--- title: "4 Colonel Quotes By John Green" description: "4 Colonel quotes by John Green. Plus more from John Green and more Colonel sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd4/john-green-12_calculations_i-just-did-some-calculations-and-i-ve-be_607013.jpg" --- > [I just did some calculations and I've been able to determine that you're full of shit.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-just-did-some-calculations-and-i-ve-been-able-to-determine-that-you/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd4/john-green-12_calculations_i-just-did-some-calculations-and-i-ve-be_607013.jpg) > [“And if the Colonel thought that calling me his friend would make me stand by him, well, he was right.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/and-if-the-colonel-thought-that-calling-me-his-friend-would-make-me/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/709/john-green-12_friendship_and-if-the-colonel-thought-that-calling_1442474.jpg) > [The Colonel led all the cheers. Cornbread!" he screamed. CHICKEN!" the crowd responded. Rice!" PEAS!" And then, all together: "WE GOT HIGHER…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/the-colonel-led-all-the-cheers-cornbread-he-screamed-chicken-the/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3b5/john-green-12_cheer_the-colonel-led-all-the-cheers-cornbread_1735125.jpg) > [“Before I got here, I thought for a long time that the way out of the labyrinth was to pretend that it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/before-i-got-here-i-thought-for-a-long-time-that-the-way-out-of-the/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/658/john-green-12_colonel_before-i-got-here-i-thought-for-a-long-t_2188473.jpg) ## More by John Green > [Issac:"I dislike living in a world without Augustus Waters." Computer: "I don't understand-" Issac: "Me neither. Pause](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/issac-i-dislike-living-in-a-world-without-augustus-waters-computer-i/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“I just want to stay away from people and read books and think”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-just-want-to-stay-away-from-people-and-read-books-and-think/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [She smiled with all the delight of a kid on Christmas morning and said, "Y'all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die." -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/she-smiled-with-all-the-delight-of-a-kid-on-christmas-morning-and/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [A Margo for each of us--and each more mirror than window.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/a-margo-for-each-of-us-and-each-more-mirror-than-window/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“No one ever says good-bye unless they want to see you again.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/no-one-ever-says-good-bye-unless-they-want-to-see-you-again/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [Neither novels or their readers benefit from any attempts to divine whether any facts hide inside a story. Such efforts attack the very idea…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/neither-novels-or-their-readers-benefit-from-any-attempts-to-divine/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“Traffic's not too bad on Sheridan, and I'm cornering the car like it's the Indy 500, and we're listening to my favorite NMH song,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/traffic-s-not-too-bad-on-sheridan-and-i-m-cornering-the-car-like-it-s/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“Praise God for good nurses.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/praise-god-for-good-nurses/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [So I was ugly. I was never fat, really, and I never wore headgear or had zits or anything. But I was ugly. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/so-i-was-ugly-i-was-never-fat-really-and-i-never-wore-headgear-or-had/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [Nothing has ever looked like that ever in all of human history.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/nothing-has-ever-looked-like-that-ever-in-all-of-human-history/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“said to him quietly, as if I couldn’t hear or something. Dad was about to respond but I interrupted.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/said-to-him-quietly-as-if-i-couldn-t-hear-or-something-dad-was-about/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [I believe humans have souls, and I believe in the conservation of souls.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-believe-humans-have-souls-and-i-believe-in-the-conservation-of-souls/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“He was hot. A nonhotboy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault. But a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/he-was-hot-a-nonhotboy-stares-at-you-relentlessly-and-it-is-at-best/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [I think if you keep the box closed long enough you do kill the cat, actually.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-think-if-you-keep-the-box-closed-long-enough-you-do-kill-the-cat/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia. (...) You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/imagining-the-future-is-a-kind-of-nostalgia-you-spend-your-whole-life/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/colonel/john-green/#itemlist", "name": "4 Colonel Quotes By John Green", "numberOfItems": 4, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I just did some calculations and I've been able to determine that you're full of shit.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "John Green" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-just-did-some-calculations-and-i-ve-been-able-to-determine-that-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd4/john-green-12_calculations_i-just-did-some-calculations-and-i-ve-be_607013.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd4/john-green-12_calculations_i-just-did-some-calculations-and-i-ve-be_607013.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd4/john-green-12_calculations_i-just-did-some-calculations-and-i-ve-be_607013.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I just did some calculations and I've been able to determine that you're full of shit.” — John Green", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“And if the Colonel thought that calling me his friend would make me stand by him, well, he was right.