [“Yossarian was moved by such intense pity for his poverty that he wanted to smash his pale. sad, sickly face with his fist and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/yossarian-was-moved-by-such-intense-pity-for-his-poverty-that-he/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

> [You have deep-seated survival anxieties. And you don't like bigots, bullies, snobs or hypocrites. Subconsciously there are many people you hate." "Consciously, sir, consciously,"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/you-have-deep-seated-survival-anxieties-and-you-don-t-like-bigots/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

> [“His specialty was alfalfa, and he made a good thing out of not growing any. The government paid him well for every bushel of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/his-specialty-was-alfalfa-and-he-made-a-good-thing-out-of-not-growing/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

> [Every writer I know has trouble writing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/every-writer-i-know-has-trouble-writing/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

> [“No such private nights of ecstasy or hushed-up drinking and sex orgies ever occurred. They might have occurred if either General Dreedle or General…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/no-such-private-nights-of-ecstasy-or-hushed-up-drinking-and-sex/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

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