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "John Green" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/and-if-the-colonel-thought-that-calling-me-his-friend-would-make-me/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/709/john-green-12_friendship_and-if-the-colonel-thought-that-calling_1442474.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/709/john-green-12_friendship_and-if-the-colonel-thought-that-calling_1442474.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/709/john-green-12_friendship_and-if-the-colonel-thought-that-calling_1442474.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“And if the Colonel thought that calling me his friend would make me stand by him, well, he was right.” — John Green", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The Colonel led all the cheers. Cornbread!\" he screamed. CHICKEN!\" the crowd responded. Rice!\" PEAS!\" And then, all together: \"WE GOT HIGHER SATs.\" Hip Hip Hip Hooray!\" the Colonel cried. YOU'LL BE WORKIN' FOR US SOMEDAY!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "John Green" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/the-colonel-led-all-the-cheers-cornbread-he-screamed-chicken-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3b5/john-green-12_cheer_the-colonel-led-all-the-cheers-cornbread_1735125.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3b5/john-green-12_cheer_the-colonel-led-all-the-cheers-cornbread_1735125.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3b5/john-green-12_cheer_the-colonel-led-all-the-cheers-cornbread_1735125.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The Colonel led all the cheers. Cornbread!\" he screamed. CHICKEN!\" the crowd responded. Rice!\" PEAS!\" And…” — John Green", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Before I got here, I thought for a long time that the way out of the labyrinth was to pretend that it did not exist, to build a small, self-sufficient world in a back corner of, the endless maze and to pretend that I was not lost, but home. But that only led to a lonely life accompanied only by the last words of the looking for a Great Perhaps, for real friends, and a more-than minor life. And then i screwed up and the Colonel screwed up and Takumi screwed up and she slipped through our fingers. And there's no sugar-coating it: She deserved better friends. When she fucked up, all those years ago, just a little girl terrified. into paralysis, she collapsed into the enigma of herself. And I could have done that, but I saw where it led for her. So I still believe in the Great Perhaps, and I can believe in it spite of having lost her. Beacause I will forget her, yes. That which came together will fall apart imperceptibly slowly, and I will forget, but she will forgive my forgetting, just as I forgive her for forgetting me and the Colonel and everyone but herself and her mom in those last moments she spent as a person. I know that she forgives me for being dumb and sacred and doing the dumb and scared thing. I know she forgives me, just as her mother forgives her. And here's how I know: I thought at first she was just dead. Just darkness. Just a body being eaten by bugs. I thought about her a lot like that, as something's meal. What was her-green eyes, half a smirk, the soft curves of her legs-would soon be nothing, just the bones I never saw. I thought about the slow process of becoming bone and then fossil and then coal that will, in millions of years, be mined by humans of the future, and how they would their homes with her, and then she would be smoke billowing out of a smokestack, coating the atmosphere. I still think that, sometimes. I still think that, sometimes, think that maybe \"the afterlife\" is just something we made up to ease the pain of loss, to make our time in the labyrinth bearable. Maybe she was just a matter, and matter gets recycled. But ultimately I do not believe that she was only matter. The rest of her must be recycled, too. I believe now that we are greater than the sum of our parts. If you take Alaska's genetic code and you add her life experiences and the relationships she had with people, and then you take the size and shape of her body, you do not get her. There is something else entirety. There is a part of her knowable parts. And that parts has to go somewhere, because it cannot be destroyed. Although no one will ever accuse me of being much of a science student, One thing I learned from science classes is that energy is never created and never destroyed. And if Alaska took her own life, that is the hope I wish I could have given her. Forgetting her mother, failing her mother and her friends and herself -those are awful things, but she did not need to fold into herself and self-destruct. Those awful things are survivable because we are as indestructible as we believe ourselves to be. When adults say \"Teenagers think they are invincible\" with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don't know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail. So I know she forgives me, just as I forgive her. Thomas Eidson's last words were: \"It's very beautiful over there.\" I don't know where there is, but I believe it's somewhere, and I hope it's beautiful.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "John Green" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/before-i-got-here-i-thought-for-a-long-time-that-the-way-out-of-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/658/john-green-12_colonel_before-i-got-here-i-thought-for-a-long-t_2188473.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/658/john-green-12_colonel_before-i-got-here-i-thought-for-a-long-t_2188473.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/658/john-green-12_colonel_before-i-got-here-i-thought-for-a-long-t_2188473.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Before I got here, I thought for a long time that the way out of the labyrinth was to pretend that it did…” — John Green", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/colonel/john-green/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/colonel/john-green/", "name": "Colonel Quotes by John Green", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/colonel/john-green/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd4/john-green-12_calculations_i-just-did-some-calculations-and-i-ve-be_607013.jpg" }, "description": "4 Colonel quotes by John Green. 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